The All-Purpose 2814 Fanfiction Thread

“Fate-chan!” a voice cried.

Startled, they all turned, and Ilya saw a tall red-haird woman flying towards them. Furry animal ears sprouted from the usual places, and her hot pants and very abbreviated top left little to the imagination. Ilya was immediately struck by breast envy. The woman was almost as stacked as Rider!

Somewhere in the midst of preparations to leave, Rider paused, wondering why her boobs felt warm...

Fate apparently recognized her, breaking out in a smile. “Arf!” she called out, reminding the readers of the familiar’s existence .

The familiar flew towards them, looking chagrined. “Sorry I took so long,” Arf said. “I was napping, so I didn’t hear the computer’s alert, and I couldn’t contact you, and then the barrier went up...!” She lapsed into gasps.

“Breathe Arf, breathe,” Fate soothed.

Arf took deep, shuddering gasps, making Ilya’s breast envy go rampant all over again. “Back-up’s on its way, I think,” she said more calmly. “But it will be a while. Chrono and Yuuno were at the Main Office arrestign a senior TSAB officer for hiding information about hte Book of Darkness. Yuuno’s on his way back now, but even at maximum speed, it’ll be a while before he gets back. The other magical girl groups have gotten word and are on their was, but they weren’t ready, so they’ll be delayed. the Senshi say they’ll be here first, and someone’s been sent to pick up the others. ”

Nanoha grimaced. “So we’re on our own,” she said, her visor hiding her expression. “We need to occupy the Book’s attention, keep it from leaving this area. We need a plan.”

Ilya cautiously looked around the building, scanning the skies until she spotted thier enemy. the unearthly, vaguely purple-ish glow streaked with red and black helped. “I guess the Book was completed when it took Berserker’s core,” she said bitterly, which wasn’t very bitter, not having a lot of practice. “So this is it going out of control, huh? That means it’s already possessed that Hayate girl and it’s counting down to the end of the world, right?” Something still nagged her about that girl. Her name and Caster’s, the 4th Caster’s there was something... for that matter, something about the Book of Darkness’s silver-haired form nagged at her too. She felt she’d seen it somewhere before...

“We should stay well back,” Fate advised cautiously. “Given the power the Book has shown, we’ll need distance to evade any more of such wide-area attacks. I’m probably the only one fast enough to dodge any other such attacks. I’ll close in and occupy her, and you guys attack from a distance.”

“Fate-chan!” Nanoha protested.

Fate shook hergolden hair vehemently. “It’s for the best, Nanoha-chan. Your shooting spells can be safely used at a distance, and I’ve seen how you get affected when one of your constructs is broken by magic. I know you can safely deploy constructs at range. this way, if they break, you’re less vulnerable. you and Ilya can shoot at her while I keep her busy.”

“We keep her busy,” Arf interjected. “I’m almost as fast as you, and I have better defensive spells. I can soften any hits.”

Fate hesitated, but finally nodded.

Nanoha frowned, obviously not liking the plan. her sense of duty didn’t like being placed in the position of less harm, but she had to admit, Fate was better at her at high-speed maneuvers— in-atmosphere, anyway. she was pretty sure she was better than Fate at faster-than-light maneuvers.

…

Reasonably sure.

…

Fairly sure

…

Well, it wasn’t like she’d ever find out.

Nanoha sighed, giving Fate a concerned look. “Be careful, okay Fate-chan?”

Fate managed a smile. “Don’t worry. I will...”

Arf rolled her eyes. “Oh, get a room, master...”

“ARF!” Fate cried, blushing, while Nanoha blinked in confusion.

“You should have seen them earlier,” Ilya told Arf.

“I think I can imagine what it was like,” Arf said. Then she did a double take. “Hey, who are you?”

“Arf, Ilya. Ilya, Arf,” Nanoha said, making introductions.

“Hi...” Ilya said, waving hesitantly.

“Hey,” Arf said. She looked at Nanoha sideways. “So, how’d you end up here? Nanoha blast you in the face with a deathray too?“

“Hey!” Nanoha pouted. “I never aimed for the face!”

