All Purpose Negima Fanfiction Thread

Louise was in a foul mood the next morning. Mostly because Kirche seemed as upbeat as ever, and that caused wonderful motions. But let's not talk about jiggle physics now. The rest was caused because she was still worried sick of her familiar.

And because that maid had seemed awfully close to him when she left him to rest and recover...

“I'm bored of all this studying.” Such a flimsy justification to spend the free hour they'd been given by courtesy of Colbert not showing up doing god knows what to the onlookers. Everyone seemed mesmerized by the movements of the twins. “With all this commotion about Fouquet, there's no time for a lecture.”

Well, at least that was something Louise could agree with. It wasn't an unjustified absence. After all, the ones that had pretty much disregarded the vault were the school. Not that she particularly minded, protecting the princess was top priority, anyway. “I know.”

There was a problem, though. “Three are rumors that the princess will have to take responsibility.”

And Louise understood why. As any noble worth their salt, she'd been taught the basics of politics. The merest basics, anyway. “It's stupid. The princess had nothing to do with leaving the vault unguarded.”

“Fouquet got in because the normal guard had been taken to protect her.” It was rare to see Kirche actually serious for a change, but it was not an unwelcome sight. “Several officials tried to stop her from doing so, but it seems she chose to come anyway.” And whilst it was a dumb move as a regent, at least Kirche could respect that much.

Colbert came rushing into the classroom. “Miss Valliere, Miss Tabitha” and several people noticed nobody had actually ever heard Tabitha's surname... “Come to the headmaster's office right now.” He seemed to be in quite a hurry... or simply out of breath from running.

Louise felt weird walking there without her familiar's shadow behind her.

The school's teachers were assembled and formed, which wasn't an odd sight. Seeing Old Osmond not act like a perverted jackass for once just rubbed in the gravity of the situation.

For some reason, nobody was kicking Kirche out, though Louise let it go. As long as she kept quiet, she could be ignored, anyway. “After obtaining information in town, there are reports of a suspicious person being seen running into the forest, into an abandoned shack.” Longueville stated, her head making a pass as it looked over the students and teachers, then making sure there wasn't a mouse trying to peek under her skirt.

“It's amazing how fast Ms. Longueville gathers information.” Osmond spoke, clear relief in his voice.

“Out of the reports given, I drew this to the best of my ability...” Longueville continued, handing Old Osmond a rolled scroll. Everyone had to admit, she was a good artist for having drawn that in such short notice and with the likely vague descriptions she could have been given.

“What do you think?” Osmond asked the two witnesses.

“Exact match.” Tabitha said, not raising her voice the slightest bit. Louise nodded. Unlike her familiar, she'd actually been aiming at the small figure in the golem's shoulder.

“That is Fouquet, there's no mistaking it.” Louise agreed.

“We should report this to the royal court immediately and ask for reinforcements.” Colbert spoke, sounding not entirely concerned, something odd for the balding teacher.

“If we lose time doing that, then Fouquet will see it coming.” Osmond corrected. “We must recover the staff of destruction and bring it back to the academy while the thief is hiding.”

He then opened his eyes and looked over the teachers. “Those who agree with me, raise your wands.” No teacher did so. For Colbert, it would've been complicated anyway, given he was actually carrying a staff. “What is the problem?” he asked. “None of you wish to gain fame for capturing Fouquet?”

Of course, Louise raised her wand immediately after the mission was stated. “I will go.” She said, determined as ever.

“Miss Valliere?” Colbert asked, tilting his head. “Isn't your familiar wounded?” He thought she would actually prefer to stay with him.

“Yes.” And to anyone who had any ability to read subtext, her intentions were clear. For the sake of clarity, I'll translate them to common, every day speech. 'Bitch hurt my familiar and I'm gonna spank her, yo.'

“I'll go too!” Kirche jumped into the bandwagon rather hastily. Something that surprised Louise. “I won't lose to a Valliere!”

“Zerbst...” Although it was hard to get mad at her, for some reason. Stupid boob monster.

“Tabitha..?” Kirche was left somewhat perplexed by how Tabitha had joined them without having had to convince her. “You don't have to.”

“Worried about you.” She replied, in her usual extremely low tone.

“Thank you.” Oddly enough, Louise seemed to be blushing when she said so. A certain specific event came back to her, although she decided to block from her memory at the moment.

“Then, you three...” Osmond began, as he considered his options. “I'm counting on you.”

He then gave them another once over. “Miss Tabitha, even though you are young, you received the title of Chevalier...”

Two jaws fell. “Really?” two mages asked in unison. Disturbingly synchronized unison.

She just nodded in response, as if it wasn't a big deal.

“On top of that, Miss Zerbst comes from a family with an illustrious military past.” To be quite frank, Osmond seemed a bit giddier than usual that evening. “I have heard you are a powerful fire mage yourself.” he added.

