History Main / GoodAdulteryBadAdultery

* Sheer shallowness. Rather than giving any actual reason for an affair, they just do it because it [[TheHedonist feels good]]. Or they just don't like the way their spouse looks anymore.

* [[EscalatingWar The other party cheated first.]] If they were only MistakenForCheating and find out that their partner retaliated by doing it for real, expect a lot of heated discussion of this trope.

-->--''Literature/TheStateOfAffairs''

* In ''Film/TheWolverine'', the good adulterer [[spoiler: Logan, sleeps with Mariko, but he's a wounded soul and she's trapped in a loveless engagement]]. The bad adulterer[[spoiler: ,Noburo, is just getting his jollies on and was engaged to Mariko to get money. He's also conspiring to have her killed for even more money]].

* ''Music/BonJovi'': in the music video for “Always,” a pair of lovers mutually betray each other through one night stands. The adultery of the man is seen as frivolous (he sleeps with his partner’s friend out of opportunity), but the cheating of the woman is portayed more as an emotional response and an action that she clearly regrets afterwards. Although they reconcile, the man doesn’t handle his partner’s infidelity very gracefully and responds by [[DisproportinateRetribution blowing up]] [[BewilderingPu ishment the other other man’s apartment]], justifying the woman’s decision to leave him.

* In ''Film/{{Braveheart}},'' the [[EvilBrit English]] have quite a few bad cheaters, with their lords raping married (and non-married) Scottish women, and [[EvilOverlord King Longshanks]]'s sniveling son having an [[TransparentCloset obvious affair]] while ignoring the needs of his wife, Princess Isabella-- not to mention). On the other hand, Isabella then has a romantic affair with the heroic Scottish rebel William Wallace.

On a superficial level, in fact, the distinction between good adulterers and bad can be [[InformedWrongness entirely arbitrary]]. Most good writing, however, takes clarity and nuance into account, and there are many possible reasons why one adulterer can be seen as better than another.

* The cheater was forced into the arrangement, either against their will, or as [[ScarpiaUltimatum a guarantee to keep something terrible from happening to a loved one]].
* For the sake of the OneTruePairing. Especially obvious if both adulterers are long-term characters, but the individual being cheated on is [[RomanticFalseLead only in the show at all because they are married to one of the adulterers]].
* A couple still love each other but they are going through a rough spot, or they are "on a break." However the original relationship is not ''over'' over, so it's still portrayed as a kind of infidelity. Obviously this has a tendency to make the situation worse. Loneliness is often a huge factor in the cheater's motivations.
* The cheating is [[ComingOutStory with a member of the same sex]], unless the cheated on partner is also of the same sex.

* Lack of respect for the paramour. The paramour may be as much a victim of inexcusable deception as the cheated-upon partner. Or a paramour who knows about the cheating may be treated as an inferior or an object to be used, or strung along with empty promises of leaving the primary partner. Or the adulterer may deceive the paramour into thinking that the paramour is his only non-primary partner, when in reality the adulterer ReallyGetsAround and has many other lovers. (Points for hypocrisy when the paramour is knowingly participating in the deception, but is still outraged at being a victim of further deception.) The sympathetic adulterer, on the contrary, will seek as much as possible to have an undeceived paramour who is getting what they want from the relationship.

* The illicit relationship results in an unplanned pregnancy, or the transmission of an STI, or both.

[[folder:Comic Strips]]

** Bad: Elizabeth cheated on by her long-term boyfriend at college is treated as a great betrayal. Intriguingly, when she finally figures out what's going on and confronts him at the other woman's apartment, the other woman immediately turns around and cries "you pig! You're cheating on me!?"

[[folder:Film -- Live Action]]
* In ''Film/{{Braveheart}},'' the [[EvilBrit English]] have quite a few bad cheaters, with their lords raping married (and non-married) Scottish women, and [[EvilOverlord King Longshanks]]' sniveling son having an [[TransparentCloset obvious affair]] while ignoring the needs of his wife, Princess Isabella-- not to mention). On the other hand, Isabella then has a romantic affair with the heroic Scottish rebel William Wallace.

