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* WindbagPolitician: According to him, the real reason Cuban troops were found all over the world in the seventies and eighties was because it was preferable to staying in Cuba, where they have to listen to extremely long speeches.
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* WindbagPolitician: According to him, the real reason Cuban troops were found all over the world in the seventies and eighties was because it was preferable to staying in Cuba, where they have to listen to extremely long speeches. speeches.
* YeOldeButcheredEnglish: Wrote a column advocating a tax of $50,000 per instance per year on any business employing it. (e.g. "Ye Olde Shoppe" should be charged $150,000/year.) Any more than that, and the owner should be taken out and shot.
* YeOldeButcheredEnglish: Wrote a column advocating a tax of $50,000 per instance per year on any business employing it. (e.g. "Ye Olde Shoppe" should be charged $150,000/year.) Any more than that, and the owner should be taken out and shot.
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Hottip cleanup.
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* GagWords: Usually a new one in every column. [[hottip:Such as: brassiere brassiere brassiere]]
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* GagWords: Usually a new one in every column. [[hottip:Such as: [[labelnote:Such as]] brassiere brassiere brassiere]]brassiere[[/labelnote]]
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* LotsOfLuggage: He once described this type of individual as someone "whose idea of 'roughing it' means 'turning the air conditioner to medium'".
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Step Three Profit is now Missing Steps Plan. Non-comedic examples and badly written examples are being removed.
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* StepThreeProfit: He references the trope-naming episode of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' in ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead''.
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* FootFocus: On the cover of ''Dave Barry's Greatest Hits,'' he appears shoeless in a swimming pool with a computer in his lap, his feet propped up over the edge of the pool.
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** In ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'', he tells of attending Comdex and staying at "an establishment that, in an effort to avoid costly litigation, I will refer to here as the Total Lack of Quality Inn."
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* ScrewPolitenessIAmASenior: Barry would like to attack people with his cane, thank you very much.
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* ScrewPolitenessIAmASenior: ScrewPolitenessImASenior: Barry would like to attack people with his cane, thank you very much.
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* CommitmentIssues: In Dave Barry's Complete Guide To Guys, men are said to be afraid that they'll get in a relationship and get married and have kids and get old and one day they'll be walking down the beach and see a single guy relaxing in a hot tub with several supermodels and invite him and he won't be able to join them AAAIIIEEEEE!! He notes that to get the same amount of love and devotion with more reliability than a man, you might as well get a dog.
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David "Dave" Barry (born 1947) is an American humor columnist, his weekly column in ''The Miami Herald'' was also syndicated nationwide. Despite the national attention, many of his columns had a quirky, OnlyInFlorida vibe to them. In addition to his status as a journalist, Barry is also a bestselling author. The majority of his books are humorous nonfiction or compilations of his columns, but he's also written several novels. The two stand-alones are ''Literature/BigTrouble'' (which was made into a movie) and ''Literature/TrickyBusiness'' (he has since written a third, ''Insane City''), as well as co-authoring a novel called ''Literature/{{Lunatics}}'' with Alan Zweivel. He also co-authored a series of PeterPan inspired novels with Ridley Pearson, beginning with ''PeterAndTheStarcatchers''.
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David "Dave" Barry (born 1947) is an American humor columnist, his weekly column in ''The Miami Herald'' was also syndicated nationwide. Despite the national attention, many of his columns had a quirky, OnlyInFlorida vibe to them. In addition to his status as a journalist, Barry is also a bestselling author. The majority of his books are humorous nonfiction or compilations of his columns, but he's also written several novels. The two stand-alones are ''Literature/BigTrouble'' (which was made into a movie) and ''Literature/TrickyBusiness'' (he has since written a third, ''Insane City''), ''Literature/InsaneCity''), as well as co-authoring a novel called ''Literature/{{Lunatics}}'' with Alan Zweivel. He also co-authored a series of PeterPan inspired novels with Ridley Pearson, beginning with ''PeterAndTheStarcatchers''.
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moved from The Blair Witch Project
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* ClusterFBomb: Parodied ''Film/TheBlairWitchProject''. He wrote a "sample" of the dialogue, replacing the f-bomb with the word "darn"
--> '''First Character:''' Darn you! You darned got us darned lost in these darned woods! Darn!
--> '''Second Character:''' Go darn yourself!
--> '''Squirrel:''' Will you darners shut the darn UP?
--> '''First Character:''' Darn you! You darned got us darned lost in these darned woods! Darn!
--> '''Second Character:''' Go darn yourself!
--> '''Squirrel:''' Will you darners shut the darn UP?
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* WindbagPolitician: According to him, the real reason Cuban troops were found all over the world in the seventies and eighties was because it was preferable to staying in Cuba, where they have to listen to extremely long speeches.
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* ItTastesLikeFeet: He described Japanese energy drinks as tasting like "coyote spit."
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* StealingFromTheHotel: He tells this story:
-->''I was staying at a luxury Hyatt hotel. There was a little plastic sign in the bathroom that said: "Our towels are 100 percent cotton. Should you wish to purchase a set, they are available in the gift store. Should you prefer the set in your bathroom, a $75 charge will automatically be added to your bill." This was Hyatt's polite way of saying, "If you steal our towels, we'll charge you 75 bucks." So I stole the sign. Really. I kept it in my guest bathroom for a couple of years, to amuse guests.''
-->''I was staying at a luxury Hyatt hotel. There was a little plastic sign in the bathroom that said: "Our towels are 100 percent cotton. Should you wish to purchase a set, they are available in the gift store. Should you prefer the set in your bathroom, a $75 charge will automatically be added to your bill." This was Hyatt's polite way of saying, "If you steal our towels, we'll charge you 75 bucks." So I stole the sign. Really. I kept it in my guest bathroom for a couple of years, to amuse guests.''
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* RealLifeWritesThePlot: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' features a sub-story about two lovers who meet online, supposedly based on how Dave met his (current) wife online. The male in this story has the screen name "[=RayAdverb=]," an anagram of his name.
