Enter The Arena As Your Avatar -- The Spinoff!

"The hell is a movie?" asks Mordecai.

"If the Pandora you're thinking of isn't a shithole where every man, woman, child, and animal is a born killer and the primary currency is guns, it's the wrong planet."

Postal dude is taken aback. He whispers to himself “And all because I didn’t get some rocky road ice cream.” Then in a normal voice, he asks “Ok, so you want to get out of this shithole? Or are we gonna die here, knowing full well we could’ve at least tried to leave?”

Edited by Risdio51 on Aug 3rd 2020 at 3:09:37 PM

Mordecai shakes his head. "We ain't on Pandora, is the thing. I dunno where we are, I just fell asleep in my lookout tower one night and woke up here. But compared to Pandora, this place, despite constant wars and drama, is bliss."

He pulls another bottle out of nowhere and starts drinking.

Edited by KiriK on Aug 3rd 2020 at 12:13:03 PM

Suddenly, the bottle shatters with a gunshot, as the dude has pulled a Desert Eagle out of his coat. He starts to sound a little pissed

“Listen, I get that some dick killed your bird. That’s fine to drink about, but we both need each other to get home. Also, how does war make anything better? Have you ever heard the Edwin Starr song?”

"It don't!" Mordecai snaps.

"War is hell, and this is how I cope! But there's less of it here than on Pandora, so I'm not fucking budging! If you got a problem with that, then fuck off!"

The Dude sighs. “Sssssshhhhit”. He then pulls out a grenade, pulls out the pin and simply tosses it on the ground. “Then don’t budge in hell.”

Mordecai simply stands there and waits for the grenade to go off.

When it does, he is launched back, an energy shield shimmering around him that absorbed the explosion.

"So it's war, then."

He pulls out a wicked-looking SMG and goes full-auto, rapid-fire spraying bullets at the Dude. They're not very accurate, but every shot fires three at once.

Edited by KiriK on Aug 3rd 2020 at 12:29:20 PM

The dude pulls out a machete, and throws it like a boomerang, hoping to hit Mordecai.

The machete sticks into Mordecai's shoulder, seemingly breaking his energy shield, but he just rushes the Dude with a sword and swings it at him in retaliation.

Combat rule #1 (already mentioned): Don't write your attacks like they're definitely hitting the enemy. Combat rule #2: To go along with rule #1, when you are attacked, you should say whether the enemy's attack succeeds or not. Otherwise, nobody would ever be visibly hitting anybody else. It's an honor-system thing.

Edited by KiriK on Aug 3rd 2020 at 1:00:29 AM

Eastmarch, Steamcrag Camp

Pietro dashes about left and right in the giants' camp of Steamcrag Camp, striking at various imaginary foes.

Postal Dude, seeing the sword, is unfazed and takes out a scythe and starts swinging, blocking the sword swing.

Edited by Risdio51 on Aug 3rd 2020 at 4:07:29 AM

Mantis is nearby, seemingly without the assistance of Iron Man. She seems to be trying to see Pietro in action, somehow.

Bizarrely though, she moves her head as if she could.

Mordecai jumps back after the clash.

"This is a waste of time," he growls before pulling the machete out of his shoulder and throwing it at Postal Dude's feet.

“Yeah, too bad you were bitching about your bird and booze.”

After capping off his training session with one final blow, Pietro catches sight of Mantis. Greeting her with a smile, he waves her over.

"Long time, no see, Mantis! Like what you saw just now?"

"Only because you -" he points aggressively "- decided the booze was a bigger issue than it needed to be!" Mordecai turns and prepares to storm off in disgust...

And then something starts to make the ground rumble from behind the Dude.

“Ah, great. Earthquakes. Just what I need, really.”

Mordecai pauses and turns around.

"That ain't no earthquake. I'm getting the hell outta here."

He leaves.

From behind the Postal Dude, a bunch of rocks collect together and form into the shape of a towering rock monster.

Battle (Stone Talus)

It makes a rumbly noise and attempts to squash the Dude flat with its big rock fist.

Sorry if this seemed out of nowhere, it kind of was.

“Ah...that’s....problematic...” The Dude dodges, but not fast enough to save his legs. Thankfully, he has a hamburger in his trench coat, so he takes it out and eats it, recovering his legs, somehow.

The Stone Talus lumbers closer to the Dude, but does not attack. It's too slow to attack every turn.

The Dude takes out a spare grenade he had, and chucks it at the Talus, then proceeds to run like hell.

The grenade blows the Talus' arm off, causing it to stumble and collapse, and allowing the Dude to escape.

The Dude manages to escape successfully, and tries to find Mordecai. But, despite his long searchings, he couldn’t find a trace of him.

Anything else you wanted to do with this? Because I'm fresh out of ideas.

Also, the Discord server is the only source of OOC info on the actual setting of the titular "Arena".

Edited by KiriK on Aug 3rd 2020 at 1:41:41 AM

Mantis shakes her head ever so little.

Well I didn't see much, haha!