History Funny / FinalFantasyVIIMachinabridged

'''Barret:''' How 'bout I sue her, so it's even?

'''Tifa:''' [[SarcasmMode ...She's interesting.]]

-->'''Vincent:''' [[Film/EvilDead Groovy]].

* "WHO SUMMONS THE MIGHTY SQUATICLES?"

-->'''Cloud''': I. F**ING. Love you!

-->'''Cloud''': Speaking of titties, when I get back, [[BoobsOfSteel Tifa]] and I are going to have a ''serious'' convers-''(gibberish as he passes out)''

'''Cloud:''' I did. [[BoobsOfSteel It felt like wet sand in a balloon]].\\

'''Red XIII:''' I'm [[WebOriginal/ThoughtsOfDog hecking]] worried!

'''Barret:''' Don't fuck up! ''(Barret walks into Cloud's [[PartyInMyPocket pocket]], making a weird squishing sound)''\\
'''Cloud:''' ''(shutters)'' Aah, gross!

* "Blondie f**ked up!"

-->'''Tifa''': [[EstablishingCharacterMoment Hey there, cocksuckers!]] WEDGE GOD DAMMIT USE THE STAIRS!!

'''Barret:''' Oh, I ''don't'' know... ''Am'' I?\\

* After Cloud has another episode [[SurpriseCreepy upon seeing Jenova]], Barret asks him what he's freaking out about. Then he also sees Jenova.

''Approaching [[BonusBoss Emerald Weapon]]''\\

'''Barret:''' No!... [[ByNoIMeanYes Yes.]]

--->'''Barret:''' [[Film/ArtemisFowl Artsima Bahowl]]?\\

-->'''Barret:''' (covered in spiders) Can we just... not please?

'''Godo:''' (o-s) Nooo! My gateway to Shiva's garden!\\

'''Red XIII:''' (sings the Victory Fanfare)\\
'''Cloud:''' NO! This is not a victory! ... Ultimate Weapon. Next time we meet, we'll be prepared to fight you in aerial combat!\\
''(GilliganCut)''\\

'''Cait Sith:''' Wrong Weapon\\

''(GilliganCut.)''\\
'''Cloud''' ''(badly bruised)'': We did not got that...

'''Cait Sith:''' What about [[BonusBoss Ruby and Emeral-]]\\

-->'''Mog:''' '''We suck.'''

-->'''Reno:''' "[[ADateWithRosiePalms Then take care of it yourself]] [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple and go to sleep.]]"

'''Red XIII:''' ''(interrupting and stepping forward)'' [[AnythingThatMoves I'm gonna f*** it.]]\\

'''[[AnythingThatMoves Red XIII]]''': Go on...\\

'''[[AnythingThatMoves Red XIII]]''': [[RunningGag That's subjective.]]

''Cut away to Tifa and Barret\\

-->'''Tifa:''' Barret, is everything alright?\\

''Cuts to Cid and Cloud''\\

'''Barret:''' Don't have to tell me twice! ''(shoots at the glass)''\\

'''Barret:''' Yeah. ''(chortles)'' We're real crafty like that.\\

'''Barret:''' '''''THAT DOG CAN TALK!!!!'''''

* Turns out the racist receptionist is Shinra's niece, and he calls AVALANCHE crafty.
-->'''Shinra:''' The fact you manage to infiltrate SHINRA HQ, bypassing all security, including my lovely niece at the front desk.\\

'''Red XIII:''' ''(nervously snickering)'' Y-yeah yeah, guess...I guess I had to be-had to be there for...to get it.

'''Cloud:''' ...[[BuxomIsBetter Enormous]] [[BoobsOfSteel tits]] and probably insulted you?\\

-->'''Cloud:''' I said your eyes were pretty...''(laughs)'' [[BuxomIsBetter I wasn't really looking at your eyes]]...

--->'''Reno:''' ''(with a wispy voice)'' And that is my clue to leave... ''(starts running)'' Ow! Ow-ow-ow... Bad day to wear tight pants!

