The New Touhou Character Alternate Interpretation Compendium!

we need an official joke font

EDIT: offtopic top comment is offtopic

edited 7th Sep '11 11:19:07 AM by JacktheSnowman

I wish we knew how old the Lunar Society is. Our only frame of reference is Kaguya, who is at least 1400 and probably much older.

Well, if you want to be scientific, it can't be older than ten thousand years old. But according to Eirin, 500 years is a drop in a bucket for her age so it depends on how old she was when she helped found the Moon. This is the dude that founded the Moon with Eirin. Doesn't really specify a date. But it does specify that he had no sense of humor at all.

Quite literally holier than thou.

Welp, as long as I have CILR open.

Kind of sucks to be a Moon Rabbit.

It kinda sucks to be an earth rabbit too, although less so than being a moon rabbit. Also from that chapter, Tewi is a ninja. But that's not really relevant.

Edit: Also, CILR ch 1 confirms a sorta Moon retcon. Eirin mentions the moon war stuff from IN and goes "nuh uh." Humans building a base becomes "they talked about doing it but failed." The Moon being surprised at how advanced humans were becomes "they had no chance because the Moon is much more advanced." Seems a waste of plot but I can get its not the kind of thing ZUN wanted to get into. Interplanetary war is more Heinlein than ZUN.

edited 7th Sep '11 12:06:03 PM by Bocaj

So, Eirin could be older then ten thousand years old? Gosh. That would make her the oldest character, by far. Waaaaay older then Suwako.

From Eirin's boast, she's either exaggerating a tensie bit or else predate modern humanity. Some sort of alien, obviously, who subtly influenced the evolution of our kind so that a faction would settle on the moon, before growing bored and ditching them for shenanigans with Kaguya.

So... what did the Lunar Rabbits eat before the Mooninites showed up? Y'know, since there's apparently no bugs or non-peach plants or whatnot up there... yet the bunnies were somehow able to gather the ingredients to make mochi? So did the Mooninites freak out and wipe out the native Lunar ecosystem to maintain the facade of perfect perpetual purity, or are they in intense denial about the bunnies' farms and whatnot tucked away out of sight from the Lunar Capital? Have they just trained themselves not to notice flies buzzing around their faces, because flies are filthy impure creatures that couldn't possibly exist in their pristine lunar paradise?

I'm kinda liking the idea of the Lunarians as a mix of the Mooninites and the Observers.

What would the Celestials or hermits make of the Lunarians? The others have found immortality of a sort too, but they worked for it dammit (except for cases like Tenshi). But the Mooninites just jumped ship because oh noes this impure Earth is killing us. Hermits and Celestials earn their eternal lives by doing religious stuff. The Lunarians ran away so they could slack off on the moon forever. What would Shiki say?

I always wondered if the Watatsukis were ZUN's way of poking fun of some fan portrayals of Reimu and Yukari, if their Mary Sue status was intentional, an effort to show why an all-powerful Reimu would be a bad thing. Other than that I can't say I have much interest in them. They showed up for their story, earned a hatedom, and then were done. So what're the odds that they'd reappear in a future Touhou tale? Think they'll find excuses to return to Gensokyo? For that matter, would the other Touhous find a reason to go back to the Lunar Capital?

I kinda want to fight the sisters in a danmau game. See what kind of spellcards and patterns and stuff they'd have

Well, she's based on a god. I just used ten thousand years as an arbitrary point of time because that's when humans got their shit together and started agriculturing. I kind of find it hard to imagine a group of humans becoming advanced enough to technologically reach the moon without the ability to grow grain. Although, it is magitek. CILR's last chapter says that Lunarians have a thing similar to Komachi's manipulation of distance that lets them get to Earth just like walking through a door. Its possible that that's how they originally got up there. Moon rabbits use lunar veils and run the risk of getting hit by space debris on the way down. Lunarians walk through doors. Vampires and Armstrongs use rockets.

It adds kind of a dark side to Lunarian society if they wiped out the ecosystem, save for their soon to be indentured bunnies, in order to ensure its purity.

Kind of doubt it since its implied they went to the Moon because it was pure. I guess they had some way of knowing ahead of time? Kickass telescopes maybe.

Also, good point on the other immortals. I now wonder that too.

edited 7th Sep '11 12:17:14 PM by Bocaj

So if all that stuff was retconed, why did IN happen?*

Also, I told you Eirin was old!

