History Main / TheGuardsMustbeCrazy

* When Feliciano rescues Ludwig from the American base in the ''Manga/AxisPowersHetalia'' fanfiction, "Auf Wiedersen, Sweetheart." The plan involved getting all but two American guards to leave by telling them that their counterparts had gotten into a BarBrawl in town and then convincing the remaining guards to [[DrinkingOnDuty drink the drugged flask of bourbon]].

* In ''FanFic/ThatEpicPlan'', L sends Aizawa along to supervise the prisoner transfer of Beyond Birthday to taskforce HQ, but with the ease Light has with communicating with Beyond, Aizawa might as well not be there at all.

* In ''FanFic/TheFifthAct'', Genesis gets reports of a lone unaffliated man outside the camp, believed to be a Wutai spy. Genesis thinks the scouts who reported [[PeggySue Cloud's]] presence are morons since Cloud is not hiding in the least, is too blond to be from Wutai and is openly camping.
* ''FanFic/ThePiecesLieWhereTheyFell'': In the sequel ''Picking Up the Pieces'', the new security guard at Night's gym is ostensibly there to keep further pranksters out after somepony dumped purple dye in their swimming pool, but he's too busy reading his newspaper to look up at any visitors, like Night, when he says the pool’s closed and explains ''why'' it’s closed.

* ''Fanfic/RainbowDoubleDashsLunaverse:''

* In the ''Manga/CaptainHarlock'' manga, Earth's prime minister has Daiba arrested with plans to have the guards follow him to Harlock or otherwise use him as bait... Then Yuki, from Harlock's crew, walks in the prison, ''presents herself as one of Harlock's pirates'' and '''''asks for confirmation if that's where they keep Daiba for the trap''''', at which point they just let her pass. Harlock's vice-commander Yattaran, who had got himself thrown in the same cell as Daiba to help him in a "proper" escape attempt, can barely believe it, the guards belately realize they look like fools... And the plan to follow Harlock's ship falls through because the radar operator was ''playing golf with the prime minister''.

* There is a {{Ninja}} technique, the name of which translates as "throwing the toothpick", to distract guards. If it's done properly, the guards never see ''anything'', [[GoLookAtTheDistraction they just hear a sound]].

* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mas_Selamat_bin_Kastari Mas Selamat bin Kastari]], one of the most influential terrorists in Southeast Asia escaped Singapore's most well-guarded prison by [[BathroomBreakOut going to the toilet]], changing quickly, and climbing out the window. When he was recaptured more than a year later, it was revealed that he climbed into the storm drains, went 20+ kilometers north in 3 days, created improvised flotation devices from trash, and swam across from Singapore to Malaysia and met up with other operatives. Apparently, it was so unexpected, that theories ranged from his escape a cover for the fact that he had died in detention, he used black magic to get out, or he was allowed to escape so that he could lead authorities to other terrorists.

** Averted, then played straight in [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0387.html Elan's prison escape.]] His attempts at tricking the guards to let him out don't work. But after he gets Thog to smash their cells open, he tells the guards (while magically disguised as one) that the mess is due to "renovations" and that one of the prisoners (himself) died of "vaporizing flu," which supposedly disintegrated the body and is highly contagious to anyone who stands around asking questions. The guards immediately leave to avoid catching this transparently made-up disease, and Elan and Thog apparently just walk right out of the prison.

** Two men got past the security guard at the front desk, Richard Abath, by pressing the buzzer by the door and claiming they were policemen who were coming to investigate a disturbance. Despite knowing he wasn't supposed to let unauthorized gifts inside, he did, since he figured the rule didn't apply to the police. The "policemen" then ordered him to get out from behind the desk, and handcuffed him. Abath has also admitted he frequently came to work intoxicated, and that he went along with what the men wanted because he was worried that if he was arrested, [[SkewedPriorities he wouldn't be able to attend a Grateful Dead concert he had tickets to]]. Unsurprisingly, his sheer incompetence has made many wonder if he was in on it... and perhaps even more unsurprisingly, law enforcement (although not completely ruling out the idea) has decided that Abath probably wasn't smart enough to pull it off.

* Allowing the prisoner/captive [[BathroomBreakOut to go to the bathroom or relieve him/herself unguarded]], especially when the bathroom contains possible [[AirVentPassageway alternate exits]].

