History Main / GoodAdulteryBadAdultery

* This is pondered by Nick Dunne in ''Literature/GoneGirl.'' [[spoiler:When the book starts, he's been having an affair with one of his college-age students for over a year, which puts him squarely in the "bad adulterer" category, particularly since it comes after he got the urbane Amy to move out of New York and into his midwestern hometown. His horror at TheReveal that Amy is a hardened sociopath and ConsummateLiar who's been manipulating him for years is commingled with relief that it might retroactively make him a good adulterer, even though he had no knowledge of any of this at the time.]]

* In ''Film/ComingHome'', the wife is lonely and unsatisfied, the husband is distant (and by the end of the film, crazy) and the paraplegic Vietnam veteran with whom the wife cheats is kind and noble. (The vet is also able to help the wife reach orgasm, something she could never do with her husband.) It almost seems at one point as if the main message behind the film (apart from "War Is Bad!") is that [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop "Adultery Can Be Good for You!"]] Of course, the infidelity ''does'' have negative consequences... but mostly for the husband. One gets the impression that the wife is better off for the experience.

* In ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemJugdral Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War]]'', a highly plot-significant couple features both. Duke Victor of Velthomer is bad, as a serial adulterer and rapist who tried to throw his pregnant victim out of his household[[note]]she was his wife's favorite maid[[/note]]. His wife Lady Cigyun is good, as she takes TheWisePrince as a lover in the aftermath of finding out about Victor's crime. Those who know the story sympathize with her for having such an awful husband.

* In Creator/SergeyLukyanenko's ''Literature/NightWatch'', Anton is prophesied by Geser that he and Svetlana will have a powerful Other child. Both are attracted to each other but are apprehensive about the prophecy. During a Night Watch retreat, Anton catches her after she has a threesome with Ignat (an incubus) and another woman. The next morning, she realizes he knows but is mad that he doesn't seem to care. Anton actually tries to justify her actions, which causes her to blow up into a tirade on the stupid prophecy and the fact that she hasn't had sex in years (presumably, since her husband left her). This, of course, raises the question of why she would choose to have sex with another man and ''another woman'' rather than her boyfriend, for whom she has feelings. This is especially jarring because Ignat previously tries to seduce her (it's his specialty) but fails miserably. This incident is never mentioned again, and they end up getting married and having a powerful Other daughter.

* ''Film/{{The Count of Monte Cristo|2002}}'' has Edmond (the Count) have an affair with his true love Mercedes, who married his rival while he was unjustly imprisoned. It's revealed that she only married the other man because she was pregnant with Edmond's son (now a young man), and none of the men realize it until she admits it. In the end, Edmond, Mercedes and their son live happily ever after.

* The big reveal in the free web VN ''Funeral'' is that [[spoiler:the protagonist was disgraced after being found out as not only a serial adulterer, but a [[spoiler:SerialRapist]] when [[spoiler:his various victims from his workplace came forward #metoo style]], with devastating consequences for his business and his family, the latter of whom have never forgiven him for his actions and his lies, even after his death.

* The big reveal in the free web VN ''Funeral'' is that [[spoiler:the protagonist was disgraced after being found out as not only a serial adulterer, but a SerialRapist when his various victims from his workplace came forward #metoo style, with devastating consequences for his business and his family, the latter of whom have never forgiven him for his actions and his lies, even after his death]].

* Adultery is one of the main themes of ''VisualNovel/InYourArmsTonight'', which begins with the protagonist's discovery that her husband of three months is having an affair. She has the option of divorcing him immediately, but there are several routes in which she doesn't, and instead ends up getting involved with another man while she is still married. This is always portrayed sympathetically as the protagonist finding the love and support that her husband is not providing to her, and only in one such route does she carefully refrain from physical intimacy with her love interest because she feels it would make her no better than her husband. Her husband's infidelity, on the other hand, is never presented sympathetically: it is a purely physical relationship, and in one route he goes so far as to tell the protagonist that he is cheating on her because she does not have enough sex appeal.

* The cheater is cheating with another member of the cheated-upon character's family. The "mild" version tends to involve a cousin, sibling, uncle[=/=]aunt, etc.; some such situations grow out of a SiblingRivalry that has taken a rather dark turn. More extreme cases may involve an {{Abusive Parent|s}} engaging in ParentalIncest, which typically makes the cheater utterly irredeemable and has tragic consequences for both of the other partners.

** Also averted in the cinema-verite musical "Once" (which has a lot in common with "Brief Encounter"), where the Girl refuses to have anything other than a platonic relationship with the Guy: while she and her husband are separated, and the marriage is probably unsalvageable, she wants to give it every chance she can, for the sake of her daughter.

