History Literature / HowNotToWriteANovel

* {{Padding}}: "The Second Argument in the Laundromat" (using more than one scene to establish a single fact), "The Redundant Tautology" (the author repeating him or herself), and "The Skipping Record" (a character's thoughts repeating themselves).[[invoked]]

** ''Folie adieu'' is used to refer to a sudden ToneShift ShockingSwerve at the end, causing crippling MoodWhiplash that makes the novel unsellable. It is a pun on a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folie_%C3%A0_deux folie a deux]], a "madness shared by two," and translates as "Goodbye madness".

* CrapsackWorld: "The Diane Arbus Retrospective". They discourage the [[DarknessInducedAudienceApathy excessive]] application of this trope where everybody you meet is a miserable degenerate.

* DeusAngstMachina: [[invoked]]"Compassion Fatigue". Strongly discouraged; a character whose life is nothing but a parade of misery and misfortune is difficult to sympathize with, and will induce DarknessInducedAudienceApathy pretty quickly.

-->This particular blunder is known as ''deus ex machina'', [[GratuitousFrench which is French for]] "[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Are you fucking kidding me?]]"

-->Bare naked dialogue will eventually plunge the reader into a nightmarish science fiction scenario in which [[BrainInAJar two brains are conversing telepathically while suspended in a lightless tank of nutrient-rich fluid]] (if you are in fact writing a novel about two brains conversing telepathically while suspended in a lightless tank of nutrient-rich fluid, [[JustifiedTrope carry on]]).

* MarySue[=/=]MartyStu[=/=]AuthorAvatar (but not so much that last one): "I Complete Me." They ''do'' say that it's perfectly acceptable, but when your character starts exhibiting Sue-like tendencies... well, don't pick out that outfit to wear on Oprah quite yet.[[invoked]]

* EmphasizeEverything: "I Mean This!! It's Important!!!" Needless to say, they advise against it. See BoldInflation below.

* MoodWhiplash: Discouraged in various forms. "'And One Ring to Bind Them!' Said the Old Cowpoke" deals with an abrupt GenreShift with zero foreshadowing. "The Underpants Gnomes" is for when the writer suddenly skips to the end, the protagonist's problems having been solved off-screen. "Dear Penthouse Letters" is about the importance of setting up sex scenes properly.

* WriteWhatYouKnow: Unusually for a guide to creative writing these tropes are averted (with the caveat that they encourage extensive research about topics with which the author is unfamiliar), but they also note that unskilled writers who stray too far from writing about the sorts of people they know end up basing their characters on stock characters and archetypes which may unintentionally offend (such as the MagicalNegro or CampGay). [[invoked]]

* PurpleProse: "The Puffer Fish", "Mouth-Watering World-Class Prose", which reads like advertisements or blurbs, "Gibberish for Art's sake", which purposely tries to sound like the classic authors did. It also gives an example of "The Purple Blue Prose", which is a sexual version. And "The Crepitating Parasol," in which that [[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap fundamental line between "clever" and "stupid"]] is crossed due to [[ViewersAreGeniuses suffocating the prose with obscure references and jokes]].

** In an AliceAndBob sort of way, they use several characters multiple times: Chip; Jack and Synthya; Music/LeonardCohen; Joe and Melinda, [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast the evil Nefaro]], [[SantaClaus Santa]]... there are many, occasionally unrelated. In addition to those, we have the phrase "medium-sized breasts" (or "perfect breasts" for variety), misuse of the word "ironically," mistranslations of "DeusExMachina," and several other small jokes that you wouldn't get if you started reading a random segment. There are also many, many one-off {{Call Back}}s and {{Call Forward}}s.

* AccidentalInnuendo: "The Deafening Hug" features a scene with a brother and sister hugging. The brother describes his sister in such unintentionally erotic terms that the reader can only infer [[IncestSubtext incestuous subtext]].[[invoked]]
* AnachronicOrder: They have no problem with this trope at the level of the broader form and structure of the novel (even recommending the use of InMediasRes if the chronological opening of the story is rather slow), but provide a example of it used rather poorly in "Linearity Shrugged", in which shifts in chronology and subject matter happen after every other sentence, making the narrative impossible to follow.
* AnachronismStew: "Xeno's iPod" for objects that just "appear", "The Vegan Viking" for anachronistic attitudes and beliefs, and "Yo, Charlemagne, how dost thy big war?" for modern-sounding dialogue in a historical setting.

* ApocalypticLog: "'And One Ring to Bind Them!' Said the Old Cowpoke" jarringly morphs into one.

* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: Its fine as long as the author is doing it on purpose. ''Doublespeak'' highlights how easily this is done by accident.

* TheWarOnStraw: "The Fearless Exposé" features a StrawFeminist neighbour. Also crops up in the example for "The Educational Film", wherein everyone the hippie protagonist meets isn't just opposed to her beliefs, but is a cruel bully who goes out of their way to humiliate and attack the innocent, angelic protagonist.