* Used in ''Film/{{Dodsworth}}''. Throughout the main part of the film, the wife, desperate to feel young, wealthy and attractive, pursues other men and lashes out at her husband whenever he implies any impropriety on her part; the film makes an effort to understand her state of mind, but she's still unsympathetic. The husband, meanwhile, winds up leaving her in the end for a much nicer woman, and it plays out as a triumphant moment.
* In ''Film/TheWolverine'', the good adulterer [[spoiler:Logan, sleeps with Mariko, but he's a wounded soul and she's trapped in a loveless engagement]]. The bad adulterer[[spoiler:, Noburo, is just getting his jollies on, and was engaged to Mariko to get money. He's also conspiring to have her killed for even more money]].
* ''Film/LittleChildren'' fits this mold as well. Sarah's husband is shown to be rather perverse, using internet pornography and fetishes to get his kicks and ignoring Sarah's emotional and sexual needs; so her cheating on him may be seen as acceptable. Brad, however, is a stay-at-home father who seems to have latent resentment over his wife's control over the money, and run of the household. But, Brad's wife does not commit any major indiscretions against him, with the exception of being somewhat distant to his feelings of personal inadequacies; so Brad cheating on her is somewhat less sympathetic. However, one of the central themes of the film is the fact that basically good people can do very bad things, and that social mores and values often don't factor in well in real world situations.

* In ''Film/TheCountOfMonteCristo2002'', Mercedes sleeps with Edmond, who she had been engaged to before his arrest and apparent death, was still in love with after all these years, and [[spoiler:was the true father of her son]]. It's also implied to be the only time she strayed from her husband in nearly two decades of marriage. Her husband Fernand, on the other hand, had casual affairs with ''at least'' four other women since getting married, some of them already married themselves, and on one occasion killed his mistress' husband in a duel when he objected.
* ''Film/ARoyalAffair'': Neither Christian nor Caroline are faithful to each other. Christian's numerous dalliances with prostitutes is treated less sympathetically than Caroline's affair with Struensee. At some points Christian brings prostitutes into the palace where Caroline can see, humiliating her in front of the court. Caroline puts up with Christian's wild and sometimes cruel behavior for years with little in the way of support and companionship, until she falls in love with Struensee. They also try to keep their affair discreet (though everyone figures it out eventually). Caroline passing off her daughter with Struensee as Christian's is treated as a necessary act to protect her children, and the lovers are punished extremely harshly for their affair in their end.

[[folder:Literature]]
* ''Literature/MagpieMurders'':''Moonflower Murders''. Bad adultery is Susan's considered affair with Craig (though she doesn't actually do it), and Melissa's in-story affair with [[spoiler:Leonard, who murdered her to conceal it]]; good adultery is [[spoiler:Cecily cheating on the sociopathic Aiden, who eventually murdered ''her'', with Stefan, and even getting pregnant by him and raising the baby with Aiden - since it meant that Roxana still had a father when Cecily was murdered and Aiden committed suicide.]]
* ''Literature/TheSilerianTrilogy'': Ronall constantly cheats on Elelar with random women, and is an abusive drunk. Elelar also sleeps with many other men, though only to gain information for LaResistance and is mostly portrayed sympathetically as she's stuck with him as her husband.

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{Blackpool}}'': Ripley's affairs are casual sex, while Natalie's is about love. Ripley eventually tells her to go be with the man she loves.

* ''Series/FreshOffTheBoat'': Next-door neighbors Marvin and Honey Ellis' affair is seen as either, depending which side of the conflict you're on. [[SympatheticAdulterer Marvin had issues with his last wife Sarah long before he started having an affair with Honey]], which ultimately led to him divorcing her and marrying his mistress. Yet, most of the neighborhood wives still vilify Honey and make her a pariah in the cul-de-sac community.
* ''Series/{{Friends}}'': While Ross' reasons for cheating on Rachel were understandable if not condoned it was played for drama, a few episodes later Joey slept with a married woman just because he wanted to and that was played for laughs.