*** TFS also provided the entire list of Bahamuts. [[labelnote:*]]Bahamut, Bahumut Zero, Bahamut Sin, Neo Bahamut, Bahamut Fury, Bahamut Alpha, Bahamut Omega, Bahamut Eidolons, Bahamut Aeon, Bahamut Esper, Astral Bahamut, [[VideoGame/DirgeOfCerberus Dirge of Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/BeforeCrisis Before Crisis Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/CrisisCore Crisis Core Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/TheatrhythmFinalFantasy Theatrhythm Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/TheatrhythmFinalFantasy Theatrhythm Bahamut Curtain Call]], [[VideoGame/TheatrhythmFinalFantasy Theatrhythm Bahamut All-Star Carnival]], [[VideoGame/FrontMission Bahamut Mission Online]], [[VideoGame/NierAutomata Bahamut Automata]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV Bahamut A Realm Reborn]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXV Bahamut Episode Prompto]], [[Anime/KingsglaiveFinalFantasyXV Bahamut Kingsglaive, Bahamut Monster of the Deep]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXII Bahamut The Zodiac Age]], [[VideoGame/LifeIsStrangeBeforeTheStorm Bahamut Is Strange: Before the Storm]], [[VideoGame/DeusExMankindDivided Bahamut Mankind Divided]], [[VideoGame/DeusExHumanRevolution Bahamut Human Revolution]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsI Bahamut Hearts]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsChainOfMemories Bahamut Hearts: Chain of Memories]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsII Bahamut Hearts 2]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsII Bahamut Hearts 2: Final Mix]],[[VideoGame/KingdomHearts358DaysOver2 Bahamut Hearts: 358/2 Days]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHearts3DDreamDropDistance Bahamut Hearts: Dream Drop Distance]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsI Bahamut Hearts HD 1.2 Remix]], [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsII Bahamut Hearts HD 2.5 Remix]], Bahamut Hearts HD 2.8: Final Chapter Prologue, [[VideoGame/ResidentEvil7Biohazard Bahamut Evil VII Biohazard]], [[VideoGame/HorizonZeroDawn Bahamut Zero Dawn]], [[VideoGame/MassEffectAndromeda Bahamut Effect: Andromeda]], [[VideoGame/SuperMarioOdyssey Super Bahamut Odyssey]],[[VideoGame/StarWarsBattlefrontII Bahamut Wars: Battlefront 2]], [[VideoGame/OriAndTheWillOfTheWisps Bahamut and the Will of the Wisps]], [[VideoGame/CrashBandicootNSaneTrilogy Bahamacoot N.Sane Trilogy]], [[VideoGame/MarvelVsCapcomInfinite Bah Vs Hamut: Infinite]], [[VideoGame/MobiusFinalFantasy Mobius Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyIVTheAfterYears Bahamut The After Years]], Bahamut Interlude, Bahamut G-bike, [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIIRevenantWings Revenant Wings Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/LightningReturnsFinalFantasyXIII Bahamut Lightning Returns]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyTactics Tactics Bahamut]], Justice Monster Five Bahamut, [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyType0 Bahamut Type-0]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyCrystalChronicles Crystal Chronicles Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyCrystalChroniclesEchoesOfTime Echoes of Time Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyCrystalChroniclesTheCrystalBearers Bahamut Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers]],[[VideoGame/BravelyDefault Bravely Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/BravelySecond Bahamut End Layer]], [[VideoGame/DissidiaFinalFantasy Dissidia Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/DissidiaFinalFantasy2015 Dissidia 012 Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/DissidiaFinalFantasy Bahamut NT]], [[VideoGame/StarOcean Bahamut Ocean: First Departure]],[[VideoGame/ChronoTrigger Bahamut Trigger]], [[VideoGame/DragonQuestHeroesTheWorldTreesWoeAndTheBlightBelow Bahamut Quest Heroes: The World Bahamut's Woe and The Bahamut Below]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV Bahamut Stormblood]], Bahamut Racing 3D, [[VideoGame/SuperMarioRPG Super Bahamut RPG: The Legend of the Seven Bahamut]], [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Bahamut Hoops 3 on 3]], [[VideoGame/MusashiSamuraiLegend Musashi: Bahamut Legend]], [[VideoGame/{{0DayAttackOnEarth}} 0 Day: Attack on Bahamut]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Pingu}} Bahamut No Waku Waku Carnival]], [[VideoGame/SigmaHarmonics Sigma Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/SongSummoner Bahamut Summoner: The Unsung Bahamut]], [[VideoGame/TheWorldEndsWithYou The Bahamut Ends With You]], [[VideoGame/TacticsOgre Tactics Bahamut: Let Us Bahamut Together]], [[VideoGame/SeasonOfMysteryTheCherryBlossomMurders The Bahamut Blossom Murders]], [[VideoGame/MetroidPrime4 Bahamut Prime 4]], Season of Bahamut, [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV Bahamut Heavensward]], [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyRecordKeeper Bahamut Record Keeper]], [[VideoGame/PuzzleAndDragons Puzzles & Bahamut: Bahamut Tournament]], Bahamutmasque, [[VideoGame/KingdomHeartsIII Bahamut Hearts 3]][[/labelnote]]

'''Tifa:''' [[ShesGotLegs I have legs]] [[SkewedPriorities that the world]] ''[[SkewedPriorities needs]]'' [[SkewedPriorities to see]], Cloud! I don't do lunges for nothing.\\

* Barret saying that after setting the bomb, they'll [[{{Gainaxing}} bounce like titties]].

-->'''Aerith:''' All right, Tifa! Set the timer, and plant the bomb. Then we bounce [[{{Gainaxing}} like your boobies]]!\\

* With a name like [[Franchise/JoJosBizarreAdventure Dio]], sooner or later, the obvious joke would've been made. But TFS manages to do it in a creative way that segues into their current joke's punchline.

* [=TeamFourStar=] sidesteps the [[NoPronunciationGuide pronunciation of Cait Sith's name]], but initially type his name in as "Ket Shee." Cait Sith later attempts to get Dio to remember him by trying both pronunciations. Though if you [[FreezeFrameBonus pay close attention]] when the menu first comes up, you can see another name being deleted before the screen can properly fade in: Reeve.

* In case the end of the previous episode didn't make it clear, the greeter of Cosmo Canyon firmly establishes [[TheStoner what kind of people live there]].

--->'''Squirrel #1:''' [[TastesLikeDiabetes Do you know the way to our grandma's house?]]\\

'''Tifa:''' [[ShesGotLegs I have legs]] [[SkewedPriorities that the world]] ''[[SkewedPriorities needs]]'' [[SkewedPriorities to see]], Cloud! I don't do lunges for nothing.
'''Cloud:''' [[SarcasmMode Yeah, it's your]] ''[[SarcasmMode legs]]'' [[SarcasmMode that the world wants to see.]]

'''Cloud''': Guess that makes humping all those experiments [[IncestIsRelative really awkward]], huh Red?\\