* RefugeInAudacity: Moreso in his books than in his columns, as the books aren't held by the content limitations of a syndicated newspaper column. Even so, his columns tended to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar push the envelope]] as far as it would go.
* RefugeInAudacity: Moreso in his books than in his columns, as the books aren't held by the content limitations of a syndicated newspaper column. Even so, his columns tended to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar push the envelope]] as far as it would go.
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* RealLifeWritesThePlot: RealitySubtext: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' features a sub-story about two lovers who meet online, supposedly based on how Dave met his (current) wife online. The male in this story has the screen name "[=RayAdverb=]," an anagram of his name.
* RefugeInAudacity: Moreso in his books than in his columns, as the books aren't held by the content limitations of a syndicated newspaper column. Even so, his columns tended to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar push the envelope]] as far as it would go.name.
* RefugeInAudacity: Moreso in his books than in his columns, as the books aren't held by the content limitations of a syndicated newspaper column. Even so, his columns tended to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar push the envelope]] as far as it would go.
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* AuthorCatchPhrase: "I am not making this up" (He was the TropeNamer, when the trope existed) and AGoodNameForARockBand.
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* AuthorCatchPhrase: AuthorCatchPhrase:
** "I am not making this up"(He was the TropeNamer, when the trope existed) (This is usually a lie) and AGoodNameForARockBand.
** "I am not making this up"
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An American humor columnist, his weekly column in ''The Miami Herald'' was also syndicated nationwide. Despite the national attention, many of his columns had a quirky, OnlyInFlorida vibe to them. In addition to his status as a journalist, Barry is also a bestselling author. The majority of his books are humorous nonfiction or compilations of his columns, but he's also written several novels. The two stand-alones are ''Literature/BigTrouble'' (which was made into a movie) and ''Literature/TrickyBusiness'' (he has since written a third, ''Insane City''), as well as co-authoring a novel called ''Literature/{{Lunatics}}'' with Alan Zweivel. He also co-authored a series of PeterPan inspired novels with Ridley Pearson, beginning with ''PeterAndTheStarcatchers''.
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** When his son was hit by a car while riding his bike, the subsequent dead serious column about it ended with an apology, saying he'd intended to do a goofy piece about his experiences in the hospital waiting room, but this was just how it turned out.
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** When his son was hit by a car while riding his bike, the subsequent dead serious column about it ended with an apology, saying he'd intended to do a goofy piece about his experiences in the hospital waiting room, but this was just how it turned out.
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An American humor columnist, his weekly column in ''The Miami Herald'' was also syndicated nationwide. Despite the national attention, many of his columns had a quirky, OnlyInFlorida vibe to them. In addition to his status as a journalist, Barry is also a bestselling author. The majority of his books are humorous nonfiction or compilations of his columns, but he's also written several novels. The two stand-alones are ''Literature/BigTrouble'' (which was made into a movie) and ''TrickyBusiness'' (he has since written a third, ''Insane City''), as well as co-authoring a novel called ''Literature/{{Lunatics}}'' with Alan Zweivel. He also co-authored a series of PeterPan inspired novels with Ridley Pearson, beginning with ''PeterAndTheStarcatchers''.
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An American humor columnist, his weekly column in ''The Miami Herald'' was also syndicated nationwide. Despite the national attention, many of his columns had a quirky, OnlyInFlorida vibe to them. In addition to his status as a journalist, Barry is also a bestselling author. The majority of his books are humorous nonfiction or compilations of his columns, but he's also written several novels. The two stand-alones are ''Literature/BigTrouble'' (which was made into a movie) and ''TrickyBusiness'' ''Literature/TrickyBusiness'' (he has since written a third, ''Insane City''), as well as co-authoring a novel called ''Literature/{{Lunatics}}'' with Alan Zweivel. He also co-authored a series of PeterPan inspired novels with Ridley Pearson, beginning with ''PeterAndTheStarcatchers''.
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* AGoodNameForARockBand: TropeNamer. He suggests many throughout his columns, and uses The Seminal Fluids in ''Literature/BigTrouble'' and Johnny and the Contusions in ''TrickyBusiness''.
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* AGoodNameForARockBand: TropeNamer. He suggests many throughout his columns, and uses The Seminal Fluids in ''Literature/BigTrouble'' and Johnny and the Contusions in ''TrickyBusiness''.''Literature/TrickyBusiness''.
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* IntercourseWithYou: {{Lampshaded}} in ''Book Of Bad Songs'' and his novels, ''Literature/BigTrouble'' and ''TrickyBusiness''.
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* IntercourseWithYou: {{Lampshaded}} in ''Book Of Bad Songs'' and his novels, ''Literature/BigTrouble'' and ''TrickyBusiness''.''Literature/TrickyBusiness''.
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* OldShame: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' recounts an embarrassing incident involving {{Usenet}}. On March 17, 1994, he wrote a jocularly profane message to a reporter who wanted to interview him and accidentally [[http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.dave_barry/browse_thread/thread/19a8044adbbce744/59f09d34ab7c8902#59f09d34ab7c8902 posted it to the Usenet group alt.fan.dave_barry]] instead of sending it by private e-mail. This became legendary around the Internet as the "Chuckletrousers" post. Several days later, the reporter, Michael Bywater, posted to the same newsgroup complaining that he had been forwarded 2,038 copies of the message and didn't want any more.
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* PoliceCodeForEverything: Apparently in Butler County, Pennsylvania a code 10-84 means "Turkey in Fighting Posture." (A turkey crashed through the windshield of a dump truck and scared the driver with a "fighting posture.")
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* OldShame: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' recounts an embarrassing incident involving {{Usenet}}. On March 17, 1994, he wrote a jocularly profane message to a reporter who wanted to interview him and accidentally [[http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.dave_barry/browse_thread/thread/19a8044adbbce744/59f09d34ab7c8902#59f09d34ab7c8902 posted it to the Usenet group alt.fan.dave_barry]] instead of sending it by private e-mail. This became legendary around the Internet as the "Chuckletrousers" post. Several days later, the reporter, Michael Bywater, posted to the same newsgroup complaining that he had been forwarded 2,038 copies of the message and didn't want any more.
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* OldShame: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' recounts an embarrassing incident involving {{Usenet}}. On March 17, 1994, he wrote a jocularly profane message to a reporter who wanted to interview him and accidentally [[http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.dave_barry/browse_thread/thread/19a8044adbbce744/59f09d34ab7c8902#59f09d34ab7c8902 posted it to the Usenet group alt.fan.dave_barry]] instead of sending it by private e-mail. This became legendary around the Internet as the "Chuckletrousers" post. Several days later, the reporter, Michael Bywater, posted to the same newsgroup complaining that he had been forwarded 2,038 copies of the message and didn't want any more.
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* OlderThanHeLooks: He's always looked young for his age — it's hard to believe even now that he's in his 60s. Barry joked about this once by telling ''People'' magazine that "I reached puberty at 30. At 12, I looked like a fetus."
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* OlderThanHeLooks: He's always looked young for his age — it's hard to believe even now that he's in his 60s. Barry joked about this once by telling ''People'' magazine that "I reached puberty at 30. At 12, I looked like a fetus." "
* OldShame: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' recounts an embarrassing incident involving {{Usenet}}. On March 17, 1994, he wrote a jocularly profane message to a reporter who wanted to interview him and accidentally [[http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.dave_barry/browse_thread/thread/19a8044adbbce744/59f09d34ab7c8902#59f09d34ab7c8902 posted it to the Usenet group alt.fan.dave_barry]] instead of sending it by private e-mail. This became legendary around the Internet as the "Chuckletrousers" post. Several days later, the reporter, Michael Bywater, posted to the same newsgroup complaining that he had been forwarded 2,038 copies of the message and didn't want any more.
* OldShame: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' recounts an embarrassing incident involving {{Usenet}}. On March 17, 1994, he wrote a jocularly profane message to a reporter who wanted to interview him and accidentally [[http://groups.google.com/group/alt.fan.dave_barry/browse_thread/thread/19a8044adbbce744/59f09d34ab7c8902#59f09d34ab7c8902 posted it to the Usenet group alt.fan.dave_barry]] instead of sending it by private e-mail. This became legendary around the Internet as the "Chuckletrousers" post. Several days later, the reporter, Michael Bywater, posted to the same newsgroup complaining that he had been forwarded 2,038 copies of the message and didn't want any more.
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* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: His works before ''Slept Here'' are noticeably less biting, less profane, and less heavy on running gags.
** Also, his first five books had illustrations by Jerry O'Brien instead of Jeff [=MacNelly=]. (''Slept Here'' had a different illustrator, as maps were the only illustrations needed.)
** Also, his first five books had illustrations by Jerry O'Brien instead of Jeff [=MacNelly=]. (''Slept Here'' had a different illustrator, as maps were the only illustrations needed.)
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* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: His works before ''Slept Here'' are noticeably less biting, less profane, and less heavy on running gags.
**gags. Also, his first five books had illustrations by the illustrator was Jerry O'Brien instead of Jeff [=MacNelly=]. (''Slept Here'' had a different illustrator, as maps were the only illustrations needed.)[=MacNelly=].
**
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** Deliberately invoked in one of the "discussion questions" in ''Dave Barry Slept Here''.
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** Deliberately invoked Invoked in one of the "discussion questions" in ''Dave Barry Slept Here''.
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* TheParody: "Fangs of Endearment" from his latest book ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead'' amounts to a parody of the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series. Not an exceptionally affectionate one; it may cross into TakeThat. He also has a joke script to an episode of ''[[Series/TwentyFour 24]]'' that reads a little more affectionate.
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* TheParody: "Fangs of Endearment" from his latest book ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead'' amounts to a parody of the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series. Not an exceptionally affectionate one; it may cross into series and borders on TakeThat. He also has a joke script to an episode of ''[[Series/TwentyFour 24]]'' that reads a little more affectionate.like a deconstructive AffectionateParody (for one, the President is a kangaroo… and a female one at that).
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** In 2008, he wrote a column about getting a colonoscopy after his brother was diagnosed with colon cancer. The article starts out in its usual joke-y mode, then ends with him essentially saying that colonoscopies are no big deal, and if a weenie such as he can get one, then so can you.
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** In 2008, he wrote a column about getting a colonoscopy after his brother was diagnosed with colon cancer. The article starts out in its usual joke-y mode, then ends with him essentially saying that colonoscopies are no big deal, and encouraging all 50-somethings to get one done — because if a weenie such as he can get one, do it, then so can you.you. People even sent him letters saying that they did so.
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** In 2008, he wrote a column about getting a colonoscopy after his brother was diagnosed with colon cancer. The article starts out in its usual joke-y mode, then ends with him essentially saying that colonoscopies are no big deal, and if a weenie such as he can get one, then so can you.
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* TheOtherDarrin: Somewhat jarring to long-time avid readers when in his columns, "my wife Beth" suddenly became "my girlfriend Maria" (later wife) with no explanation given (granted, its kind of a personal matter not usually discussed in booger-joke columns). Although astute fans get a slightly fictionalized account of what happenend in ''Dave Barry Does Cyberspace'', as mentioned above.
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[[redirect:DaveBarry]]
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->''Dave Barry was described in ''The New York Times'' as "the funniest man in America," a claim he has been quick to disavow, [[NoExceptYes except for the plaque on the front door.]]''
-->--'''From the Author's Notes of''' ''Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States''
An American humor columnist, his weekly column in ''The Miami Herald'' was also syndicated nationwide. Despite the national attention, many of his columns had a quirky, OnlyInFlorida vibe to them. In addition to his status as a journalist, Barry is also a bestselling author. The majority of his books are humorous nonfiction or compilations of his columns, but he's also written several novels. The two stand-alones are ''Literature/BigTrouble'' (which was made into a movie) and ''TrickyBusiness'' (he has since written a third, ''Insane City''), as well as co-authoring a novel called ''Literature/{{Lunatics}}'' with Alan Zweivel. He also co-authored a series of PeterPan inspired novels with Ridley Pearson, beginning with ''PeterAndTheStarcatchers''.
In addition to his writing career, Barry performs in a band, The Rock Bottom Remainders, with Al Kooper, Creator/StephenKing, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson, and Mitch Albom.
He's also one of the few people to get a sitcom based on himself, called ''Dave's World''. It aired from 1993 to 1997 on CBS, with Barry portrayed by Harry Anderson.
----
!!Tropes Present Throughout His Work:
* AdjacentToThisCompleteBreakfast: The TropeNamer.
* TheAllegedCar: Barry has owned several, and his father several more ("THE HILLMAN MINX!") In one column, talking about classic cars, Barry said he intended to buy a Chevy Vega. Or whatever's left of a Vega, probably a bag full of iron oxide powder.
--> "So by today's nitpicky standards, the Vega was not so much a motor vehicle as a paperweight with a horn."
--> "No, today's cars are just not exciting. I've thought about getting a fun old car, like a GTO or a vintage Mustang. But then I'd have to keep it garaged, find a mechanic, etc. So maybe instead I'll just get a vintage Vega. I'll keep it in a Tupperware container, which I'll carry in my glove compartment. When I encounter other vintage-car guys, I'll lower my window, and shake my Vega at them. That way they'll know that, inside my Actuary, I am still cool."
* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: Barry is one himself, and many of his columns make note of this. He once picked his son up from school in the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: A recurring trope. He once described 1963 and 1968 as "A Long String of Bummers," starting with [[JohnFKennedy Kennedy's assassination]], followed by the election of goofy-looking LyndonJohnson, the VietnamWar and its associated controversies, more assassinations and riots, and GilligansIsland being cancelled.
* AttackOfThePoliticalAd: ''Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway'' has an entire chapter parodying campaign ads in which two candidates for Congress run ads against each other using the same TV announcer and the same [[PhotoOpWithTheDog dog]] and illustrated with [[WorstNewsJudgmentEver "actual newspaper headlines"]] and grainy black-and-white photos of the opponent embracing [[StarWars Darth Vader]] and AdolfHitler and [[KickTheDog abusing animals]]. The ads are so successful in scaring people away from voting for each other that, come election day, voter turnout is zero.
-->"I'm Bob Humpty, and I think it's time to stop name-calling and start talking about where we stand on the issues. I believe it's wrong to have sex with ''any'' [[BestialityIsDepraved kind of farm animal]]. I realize that my opponent disagrees with me. But I think we can debate this issue in a positive manner, without negativity and lies and threats by my opponent to kidnap my baby daughter."
* AuthorCatchPhrase: "I am not making this up" (He was the TropeNamer, when the trope existed) and AGoodNameForARockBand.
** Low-Flow Toilets was also a popular joke for some time.
** He also makes mention of "an alert reader" whenever he mentions a fan.
* BankToaster: Mentions this in one of his books, remarking how the only question banks used to ask was if you wanted the toaster or the electric blanket.
* BavarianFireDrill: He and several cartoonists got into the 2000 Democratic National Convention by dressing up in dark suits and sunglasses, and sticking phone cords in their ears to pretend they were the security detail for Richard Riordan, then-mayor of Los Angeles. (The mayor was in on it, but the convention's security detail and doormen were not.)
* BreadEggsBreadedEggs: A common tactic:
--> "All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears. Of falling... Of the dark... Of lobsters... Of falling on lobsters in the dark..."
--> "The best gift of all is not a mansion, or diamonds or gold. It is a mansion filled with diamonds and gold. But, if you can't give that then you should settle for a college education."
* BreadEggsMilkSquick: The headline for one of his columns was ''Coffee? Tea? Weasel Spit?''. There's also the column about Kopi Luwak, a type of coffee that [[NauseaFuel is made from coffee beans that have been pooped out by a civet]].
* BrickJoke: Almost every column he writes ends with a punchline referencing the abandoned first topic of the column.
* CityOfAdventure: {{Miami}}, in both his books and columns. Of course, Miami and South Florida are both factual examples in RealLife.
* TheCollectorOfTheStrange: Barry owns [[http://maryland.lib.overdrive.com/3C32564B-169B-4439-9E9E-C4C72BF0C15D/10/295/en/ContentDetails.htm?ID={72CA3615-33EE-4F89-AC6C-5BC180DF55E3} everything on this list]].
** And every Christmas he does a Holiday Gift Guide featuring some of the damn weirdest things you'll ever see. Bull Scrotum Handsack, anyone?
** He lists his coworkers as follows: Judi, Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men, and Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
* ConvenienceStoreGiftShopping: He wrote that one time he saw his wife buy one of those ridiculously small decorative boxes (you know, the ones that could maybe hold a walnut, if you're lucky) without even knowing when or for whom it would be used as a present. Apparently you can fall into this trap even when you aren't shopping for anyone in particular.
* CoolAndUnusualPunishment: He comes up with several:
--> "Anyway, since you and I are such superior drivers, I wanted to share with you an excellent idea that was sent in to me by Florida motorist Damara Hutchins, who is also above average. She begins by noting the annoying behavior of certain motorists, especially the ones who drift along in the left, or 'passing,' lane, mile after clueless mile, never passing anybody and never noticing the line of motorists behind them flashing their lights, honking their horns, making explicit hand gestures, firing marine flares, etc. So anyway, here is Damara Hutchins' idea, which I'm told is similar to a concept proposed by the comedian Gallagher: powerful bumper-mounted sucker-dart guns. You would shoot these at other motorists when they did something stupid. Ideally, you could fire several different colors of darts, to indicate the type of infraction."
* CowboyBebopAtHisComputer: Parodied:
-->"We see this all the time. Journalists, rushing to get a story out under deadline pressure, will report, based on preliminary information, that a ship sank, and 127 people, many of them elderly, perished. Then, upon further investigation, it turns out that nobody, in fact, perished, although one elderly person was slightly injured by a set of dentures hurled by another elderly person in an effort to get the first elderly person to stop talking so loud. Then it turns out that this happened at a nursing home, as opposed to a ship, although the elderly people were watching a video of ''Titanic'' at the time, and although there were only four of them, as opposed to 127, the nursing home is located on Route 124, which is only three less than 127, which is not that much of an error when you consider the deadline pressure that journalists operate under."
* DarknessInducedAudienceApathy: {{Invoked}}. The end result of the Bob Humpty/Bill Dumpty election mentioned above? No one voted. Not even the two candidates themselves.
* DeadlyRoadTrip: What will happen to tourists in Miami; not so much death as massive scamming and pickpocketing.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: In ''Dave Barry Turns 50'': "10 Signs That You Might Be Losing It." Number 1: "You tend to forget things." Number 6: "You tend to forget things." Number 10: "You tend to forget things."
** In ''Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs'' Dave Barry awards Paul [=McCartney=] the Certificate of Redundancy Certificate (though inaccurately, for a mishearing of the line "if this ever-changing world in which we're livin'" from the song "Live in Let Die" as "if this ever-changing world in which we live in").
* DinnerOrderFlub: Dave explained in his column "The Evil Eye" that he was getting too nearsighted to read restaurant menus, so he just points randomly at something which turns out to be his napkin, and tells the waiter, "I want that medium rare." This joke also appears in ''Dave Barry Turns 50'', with a medium-rare order of "We Do Not Accept Personal Checks."
* DisgustingPublicToilet: In which the bodies of dead health inspectors may be found.
* {{Dissimile}}: Used frequently, usually in the format of "So in other words, X is exactly like Y. Except for [[[RuleOfThree at least three traits]] common to X but not Y]."
* DistractedByTheSexy: Or as he calls it, Lust Induced Brain Freeze.
** Also appears in ''Turns 50'', where he witnesses the introduction of the miniskirt:
--->It was dangerous for males to go outside, because they tended to develop a medical condition known as Miniskirt Rapture, wherein you'd be watching a woman walk in an extremely short skirt, and with every step a glimpse of underpants would come your way—[[RuleOfThree glimpse glimpse glimpse]]—and your brain was so busy receiving this vital information that it stopped paying attention to anything else, and the next thing you know, you were being run over by a municipal bus, which happened to be on the sidewalk because the driver was also devoting his entire brain to receiving panty glimpses.
* DogsAreDumb: He's received hate mail because of this belief, from readers who have apparently failed to notice his references to a long string of dogs in his life and home.
** He mocks this in one column, in which he avoids saying that dogs are stupid by substituting "stupid" with "loyal". He then explains how he's trying to avoid angry mail from fans who write to him about how dogs are actually intelligent. He adds a bit of a TakeThat with "I guess from their perspective, dogs are intelligent, but let's not go there".
* DontExplainTheJoke: In one column (published in ''Dave Barry Talks Back''), he briefly indulged in this after receiving one too many letters from people who didn't grasp that he was joking when he wrote something. The rest of the article was written with "closed-captioning for the humor-impaired," in which he explained every single joke he made immediately after making it.
-->No item is ever allowed to appear in Mister Language Person until trained grammarians have indicated their approval by barking at it in an excited manner. ([[AC:those are not grammarians. those are his dogs.]])
* DoomItYourself: ''The Taming of the Screw'', parts of ''Homes and Other Black Holes'', as well as occasional columns.
* DoomyDoomsOfDoom: He transformed into "The Avenging Death Killer of Doom" when playing Laser Tag.
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: His works before ''Slept Here'' are noticeably less biting, less profane, and less heavy on running gags.
** Also, his first five books had illustrations by Jerry O'Brien instead of Jeff [=MacNelly=]. (''Slept Here'' had a different illustrator, as maps were the only illustrations needed.)
* [[ElSpanishO Der Germanen]]: From ''Dave Barry Does Japan'':
-->"One could see a sign for 'Goendownenundergroundenpayenfairenridearoundentrainen' and easily deduce that it means 'subway.'"
* ExpressLaneLimit: A running joke. Rules about the Express Lane are presented as [[SeriousBusiness amendments to the U.S. Constitution]] in ''Dave Barry Slept Here'' and ''Dave Barry Hits Below The Beltway''. ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' refers to the Supreme Court decision in the case of ''Mrs. Bernice A. Whackerdorfer v. A Bunch of Really Angry People Waiting in Line Behind Her''.
* FishOutOfWater: The basis for a great deal of self-deprecating humor in ''Dave Barry Does Japan.''
* FootFocus: On the cover of ''Dave Barry's Greatest Hits,'' he appears shoeless in a swimming pool with a computer in his lap, his feet propped up over the edge of the pool.
* FootnoteFever: A favorite tactic.
* ForeignCussWord: His column "Europe on Five Vowels a Day" gives three "idiomatic expressions" commonly used by foreigners, with translations. "Ach du lieber!" and "Caramba!" are both translated as "Darn it!" The French phrase "Zut alors!", however, is translated as, "Look! A lors!"
** In ''Dave Barry In Cyberspace'', he makes a list of strange websites and one is devoted to cursing in Swedish.
* FromTheLatinIntroDucere: Several of his columns include completely made up joke etymologies:
-->"Perspective" is derived from two ancient Greek words: "persp," meaning "something bad that happens to somebody else," and "ective," meaning "ideally somebody like Donald Trump."\\
The very word "insect" is a combination of two ancient Greek words: "in," meaning "a," and "sect," meaning "repulsive little creature."\\
The hypothesis—which comes from the Greek words "hypot," meaning "word," and "hesis," meaning "that I am looking up in the dictionary right now"...
* GaggingOnYourWords: ''Dave Barry Slept Here'' has:
-->And thus it was that on election day, October 8, 1968, the voters went to the polls and elected, as leader of the greatest nation that the world has ever seen, President Richard Milhous N...\\
President Richard M...\\
President R...\\
Please don't make us do this.
* GagWords: Usually a new one in every column. [[hottip:Such as: brassiere brassiere brassiere]]
* GameShowAppearance: Dave played a CelebrityEdition of ''WheelOfFortune'' in May 1995. And yes, he [[http://www.davebarry.com/president/dave2k/columns/wheel.htm wrote a column]] about it. [[spoiler:He won the main game, but lost the BonusRound.]]
* AGoodNameForARockBand: TropeNamer. He suggests many throughout his columns, and uses The Seminal Fluids in ''Literature/BigTrouble'' and Johnny and the Contusions in ''TrickyBusiness''.
** He used to be in a band called Federal Duck, and is now in one called The Rock Bottom Remainders.
* HiroshimaAsAUnitOfMeasure: Lampshaded in at least one of his articles.
* HistoricalInJoke: All of ''Dave Barry Slept Here''.
** And a significant portion of ''Dave Barry Turns 50''.
* HollywoodAtlas: Most of the North American and European entries appear in ''Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need.''
* {{How I Wrote This Article Article}}: Several throughout his 20+ year career.
* HurricaneOfExcuses: The U.S. government's explanations for the U-2 incident, in ''Dave Barry Slept Here''.
* HurricaneOfPuns: If you find one pun in one of his articles, you're sure to find ten more.
* HypocriticalHumor: All the time.
* INeedAFreakingDrink: Some of his columns, and ''Dave Barry Slept Here'', end with a line about needing a beer.
* IKEAErotica: PlayedForLaughs in ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' with a "cybersex" session including the ridiculous line: "I AM THRUSTING MY MASSIVE KNOCKWURST OF LOVE INTO YOUR PASSION PERSIMMON!" And then it turns out that the guy is Al Gore. The woman he's doing it with? Tipper Gore. And neither of them knew at first.
** Averted in the same book.
--> '''Woman''': "Wow! that is a very large virtual penis!"
--> '''Man''': "Yes, it can be any length I want! Fifty feet for example!"
* IncrediblyLamePun: Used and made fun of on several occasions.
--> "They were a bit shocked when they saw the crowd, but then they heartened when they heard the 'awww.' ([[DontExplainTheJoke Get it? Shock and awww!]] Ha ha! Never mind.)"
* InherentlyFunnyWords: "Weasel" and "booger" top the list.
** THE HAWLEY-SMOOT TARIFF.
** Also "moose," "doots," and "[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs moose doots]]."
** In one column, he mentions trying to figure out if the word "wolverine" or "weasel" is funnier. He ultimately decides on "badger".
** This may also be the reason he [[InsistentTerminology tends to use]] "bosoms" when referring to breasts.
* IntercourseWithYou: {{Lampshaded}} in ''Book Of Bad Songs'' and his novels, ''Literature/BigTrouble'' and ''TrickyBusiness''.
-->"I want your sex pootie! I want your sex pootie!"
** This song was recorded by a band named ''The Seminal Fluids''.
* ItAlwaysRainsAtFunerals: He can think of no other explanation for why medieval Europeans would bury so many people inside.
* JapanesePoliteness: Mentioned throughout ''Dave Barry Does Japan''. Since Japanese people think it's rude to say "No," he includes a chart of acceptable euphemisms they will use instead of no, such as "We will see," "It will be difficult," and "Yes."
* KnockKnockJoke: Many times throughout his columns.
* LateToThePunchline: ''Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway'' has a parody of the American Constitution in which Article I, Section 8 reads "[[ThereIsNoRuleSix Section 8 has been intentionally left blank]]." This is much, much funnier if you know that in the actual Constitution, Section 8 is the section that gives Congress all of its legal power.
* LittleKnownFacts: He gives out several of these "facts" throughout his columns, especially in the guise of Mr. Language Person:
-->'''Q.''' What are metrosexuals?
-->'''A.''' They are individuals who have sex (also known as "bling bling") on subways.
* MatzoFever: Enough to marry a Jewish woman and respectfully attend her synagogue despite being an atheist.
* MediumAwareness / NoFourthWall: In his books, he commonly makes reference to the work, mostly through "this chapter" and "this paragraph."
* MemeticBadass:[[invoked]] He has portrayed Lee Iacocca as one in-work.
* MenCantKeepHouse: Dave mentions sharing an apartment with a fellow young male. It lacked furniture, but this allowed them to play Indoor Ricochet Death Frisbee. Another one is when a reader tells him he has boxed up a ton of old junk and arranged the boxes into ugly brown furniture. His girlfriend fails to see the simple genius of this arrangement, obvious to any male.
* {{Mondegreen}}:[[invoked]] He devoted an entire chapter to this in ''Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs,'' commenting that his bad song voting produced many votes for "Ain't No Woman Like the One-Eyed Gott." He had a lengthy section on various attempts to spell the chorus of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight," and the chapter began with his misinterpretation of the Beach Boys' song "Help Me Rhonda."
* MoodWhiplash:
** ''Dave Barry Turns 40'' has a chapter attacking conservatives and a two-page, dead-serious ode to his mother inserted among all the humor.
** ''Dave Barry Turns 50'' has a few moments in his year-by-year chronology when he gives his viewpoints on the issues of the day, including observations on the CivilRightsMovement of the 1960s, and attacking the politicians who helped start the Vietnam War.
** ''Dave Barry Does Japan'' has a chapter on visiting Hiroshima on the anniversary of the bombing. To show that it's a notably non-funny section, dark gray pages mark the beginning and end of the chapter. It then comes up again in the conclusion; see SincerityMode below.
** ''Boogers Are My Beat'' ends with serious columns written on 9/11 and one year later. In the author's notes he remarks that many people have requested that he speak on serious issues more often, since he has an outlook and tone that comforts them. Dave immediately counters with the observation that he wishes precisely the opposite, since such essays require something ''horrible'' to happen. And he wouldn't wish that for anything; he'd rather stick to the booger jokes.
** ''Dave Barry's Greatest Hits'' has a (much shorter than usual) column written about the death of his father.
** ''Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up'' has a chapter on music that begins with an absolutely poignant look back at Elvis, then goes into his survey for the worst songs ever.
*** The same book also has an article in which he talks about when his son was hospitalized after being in a car accident. He even lampshades it in the end: "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a hilarious column about how Beth and I were getting ready to go our for a nice dinner at 6 P.M. and wound up eating lukewarm cheeseburgers at 11 P.M. on a table in the Miami Children's Hospital emergency room; and how Rob, after politely thanking a very nice nurse for helping him sit up, threw up on her; and other comical events. But this is how the column turned out. Next week I promise to return to Booger Journalism."
