Funny / Witches Abroad

  • There's nothing wrong with a good squint. Looks good on a witch.
    "But you have to know how to use it," said Nanny Ogg. "Old Gertie Simmons used to have a squint and she was always putting the evil influence on the end of her own nose. You can't have people thinkin' that if you upsets a witch she curses and mutters and then her own nose drops off."
  • Whenever Nanny tries to talk in foreign languages.
  • Nanny knows how to start spelling 'banana', but not how to stop. Thus: 'banananana.'
  • Granny and Nanny meet Mrs. Gogol and her black cockerel, Legba.
    Nanny Ogg: That's the biggest cock I've ever seen!
    Granny Weatherwax: She never had no proper upbringing.
    Nanny Ogg: What with growing up next to a chicken farm is what I was about to say next!
  • Granny being angry at an alligator, which just ate her hat. She then proceeds to Whip It Good. With a snake. It's hard not imagining it going pleading-puppy-eyed at her, begging to be let go.
  • Vampires have risen from the grave, the tomb or the crypt... but none have ever risen from the cat.
  • Almost any time the Duc's title comes up, because the witches think it's pronounced "duck". There's this prince, who's a duck, who's really a frog...
  • Jason Ogg being worried about his mother and Granny Weatherwax running into the 'fearsome wild beasts in foreign parts' ... because some of those poor beasts are nearly extinct.