A young adult from southern Maryland who's ultra quiet in person until you get to know him.
- twitter- @pricekr
- skype- crucifixal-burden
- You Tube -krisrp0
- Steam - x0ph3roo1
- CRACKED - x0ph3roo1, byline is Phillip Traum
- 3ds friend code- 4940-5537-4719
tropes to describe Xopher 001:
- The Stoic - I'm a very quiet person in person , at least until I've opened up to someone enough
- Brilliant, but Lazy
- The Anti-Nihilist
- Rousseau was Right - "You can call me Pollyanna;
- Evil Counterpart - sometimes when the shit of the world gets me down, I dream about becoming a super villain and blowing stuff up. Basically the inverse of Rousseau was Right, but you could say its similar to humans are bastards, Hobbes was right, or the strawnihilist
- Bi the way
- Autism - I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome when I was five or six. I have trouble communicating my feelings to other people and understanding how they feel. If I come off as rude or insensitive, it's probably not intentional . I try my best to consider other people's feelings
- Lurker - I was this until about 2012 when I started an account on mspaforums and a tumblr account
- Divorce- my parents divorced when I was 7; I don't see my father anymore
- Myers Briggs - INTJ
- Berserk button- dissing anyone who's commited suicide and/or their reasons for it
- Pragmatic Hero
- Blue and Orange Morality
- Gallows Humor ( with a few exceptions, ie. rape or suicide)
- Immortality Seeker
- Brilliant but Lazy
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All
- Marvel Cinematic Universe
- Attack on Titan
- Fullmetal Alchemist
- Neon Genesis Evangelion
- The Legend of Zelda
Memorable quotes :
"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."
"No one cared who I was until I put on the mask"
- Bane- The Dark Knight Rises
"I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grief until the memory of your loved one is just poison in your veins. And one day you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed so you would be spared your pain."
- Ra's al Ghul - Batman Begins describing how you become a villain
- A: "Kokoa kokoon koko kokko." ("Gather the whole bonfire together.")
- B: "Koko kokkoko?" ("The whole bonfire?")
- A: "Koko kokko." ("The whole bonfire.")
- Haikus can be fun.
- But they don't always make sense.
- (Bacon Maniac 5000)
I really hate the whole "trans people are being deceptive" thing. For me, the deception has been living as a guy, and presenting as a girl is me being honest.
- - Talby
- -Entire Imperial army faces Huns, fail to kill leader
- -Four cross-dressers storm palace, kill Hun leader save Emperor and all of China
- Do not fuck with cross-dressers.
- Comment on I'll Make A Man Out Of You
- Deckronomicon, random You Tube commentor
"I have put a curse on you. An octopus will come eat all your hair in 36 hours. The only way to avoid this is to eat a kitten." - Arha
Basically I'm an optimist. Intellectually I can see man's balance is about fifty-fifty, and his chances of blowing himself up are about one to one. I can't see this any way but intellectually. I'm just emotionally unable to believe that he will do this. This means that I am by nature an optimist and by intellectual conviction a pessimist, I suppose. - Sir William Golding
"History repeats itself: first as tragedy, then as farce." -Karl Marx
"The idea that, under the pretext that a country is democratic, its citizens, after an internal debate, can legitimately decide to bomb the citizens of another country is an idea that will end up killing democracy.
— Emmanuel Todd
"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any"
"You know what else? I'd rather have my head caught inside a blender full of vegetable oil while an incubus violates my body with mayonnaise as he recites the entire script of Batman & Robin with the voice of Scout's actress than spend even one more class sitting next to you."
"When you look at the inhumane treatment of Jews, not only in Germany but occupied countries as well, you start worrying that such a demand might also be put on us, but we must clearly refuse such this due to their protection under the Danish constitution. I stated that I could not meet such a demand towards Danish citizens. If such a demand is made, we would best meet it by all wearing the Star of David."
Christian X of Denmark
"So, can we now agree that the United Nations of Mexico should have Freedom or Equality as its national value, given how we went to free the giant purple mushrooms from their green oppressors?"
-Rather Random Rachel
Bæ means poop. So whenever you say "bae" you're calling your other half "poop"...