* So far, the Obama White House has been crashed [[RuleOfThree three times]] by uninvited guests. The first and third cases took advantage of a BavarianFireDrill, while the second gatecrash was a result of some misguided tour organizers sending the tourists to a White House luncheon instead of on the tour.

** This could at least somewhat be justified that Kirk had no idea the Enterprise had ignored orders to return and illegally entered Klingon space. He was hoping they'd still be around and could somehow contact them but it was gamble and they'd have to wait for them to do said illegal intrustion of Klingon space not realizing they were already nearly there went Kirk started his escape attempt. Given how quickly the guards are onto him they likely didn't expect that the rescue party to beam them out would be there so quickly and the plan was to kill him long before anyone he contacted could have concievably been there to get them.

* Subverted (sort of) in ''Film/AntMan''. A heist involves Luis impersonating a security guard. When another guard asks him what he's doing, he claims that the "boss man" told him to check the room. The guard he's trying to con? The boss man. No word whether it would have worked on any other guard, though.

* The Guards in ''Disney/{{Tangled}}''. They cannot find an old lady who has kidnapped the baby princess for almost two decades, when she happened to be in a tower within riding distance. Then said princess's crown gets stolen right under their noses. Then one of the thieves comes back to Corona later with a girl with 70 feet long of hair and they don't notice it, even though he is dancing around. The only competent member is [[CoolHorse Maximus]], and [[spoiler:he's the only one to make crime virtually disappear]]. The same thief was able to walk up to the palace and meet the King and Queen face-to-face. Their incompetence is proven even more later on when a 14-year old kid is able to distract all the guards around Corona by putting up a smoke-screen and knocking them out with a giant monster while the kid himself somehow managed to infiltrate all the way to the castle and kidnap the Queen without any resistance whatsoever, demonstrating that the guards didn't even try to guard parts of the castle nor do they even bother to bodyguard a very important figure in the country.

* ''Disney/{{Zootopia}}'' has one scene where Judy and Nick manage to sneak past a group of wolves by imitating a howl, causing the entire wolf squad to howl in response and completely miss out on the two sneaking in.

* In the 12 chapter of the ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fic ''Fanfic/LovedAndLost'', one of the guards under [[TheUsurper King Jewelius]] is patrolling to make sure the [[VoluntaryShapeshifting Changelings]] are locked in their cells. Queen Chrysalis tries to fool him by turning herself into Jewelius, and then into a crying filly. To make her stop, the irritated guard walks close to her cell, and Chrysalis seizes her chance to slam his head against the bars and steal the keys he's carrying as he falls unconscious. [[spoiler:After his takeover, Jewelius [[ThePurge murdered all the Royal Guards]] who were injured during the Changeling invasion yet [[UndyingLoyalty remained loyal]] to the usurper princesses, [[TradingBarsForStripes filling the greatly decreased ranks with convicts he bribed to be loyal to himself]]. If this guard is one of those replacements, his carelessness would be explained by his lack of proper drilling in a guard's duties.]]

[[caption-width-right:275:Elite security.]]

** In ''Discworld/TheLastHero'', Evil Harry Dread (the archetypical EvilOverlord) ''hires'' his henchmen on the above criteria. "Butcher" is the archetype of the trope.
** ''Discworld/GuardsGuards'' opens with a dedication to those people "whose job it is, round about chapter three, to rush at the hero one at a time and be slaughtered."
** In ''Discworld/{{Thud}}'', the text mentions how when Sergeant Colon is on guard duty, he "kept the cell keys in a tin box in the bottom drawer of his desk, a long way out of reach of any stick, hand, dog, cunningly thrown belt, or trained Klatchian monkey spider (making Fred Colon possibly unique in the annals of jail history)."
** Seemingly averted in ''Discworld/TheLastContinent'', where the guards at Bugrup Prison are wise to every escape trope, but haven't worked out how Tinhead Ned (and later Rincewind) ''did'' escape (the jail door can be lifted off its hinges). Possibly because they reckon it makes a better ballad if the prisoner escapes and then gets killed in a last stand at the Post Office.
** In ''Discworld/{{Pyramids}}'', it's noted the guards of Djelyibabi are intentionally hired for being stupid and unimaginative, in case they start getting ideas, especially ones along the lines of "why aren't ''we'' in charge?"
** ''Discworld/NightWatch:'' Snouty, prison guard of the old Treacle Mine Road watch house at the time of the Glorious Revolution of the 25th of May. Vimes notes he's stupid enough to walk up to the bars of the cell, when he's on his own and has the keys on a belt, which means Vimes could easily lay him out and escape if he wanted. After a few seconds, Snouty actually steps into the cells, and Vimes' monologue notes if he did it with the ''other'' prisoner he's got, Snouty would be dead a few days early.