** Compare ''She's Gotta Have It'', which features Nola dating three different men simultaneously. They're all mildly resentful of the situation, but it never explodes into an EscalatingWar, in part because Nola is honest with them from the beginning about the situation.

** When Jean Grey returned from the dead, Cyclops rushed to her side abandoning his wife Madelyne Pryor-Summers and baby son Nathan. Although it seemed a fairly "safe" thing to do, since it established the OneTruePairing that had characterized the franchise since ''X-Men'' vol. 1 #1, Cyclops was one of the leading protagonists and Madelyne had only existed for about three years, the matter was handled in such a way that a large segment of X-Men fans still haven't forgiven Scott to this day. This even though editors and writers tried to fix it in a way that revealed Madelyne as Jean's clone and had her go on a RoaringRampageOfRevenge as the bloodthirsty Goblyn Queen.
** Later on, after Jean and Scott had become a married couple, Creator/GrantMorrison decided to break them up and to pair up Cyclops with his pet character Emma Frost. This involved Emma, acting as Scott's therapist, entering into a telepathic adulterous affair with him and basically declaring [[RetCon that everything readers had been told in the past 35 years about Scott's character and the love between him and Jean was a lie]], so that cheating on his (second) wife and hooking up with an unethical ex-villain with a superiority complex was portrayed as Emma enabling Scott to reach true maturity. Naturally, since Jean Grey is one of the more popular X-Men, a lot of the fans were not pleased - especially as Morrison proceeded to kill her off - and not many tears were shed when Scott broke up with Emma during the events of ''Avengers vs. X-Men''.

* In ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' fanfiction involving the lady Assassins, several different views are given concerning infidelity. In the [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6697660/26/The-Discworld-Tarot Discworld Tarot]] episode on the Three of Cups - which has strong associations with infidelity - Miss Alice Band has a novel problem to face. Three regular lovers don't mind the fact that they, at most, only have a one-third share in her affections. Alice herself sees this not so much as serial monogamy as parallel monogamy. But the fourth lover is jealous as Hell and is showing it. As the fourth woman in her life is a Seamstress to whom Alice is paying $800 dollars a time for professional attention, jealousy should not factor in. But she's had a paying relationship with this Seamstress for a long time now. Alice has discovered it's not as simple as that. Her regular Seamstress is being most unprofessional and has fallen in love with her client...

* ''Film/AlreadyTomorrowInHongKong'' deconstructs this. The story revolves around two acquaintances deciding to spend a night together walking around Hong Kong. Both are in relationships. It's implied that Josh's relationship with his girlfriend Sam is less than stable - since her parents don't know about him and he's introduced waiting outside her birthday party alone and bored. When a friend of Sam's catches him dancing with Ruby, it brings the two of them down to earth. While Josh tries to justify it by saying they didn't do anything physical, Ruby still calls it "emotional cheating" and points out that what they've been doing isn't fair to either spouse.

* ''Film/BrokebackMountain'': While the infidelity is presented sympathetically, the spouses are clearly shown as victims, and the destruction of both families is shown as a painful consequences of the affair. The whole thing is presented as a grand tragedy for everyone with the spouses coming out better in the end.

* ''Film/DoctorZhivago'' stars a pair of lovers who are themselves married to other people. The woman's husband disappeared in a battle during the War, and she spends much of the movie trying to find him. [[spoiler:It turns out he didn't just survive the battle- he became a high-ranking Red Army officer as a result of it.]] The man's wife...well, nothing happened to her actually. She still loves him and lives with him at the time of the affair and is even caring for their child. Because the movie is pitched to the audience as being about one of the great love stories of all time, the fact that this is technically adultery is nearly an afterthought.

**The main characters start out pretend cheating to get back at their partners. When they genuinely fall for each other, they stop seeing one another and try and salvage their marriages. When they do wind up together, it's well earned.

* ''Film/{{Spanglish}}''. Adam Sandler's character is the one left sexually unsatisfied due to how quickly his wife gets off (and subsequently falls asleep). Later on, when she is discovered to be a cheater, she is vilified. Meanwhile, his affections for the maid is justified in much the way that the typical "woman finds love out of marriage" is, but they are both strong enough to realize that they can't have what they want.

* Averted in Creator/WongKarWai's wistful ''Film/InTheMoodForLove''. The protagonists, already close in spirit, discover that their respective spouses are having an affair with each other, yet they tacitly agree not to do likewise - although there are hints (not that there are anything ''but'' hints in this film) that they came very close.