He turned to Louise. “Miss Valliere...” He began, growing serious almost instantly. “You also come from a family that has given great magicians.” Louise smirked in pride at the praise. “However...”

“You have great potential, although your aim appears skewed.” Osmond grew jovial again. “I believe some experience in battle could fix that.”

Louise tilted her head. How did he actually know that? Colbert was whistling an innocent tune.

“However, your familiar is an enigma to all of us.”

“That's right, he is the legendary gand-” Colbert stopped suddenly breaking into a (very) fake coughing fit.

“In either case, he appears to be a powerful mage of his own accord.” Osmond continued. “While this is unheard of for Familiars, I believe this is just another asset. Our academy is counting on you.”

“Old Osmond,” It was kind of funny to hear Longueville refer to him like that “I could accompany them as their guide.”

“Would you, Miss Longueville?” He didn't seem too pleased with his nickname, but he still appeared as cordial as ever.

Fakes

The Inn:

"Welcome back, Ayaka," Chizuru warmly said from where she sat soaking in the open air baths, alone and submerged up to her generous chest.

"Good evening, Chizuru-san," the blonde aknowledge with a nod, undoing the small white towel around her body and stepping into the water with Naba. "I only came for a brief soak before bedtime. I won't take long."

"How was your afternoon with Nelly-san?" Chizuru casually asked, relaxing back and shifting around subtly to cross one long leg over the other.

Ayaka took a moment to smile, pretending a smile. "Oh! Oh, that. It was very nice. Nelly-san was as likable and agreeable as ever."

Chizuru hummed briefly before asking again. "Well, and what did you manage to learn about the people who attacked us?"

"There's no new information on that," the other girl said, as if she was reluctant but tried to hold herself from showing it.

Chizuru nodded. Already, she could feel something off about Ayaka. The Class Rep was the type that rarely stopped at single-sentence answers, much less when Negi's fiancee-cousin and threats to the class' safety were involved. Ayaka loved to rant and explain herself at lenght, never saving any outrage for those who had offended or threatened her and her classmates. Just to be sure, he tried another approach.

"Have you seen Asuna-san?"

"She arrived shortly after us," Ayaka said.

"Ah. She was with Negi-sensei, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was."

A nod, and that was it. Now Chizuru knew, despite all her formal niceness and calm behavior, or precisely because of them, something was wrong with Ayaka.

"How odd. Are you okay with them being together all day long?"

"What reason is there to worry? Asuna-san is into older men."

"That never stopped you from worrying when you saw them together before, however..."

Ayaka paused, as if the parameters of what to answer were shifting inside of her head. That clued Chizuru further in. Ayaka was never slow to supply an angry answer at that kind of queries. Even when Chizuru was the one asking them.

"I have no reason to be jealous about Asuna-san!" she ended up saying, as if that explained everything. Had it been anyone but Ayaka, it would have truly explained it.

Chizuru edged closer to her. "Ayaka?"

"Yes, Chizuru-san?"

"Show me your card, please?"

"Which card?"

"The card you got yourself last night. The one you told me about this morning. You got it when you kissed Negi-sensei last night."

"I have no idea which card are you talking about..."

Chizuru stepped out of the water and, without any attempt to cover herself, walked back to her own clothes. She reached into them and pulled her Suka card out. "One like this. Remember?"

"Oh, oh, well... I left it at my room."

"Ara, ara. How strange. I'd never imagine you wouldn't always carry a memento of your kiss with Negi around..."

"Well, yes, but I simply... forgot..."

"Even if that Negi only was a paper clone," Chizuru stated decisively.

Ayaka's mouth opened itself, but no sound came out.

"Ayaka," Chizuru walked slowly to stand right before her, still not bothering to cover herself. "You never 'forget' anything related to Negi-sensei."

"P-Paper clone?" Ayaka said weakly.

"Well, I kissed one as well. I saw him exploding on my face," Chizuru explained evenly, before croching down and reaching over to place a hand on Ayaka's left cheek. The hand slowly wandered down the now pale (almost paper-white) face, until it stopped at those soft pink lips, lightly caressing one of their corners. Ayaka only twitched in place, as if she had absolutely no idea what to do. "Well. I wonder if you'd explode too," Chizuru smiled, almost sadly.

"P-Paper... clone...? Copy...?" Ayaka's mind seemed to be struggling with the concept, as if it was something she somehow wasn't allowed to consider.

"You seem much better made, however," Chizuru pondered it quietly, teasing the lower lip with a manicured finger nail. "I think... I think you could take it..."

"C-C-Chizuru-san?"