Being a [[PatrollingMook guard]] for an EvilOverlord is a low-status, low-pay, high-risk job in an [[NoOSHACompliance unsafe workplace]], with very little [[YouHaveFailedMe long term job security]], but hey, they normally have a brilliant [[{{Retirony}} pension plan]]. So it's hardly surprising that most applicants aren't exactly [[CluelessDeputy the sharpest knives in the drawer]] (not that their bosses tolerate [[SurroundedByIdiots incompetent underlings]]), and could be fooled by tricks that wouldn't bother an average six-year old.

* Or just as bad, [[ThrowingTheDistraction abandoning their post to investigate these odd sounds]]. Is it any wonder [[EasilyConqueredWorld it's so easy]] to kidnap the President's daughter?

* When searching for people, [[FailedASpotCheck not looking in ridiculously obvious hiding places]].

* Not asking for identification when an unscheduled [[TrojanPrisoner prisoner shipment]] of a large and dangerous captive shows up.
* Assuming that the heroes would never attempt to sneak by RightUnderTheirNoses.

* But never curious enough to eavesdrop on conversations between the prisoner and [[AloneWithPrisonerPloy unscheduled higher-ups]], ''especially'' when they say they [[AloneWithPrisonerPloy want to be alone]] with a prisoner, if you know what I mean.
* Leaving important keys dangling from an easily accessible chain.

* Examining [[SickCaptiveScam allegedly sick]] prisoners whilst unarmed and alone, and having left the cell door open.
* Never watching prisoners locked in a room [[BedsheetLadder with a bed and an open window]].
* Not raising an alarm upon seeing something suspicious, especially the corpse of another guard.
* Particularly in [[StealthBasedGame stealth-based video games]], staring at the wall or otherwise ignoring key entry and exit points. [[note]]Stealth-game guards also tend to have very limited peripheral vision and a very predictable sweep of the head while patrolling, although it's a smidge unfair to call someone "stupid" for what are obvious physiological or psychological problems. Whoever ''hired'' them, on the other hand...[[/note]]
* Another one common in stealth games is guards having to stare at the hero for a good ten seconds before they even think that the oddly-dressed guy running across the restricted area might be the hero that they're looking for. And then not bothering to look as soon as they can no longer see him.
* Ignoring the fact that [[MobileShrubbery Joe just put that box in the storage closet.]]
* Blurting out the [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish password]] to the door they're supposed to be guarding.

* Not noticing that the other guards seem to be disappearing.
* Carrying or storing weapons in a prison, in such a way that they are easily stolen by the escaping prisoners (prison guards being heavily armed makes sense, but not in a way that allows the prisoners to acquire these weapons).

* Not properly searching prisoners before throwing them into the cell. Especially, allowing them to keep their "harmless trinkets, which will totally not help me escape" with them in their cells. In the case they actually bother to confiscate the equipment, they will often end up leaving it in a place where the prisoners can easily recover it if they were to attempt an escape.
* Dropping Full Alert Mode because the hero (who two minutes ago ran across the room in a massive firefight with everybody) hasn't been seen for two minutes. And he keeps doing this.

* Having alarms that can be switched off by cutting the power or the wire.[[note]]In real life, alarms have battery backup, fault-detection to detect when a wire has been cut (because wires popping loose is also a likely problem to occur), and even an alarm being shut off legitimately will alert a the people monitoring it.[[/note]]
* Never questioning or getting confirmation about that mysterious surprise inspection, the [[JanitorImpersonationInfiltration new janitor]] or [[DeliveryGuyInfiltration pizza delivery]].

