History Main / ButNotTooGay

* One Website/TikTok video mocks the concept and how it's used in 2010s American banking commercials. The spoof shows various couples who have various onscreen moments of physical intimacy...and one gay couple, who is only allowed to stand next to each other and smile at the camera. By the end of the commercial, the couple is royally pissed at the narrator for downplaying their relationship and forces them to acknowledge the couple once, and the narrator reluctantly obliges in a backhanded way (by finally saying they also cater...to "f**gots").

* One Website/TikTok video mocks the concept and how it's used in 2010s American banking commercials. The spoof shows various couples who have various onscreen moments of physical intimacy...and one gay couple, who is only allowed to stand next to each other and smile at the camera. By the end of the commercial, the couple is royally pissed at the narrator for downplaying their relationship and forces them to acknowledge the couple once, and the narrator reluctantly obliges in a backhanded way (by calling gays a a slur).

* One Website/TikTok video mocks the concept and how it's used in 2010s American banking commercials. The spoof shows various couples who have various onscreen moments of physical intimacy...and one gay couple, who is only allowed to stand next to each other and smile at the camera. By the end of the commercial, the couple is royally pissed at the narrator for downplaying their relationship and forces them to acknowledge the couple once, and the narrator reluctantly obliges in a backhanded way (by calling gays a a slur)

* ''{{Series/Vikings}}'' had Lagertha enter a relationship with Astrid, a younger woman in season 4. Creator Micheal Hirst was very adamant in the behind the scenes material to explain that Lagertha was not gay. Astrid is also shown as to having relationships with men too, including Lagertha's son Björn who is her own age. The sex scene with Björn is much more explicit than the one with Lagertha. Lagertha also mainly lust after and has relationships with men through out the rest of the series.
** ''[[{{Series/Norsemen}} Passionate sex with another woman? Doesn't get more gay than that does it?]]''

See also GetBackInTheCloset for media ''with'' gay love content, but it is just rated higher than media with heterosexual love scenes and the like; and ClosetGay, where a character is hiding their orientation (which can be justification for this trope.) There is some overlap with HideYourLesbians and GayRomanticPhase. ButNotTooBi is a related but distinct trope most commonly manifested as a character who ''says'' they're bisexual but they never pursue a relationship with the a person of the same gender. See HaveIMentionedIAmGay when a show with supposedly gay characters doesn't ever reach even ''this'' level of physical affection between them.

** ''[[Series/Norsemen Passionate sex with another woman? Doesn't get more gay than that does it?]]''

* In ''VisualNovel/MysticMessenger'', the female PC can get close to her choice of four men or a woman. Each of the men get kissing scenes and love confessions with her, but the woman doesn't and there's nothing in her route that even confirms that she and the PC are or become anything more than [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship really good friends]]. Some DLC ''do'' make it a bit clearer that they have romantic feelings for each other, but they still never get a full kiss or love confession.

* ''Series/ModernFamily'' was criticized by many when gay couple Mitchell and Cameron (pictured above) hugged each other after a reunion at an airport, in stark contrast to straight couple Phil and Claire. Of course, some noted that none of the couples seem overly affectionate with each other but this was a big sticking point. In the second season, it's revealed that Mitchell is adverse to being affectionate in public. They finally do kiss, but it's a small peck discreetly played on the background, and they kiss again in the next episode in a way more visible and casual scene.

** Gay couple Noah and Luke actually had a fan instituted ''countdown'' in between their kisses. They went 211 days in between two kisses and it took them 514 days from their first meeting to get their first love scene. This is unusual, particularly in the SoapOpera media where romance and love scenes happen frequently.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Arcane}}'': One of the rare [[https://screenrant.com/arcane-season-2-caitlyn-vi-romance-relationship-problem/ complaints]] against the show is that while Caitlyn and Vi become rather deeply emotionally attached to each other and various people behind the show have [[WordOfGay made it clear on social media]] that the two are interested in each other in a very gay way, strictly speaking everything on screen could be interpreted platonically. Meanwhile the show has no problem with showing a straight sex scene between Jayce and Mel.

* ''Film/FantasticBeastsTheCrimesOfGrindelwald'' studiously dances around the specifics of the past relationship between Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald. While J.K. Rowling made a WordOfGay statement in 2007 that the two were lovers when they were young men, people unfamiliar with the RealLife controversy would likely assume that they were just BloodBrothers in-universe.

See also GetBackInTheCloset for media ''with'' gay love content, but it is just rated higher than media with heterosexual love scenes and the like; and ClosetGay, where a character is hiding their orientation (which can be justification for this trope.) There is some overlap with HideYourLesbians. ButNotTooBi is a related but distinct trope most commonly manifested as a character who ''says'' they're bisexual but they never pursue a relationship with the a person of the same gender. See HaveIMentionedIAmGay when a show with supposedly gay characters doesn't ever reach even ''this'' level of physical affection between them.

* Despite the controversy it caused, even from the likes of Creator/GeorgeTakei who argued against portraying Sulu as gay despite Takei himself being out and proud for decades, ''Film/StarTrekBeyond'' only shows Sulu deboarding at a space station reuniting with his partner (husband?) and daughter. That's literally all that happens. It's a mere twelve seconds long and the only one Sulu kisses is their daughter.

Okay, let's say you're done [[HideYourLesbians hiding your lesbians]] and you don't want to [[BuryYourGays bury any gays.]] You want to feature a gay character on your show or, hell, make them the starring character! But what if they get a LoveInterest? Will they flirt? Kiss? Hold hands? Have anything resembling or implying a sex life? Gay characters enjoy increased visibility in media and numerous positive portrayals. However, there is a bit of a DoubleStandard regarding gay love portrayals and love scenes and the like.

* ''Series/BrooklynNineNine'': Captain Holt and his husband Kevin have never kissed throughout the entire series. [[PlayedForLaughs However]], they're both such hilariously uptight stoic dorks that even a handshake would count as a hot-and-heavy makeout session.

* ''Literature/KushielsLegacy'': Despite the series taking place in a society where homosexual love is celebrated alongside heterosexual love, gay characters either die, [[spoiler: like Alcuin, Roland, and Delaunay]] or live in the closet/straight marriages of convenience [[spoiler: like Lucius and Ricchardo, though neither are from Terre d'Ange and would be disinherited/slandered for being gay.]] The one gay relationship that lasts happens in the OffstageWaitingRoom [[spoiler: with Ti-Phillipe and Hughes]]. This tends to spark off a lot of debate in the fanbase. Bisexuals (this includes two of the three protagonists) largely survive.

** In ''ComicBook/Runaways2015'', despite the miniseries being written by an openly gay woman and featuring a lesbian version of ComicBook/{{Jubilee}} as the main character, the only actual lesbian kiss in the miniseries occurs in shadow.

* Downplayed in ''VideoGame/TheLastOfUsPartII'': While [[PlayerCharacter Ellie]] and her girlfriend, [[BadassIsraeli Dina]] are quite affectionate, even exchanging a few passionate kisses, their sex scene is quite tame: you see them make out and take their clothes off, then FadeToBlack, and you see them lying on the couch wearing bras and boxer shorts. In comparison, the sex scene between [[VillainProtagonist Abby]] and her [[SexWithTheEx sort-of]] boyfriend, [[TokenGoodTeammate Owen]] that happens much later in the story is much more explicit.

Okay, let's say you're done [[HideYourLesbians hiding your lesbians]] and you don't want to [[BuryYourGays bury any gays.]] You want to feature a gay character on your show or, hell, make him or her the starring character! But what if they get a LoveInterest? Will they flirt? Kiss? Hold hands? Have anything resembling or implying a sex life? Gay characters enjoy increased visibility in media and numerous positive portrayals. However, there is a bit of a DoubleStandard regarding gay love portrayals and love scenes and the like.

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[[folder:Live-Action Television]]

* A recurring problem on ''Series/TrueBlood''. Straight characters either explicitly have sex or we see them lying in bed after having clearly done the deed. Meanwhile, the gay relationships are uncharacteristically chaste. It becomes disturbing when you think of how there have been three explicit rape scenes, and ''that'' is somehow more okay than a same-gender couple having consensual sex. The show defied this this trope in the final season. When it was decided that Jessica's boyfriend James would leave her for Lafayette, James' actor Luke Grimes refused to act out a same-gender romance. The character was [[TheOtherDarrin promptly recast]] with Creator/NathanParsons and the storyline went along as planned, sex and all.

* A recurring problem on ''Series/TrueBlood''. Straight characters either explicitly have sex or we see them lying in bed after having clearly done the deed. Meanwhile, the gay relationships are uncharacteristically chaste. It becomes disturbing when you think of how there have been three explicit rape scenes, and ''that'' is somehow more okay than a same-gender couple having consensual sex. The show defied this this trope in the final season. When it was decided that Jessica's boyfriend James would leave her for Lafayette, James' actor Luke Grimes refused to act out a same-gender romance. The character was [[TheOtherDarrin promptly recast]] with Nathan Parsons and the storyline went along as planned, sex and all.

* From ''{{ComicStrip/Luann}}'', Prudence the self-described "lesbian thespian." The subject of her being gay has only really come up twice: to reassure [[ClingyJealousGirl Luann]] that she wasn't a romantic rival for Quill's affections, and to warn Les off from his [[IncompatibleOrientation doomed crush on her.]] But she's never portrayed as having a romantic interest in any woman who's appeared in the strip, not even as an offhand comment by her.

* The now discontinued sitcom ''Series/TheClass'' has a very jarring scene where one half of a gay couple finds out that his partner [[ComedicSociopathy sabotaged a school application for a friend because they didn't want to spend more time with her]]. The punchline to this is his reaction to this: exclaiming "I've never loved you more!" and then ... give his partner a hug and a peck on the cheek. Shortly afterwards, he was PutOnABus, leaving his partner free to make plenty of comments about his sexuality and their love life without having to actually show anything.