A quivering, wet eye stares into a screen. It does not blink.

The last twenty minutes or so of your life was spent in a room. Flourescent tube lights cast the bare place, like a waiting room with no doors, in a stark white light. There was a bench on one side, and a small table next to it with some pamphlets.

Those papers were very obviously photocopies and not very good ones, though perhaps you're not exactly familiar with what Xeroxes are. Nevertheless, the pamphlet read:

At the exact same moment you stopped reading the front side of the pamphlet, and I hope you did because it's fulla important information, you'd notice quite a few people in the room. A woman with an uncomfortable amount of guns, a large pig, a pale woman, a different pale woman, a lawman with a big iron on his hip, a heavily armored tank, a girl with an expressive hat, some guy, some pregnant guy and an anime child were among those who existed and you could possibly see.

All of them, in a room that's maybe 25 feet by 25 feet. The tank took up the majority of the space.

Mayu ignored the pamphlets and gathering of strange folk to instead exert all of his energy walking to the furthest corner from the tank and lying down in it.

Harry Armanny and the 2020 Super Bowl Championship

Harry Armanny had just finished killing Voldemort and winning the 2020 Super Bowl World Series Championship (author's note: I don't know if that's what is actually called but this is my first fic so please be nice). Harmanny was crowned the King of Magic and Sports and Getting With The Hotties and now is seem like there are no more worlds to cross or roads to conquer BUT JUST THEN he fell through the portal and wheeze (authors not I wasn't using punctuation so i had to take a breathe).

Armanny, I don't know where everyone is because I didn't read the first plost pease don't ban me wikkitpedia

Ok so that happened and now Armanny was in the place with the characters. He was wearing a hot topic shirt that said "SEXY" on it and his chin was even bigger than normal because he was a few months pregnant now. He was wearing about 14 belts and those pants with the things on them (author's note: I really didn't know what kind of pants to give him so I'm just going to move on to the next thing I guess). He had on tons of eyeliner and a Guy Fieri wig and looked really cool and sexy at the same time.

He walked over to the others and introduced himself.

"Hi my name is Armanny and I am a wizard but also a demigod and football champion and my parents were both killed in a tragic accident when I was two. I hope to have lots of fun here and make friends and maybe get some pizza I've been craving pizza ever since I started having my chinbaby please does anyone have pizza."

Meeting Room (Big Pete, Others) ~ Hello and Goodbye

The large pig was in fact extremely large. In fact, it was incredible he and the tank were able to share the same space at all, let alone with enough space for everyone else. He looked rather confused, and indeed he was, but not for the reasons the others might have expected. A multidimensional trigod would have certainly seen some odd things during his time, anyway.

No, the real reason he was confused was how he wound up in this room in the first place, and why he had bothered to stand around here for twenty minutes when Multidimensional System #3 was in the midst of a terrible dimensional crisis. Nevertheless, he at least bothered to read the pamphlets offered...or at least tried to.

"These make no sense," he said aloud, with a voice so loud that the very walls shook, "Whoever is in charge of this multidimensional system clearly needs better spellcheckers." There was a moment's pause. "Unless this is Lazy Pete's idea of a joke, and I suspect not as Lazy Pete would be too lazy to set all of this up. And this dimension's signature does not match that of MDS #3."

Then he turned to the others.

"But I shall introduce myself regardless...BOIS." At that last deep word the entire room shook so hard that it was a miracle that it didn't collapse.

"My name is Massive Peter Giganticus the Large. Otherwise known as Big Pete. I talk very loud, because I'm big, yo. My hobbies include gaming and street racing, and I love to listen to hip-hop music. I am friends with two powerful brothers, whose names shall not be mentioned. I have been a member of the Order of the Dark Oats for many years, and I also happen to be a trigod for Multidimensional System #3."

He briefly glanced at the apparently pregnant man when he went to introduce himself. Big Pete understood him perfectly, but opted to not address any of it.