* An inability to connect the man in front of you with the one you are chasing as, although they have the same height, build, appearance, outfit and ethnicity, the one you are chasing was not wearing a hat.
* Hanging the keys to a cell somewhere [[HookingTheKeys the prisoners, with a little bit of ingenuity, can reach them]].

Yes, it causes much annoyance among viewers, but this trope is very handy for a writer because it allows the excitement of a bad guy or good guy to be captured and also leaves it open for said prisoner to escape. If the guards were competent, the story may end up bogged down with important characters stuck in prison. It is also one of the AcceptableBreaksFromReality in that if StealthBasedGame guards were too competent, the games would be too damn hard to play.

This isn't simply about being captured by an EvilOverlord either. Most public places have some simple form of security, like at the mall or a sports arena, and despite the "mall cop" stereotype of this security, it's usually on-the-ball. Some events like chase scenes count on that sort of general security being totally absent or inept so the story can continue to be exciting. The good guy is being chased by the bad guys, [[RealityEnsues to have him chased by security, too]] when it isn't really important to the plot gives viewers a little too much to keep track of.

The trope name is a pun on the film ''Film/TheGodsMustBeCrazy''.

See also ConspicuouslySelectivePerception for the stealth game variant.

Mind you the place the guards in question are guarding may have SwissCheeseSecurity, where the heavily guarded complex is easily entered and/or exited.

* Being a guard in real life can be incredibly boring. It's a repetitive, tedious job. While you're trying to get through your boring shift, your prisoners are watching your every move -- you're probably the most interesting thing going on. All it takes is that one point in your pattern when your guard is down, though...

** ItOnlyWorksOnce... Thing is, this isn't a bad escape plan, which is why it worked. It relies on the fact that it simply isn't practical to monitor prisoners TOO closely, so if you're clever enough... plus, after this happened apparently it became a lot more popularized anyway. The Guards were also relying on San Francisco bay's freezing water and distance from the city doing the hard work for them. Which may have happened.
** Actually, it worked more than once. The two inmates who escaped from New York's Clinton Correctional Facility in 2015 made dummies and, per ''Film/TheShawshankRedemption'', eventually cut a passage to the sewers to the outside. They were able to count on the corrections officers on the night shift not really doing their actual counts, just saying that they had.
* TruthInTelevision: A convict in a US prison was able to escape by [[DressingAsTheEnemy dressing up as a guard]], because the guards were more familiar with the prisoners than each other.
** There has also been at least one case where an accomplice faxed realistic-looking release papers from a nearby [=McDonald's=] fax machine, resulting in a convict walking out scot-free, without anyone thinking about double-checking even the clearly visible fax-number.
** Another inmate once escaped by smuggling in a suit of civilian clothes, calling a meeting with his lawyer, and, when his lawyer left the room, simply changed and walked out of the (unlocked) cell they were meeting in. He made it as far as the front door when a guard stopped him, the inmate claimed to be an Assistant US Attorney and flashed his "badge". The guard let him go and walk out the door, reasoning the "badge" must be genuine since he had never seen anything like it. Just so you know, the "badge" was in fact the inmate's ''prisoner ID'', issued by the prison that the guard worked at.
** During the UsefulNotes/ColdWar a couple of East Germans made their own uniforms mimicking those of the East German Guards and simply saluted the guards on duty, then walked through the checkpoint to West Berlin.
* All of the approaches above were tried, often successfully, by prisoners of war attempting to escape under various conditions. One of them, a Britisher named David James who escaped from a World War II German POW camp, analyzed the challenge in a 1947 account published in ''[[http://books.google.com/books?id=OpcaAAAAMAAJ&q=%22escaping+was+essentially+a+psychological+problem,+depending+on+the+inobservance+of+mankind,+coupled+with+a+ready+acceptance+of+the+everyday+at+its+face+value%22&dq=%22escaping+was+essentially+a+psychological+problem,+depending+on+the+inobservance+of+mankind,+coupled+with+a+ready+acceptance+of+the+everyday+at+its+face+value%22&hl=en&sa=X&ei=L1jWU7i4FpChyATyuICoAg&ved=0CBwQ6AEwAA Blackwood's Magazine]]'' as follows, "To sum it up, I came to the conclusion that escaping was essentially a psychological problem, depending on the inobservance of mankind, coupled with a ready acceptance of the everyday at its face value."

* In Germany, an inmate managed to get out of prison by climbing into a cardboard box and getting shipped out. Apparently no-one checked to see all the prisoners working that detail came back or why the package was unusually heavy. [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid Hideo]] [[Creator/HideoKojima Kojima]] [[http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7730018.stm would be so proud.]]

* So far, the Obama White House has been crashed [[RuleOfThree three times]] by uninvited guests. The first and third cases took advantage of a BavarianFireDrill, while the second gatecrash was a result of some misguided tour organizers sending the tourists to a White House luncheon instead of on the tour. Of course, that's three incidents ''that we know about''. Who knows how many people have gone in and not gotten caught. Indeed, that can be the trouble with things like this -- if someone does wander around the White House and no-one catches them, who is to know that it even happened?

* Averted [[http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Packers-linebacker-forgets-ID-can-t-get-into-Wh?urn=nfl-wp5018 when the Green Bay Packers went to the White House to be congratulated]] on their UsefulNotes/SuperBowl Victory in 2011. Linebacker Desmond Bishop lost his photo ID on the plane and was thus denied entry to the White House. Before you say "But he was on national television in the Super Bowl! He was with his team! How could they deny him entry?!!?", remember how often in fiction the "lost my ID" ruse works -- and it works in RealLife too, due to this trope -- and obviously no place should have better security than the headquarters. So good job, guards!

** In one regard, he was either brilliant or very lucky: his aircraft was so small that radar registered him as a helicopter. He also lucked out that he passed over Pskov as its local regiment was on maneuvers and said pilots were inexperienced and prone to forgetting the correct identification settings, so the flight controllers classified him and every plane in the area as friendly, and he also passed over Torzhok as a rescue effort was being mounted for an air crash and he was identified as one of the helicopters participating in the rescue.
** The type of aircraft he used, a Cessna 172, is smaller than many military helicopters, and roughly comparable in top speed. It's no surprise that it did not appear urgently threatening to the air defense personnel. That said, Rust has claimed that his intent was to reduce tensions between the East and West, and in a perhaps unintentional way, [[BatmanGambit it succeeded.]] The firing of various Soviet military officers in the aftermath also had the effect of purging much of the military leadership that was opposed to Gorbachev's planned reforms.
** The guards weren't crazy, simply [[VodkaDrunkenski drunk]]. Rust unwittingly chose Soviet "Border Guard's Day" as the date of his flight. The one day a year when Guards could get away with drinking on duty...

** Prior to this, the Swamp King has a very hard time trying to keep the guards he'd assigned to his son from following him out of the room through a SustainedMisunderstanding. And even when they ''do'' finally get the picture, they smilingly watch on as the Prince writes out a letter, [[{{Arrowgram}} ties it to an arrow]] and hurriedly fires it out the window in order to summon help, because [[LawfulStupid the king didn't specifically order them to stop him doing this]].

** None of them even try to stop Lancelot during said UnstoppableRage, or even try to ''[[TooDumbToLive avoid him.]]''
** Prior to this, the King has a very hard time trying to keep the guards he'd assigned to his son from following him out of the room through a SustainedMisunderstanding. And even when they ''do'' finally get the picture, they smilingly watch on as the Prince writes out a letter, [[{{Arrowgram}} ties it to an arrow]], and hurriedly fires it out the window.

** Played within "It's About Time". Twilight sneaks into the private library of the palace and does a ''VERY'' poor job of staying hidden, yet the guards are completely oblivious to her. She finally gets caught trying to open the door to the library, and the guard greets her politely and unlocks the door. Since Twilight is the protégé of Princess Celestia, she's always welcome in the palace and library -- the guards were just ''ignoring'' her.

* The Trope was played within ''WesternAnimation/StrokerAndHoop'', when Stroker has to knock a guard out to get deeper into a complex. After [[DressingAsTheEnemy dressing as the guard]], he gets into the next room where the guard is seemingly fooled by Stroker holding a clipboard over his face and using a bad falsetto. The guard isn't fooled for a second, asking Stroker if he thinks he's some kind of idiot. Stroker complains that [[LampshadeHanging the guard should have been reading a skin mag or watching a sports game instead of monitoring the camera feeds]], causing the guard to retort "Hey, I happen to ''like'' my job."