** One likely reason [[Franchise/ThePinkPanther Inspector Clouseau]] turned into the BreakoutCharacter in the original ''Film/ThePinkPanther1963'' was not only because his wife was cheating on him with the jewel thief he was pursuing, but because at the end she helps frame the poor [[TheFool Fool]] for their crimes... making him more sympathetic than intended. It helps that the movie clearly sets his wife as being in the wrong. Clouseau is shown to be ''extremely'' devoted to his wife and willing to indulge pretty much any of her whim, and never shows any interest towards the other gorgeous women in the movie. Sure, he's a klutz, but no one can fault his devotion as a husband.

** In ''Film/BeingThere'', Eve Rand falls for [[SeeminglyProfoundFool Chance]] (Sellers). She's married to another man, Ben, but it's a [[MayDecemberRomance May-December relationship]] (with what author Ellen Gilchrist called the "bartered sexuality" that implies in an essay) and in fact, he's dying. But first, she loves Ben dearly and he her. Second, Ben senses and understands her longing for Chance, and in fact it makes him ''happy'' that she'll have someone to love and to love her when he's gone. With this understood, she makes several seduction attempts on Chance, and HilarityEnsues since Chance hasn't the faintest idea what's going on. At the end, however, [[spoiler:when Chance is at Ben's deathbed, he promises the old man he will take care of Eve, and tells the attending doctor that he does love her; he may not understand specifics, as is his nature, but he has grown kinda fond of her nonetheless.]]

** Compare ''She's Gotta Have It'', which features Nola dating three different men simultaneously. They're all mildly resentful of the situation- but it never explodes into an EscalatingWar in part because Nola is honest with them from the beginning what the situation is.
* ''Film/TheWholeNineYards'' has the husband, Oz, working his tail off to support his unloving, freeloading wife AND mother-in-law, while they're plotting to have him killed for life insurance. She also goads him into trying to turn another hitman, Jimmy, in for reward money showing a clear lack of concern for Oz's well being in the process. When Oz starts courting the Jimmy's ex, nobody is feeling sorry for the wife. In fact, [[spoiler: Oz is portrayed as being such a nice guy that the wife's first hitman can't even bring herself to kill him, and Jimmy [[EvenEvilHasStandards flips out over adultery despite MURDER being his trade]].]]

* In ''Film/TheWolverine'', the good adulterer [[spoiler:Logan, sleeps with Mariko, but he's a wounded soul and she's trapped in a loveless engagement]]. The bad adulterer [[spoiler:Noburo, is just getting his jollies on, and was engaged to Mariko to get money. He's also conspiring to have her killed for even more money]].

* Done in ''Film/NowVoyager''. Jerry's wife (who we never meet) is claimed by other characters to be abusive and manipulative - and their thirteen-year-old daughter ends up in therapy because of it. This justifies his affair with Charlotte, who was in a similarly abusive position with her mother. As this was the 1940s, showing adultery as sympathetic was shocking. In the end however, Charlotte and Jerry opt not to pursue a relationship for the good of his daughter Tina.

* In the Irish film ''Film/{{Intermission}}'', a middle-aged banker named Sam leaves his wife of fourteen years, Noeleen, for the younger Deidre (who is broken up from her own relationship to UnluckyEverydude John). Sam's rationale is that he and Deirdre "just clicked" while leaving Noeleen enraged and questioning her worth as a woman and wife. It's kind of hard to feel very sympathetic for Sam and Deirdre, as Sam did leave his wife without any warning and without even divorcing her first, while Deirdre doesn't even seem to contemplate her actions. Deirdre's [[DoesNotLikeMen jaded sister]] does frequently call them out on it though. In the end, Noeleen takes Sam back, but isn't going to be letting him forget his little transgression anytime soon, while Deirdre realizes that John really loved her and they're engaged by the end.
* Although none of the female characters in ''Film/MissPettigrewLivesForADay'' are actually married, they are frequently adulterous on their partners; however, their actions are generally presented in a negative light. Delysia is overall a sympathetic and likeable character, but it's made clear that her stringing along of three men for her own purposes is cynical, manipulative, and ultimately harmful as she's destroying her only real chance for happiness. Edythe, meanwhile, is shown as a selfishly opportunistic harpy, mostly because her affair seems to be entirely random while Delysia's are used to make her position in life more secure. One of the major themes of the movie is how tenuous successful women's positions are, and how much they rely on the men around them, so both characters can be seen as sympathetic.
* Tyler Perry's ''Film/TheFamilyThatPreys''. Andrea is constantly cheating on her husband with her boss William. Her husband loves her and only wants to help provide the income along with her. She berates him, humiliates him, and is potrayed completely unsympathetically as she tries to get closer to William who is a CEO and [[spoiler:would leave her at the drop of a hat.]]