"And that is enough information for now." It was debatable whether he was speaking to Armanny, or was simply referring to what he had already said. "I would have to kill you if I told you anything more. More importantly, I do not have time to be here. Multidimensional System #3 is in the midst of a dimensional crisis, and if I do not return it will fall apart. As there seems to be nothing here stopping me from leaving, I must bid you all farewell...BOIS."

Quietly, which for him was what would be a normal speaking voice would be for anyone else, "There doesn't appear to be any oats here, anyway...."

"Toodaloo~"

At that, Big Pete vanished in a static-like dissolution and returned to Multidimensional System #3, for his signup did not properly nerf him and thus he remained powerful enough to supersede the will of whatever multidimensional mishap brought him here in the first place. At least those who remained not only had much more space to move around in, in addition to no longer worrying about Big Pete collapsing the room around them just by talking.

Edited by Yomegami on Apr 5th 2019 at 4:12:20 AM

Somewhere in the room, there sat an angry woman with a lot of guns. She was young, and not in her mid-30s to mid-40s so don't get confused. She looked up from the paper she was holding.

"What the fuck is this stupid shit?" She asked.

Kayne looked up from where she was polishing her guns with a spare rag.

"A dimensional brouhaha with terrible accomodations so far," she said drily. "I've seen better translations from universal conquerors!"

"I'm Kayne, an extradimensional Wandering Scholar, and this is Moko, my hat," Kayne introduced herself and pointed to the hat on her head.

"Good day," the hat introduced himself politely.

Edited by JumpingFruit on Apr 20th 2019 at 6:35:13 AM

Defense, Initial Space: Massive F*cking Confusion

Defense read the note with utter contempt.

"So. I've been dumped from a room full of idiots to a room full of strangers. Amazing. So, I'm Defense, and I'm gonna follow the big pig out of this world. Goodbye-"

And right then, he rammed into the wall. Seems they disabled Shortcuts. Damn.

"Well, that didn't work. Nice to meet you, I guess."

"Holy shit, what the fuck is going on"

Quite literally growing into place from an infinitesimal point, a speaker box appeared from the wall. A woman's voice came out of it, and could only continue to express confusion.

"Why the fuck is there a tank here? Who are all of you people? You're not the ones we ordered at all! Where did the pig go?!"

There was a furious shuffling around of papers even audible over the roar of the Type 6 Heavy's engine. "You're...oh fuck, you're supposed to be the..."

The microphone cut out, and all of a sudden, a wall fell out from the wall in front of them like a cheap stage backdrop. Behind that, several pristine go karts were sitting there, illuminated only by spotlight in an otherwise dark room. One of those karts was also, like, 20 feet long. In general, it was kind of hard to imagine why go karts of all things were around here, but that's what happened! I don't choose this, I just write it as I see it.

"Oh come on...don't go in there! It's not ready yet!"

She was surrounded by freaks and idiots. Wonderful. She was now wishing for the demons. Congratulations, nameless kidnappers. One of the freaks stepped out of existence, and left. She really wish he'd shared the trick before he did that. Then a speaker appeared out of nowhere, and some voice started bitching about a pig. She lifted a pistol, and shot the speaker, in a vain effort to shut the voice up. A wall fell as she did that, and there were carts of some sort in front of her.

"Is that what I'm here to blow up? If I blow them up, can I go home?"

Mayu fell asleep.

Mysterious Villaness J- Somewhere, Someplace, Sometime.

"... Excuse me, the fuck?"

It was not known what she was referring to when breaking the rule. The situation, the pregnant man, the pig just vanishing. She could be meaning all of this.

Or the go-karts.

"Oh god, no. My not-nephew told me about this. I'm not going to prison, dammit!"

Speaking of not-nephew, they did need to talk about that girl she was with... She might be a bad influence.

Edited by Boomer75 on Apr 6th 2019 at 2:45:31 PM