** In "El Foreigner", a Spanish speaker reprimands a Korean's (supposed) ForeignLanguageTirade by saying, "Hijo de puta! Hold the tongue!" "Hijo de puta" is Spanish for "[[HypocriticalHumor son of a Whore]]".

* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: Subverted: While it's a tongue-in-cheek guide to writing a bad novel, the actual purpose is to teach the writer how to avoid the obvious mistakes and (hopefully) produce a good one.

* RunningGag: In an AliceAndBob sort of way, they use several characters multiple times: Chip; Jack and Synthya; Music/LeonardCohen; Joe and Melinda, [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast the evil Nefaro]], [[SantaClaus Santa]]... there are many, occasionally unrelated. In addition to those, we have the phrase "medium-sized breasts" (or "perfect breasts" for variety), misuse of the word "ironically," mistranslations of "DeusExMachina," and several other small jokes that you wouldn't get if you started reading a random segment. There are also many, many one-off {{Call Back}}s and {{Call Forward}}s.

* ShapedLikeItself: ''The Sight Gag'' (In which there is a sight gag.)

* PetHomosexual: Discouraged in "Priscilla, Queen of the Clichés". Specifically, they note that many amateur writers seem to believe that once they've established that a given character is gay, the stereotypical catty, bitchy dialogue will write itself — which is, to say the least, rarely the case.

* LikeRealityUnlessNoted: Is given as the reason why research and thorough world building are needed for historical fiction, sci-fi or fantasy.

!!Examples given:

* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: ''"The ranks of the would-be novelists are filled with Holocaust deniers, men who question whether women have souls, followers of Ayn Rand..."''

* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: "The Puffer Fish" and "The Crepitating Parasol" (using big words the reader doesn't know in a failed attempt to sound clever) and "The Crepuscular Handbag" [[DelusionsOfEloquence (using big words you]] ''[[DelusionsOfEloquence don't]]'' [[DelusionsOfEloquence know in a failed attempt to sound clever).]]

* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: "The Puffer Fish" and "The Crepitating Parasol" (using big words the reader doesn't know in a failed attempt to sound clever) and "The Crepuscular Handbag" [[DelusionsOfEloquence (using big words]] ''[[DelusionsOfEloquence you]]'' [[DelusionsOfEloquence don't know in a failed attempt to sound clever)]].

* TropesAreTools: They concede that most tropes, in the hands of skilled writers and in the right context, can be used effectively and well. They merely point out those that have a tendency to be used badly. In the introduction, they also note this in the context of the numerous other self-help books about creative writing already available, and how their book differs from these:

* {{Narm}}: All of the bad writing examples are [[SoBadItsGood intentionally over-the-top bad]], but the [[http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/0061357952/sr=8-1/qid=1261999387/ref=dp_image_0?ie=UTF8&n=916520&s=books&qid=1261999387&sr=8-1 chunk of text on the cover]] takes the cake. [[invoked]]

-->This particular blunder is known as ''deus ex machina'', [[PardonMyFrench which is French for]] "[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Are you fucking kidding me?]]"

* FauxlosophicNarration: "The Overture" — ''Wherein the prologue is a brief guide to the meaning of life''. Discouraged.

* RedHerring: They encourage these ("The RedHerring on the Mantelpiece") to give a novel more depth, though they warn authors to be careful of unintentional examples (see WhatHappenedToTheMouse).

** However, the authors do concede that an occasional adverb can be helpful when it adds nuance that written dialogue alone may not convey. They comment that "'I love you, all right' he said jokingly" is worlds apart from "'I love you, all right' he said coldly." But adverbs that add no meaning ("lovingly") or are unusual and distracting ("lambently") are best left off.

* SceneryPorn: "Vacation Slideshow" features endless descriptions of exotic landscapes, with no bearing on characterization and story. The trope is discouraged if it goes on for too long and does not add any substance.

* ShownTheirWork: "The Research Paper." "...But the glories of the Calvin cycle, and the further intricacies of the Krebs cycle, essential to cellular respiration, were little comfort now that...". While they encourage doing proper research on any subject an author wants to include in their story, the author should not show off to the extent of confusing most readers.

* ThePlotReaper: "Goodbye, Cruel Reader!" They say it's a bad idea and should only be used when absolutely necessary, and only when the writer has used ChekhovsGun to establish a heart condition/suicidal fixation/unsafe building etc.

* PoliticallyCorrectHistory: Discouraged in "The Vegan Viking" and, to a lesser extent, in "Hello, I Am the Medieval Knight!". While it's usually done to avoid Values Dissonance, giving your 14th-century character neoliberal attitudes towards homosexuality (or neoconservative attitudes towards economics) will undermine your efforts to persuade readers that your story is taking place in the 14th century.
* PostModernism: "Hello! I Am the Author!" They recommend not trying it because, even though some people manage to pull it off, it's really, really hard to do. This includes using: