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crazysamaritan [=NaNo=] 4328 / 50,000 Since: Apr, 2010
[=NaNo=] 4328 / 50,000
09/16/2013 18:53:49 •••

Great concept, weak execution

The parody elements are there, as well as a decent familiarity with the cast personalities. The pop-culture references are a bit overdone, likely to make the work dated in a decade, and the grammar/syntax needs improvement.

If you don't mind reading a first draft, the story is enjoyable.


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