History Funny / WitchesAbroad

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* Nanny, hopeless cat lover, saying that they aren't transforming Greebo in person, but in human person.

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* Granny being angry at an alligator, which just ate her hat. She then proceeds to WhipItGood. With a ''snake''. It's hard not imagining it going pleading-puppy-eyed at her, begging to be let go.
** [[AmbiguousSyntax The snake, or the gator?]] [[TakeAThirdOption Maybe both?]]

* The narration introduces a meeting among the witches with the usual gravity and gravitas, wondering what eldritch discussions are taking place and what unanswerable questions are being answered, then...

* "You mean ''everyone'' brought potato salad?"

* Unintentional example: the Italian translation of the book is missing a few pages. Thus, in one page, the witches celebrate that now Emberella won't be forced to go to the ball, as there's no footmen, no dress, no carriage, and no horses available; they then decide to go celebrating Samedi Nuit Mort, with Nanny [[TemptingFate claiming that "There's a chance on a million" that things will go wrong]]. [[GilliganCut The next page]], [[NoodleIncident Emberella is standing next to the carriage's ruins, with the footmen and the horses nowhere in sight; (initially) no explanation of how they got restored or replaced; and the witches approaching her]]. And then Greebo [[SuddenlyVoiced talks to Nanny]], and it's only until he decides to get into the ball that we get to read a description of his new [[BalefulPolymorph human]] [[NineitesAntiHero form]].

* Unintentional example: the Italian translation of the book is missing a few pages. Thus, in one page we get the witches celebrating that now Emberella won't be forced to go to the ball, as there's no footmen, no dress, no carriage, and no horses; they decide to go celebrating Samedi Nuit Mort; and [[TemptingFate Nanny claims that "There's a chance on a million" that things will go wrong]]. [[GilliganCut You turn the page]] to read about [[NoodleIncident Emberella standing next to the carriage's ruins, with the footmen and the horses nowhere in sight]]; Emberella telling the witches [[NightmareFuel how Lilith turned the human footmen into beetles and stepped on them]]; and Nanny Ogg telling Greebo to "put itdown" and Greebo [[WhamLine answering with a "Mine! Mine!"]].

** [[AmbiguousSyntax The snake, or the croc?]] [[TakeAThirdOption Maybe both?]]

* The ystic Horseman's Word used by Jason Ogg (and later Granny Weatherwax) to tame even the wildest of horses: "Well, ma'am, what happens is, I gets hold of 'un and smacks 'un between the eyes with hammer before 'un knows what's 'appening, and then I whispers in his ear, I sez 'Cross me, you bugger, and I'll have [[GroinAttack thy goolies on t'anvil,]] thou knows I can'."

* The story of Bear Mountain's name. It was a bare mountain, but nobody ever bothered to change the name because of the profit from tourists buying maps, souvenirs, trinkets, maps, and hiring guides to help them find the bears.

-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' That's the biggest cock I've ever seen!
-->(''{{beat}}'')

-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' ''What with growing up next to a chicken farm'' is what I was about to say next!

* Jason Ogg being worried about his mother and Granny Weatherwax running into the 'fearsome wild beasts in foreign parts' ... because some of those poor beasts are nearly extinct.

* Almost any time the Duc's title comes up, because the witches think [[{{Duck}} it's pronounced "duck"]]. There's this prince, who's a duck, who's really a frog...

-->'''Granny Weatherwax:''' She ain't never had no proper upbringing.

-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' That's the biggest cock I ever did see, and I seen a lot of them.

-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' ''Growing up next to a chicken farm'' is what I was about to say!

* Almost any time the Duc's title comes up, because the witches think it's pronounced "duck". There's this prince, who's a duck, who's really a frog...

* No vampires have ever risen from the ''cat''.

* No vampires have ever risen from the ''cat''.

* Granny being angry at an alligator, which just ate her hat. She then proceeds to WhipItGood. With a ''snake''. It's hard not imagining it going pleading-puppy-eyed at her, begging to be let go.

-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' That's the biggest cock I ever did see.

* Nanny knowing how to start spelling 'banana' but not knowing how to stop. So she writes it as 'banananana.'

--->Nanny Ogg: That's the biggest cock I ever did see.
--->({{Beat}})
--->Granny Weatherwax: She ain't never had no proper upbringing.
--->Nanny Ogg: ''Growing up next to a chicken farm'' is what I was about to say!

--->Nanny Ogg: ''Growing up next to a chicken farm'' is what I was about to say!

* Nanny knowing how to start spelling 'banana' but not knowing how to stop. So she writes it as 'banananana.'

->"But you have to know how to use it," said Nanny Ogg. "Old Gertie Simmons used to have a squint and she was always putting the evil influence on the end of her own nose. You can't have people thinkin' that if you upsets a witch she curses and mutters and then her own nose drops off."