* Francois the title character of ''Film/TheTallBlondManWithOneBlackShoe'' is having an affair with his best friend's wife (all three in the same orchestra) - he's made out to be sympathetic as he'd like to terminate it, but is too weak-willed to resist her aggressive advances. This remains the same in the American remake ''Film/TheManWithOneRedShoe''.

* The main conflict of ''Film/TheLedge'' deals with a LoveTriangle between the hero, Gavin, who is an atheist man, Joe, a [[TheFundamentalist Fundamentalist Christian]] and the latter's wife, Shana. Despite the fact that at the beginning Joe and Shana are shown to be [[HappilyMarried very happy with each other]], the film attempts to portray the affair in a good light, with Gavin rationalizing and justifying his seduction of Shana by saying that "she is too good for him" and that he is her "savior" from an oppressive life, this did not sit well with audiences.

* ''Film/ARoyalNightOut'' has the future Queen Elizabeth technically cheating on her fiancee - "he's abroad...and overseas doesn't count" - but she at first is only making a deal with Jack to find her sister lost in London during the VE Night celebrations. They spend most of the night running around the city looking for her, but it's clear that they did fall in love somewhat - or at least became friends. They share one parting kiss, fully aware that they're never going to see each other or [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain speak of it again]].

* ''Literature/MadameBovary'': Emma Bovary has it rough. Her husband loves her and adores her, but he's a stupid and naive guy who doesn't come even close to her intelligence and imagination, and cannot give her the fashionable life she craves, and he doesn't understand her at all. It's hard to judge Emma that she looks for affection elsewhere. She has two lovers in the course of the novel, but it's hardly good for her. Neither loves or cares for her as much as she cares for them, and both ultimately back off when things get serious. Keeping these relationships forced Emma to borrow money from a LoanShark, which lead to her ruining her life and the life of her family.
* In the ''Literature/HonorHarrington'' series, Hamish Alexander is married to the disabled Emily Alexander, who is practically seen as a saint by the population of Manticore. He visits prostitutes to satisfy his needs, and both his wife and society at large consider this to be perfectly acceptable. However, when he later falls in love with Honor, the rumors that they're having an affair (in truth, these are slander on the Government's part that turn out to be [[AccidentalTruth accurate]]) are horribly scandalous. [[spoiler: Emily, upon realizing that they're actually in love, responds first by getting angry, then dealing with the facts on the ground and accepting their affair, and later taking a hint from Honor's Grayson society and setting up an ExoticExtendedMarriage.]]

** In another episode "House of Monkeys" a woman has an affair with her father-in-law. However, both she ''and'' her husband are portrayed as utter twits, and their story ends with their mother/mother-in-law shouting at them: "if only you would just take your marriage by the scruff of its neck and ''make it work!''"

* Used in ''Series/SexAndTheCity'' where Carrie cheats on Aidan with Big, who happened to be married at the time. Aidan is not once portrayed as doing anything to "make her cheat", Carrie more that acknowledges that the affair was hurting everybody all around, and Big of all people is shown the one to be "wanting more out of life" due to his dissatisfaction with married life. "Everything we own is beige" is notes in lament. When Carrie admits the affair to her friends, she's actually ''hoping'' they'll tell her what an awful person she is. Aidan breaks up with her when she tells him, and though they later get back together the second break up (due to differing ideas about getting married) isn't portrayed as anyone's fault.

*** {{Deconstructed}} in one episode when Daphne finds out one of Niles' patients has fallen in love with Niles (through clinical transference). She panics and investigates the patient despite Niles warning her not to, since it could seriously jeopardize his practice if its was discovered her confidential medical notes were compromised. Daphne tells Niles that she was driven by fear that Niles was cheating. When Niles tries to tell her he would never have a mistress, Daphne notes that he was in love with her while he was married to ''two'' other women. She was "the other woman", so how would she know that Niles wouldn't have another "other woman" in his life. Niles tells her that while he was with Maris and Mel, he fantasized about Daphne. While with Daphne, [[OneTrueLove he fantasizes about Daphne]], which is how he knows he won't cheat on her.