* MyFriendsAndZoidberg: It's hard to remember a time he's talked about "humanity" or "humankind" without adding "and X," where X is any group. Example: "The time has come that we, humans and congressmen alike..."
* MyHovercraftIsFullOfEels: ''Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need'' plays with this by having translation guides that mostly consist of random sentences in English like "Show me the fish of your brother Raoul" (variants of which become a RunningGag). The foreign translations were mostly just gibberish.
* NiceToTheWaiter: "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."
* NoodleImplements: From ''Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex'':
-->Q. Listen, I, ummm, I have this kind of weird sexual hangup, which is that I, ummmmm... this is very embarrassing...
-->A. Go ahead! Say it! Don't be ashamed! That's what we're here for! To help!
-->Q. Okay, but I want to whisper it. (whisper whisper whisper)
-->A. My God! Really?
-->Q. Um, yes.
-->A. The Joint Chiefs of Staff?
-->Q. Well, yes.
-->A. How do you get the hamsters into the accordion?
** Also from Dave's columns; "how to have some real 'old-fashioned' Halloween fun! Start by gathering these materials: a commercial air compressor, an acetylene torch, a marine flare gun and 200 pounds of boiled pig brains. Next, select a neighbor who ..."
* NoseNuggets: There are countless booger jokes present throughout his work. One of his books is even titled ''Boogers Are My Beat''.
** When he went to Japan he gave a few of his books to his guide to help explain what kind of writer he was. The first question the guide asked was "what is a booger?" Dave noted that sophisticated humor concepts can sometimes fail to cross language boundaries.
** Played with, as well -- he actually makes more jokes about making booger jokes than actual booger jokes.
* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: He's written "I am not making this up" [[OnceAnEpisode so often]] that it's become a CatchPhrase. He even named one of his books ''Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up''.
** Although sometimes [[BlatantLies he is anyway.]]
** He even devotes the start of a column to reminding viewers of this, just so that he won't get people asking about the truth of the column -- Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump.
** And on occasion, when he's reporting something genuine but really ridiculous, he'll say something like "I'm pretty sure I must have made this up."
* OlderThanHeLooks: He's always looked young for his age — it's hard to believe even now that he's in his 60s. Barry joked about this once by telling ''People'' magazine that "I reached puberty at 30. At 12, I looked like a fetus."
* OnlyInFlorida: 90% of his columns' subject matter, as well as an extensive chapter near the end of ''Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway.''
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness: When he writes a non-humor column, it's usually because something horrible has gone down.
* TheParody: "Fangs of Endearment" from his latest book ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead'' amounts to a parody of the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series. Not an exceptionally affectionate one; it may cross into TakeThat. He also has a joke script to an episode of ''[[Series/TwentyFour 24]]'' that reads a little more affectionate.
* PersonAsVerb: From ''Dave Barry Slept Here'', regarding signing of the Declaration of Independence ([[RunningGag October 8]], 1776): "The members took turns lighting sparklers and signing their John Hancocks to the Declaration, with one prankster even going so far as to actually write 'John Hancock.'"
* PorkyPigPronunciation: ''Dave Barry In Cyberspace'' compares reading typewritten documents to "listening to Porky Pig try to complete a sentence" because of all the mistakes that have to be crossed out.
* PurpleProse: Parodied in ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead'', where he writes a long passage of a fictional novel, including passages expounding on how the IKEA furniture has left the main character's hands gnarled, and the female character is from a town in Wales where a 47-year-old woman held up French soldiers with a pitchfork (no, really).
* RapidFireComedy: Barry can make booger jokes, [[HistoricalInJoke historical in-jokes]], pop culture references, and puns in the same short article. To say that every other sentence he writes is a punchline would be ''underestimating'' him. Counting for inflation, it's more like every six out of three.
* RealLifeWritesThePlot: ''Dave Barry in Cyberspace'' features a sub-story about two lovers who meet online, supposedly based on how Dave met his (current) wife online. The male in this story has the screen name "[=RayAdverb=]," an anagram of his name.
* RefugeInAudacity: Moreso in his books than in his columns, as the books aren't held by the content limitations of a syndicated newspaper column. Even so, his columns tended to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar push the envelope]] as far as it would go.
* RuleOfFunny: The very thing that allowed him to get ''paid'' to write whole columns' worth of booger jokes.
* RunningGag: His work is practically ''made'' of running gags.
** The 2008 Year in Review had Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac scrambling for money by buying Powerball tickets, betting on the Pats to win the Super Bowl, applying as candidates on ''Series/DealOrNoDeal'', etc.
---> "Speaking of trouble, the economic news continues to worsen with the discovery that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have sent $87 billion to a Nigerian businessman with a compelling e-mail story."
---> "In yet another troubling economic indicator, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac rob a liquor store."
---> "The federal government is finally forced to take over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac after they are caught selling crack at a middle school."
** All the mentions of THE HAWLEY-SMOOT TARIFF in ''Dave Barry Slept Here'':
---> "Quite frankly, we have no idea what this is, but we think it has a wonderful ring to it, and we just like to see it in large bold letters: THE HAWLEY-SMOOT TARIFF."
--->"Nevertheless, [Franklin Roosevelt] began immediately to combat the Depression, implementing a series of bold and sweeping new programs that came to be known, collectively, as THE HAWLEY-SMOOT TARIFF."
*** Said book also had the government-mandated mentions of the "accomplishments of women and minorities." And to make it easier for people to remember important historical dates, they were ''all'' changed to October 8 (his son's birthday).
