Amdijefri: A brilliant twist on the Peggy Sue — I don't know if it's original to this fic, but it was new to me. Completely obvious in retrospect. I should have spotted the existence of a Merlin much sooner.
Psalm of Fire: The fic is swiftly paced in many places, making me feel as if I'm just reading the highlight reel, and ponderous in others where Harry spends his time stressing over the same issues. It does strike a happy medium semi-regularly though.
The writing itself is peppered with over-explanations ("That's ridiculous, you're driving me crazy," he said, annoyed) and adverbs. Grammar, punctuation, capitalization, spacing, all are very good.
The Dialog is good, and almost entirely in-character.
Frequent flashbacks to horrible times are hard to read — like the awful cough medicine you're supposed to take because it's good for you so that you might appreciate the story more. I've been conditioned to cringe every time I see italics.
But my mind breaks at the way he treats causality. So let me get this straight, your great plan was to let the glance=kill basilisk run around the school with all the people you've loved and come back to save? And you think that every person this basilisk encounters is going to be just as lucky as last time and only ever see the filtered/reflected image of the eyes? And you're willing to risk their deaths, their deaths, when there are alternatives? I would call it lazy writing but the author is not lazy. Harry went along with this decision, nay, only contested it for Ginny's sake as if she were the only one at risk. At that point my suspension of disbelief shattered into many little pieces on the floor. It just seems so... heartless, unintentional though it may be.
To be fair, they do seem to learn a lesson from the Chamber, and Harry openly admits that it was a mistake to try to let things play out. After the chamber, the plot diverges far more.
Also, if we're going to compare this to Nightmares of Future Past it is important to mention that S'Tar Kan writes on a very emotional level, ladling it up thickly for one scene or another. Bw P strives to incorporate emotion and does, but the individual moments I've encountered [[up to chapter 9]] have never had as much build/preparation or payoff. Don't level such expectations against this fic, lest you forget to enjoy it.
Perhaps the author wasn't creating a bunch of "take that"s at No FP. But if you don't like Harry's approach in No FP, this more inclusion-oriented approach may be for you.
Conclusion: I recommend you read it, but also that you keep your expectations reserved. A lot more love and effort went into this than went into much of what you will find, and for that I must give full props to the author though I remain reserved on the fic. Good work, DWP.
Moving comments to reviews pt 2
Amdijefri: A brilliant twist on the Peggy Sue — I don't know if it's original to this fic, but it was new to me. Completely obvious in retrospect. I should have spotted the existence of a Merlin much sooner.
Psalm of Fire: The fic is swiftly paced in many places, making me feel as if I'm just reading the highlight reel, and ponderous in others where Harry spends his time stressing over the same issues. It does strike a happy medium semi-regularly though.
The writing itself is peppered with over-explanations ("That's ridiculous, you're driving me crazy," he said, annoyed) and adverbs. Grammar, punctuation, capitalization, spacing, all are very good. The Dialog is good, and almost entirely in-character.
Frequent flashbacks to horrible times are hard to read — like the awful cough medicine you're supposed to take because it's good for you so that you might appreciate the story more. I've been conditioned to cringe every time I see italics.
But my mind breaks at the way he treats causality. So let me get this straight, your great plan was to let the glance=kill basilisk run around the school with all the people you've loved and come back to save? And you think that every person this basilisk encounters is going to be just as lucky as last time and only ever see the filtered/reflected image of the eyes? And you're willing to risk their deaths, their deaths, when there are alternatives? I would call it lazy writing but the author is not lazy. Harry went along with this decision, nay, only contested it for Ginny's sake as if she were the only one at risk. At that point my suspension of disbelief shattered into many little pieces on the floor. It just seems so... heartless, unintentional though it may be.
To be fair, they do seem to learn a lesson from the Chamber, and Harry openly admits that it was a mistake to try to let things play out. After the chamber, the plot diverges far more.
Also, if we're going to compare this to Nightmares of Future Past it is important to mention that S'Tar Kan writes on a very emotional level, ladling it up thickly for one scene or another. Bw P strives to incorporate emotion and does, but the individual moments I've encountered [[up to chapter 9]] have never had as much build/preparation or payoff. Don't level such expectations against this fic, lest you forget to enjoy it.
Perhaps the author wasn't creating a bunch of "take that"s at No FP. But if you don't like Harry's approach in No FP, this more inclusion-oriented approach may be for you.
Conclusion: I recommend you read it, but also that you keep your expectations reserved. A lot more love and effort went into this than went into much of what you will find, and for that I must give full props to the author though I remain reserved on the fic. Good work, DWP.