Line #14 Funny/WitchesAbroad


1	'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy.]] Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
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3	* The story of Bear Mountain's name. It was a bare mountain, but nobody ever bothered to change the name because of the profit from tourists buying maps, souvenirs, trinkets, and hiring guides to help them hunt the bears.
4	* The narration introduces a meeting among the witches with considerable gravitas, wondering what eldritch discussions are taking place and what unanswerable questions are being asked, then...
5	-->''"You mean ''everyone'' brought potato salad?"''
6	* There's nothing wrong with a good squint. Looks good on a witch.
7	-->"But you have to know how to use it," said Nanny Ogg. "Old Gertie Simmons used to have a squint and she was always putting the evil influence on the end of her own nose. You can't have people thinkin' that if you upsets a witch she curses and mutters and then her own nose drops off."
8	* Whenever Nanny tries to talk in foreign languages.
9	* Nanny knows how to ''start'' spelling 'banana', but not how to stop. Thus: 'banananana.'
10	* One of Magrat's martial arts books is authored by a certain Grand Master Lobsang Dibbler of Ankh-Morpork.
11	* Granny and Nanny meet Mrs. Gogol and her black cockerel, Legba.
12	-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' That's the biggest cock I've ever seen, and I've seen a few in my time
13	-->[[{{beat}} Mrs. Gogol raised one disapproving eyebrow.]]
14	-->'''Granny Weatherwax:''' She never had no proper upbringing.
15	-->'''Nanny Ogg:''' What with growing up next to a chicken farm and all ''is what I was about to say next!''
16	* Granny being angry at an alligator, which just ate her hat. She then proceeds to use a ''snake'' as [[SnakeWhip a whip]]. (Who promptly decides it's just along for the ride, then slithers away.)
17	* Vampires have risen from the grave, the tomb or the crypt... but none have ever risen from the ''cat''.
18	* Almost any time the Duc's title comes up, because the witches think [[{{Duck}} it's pronounced "duck"]]. There's this prince, who's a duck, who's really a frog...
19	* Jason Ogg being worried about his mother and Granny Weatherwax running into the 'fearsome wild beasts in foreign parts' ... because some of those poor beasts are nearly extinct.
20	* The Mystic Horseman's Word used by Jason Ogg (and later Granny Weatherwax) to tame even the wildest of horses: "Well, ma'am, what happens is, I gets hold of 'un and smacks 'un between the eyes with hammer before 'un knows what's 'appening, and then I whispers in his ear, I sez 'Cross me, you bugger, and I'll have [[GroinAttack thy goolies on t'anvil,]] thou knows I can'."
21	* Unintentional example: the Italian translation of the book is missing a few pages. Thus, in one page, the witches celebrate that now Emberella won't be forced to go to the ball, as there's no footmen, no dress, no carriage, and no horses available; they then decide to go celebrating Samedi Nuit Mort, with Nanny [[TemptingFate claiming that "There's a chance on a million" that things will go wrong]]. [[GilliganCut The next page]], [[NoodleIncident Emberella is standing next to the carriage's ruins, with the footmen and the horses nowhere in sight; (initially) no explanation of how they got restored or replaced; and the witches approaching her]]. And then Greebo talks to Nanny, and it's only until he decides to get into the ball that we get to read a description of his new [[ForcedTransformation human]] [[NinetiesAntiHero form]].
22	* Casanunda shows up at the ball, as a Royal Guard, to try and seduce Nanny Ogg.
23	** Later, when she's in prison, Nanny Ogg asks him how he's a Royal Guard, the rest of whom are at least 6 feet tall, despite being a dwarf.
24	--->'''Casanunda:''' [[RefugeInAudacity I lied about my height]], Mrs. Ogg. I'm a world-famous liar.
25	--->'''Nanny Ogg:''' Is that true?
26	--->'''Casanunda:''' [[BlatantLies No.]]
27	--->'''Nanny Ogg:''' What about you being the world's greatest lover?
28	--->'''Casanunda:''' Well, maybe I'm only No. 2, but I try harder.
29	* During their night at an inn, Magrat hears a commotion coming from outside the cottage, and she goes to tell the other witches about it. She enters their room, and they're still asleep and snoring; the noise is described as such:
30	-->It was no longer the full-nosed roaring of a forty-winks catnapper, but the well-paced growling of someone who decided to make a night of it.
31	* Magrat, with help of Granny's hypnosis (which just instills bit of confidence in her), easily charming all men at ball. Granny and Nanny are stunned.
32	* Nanny, hopeless cat lover, insisting that they aren't transforming Greebo into a person, but just into a ''human'' person.
33	* The running gag at the ball of everyone being oblivious as to the mysterious stranger who talks [[AC:[[TheGrimReaper like this]]]].
34	* Later on, at the climax, Nanny and Magrat are talking about how they're Granny's AchillesHeel, only in Discworld terms, so it's Tsortean, and Nanny's forgotten.
35	-->'''Nanny:''' That's going to be nagging at me all night, now.\
36	'''Passing Stranger:''' '''THE HEEL.'''\
37	'''Nanny:''' Oh, right. Thanks.\
38	'''Passing stranger:''' '''ANY TIME.'''\
39	''(he continues past them)''\
40	''(long pause)''\
41	'''Magrat:''' He had a good mask on, didn't he?\
42	''(Nanny and Magrat [[DelayedReaction look each other in the eye to confirm what they just saw]])''\
43	'''Magrat:''' I think we should run back up and -\
44	'''Nanny:''' I think we should walk.
45	* The Gollum cameo. Just, the Gollum cameo.
46	* The BrickJoke about Magrat studying martial arts (from a Master Lobsang Dibbler, Ankh-Morpork). As her natural Magrat-ness reasserts itself, her way is blocked by two guards. Then:
47	-->''Hai!''
48	-->''Ouch!''

Context Funny / WitchesAbroad