Well, Reisen got a message from the Moon. Since it was a message that Reisen got it must have been from another moon rabbit. Moon rabbits are a cowardly, superstitious lot so they have have misunderstood or exaggerated the situation. Eirin thought it better to be safe than sorry and prepared for paranoid rabbit ramblings. Bamf, IN scenario retconned.

I think it was that the Lunarites thought their might be a war and so decided to call back their most ferocious intellect, their immortal princess and their most capable bunnygirl. Eirin got all, 'WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER, BITCHES!' and sealed off the Earth because that's how she rolls. When there was no war, the Moonies just ignored Eirin's existance, like they always do.

Because, seriously. Compared to the other bunnyditzes, Reisen is a genius.

No, no. The whoevers who sent Reisen the message had no idea she was living with Eirin and Kaguya. They said she was living with "humans."

Probably as a result of being Eirin's apprentice. I kind of see Reisen being just as bunnyditz as her fellows when she lived back on the moon. Perhaps with a hefty dose of potential, largely untapped until Eirin.

edited 7th Sep '11 12:30:38 PM by Bocaj

Didn't Reisen's letter imply they didn't know she was staying with two Lunarians (since it refers to them as "humans")?

Also, from what I can gather, while Reisen was more capable than the other rabbits, before she became Eirin's minion, she was selfish, cowardly, and probably some type of stupid. (Not as stupid as the other moon bunnies, mind you, but...) Not exactly the type I'd personally request to go to war.

EDIT: Ninja'd. On both bits too! Darn it!

edited 7th Sep '11 12:33:04 PM by Otherarrow

Lunarians aren't very good at jumping to conclusions, then.

'Oh by the way, Reisen I: There isn't a Reisen II yet, so why is she called this? has fled to Earth. And she's shacked up with some humans, apparently.'

'Huh. Didn't we send that rogue princess to Earth a few hundred years ago? And then Dr. Yagokoro fled to live with her? D'you think Reisen found them?'

'Naw, that won't have happened.'

'I suppose so. Want to laugh at Earthlings for being inferior?'

'Sure.'

EDIT: Eirin quit her job and left her family to go and live with a younger woman. She was obviously having a mid-life crisis.

edited 7th Sep '11 12:36:17 PM by asterism

Sometimes mocking laughter can hurt more than instant atomization via fan.*

@edit: HAH!

edited 7th Sep '11 12:36:46 PM by Bocaj

I'm still convinced that, while selfish and cowardly, Moon!Reisen was nowhere near as bunnyditz as her compatriots. The war was pointless, even if she was the only one who knew it. It was a relatively smart move, even if it made her look bad.

If moonReisen was such a bunnyditz, then why did the other moonbunnies want her back so bad? And why did the Watatsukis name their pale imitation of a Reisen after her?

Reisen may have been a bunnyditz, but she was their bunnyditz darn it.

Also, Reisen was smarter than the average moon rabbit. Maybe not smart enough to be smart yet, but smarter. Maybe the other bunnies respect that?

edited 7th Sep '11 12:52:40 PM by Otherarrow

I feel oddly proud of myself for coining the term 'bunnyditz'.

Discretion is the better part of valor and all that?

That's a thing. The spelling or whatever is different so is the meaning different?

They do have a soft spot for her. It involves beating her up. With love. And violence.

It is an accomplishment. You should be proud.

edited 7th Sep '11 1:09:51 PM by Bocaj

...I don't remember the Watatsukis beating up either of the Reisens. Or were you just joking?

Exactly!

Relevant

SLAVES! PETS! MILITARY WEAPONS!

edited 7th Sep '11 1:18:06 PM by asterism

I am joking or at least its not as bad as it sounds. In Inaba, Yorihime decides that Reisen and Reisen need some serious boot camp training and puts them through their paces. A sparring match may have occurred before and after said training where Yorihime beat the two of them up before being thwarted accidentally by turncoat ninja Tewi.

Its played for laughs and nobody is seriously hurt anyway.

Edit: That was both entirely hilarious and probably wildly inaccurate. I likes it.

edited 7th Sep '11 1:22:28 PM by Bocaj

In Inaba^2, Reisen getting hurt=funny, so it's all good.

That applies to both Reisens really.