"Glad to hear we're on the same track here", replied Mortimer, as he Eldritch Blasted that orc... in the loins.
edited 26th Apr '11 6:20:05 PM by DJMarred
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
Sanity not included
There was a quiet pause, during which, the universe seemed to whisper "You sick bastard..." The orcs charged from the brush, screaming and flailing their arms.
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
Mortimer's jaw dropped at the sight of all the orcs.
Mortimer grabbed one of the orcs and said "Beguiling Influence".
"You are now under my control", he said.
edited 26th Apr '11 6:50:27 PM by DJMarred
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
Sanity not included
One of the orcs stopped for a moment. "Damn, did I really just fail that saving throw?- I mean- I r nou uNdR Ur control."
edited 26th Apr '11 6:22:42 PM by Dragon573
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
"Now cut each other to shreds!" he barked to the orcs.
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
Sanity not included
The orcs proceded to do so, screaming about past grievances, ranging from "you're the #*$!(%$&# that was messing with my sister" to "You wore the same hat as me into a bar last tuesday".
edited 26th Apr '11 6:25:33 PM by Dragon573
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
"Good to see that the conflict can be resolved peacefully."
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
L.A.S.E.R.S.
"Oh! So we're stealing each other's schticks, eh? Well I'll have you know you're not the only one with a ranged touch attack. Scorching Ray!"
Two rays lept from Seigmund's fingers and disintegrated a dying orc.
"Why a tennis ball? Because my mother beat me savagely with a sack of oranges, thats why."
The thing with the red gold crown.
Pathor put his hands at his groin in a defensive manner and looked down as if to confirm it was still there, "Mortimer......I....what....I felt that orc's pain."
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
"Nice guys finish last" said Mortimer. "While you were rolling your initiative rolls, I took the initiative and destroyed those orcs. But there will be more around here, I'm sure."
edited 26th Apr '11 6:52:47 PM by DJMarred
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
L.A.S.E.R.S.
"Well I'll have you know that I don't like one bit that you used my specializa- Oh look, The Azure City! Wow, that random encounter principle really holds up under scrutiny."
"Why a tennis ball? Because my mother beat me savagely with a sack of oranges, thats why."
Mortimer pulls out a scroll in his pack. "Time to roll my Use Magic Device check" he said, as he read the words of the "Feign Good Alignment" scroll.
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
L.A.S.E.R.S.
"I don't suppose you have a spare one in there, do you? They don't exactly welcome the Chaotic Neutral in Bluetown either."
"Why a tennis ball? Because my mother beat me savagely with a sack of oranges, thats why."
"Certainly" said Mortimer, as he passed a spare Feign Good Alignment scroll to Siegmund.
edited 26th Apr '11 7:35:52 PM by DJMarred
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
Sanity not included
As they arrived at the gates, Grantorn was debating with one of the paladins about the pros and cons of the eastern gods vs. the western gods.
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
The group tried to pass through the gate, but the duo blocked the way into Azure City.
More initiative people, or this game will die! You are the game's valuable life blood, and I don't want to turn into an attention whore in trying to keep the game moving.
edited 27th Apr '11 7:32:18 PM by DJMarred
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
The thing with the red gold crown.
"Why do you bar the way? This is Azure city, capital of the paladins, correct? ", Pathor said.
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Sanity not included
"Admit it, your gods don't have all the answers!"
"Why you-" started the paladin.
"-We're blocking the road. Now stop loitering before you're arrested"
"Why you-!"
"Goodbye." the Trogolodyte continued on his way.
"I hate trogs..."
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
"Gods never have the answers!" said Mortimer. "They're lazy bastards that don't use their power to solve problems or rule responsibly! They would sit on the couch, watch TV and drink beer while their followers are left to suffer!"
Helm, Tymora and Tempus are on the couch watching The Simpsons and drinking beer. "'nother round?" pleaded Helm. "Hic! Yeah, you can have anotha! Hic!" said Tymora in drunken tones as she passed Helm a beer. "Ninety-nine bottless of beer on the wall, ninetie-eight bottlesh of beer! You take sevnteen-four, and pash em round! Fifty-nine bottlesh of beeeer on them all!" They sang in drunken unison. I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
The thing with the red gold crown.
Pathor raised his hand in objection, "Not true! They send mortals on suicidal quest for entertainment."
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Sanity not included
Tiamat was in fact watching the party's movements on a television screen. she dialed a number on her phone. "Thor? Yes, hello, hun. Yes, yes, it's been too long. Listen, could I get a lightning strike at the gate to the Azure City? Yes, I'd like you to strike a certain heathen. I'll fax you his appearance. Thanks. You're the best, you hammer-wielding, trigger happy son of a bitch."
Several seconds after the 'heathen' said that lightning flashed directly down at him.
Tiamat was still talking to him. "Yeah, see... you missed. Yeah, you hit the paladin of the Azure guard... Aw, hell, that's close enough. He was debating with one of my followers anyway. Thanks, Thor."
edited 27th Apr '11 8:45:03 PM by Dragon573
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.
In a land far away, followers of Helm were pleading for his protection. "Save us, oh great Protector! Oh Vigilant One!" they pleaded, as an ice giant was on a blood-fueled rampage through their town.
An angel enters the room of the gods' holy orgy. "Sir, your followers need..." She glanced at Tymora and Helm, as Tymora was on top of Helm. "Oh. This must be more important. I'll leave you to your holy ceremonies," she said as she walked out.
Mortimer applauded Tiamat. "Can I have an encore? I want you to blast something else for me!"
edited 29th Jul '11 4:38:13 PM by DJMarred
I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
The thing with the red gold crown.
Pathor shivered, and stared at the ashes that was a fellow paladin, "Do you guys get the feeling as if the gods are being played with and we are not in control of our destiny? I believe I shall follow Banjo and Heironeous now."
Ellan stared at Banjo, "Ooooh, He has gained another follower."
edited 27th Apr '11 9:05:11 PM by Philosopher
It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.
Another angel walked in after Tymora and Helm had finished their business. "Sir, we have a request for a new god!" Helm said "Ooh! Who's it gonna be?" "A puppet," replied the angel.
"I love puppets! HIC!" shouted Tempus. "Requeshtt acce... ac... made," declared Helm.
Banjo was struck by holy light, and became a god. I am the lone wolf. I do not lead or follow.
An orc leaned out from the bushes. "We appreciate time skip too. We want fight already."
It's kind of funny. Sufficiently advanced stupidity is like sufficiently advanced science; eventually, you find something you can't solve.