The stone, it calls to you
You can't refuse to do the things it tells you to
My supervisor: Hey, Ello, what's your major?
me: I'm an English Muffin. I mean major. I'm a Muffin Major. I mean...English Major. I am that.
My supervisor: clearly.
"I'm still convinced that thunder is the result of God farting."
What magical trick makes us intelligent? The trick is that there is no trick. The power of intelligence stems from our vast diversity, not from any single, perfect principle. Marvin Minsky, The Society of Mind, p. 308
Fire, air, water, earth...legend has it that when these four elements are gathered, they will form the fifth element...boron.
"Booty calls are only a responsible usage of divine omnipresence."
Most countries forge an empire through war, but they did so through incest and fucking, lots and lots of fucking.
-grog23 from reddit
Shit piss cunt fuck cocksucker mother fucker tits fart turd and twat. Don't worry about swearing too much.
- George Carlin
"But unfamiliar nether regions are my favorite kind of regions!" Disco Dancer
Gottagotta just poke it in the little... uh.. the little hole. - Mobile
Irony is not an excuse if the cake still tastes like ass.
"Asthmatics are just former mermaids who haven't adapted to breathing air 100% of the time"- tumblr
Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination.
"What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?" ~Pai Mei
I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with a tuning fork does a raw blink on Hari-Kiri rock.
"My mother was a hookeeeer... My father was a piiimp... I one day wished that I would get insiiiide her- WAIT FUCK WAIT THAT'S GONE TOTALLY WRONG."
- Geek Code Red
When life gives you lemons, burn life's house down with the lemons.
I have far too many illegitimate balloon children. ~~ Smokeycut
...eventually, we will reach a maximum entropy state where nobody has their own socks or underwear, or knows who to ask to get them back. -Desertopa
If your stomach is exposed during a storm, someone might steal your entire bellybutton.(Bocaj)
No, officer, I was not aware I killed 27 people with my laser nipples
"Why do you need guns that big?"
"Hitler had a very small penis. "
Le Garcon and Geek Code Red on a German artillery gun
"Is this your wife? What a lovely throat"
IF THE HAIRS ON THE BACK OF YOUR NECK STAND UP, SHITS ABOUT TO GET REAL (note: written in a situation where this has proven to be the case)(Me)
The answer to bullet hell, like so many things, is pudding. (Nes Classic)
Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably poop. (Kurgy)
I want the sun as a pet! I wanna play with it and feed it and hug it and be best friends forever(Conflictedpsyches)
Ahh, Trygoon! One of the best animes, next to Cowbell Beep-Boop and Neon Jellyfish Brassmedallion! (Mr Mallard)
One day, House was walk into his House.
"It is good to have House House!" say House, as he walk into House House. (Mr Mallard)
هذا ليس الميت الذي يمكن كذب الأبدية، ومع الدهر غريب قد يموتون حتى الموت.
- عبد الهازريد
"What if your enemy is three inches in front of you, what do you do then? Curl into a ball? Or do you put your fist through him?" ~Pai Mei
"I hunger, sempai." -Jinxmenow
"Treat others with compassion, respect, and understanding, or the dragon will eat you" Tobias Drake
"FRUIT BAT ROUNDUP, FRUIT BAT ROUNDUP! Let's finish our murderous cheer!" ~ King Kix
It's a Demonic Lighthouse Slide! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I beg of you, Durza, make it so.
'He strutted across the bedroom, his hard manhood pointing the way' sounds like he owns a badly named seeing-eye dog. 'Sit, Hard Manhood!
"Clearly she was attempting to seduce the bullet in order to avoid getting killed."
My friend's response to that also deserves mention: "But wouldn't that just make the bullet want to enter her even more?"
Talking about the sentence from My Immortal that's something like "I jumped sexily in front of the bullet". - She who must not be named
"Without an eraser, a pencil... is really just a pen."
it sucks epic, epic amounts of cock, I mean, serious, pay-per-view levels of dicksucking going on there
YOU WIN AT SCIENCE! HERE'S A POTATO!
There's more than one way to skin a cat. ...And I happen to know that's factually true.
- Electric Nova
And then, suddenly, they were horses. All of them. The End.
"Where's my alligator? There's my alligator. It's my alligator. He's my alligator."