** As is [[GrayAndGreyMorality appropriate to its name]], plays the sympathy of adultery off of both ends. The first season cliffhanger involves Meredith abruptly discovering that her boyfriend Derek (better known as [[FanNickname Doctor McDreamy]]) is actually married when his wife Addison flies in. The second season opener works under the assumption that he's done something horrible by getting involved with Meredith- until the very end, when a patient asks Addison how she can stand to be in the same room as Meredith when she slept with her husband. Addison is incredulous, and tells the patient that she cheated on Derek first and that was why he came to this hospital in the first place- to get away from her. She then sternly tells the patient that she owes Meredith an apology. As the season progresses, we also see that she holds Derek no ill will for the affair, and is perfectly willing to accept a divorce if he wants to continue seeing Meredith.

* In the series ''Series/TrueDetective'', Hart has a very bad tendency to cheat on his wife with much younger girls. He justifies this by claiming it's to let him work out the stresses from detective work without carrying them into his home, but the two affairs he has all but completely ruin his marriage. Rust is also of the opinion that it's an incredibly stupid thing to do, since Hart seems to also have a knack for choosing girls who are not entirely stable. Hart's first girlfriend is viewed by him as cheating on him when she starts dating another man, however she insists that she and Hart aren't in an exclusive relationship (she knows he's married) and she wants to look for a partner who she can eventually have as a husband. [[spoiler:After discovering that Hart is having his second affair, his wife cheats on him with Rust. This is portrayed somewhat sympathetically (she'd been faithful up until then and was clearly driven to despair by learning her husband was cheating) and somewhat unsympathetically (she explicitly only had sex with Rust because she knew it would anger Hart most when he was told, heavily pressured Rust into doing it, and insisted later the the entire thing was her idea and that Rust was "a good man"). Her affair also ended up being the one to end their marriage.]]
* One episode of ''Series/SurgicalSpirit'' has Neil Copeland having an affair with a nurse nobody likes. Copeland is portrayed as a man who made a genuine mistake- his marriage and children keep haunting him, but on the other hand, he genuinely likes the nurse. He eventually admits that he started the affair thinking that it would be fun, and he had no idea that he'd end up feeling so guilty. By the end of the episode, he realises that he has to end the affair and does so... by proxy, though. As for the nurse, most of the dislike for her didn't come from the fact that she was dating a married man, but rather because she [[FelonyMisdemeanor kept insisting on using a completely different system of organisation that nobody else used, thus slowing procedures significantly]], and she quits after realising [[StrawmanHasAPoint how toxic the workplace is.]]

* Then there's Ruper Holmes "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" The protagonist in the song is tired of his wife and looks for a new lover in the personal columns of the newspaper. He sees an ad he likes and responds to it, asking the woman to meet him at his favorite bar. When he sees her walk through the door, he recognizes her... to be his wife. They had both been looking for a new love and when they found out the "new person" was their spouse, they apparently decided to renew their life together. Happy ending.

* ''Theatre/MidlifeTheCrisisMusical'' has a few cases of adultery in its songs. It's all men cheating on women and are depicted as unsympathetic, of course, by the women in question in "He Got What He Deserves". The case in "I Quit", as recounted by the man, is slightly more ambiguous depending on the actor's portrayal as it's in the context of realizing that you aren't where you want in life and making a break from a harmful present situation.

* The big reveal in the free web VN ''Funeral'' is that [[spoiler:the protagonist was disgraced after being found out as not only a serial adulterer, but a SerialRapist when his various victims from his workplace came forward #metoo style, with devastating consequences for his family, who have never forgiven him for his actions and his lies, even after his death]].

* The cheater's cheating involves [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil coercion and out-and-out rape]]. Especially heinous if the cheater is a SerialRapist.

** Earl himself was on the opposite side of the problem years earlier, as he was having an affair with Sweet Johnny's live-in girlfriend. There was no ChocolateBaby, but Earl had to come clean because of the list. The problem is, Sweet Johnny has [[EasyAmnesia Anterograde Amnesia]], and is stuck in a GroundhogsDayLoop, so he assumes he's still with her (in reality, she couldn't deal with his amnesia anymore and walked out on him), and that his girlfriend's infidelity had just happened. Earl tries telling him about the affair repeatedly, only causing him pain anew every day, which leads to SJ attempting suicide. Eventually, Earl decides it's better that Sweet Johnny doesn't learn about the affair because of his condition.

* In the ''Series/{{Masterpiece}} MiniSeries ''Reckless'', a woman enters into an affair with a younger man in response to discovering her husband's infidelity. His affair is "bad", while theirs is the [[SympatheticAdulterer central love story!]]

** Steel is bound to trot this trope out in any of her books, depending on if the character is a hero or villain.