- There's nothing wrong with a good squint. Looks good on a witch.
"But you have to know how to use it," said Nanny Ogg. "Old Gertie Simmons used to have a squint and she was always putting the evil influence on the end of her own nose. You can't have people thinkin' that if you upsets a witch she curses and mutters and then her own nose drops off."
- Whenever Nanny tries to talk in foreign languages.
- Nanny knows how to start spelling 'banana', but not how to stop. Thus: 'banananana.'
- Granny and Nanny meet Mrs. Gogol and her black cockerel, Legba.
Nanny Ogg: That's the biggest cock I ever did see, and I seen a lot of them.(beat)Granny Weatherwax: She ain't never had no proper upbringing.Nanny Ogg: Growing up next to a chicken farm is what I was about to say!
- Granny being angry at an alligator, which just ate her hat. She then proceeds to Whip It Good. With a snake. It's hard not imagining it going pleading-puppy-eyed at her, begging to be let go.
- Vampires have risen from the grave, the tomb or the crypt... but none have ever risen from the cat.
- Almost any time the Duc's title comes up, because the witches think it's pronounced "duck". There's this prince, who's a duck, who's really a frog...