This is much closer to an outline than an actual fanfic. Thus, it is good mostly in the idea rather than the quality of the writing.
It is quite short, which is fine. The general premise is that it examines Alexander during the period when Rosella is off searching for the cure to Graham's illness.
Again, this is a great premise, but the writing makes it fairly bland. It has some problems deciding who's perspective the story is told from. It starts in Alex's head, then jumps into Graham's without any warning or a scene cut. Then it jumps back to Alex for the last few paragraphs.
The writing never really lets us experience what Alex is feeling; it just tells us it. This dramatically lessens the impact of the very well considered idea that's trying to be communicated.
Also, there are no scene descriptions, and physical descriptions of people are minimal. Thus, you get disembodied brain syndrome, where you get the impression that everyone is a floating brain communicating telepathically with one another within a formless void.
Overall, this fic is a testament to the fact that a good idea is the beginning of a good story, not the end.
FanficRecs Nice idea, poorly executed
This is much closer to an outline than an actual fanfic. Thus, it is good mostly in the idea rather than the quality of the writing.
It is quite short, which is fine. The general premise is that it examines Alexander during the period when Rosella is off searching for the cure to Graham's illness.
Again, this is a great premise, but the writing makes it fairly bland. It has some problems deciding who's perspective the story is told from. It starts in Alex's head, then jumps into Graham's without any warning or a scene cut. Then it jumps back to Alex for the last few paragraphs.
The writing never really lets us experience what Alex is feeling; it just tells us it. This dramatically lessens the impact of the very well considered idea that's trying to be communicated.
Also, there are no scene descriptions, and physical descriptions of people are minimal. Thus, you get disembodied brain syndrome, where you get the impression that everyone is a floating brain communicating telepathically with one another within a formless void.
Overall, this fic is a testament to the fact that a good idea is the beginning of a good story, not the end.