History Creator / DaveBarry

3rd Apr '17 6:20:05 AM john_e
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* EvenBeggarsWontChooseIt: [[http://archives.chicagotribune.com/1986/07/06/page/139/article/dave-barry On consumer electronics:]]
-->So as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate your current VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and hurl it into a dumpster.
16th Mar '17 8:50:05 AM morenohijazo
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* WaitingSkeleton: Dave Barry [[http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1937626.html once riffed]] that Customer Service must be filled with corpses since nobody's ever been able to get through to a live person. Therefore the obvious solution is to transfer the guys over from Telemarketing (who everyone hates anyway) and make them answer the Customer Service phones instead.
7th Feb '17 8:09:50 PM Sollers
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** He gives one to the [[http://www.davebarry.com/gg/newyork.html entire city of New York]] after the ''New York Times'' wrote an article that unfavorably portrayed his hometown of Miami.



* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Wrote a column advocating a tax of $50,000 per instance per year on any business employing it in their title and signage. (e.g. "Ye Olde Shoppe" should be charged $150,000/year.) Any more than that, and the owner should be taken out and shot.

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* YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe: Wrote a column advocating a tax of $50,000 per instance per year on any business employing it in their title and signage. (e.g. "Ye Olde Shoppe" should be charged $150,000/year.) Any more than that, that (such as "Ye Olde Barne Shoppe"), and the owner should be taken out and shot.
4th Feb '17 1:31:39 PM eroock
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* BilledAboveTheTitle: Because of his fame you'll see his name in big letters above his book titles, like [[https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51KFrLi6TeL._SX331_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg here]].
27th Dec '16 6:38:02 PM ImpudentInfidel
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** Examined in more detail in ''Best State Ever''; he notes that most of the famous "Florida Man" incidents don't actually involve Florida natives. His theory is that many people of all types visit Florida, but the stupid ones can't figure out how to leave. That, and that an unknown cosmic force adds a random "weirdness factor" to otherwise normal events.
22nd Nov '16 7:38:21 AM ImpudentInfidel
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** And Your Brother Raoul from the ''Travel Guide''.

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** And The Fish of Your Brother Raoul from the ''Travel Guide''.
15th Nov '16 7:41:53 AM NateTheGreat
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*** The same book also has an article in which he talks about when his son was hospitalized after being in a car accident. He even lampshades it in the end: "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be a hilarious column about how Beth and I were getting ready to go our for a nice dinner at 6 P.M. and wound up eating lukewarm cheeseburgers at 11 P.M. on a table in the Miami Children's Hospital emergency room; and how Rob, after politely thanking a very nice nurse for helping him sit up, threw up on her; and other comical events. But this is how the column turned out. Next week I promise to return to Booger Journalism."

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*** The same book also has an article in which he talks about when his son was hospitalized after being in a car accident. He even lampshades it in the end: "I'm end:
-->''I'm
sorry. This was supposed to be a hilarious column about how Beth and I were getting ready to go our for a nice dinner at 6 P.M. and wound up eating lukewarm cheeseburgers at 11 P.M. on a table in the Miami Children's Hospital emergency room; and how Rob, after politely thanking a very nice nurse for helping him sit up, threw up on her; and other comical events. But this is how the column turned out. Next week I promise to return to Booger Journalism."''



--> The most moving exhibits, for me, are videos in which survivors describe, matter-of-factly, what was done to them solely because they were Jews. After two hours I walk out into the bright sunlight with tears streaming down my face, holding tight to my daughter.
--> My Jewish daughter.

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--> The -->''The most moving exhibits, for me, are videos in which survivors describe, matter-of-factly, what was done to them solely because they were Jews. After two hours I walk out into the bright sunlight with tears streaming down my face, holding tight to my daughter.
-->
daughter. My Jewish daughter.''
28th Oct '16 1:24:58 PM nombretomado
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* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: A recurring trope. He once described 1963 and 1968 as "A Long String of Bummers," starting with [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Kennedy's assassination]], followed by the election of goofy-looking UsefulNotes/LyndonJohnson, the UsefulNotes/VietnamWar and its associated controversies, more assassinations and riots, and GilligansIsland being cancelled.

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* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking: A recurring trope. He once described 1963 and 1968 as "A Long String of Bummers," starting with [[UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy Kennedy's assassination]], followed by the election of goofy-looking UsefulNotes/LyndonJohnson, the UsefulNotes/VietnamWar and its associated controversies, more assassinations and riots, and GilligansIsland ''Series/GilligansIsland'' being cancelled.
17th Oct '16 3:31:05 PM ImpudentInfidel
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* ''Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland'' (2016)
11th Sep '16 7:42:44 PM NWolfman
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** In his essay "My Hollywood Career," theorizes that the only reason so many bad movies get made is because so many ''worse'' movies get pitched, therefore making the slightly less awful movies look better by comparison. He supports this theory by describing a pitch session for [[Film/HowardTheDuck a movie about anthropomorphic duck from another dimension who comes to earth, works in a sauna, defeats a cigarette lighter-powered monster and ends up managing a rock back]]... before clarifying that this is the plot of a real movie.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Creator.DaveBarry