[[folder:Myths and Legends]]

[[folder:Theatre]]
* ''Theatre/DianaTheMusical'': Diana and Charles are mutually unfaithful in their marriage, but Diana's infidelity is portrayed as the result of years of mistreatment by Charles, who began cheating on her with his longtime mistress very early in their marriage. When their affairs come to light the public is more sympathetic towards Diana and see it as an indictment of the royal family.

[[folder:Video Games]]

[[folder:Visual Novels]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* {{Discussed}} in WebAnimation/OverlySarcasticProductions' video on Myth/ArthurianLegend. Red notes that most modern Arthuriana focuses on the Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot LoveTriangle, and that one of the men is usually vilified to fit this trope.

[[folder:Webcomics]]

** Elizabeth caught her husband screwing the head of their homeowner's association, and she responded by having an affair with Fisk before confronting her unfaithful husband and demanding a divorce. For worse, they had been attempting to have a baby at the time which made he angrily rant to a friend about how he'd been wasting it all on the other woman.
** When Lucy is in college, her roommate, Rachel, frequently cheated on her boyfriend while expecting to marry him someday. This is treated as bad adultery, since the boyfriend is a sweet guy. Lucy having the boyfriend cheat on Rachel with her is good adultery, because Lucy really loves him and is the protagonist. Granted she is faithful to him and they eventually get married, but a later storyline that has her debate whether or not to cheat on him with her other roommate's boyfriend partially shows her as sympathetic because she feels unsure about limiting herself to one lover. The only reason it's treated as bad is because one of her friends points out that she'd be throwing away a good, loving relationship for a fling.
** Fisk's best friend in grade school has parents in an obviously dysfunctional marriage, his father strikes up a friendship with Fisk's (widowed) mother that quickly turns into an affair that leads to divorce. The friend's mother moves away and takes her son with him, causing Fisk to hate his mom's new boyfriend; however years later he forgives him, though doesn't admit how immature he was being at the time.

* ''Theatre/{{Diana}}'': Diana and Charles are mutually unfaithful in their marriage, but Diana's infidelity is portrayed as the result of years of mistreatment by Charles, who began cheating on her with his longtime mistress very early in their marriage. When their affairs come to light the public is more sympathetic towards Diana and see it as an indictment of the royal family.

* ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'': In episode[[{{Recap/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnitS8E9Choreographed}} Choreographed]] Wesley Masoner and Naomi Cheales are married lovers, but Naomi is treated much more charitably by both the story and the detectives. While Wesley was a smug serial cheater with a bit of a violent streak, Naomi only cheated with Wesley and was driven to do so because she felt suffocated by her husband Glenn's insecurities. She also reveals how she didn't like Wesley boasting to Glenn about their affair--referring to Naomi as "Jen" while doing so--and seems genuinely remorseful when Glenn finds out.

* The evolution of "Literature/TristanAndIseult" shows this trope in action. In the early versions, the title characters were treated sympathetically (somewhat justified since they accidentally drank a LovePotion), but so was the cuckolded King Mark. Later writers, apparently displeased with this moral ambiguity, [[AdaptationalVillainy turned Mark]] into a DirtyCoward who rapes and murders his own niece, so now it's ''okay'' that Iseult is sleeping with his nephew.[[note]]To be fair, since the story was thoroughly integrated into Myth/ArthurianLegend by this point, it can be argued that this change was also to make him a {{Foil}} for Arthur, who [[{{Expy}} took his role]] as the sympathetic cuckold to Lancelot/Guinevere.[[/note]] [[CharacterRerailment Modern retellings sometimes go back to the nicer King Mark]].