"You should be screaming at me now, Ayaka," she sighed. "That's what I love the most about you. How you always speak your mind. In that, you're so much like Asuna-chan, no wonder you love each other that much."

"A-Asuna-san and me... don't..." Again, the words seemed to come with difficulty. There was no vehement cry. No loud indignation. Only a confusion that wasn't even terrified. She was like a machine flashing error messages.

Still, she was so much like her Ayaka...

"I wish I could be like that," Chizuru confessed. "I must live a lie at all times, but I wish so much for its end. I wish I could tell to your face how much I love you, how much I've loved you since my first year of living with you. When I had to maneuver you into moving with Makie-san, that was the second saddest part of my life, after my mother's death. I'm so sorry, my dear Ayaka."

Her other hand travelled down the smooth wet back, looking for the crack at the end.

Copy Ayaka shuddered in place. She was sensitive despite everything. Well, she was based on Ayaka, after all.

Chizuru kissed the back of her neck. Ayaka didn't fall apart, so that was a good sign. "Ah. Superior craftmanship, indeed. Good. I won't have to explain Natsumi why you disappeared again, then..."

And she went for Ayaka's lips.

She would make a nice consolation prize for now.

Whose Line Is It Anyway?

"Our topic!" Asakura declared, reading from the card she drew from a hat. "Things you can say about a basket of fruit, but not about Negi-kun!"

"Ooh!" Yuuna said, stepping forward. "I wanna stick that banana in my mouth!"

There was general laughter from the audience as Negi reddened.

Haruna stepped forward. "How nice and fruity!"

Off to the side, Fate and Kotaro twitched.

Misa skipped in. "Wow, these feel so good up my—!"

"VIOLATION!" Chisame declared.

Off in the wings, Ayaka sighed as the audience laughed. "Whose bright idea was it to have a festival show based on a show Drew Carey hosted?"

Meanwhile...

Negi Springfield knew where his specialty lay. He had often been told that the one thing that had permitted catching up to the great monsters of his world was a simple one. One that he was now abusing for all it was worth. His highest ability lay not in combat, but on the work table. Granted, he had a pitiful excuse for a work table, but it would do anyway. Louise's desk was tinier than what he could procure in a plane he could control with his mind.

He was starting to miss Evangeline's Scroll.

At least the language was simple enough when he actually managed to decipher what every symbol stood for. It resembled archaic French at first glance, but a deeper look had pretty much confirmed his suspicion. It was amusing, really, how the written and spoken parts of the language differed so greatly.

The symbols were ornate and could probably be simplified, there had to be a way to write faster, because it'd take forever with a pen. He'd ask Louise about it later, for the moment he was running through all the material on the summoning ritual he could gather.

If there was a way in, there was a way out. He didn't particularly enjoy the prospect of leaving Louise alone to fend for herself, but he had too much to do. Besides, she could presumably just summon him back.

However, everything he read just described the theological meaning behind the ritual and how to perform it. Manipulation of willpower? He wasn't really surprised to see that it went against everything he'd been taught. Although Rakan could probably make sense of it. None of it's properties were described in much detail, though.

And he was certain Louise had a veritable library on that subject alone. He'd have to find higher sources. Derflinger, despite being quite old from his own admission, wasn't a great source of information either.

He was surprised when an arm was placed on his shoulder, startling him out of his concentration. “You're working hard.” A cup of tea was served to him from above.

“Thank you, Chachamaru.”

He faltered. Blinked. Then looked up to a confused maid. “I... I'm sorry.” He said. “I was just distracted...”

Siesta tilted her head, confused. “What is a 'Chachamaru'?”

… She was less taken aback with the explanation than he'd expected.

“So, your secretary and lover?”

“One of them, yes.” He admitted, feeling the urge to fidget right now.

“Partner, one of these days, you ought to tell me how many there were.”

“Secretaries or lovers?”

Turns out, Siesta was surprisingly pleasant company. One thing he'd learned was that speaking your problems out loud can help you find a way around them, and Siesta was lending him an ear, so why not? Granted, by the time the study session had ended, he only had one clear lead in.

He'd need a noble test subject to check one of his theories.

The other things that had come up were rather simple. After probing from Siesta, he'd entertained a given thought. Could commoners actually learn magic? Siesta was quite eager to be a test subject for that one theory.

And after that one, he wondered if he could actually help Louise with her own magic. Their systems were completely different. However, basic problems he could help with. If it was her overpowering her spells, it'd be easily fixed. If she was truly incapable of using magic that required incantations, then there were other ways she could use magic.

It'd take a while to teach her, but he'd use the time to gain a deeper understanding of her own magic system.

He'd wasted far more than enough time already. If his plan had once worked to make an alliance between Mundus Magicus and Earth, then surely, he could make it work again. He just needed to find a way to build his own gateport.

That one could be a bit difficult.