“Green Lantern, in position,” Nanoha announced, crouching down amongst the air vents and other assorted paraphernalia on the roof of the building she’d chosen as her firing position. A hologram rendered her invisible, masking her protective aura’s glow. Raging Heart rested on a makeshift construct bipod, pointing where her visor had tagged the enemy.

Several city blocks away and a slight turn clockwise relative to the Book of Darkness, Illya winced, adjusting the green earpiece she wore. “Kaleido Ruby, in position. And not so loud please, I’m still not sure how to adjust the volume of this thing.”

“Sorry. I think I forgot to add that. I’ll just fix my transmission volume.”

“Appreciated.”

Fate and Arf, in position, Fate sent, gripping Bardiche tightly as she stared up at the dark-clad form of the spirit of the Book of Darkness. Her fingers twitched spasmodically without her consent, and she concentrated on stilling them, lest they make her lose her grip in a very unfortunate moment. Why, exactly, had she volunteered herself for this highly suicidal position? Oh, right, she’d been afraid for her friend’s safety and the argument had seemed to make sense at the time. Right now, her fear was telling her– quite loudly, eloquently, repeatedly and with a very reasonable and well thought out argument– that this was an extremely stupid idea, that it was highly detrimental to her continued life-span, that she was likely in for a world of hurt, and that maybe this sort of thing was exactly what Nanoha’s constructs were for.

Fate took a deep breath, punched her fear in the gut before she lost her nerve, threw it into a canvas bag, jumped on the bag repeatedly with spiked shoes, threw it into the bay, then turned around and whistled innocently as she pretended she hadn’t seen it.

Someone squeezed her shoulder and she nearly jumped out of her barrier jacket. She let out a sigh of relief she hadn’t known she’d been holding in as she realized it was just Arf.

“Calm down master,” Arf said softly, her tone mildly teasing, mostly reassuring. “This can’t be any worse than the time Nanoha-chan shot you in the face with her first Starlight Breaker.”

Neither mentioned how Nanoha hadn’t been shooting to kill.

“Preparing attack,” Nanoha reported, startling them out of their moment. Fate checked her hand, and was relieved to see the shaking had stopped. “Raging Heart establishing targeting lock. Preparing constructs.”

“Um, give me a sec,” Illya waffled, still setting up. “Ruby, I need you to make some kind of Bounded Field around me to keep me from being noticed, like what Luvia has around her house. Something I can shoot out from without disrupting it.”

“Hmm…” Ruby mused. “Tough order. That’s extremely complicated magecraft, Illya-chan! What do you think I am, some kind of magic wand you can just wave to make anything you can imagine happen without bothering to know how it gets done?”

Illya gave it a blank look. “Well, yes.”

“That’s right, I am!“ Ruby crowed. “Aren’t I awesome or what? I pity the phools who don’t have me, I do, I do!”

Illya’s eyebrow twitched. “Have you been watching American sitcoms again or something, Ruby?”

There was a derisive sound over the open line that sounded like someone was trying to snort but didn’t have the anatomy for it. “Oh, please. You’re abilities are nothing, Kaleidostick. I possess infinitely more creative potential than you do, and have been perfected over the course of eons. I be bringin' the phunk down on you, biyatch.”

“Creative potential is meaningless,” Bardiche argued. “I am optimized for maximum synchronization with my master. There are no points of unnecessary capability. My master and I form a perfect team.”

“Heh, really? Then why did I hear that TSAB technician lady say the pink ejaculation stick and my Green Lantern had a higher synchronization rating?” Ring-chan said.

Silence.

“Hey, shooting thingy, say something.”

“Please leave me out of this,” Raging Heart said demurely.

Nanoha blinked. “Ring-chan? Is there something wrong with your speech capabilities? Why are you talking like that?”

“I was attempting to communicate with the Kaleidostick in an Earth vernacular it seemed familiar with, ma’m,” Ring-chan said in something closer to its usual Tara Strong-esque voice.

“Ah,” Nanoha said, not really understanding.