** Don't forget the Giant Prehistoric Zucchini from ''Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway.''
*** Giant Prehistoric Zucchini would be AGoodNameForARockBand.
** Or Buffalo Bob from ''Dave Barry Turns 50''.
** And Your Brother Raoul from the ''Travel Guide''.
** The 2011 Year in Review had "the [[TroubledProduction troubled musical]] ''Theatre/SpiderManTurnOffTheDark''."
* ScrewPolitenessIAmASenior: Barry would like to attack people with his cane, thank you very much.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: In ''Dave Barry's Money Secrets'', when showing the proper way to write a résumé:
-->"Results-oriented multitasking hands-on team-building problem-solving take-charge self-starter with enterprise-wide cross-functional productivity-enhancement management-specific capabilities including all phases of conceptualization, implementation, integration, augmentation, allocation, irrigation, fermentation, lactation, plantation, and {{antidisestablishmentarianism}} served over field greens with a balsamic vinaigrette."
* SignificantAnagram: If he can find a funny anagram in something, he ''will'' reference it several times in the article or book. See also "[=RayAdverb=]," above.
** Furthermore, he feels that an anagram generator is an essential computer program for anyone to have.
* SincerityMode: Several spots in ''Dave Barry Does Japan''. Especially the ending, where he concludes that Americans should learn respect and responsibility from the Japanese, while the Japanese should learn from the Americans how to lighten up and be less conformist, "because nobody's perfect".
* SmartPeopleSpeakTheQueensEnglish: He mentions this idea, saying that a person with a British accent could be presenting ''Series/HawaiiFiveO'' and Americans would think them extremely enlightening.
* SophisticatedAsHell: His common writing style.
* StepThreeProfit: He references the trope-naming episode of ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'' in ''I'll Mature When I'm Dead''.
* StuffBlowingUp: A popular subject for him, ever since he found about (and popularized) the infamous [[http://www.theexplodingwhale.com exploding whale]] incident.
* SuddenlyShouting: Lampshaded in a column on ads he and the rest of the world hates:
-->"[...] ads where the announcer SHOUTS AT YOU AS THOUGH YOU ARE AN IDIOT and then reads, in very muted tones, what sounds like the entire US tax code."
* SymbolSwearing: One of his early columns was titled entirely with symbol swearing. Not surprisingly, it was about trying not to swear in front of his son.
** And when the audiobook came along, the narrator had to resort to muffled grunts and squeaks as an equivalent.
* TakeThat: Another favorite tactic.
--> "On several occasions, ''SaturdayNightLive'' was funny."
--> "In sports, the entire nation rejoices as the World Series is won, yet again, by a team other than the New York Yankees."
** The state of North Dakota actually gave ''him'' a Take That after he made several disparaging jokes about the Dakotas: they invited him to Grand Forks, North Dakota and officially named a sewage lifter after him.
** Several columns were dedicated to readers submitting their most hated music or commercial (the Charmin commercial, apparently).
** He was asked to play a corpse in an opera after writing about how opera is hazardous to one's health.
** [[http://www.miamiherald.com/2010/10/24/v-fullstory/1845327/campaign-86-and-now-for-some-comic.html This column]].
* TalkAboutTheWeather
* TeenageDeathSongs: An entire chapter of ''Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs'' is devoted to mocking them.
** "When I woke up, she was lying there / I pulled her liver out of my hair (though he attributes this line to Creator/StephenKing).
* TestosteronePoisoning: ''Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys'' is freaking ''made'' of this trope.
* ToadLicking: "I'd like to remind all my readers, especially you impressionable young people, that if you must lick a toad, make sure it's wearing a condom. Thank you."
* TotallyRadical: "If you read your newspaper carefully, you'll notice that you're seeing fewer stories with uninviting, incomprehensible, newspaper-ese headlines like PANEL NIXES TRADE PACT, and more punchy, "with-it" headlines designed to appeal to today's young people, like PANEL NIXES TRADE PACT, DUDE."
* TradeSnark: ''Dave Barry In Cyberspace'' features a RunningGag of referring to Microsoft's products with trademark symbols after the names, including one long sequence in which other bizarre symbols are put after things, such as "Windows 95[[superscript:BILLGATESISAWIENER]]."
* TrueArtIsIncomprehensible:[[invoked]] Barry constantly jokes about modern art. There was one column about an exhibit in Miami called ''The Lights Going On and Off'' which was ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. Another column referenced an artist who sold cans of his own feces as art.
--> "The work is titled ''Rubbish Bag'', and to judge from the photograph in the Times, it is a standard black plastic garbage bag, just like the ones you put your garbage in, except that you have to pay people to haul your garbage bags away, whereas Floyer got $47,000 for hers. There is a compelling reason for this: Floyer's bag is empty. That's what makes it artistic."
--> "An alert reader named Jane Weaver sent me an article from the London Daily Express stating that Bedford Creative Arts decided to pay a performance artist named Andre Stitt about $19,000 to, among other innovative things, kick an empty takeout-curry carton through the center of town. In case you're wondering why that would be artistic, the answer, as far as I can tell, is that Stitt was going to wear silver platform boots. Tragically, this work of art had to be canceled. It got a lot of media attention, and Bedford art officials were afraid that too many people would show up to watch. Don't you just HATE it when the public shows up to watch public art, paid for by the public?"
* UnusualEuphemism: "Duck shoe," "a very bad word that, to protect its identity, I will refer to as 'wucking,'" and so forth. Some come from the fact that he wrote for a family newspaper (it's got a wife and a baby newspaper back home) that won't let him swear; others are just [[RuleOfFunny for the sake of being silly]].
** There's also the time he got revenge on two newspapers (the Portland ''Oregonian'' and St. Louis ''Post-Dispatch'') that refused to print a column he wrote about Beano on the grounds that it was tasteless...by writing a column about circumcision, in which he described the operation as "taking hold of a guy's Oregonian and snipping his Post-Dispatch right off." He continued to use these two codewords throughout the article.
** In an article about low-flush toilets, he refers to "Number two" as "an act of Congress." He closes the article with "Congress is just full of acts."
** Deliberately invoked in one of the "discussion questions" in ''Dave Barry Slept Here''.
-->How come there are never any sex scenes in history books? You know, like "James Madison, unable to restrain his passion any longer, thrust his ink-engorged pen into the second draft of the Federalist papers."
* WeirdnessMagnet: Dave often attributes the seemingly disproportionate number of weird events that happen in Florida to what he calls the Giant Underground Weirdness Magnet.
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