I want to see a movie where Jesus comes back, but nobody believes its him because they're all convinced that he was white. However, the Illuminati discover his return and decide to take him out. Luckily, Jesus is saved by a bunch of people who are convinced that they are the reincarnations of gods, but were laughed off the internet. Jesus teams up with them, but soon finds a conflict of interest, as he wants to spread the word of God, but they want to pull off a daring heist.
I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. - Bill Gates
Q. "In light of recent events, I'd be curious to hear people's definitions of the word "fetish"."
A. "It's somewhere you convince a spirit to live so you can bother it for help.
Like, if you want to make one for like a tiger spirit, you'd need a tiger-looking thing. Preferably something like a nice statue since tiger spirits don't like to slum.
Then you'd have to find a tiger spirit which may be hard depending on where you live and on your ability to sense the incorporeal spirits in the form of tigers. Try a zoo or India, maybe.
After that, you just need to convince the spirit to live in the receptacle. Current research suggests sacrificing a moose and smearing the blood onto it in an attempt to convince the tiger spirit that it will be well fed. Due to the difficulty of this, beef is suggested as an alternative. Also singing may be of use, if you speak any of the Indian languages, or maybe Tiger.
Once you have verified that the tiger spirit is inhabiting the receptacle (Try waving it an animal. If you hear roars or the animal flees, you're golden.), all you will need to do is invoke the help of the tiger spirit- they only really help when hunting is involved, though. Flattery and/or burning bacon may help, as well as threatening the spirit with a spray bottle. Make sure to dress in a manner resembling a tiger in order to appropriately resonate with the essence of the spirit. Please also note that tigers are not leopards when doing this.
All in all, it's a lot of work, but you'd be amazed at the prices you get at the supermarket, and no one will 'ever' challenge you for the last pineapple again."
My dad and I were just sitting around, watching something about chocolate chip cookies, and something came up about how many are produced and sold in the U.S.A. every year. So then, being the salespeople with good backgrounds in finance that we are, decided to see how much it would actually cost to produce all of those cookies.
And then we decided to try to figure out how many chocolate chip cookies Bill Gates is worth. And then it escalated.
For the curious, Bill Gates (worth approx. $60 billion) is worth about 600 billion chocolate chip cookies. With his fiscal worth, he could buy 600 billion chocolate chip cookies. Approximately 1.5 billion chocolate chip cookies are produced in the United States each year. If Bill Gates were to purchase all of the chocolate chip cookies produced in the U.S. each year, it would take him 200 years to purchase his fiscal worth in chocolate chip cookies.
Now, there is the matter of storing these cookies. Assume 1 case of 4 boxes of cookies - with each box containing 25 cookies, so 100 in all - takes up 1 cubic foot, and that the cookies are all being put into warehouses with the dimensions of 300ft x 100ft x 10ft (L x W x H); in other words, about the size of an American football field with a 10 ft ceiling for simplicity. One warehouse would hold 300 thousand cases, with a total of 30 million cookies. So, to store all of the 600 billion cookies, one would need 20 thousand of these warehouses. Placed end-to-end, these warehouses would stretch 1136 2/3 miles in length. To visualize, the distance between Sandusky, OH and Orlando, FL is roughly 1086 miles, and an extra 200 miles will get you to Miami, FL. In other words, the warehouses would literally span across the eastern end of the United States.
Assuming each of the cookies to be 3 inches in diameter... If you laid them out end-to-end in a line, they would span 28, 409, 090 miles. Or, they'd be able to wrap around the Earth 1, 136 times. Or, to the Moon and back 57 times.
Assuming each of these cookies are 1/2 inch thick and there is something keeping them structurally stable... If you stacked these cookies on top of each other, they would stack to be 1, 683, 712 miles high. In other words, you could use them to create a pole to climb to Mars.
Assuming each of the cookies has 12 chocolate chips in it, that would be 7, 200, 000, 000, 000 chocolate chips. Or, 14, 400, 000, 000 bags of chocolate chips.
Working 365 days a year, 24 hours a day, Hershey's would have to make 228, 310 chips per second. Or, 456 bags per second.
Assuming you have 4 cookies per 8oz glass of milk, it would take 9, 375, 000, 000 gallons of milk to wash down all 600 billion delicious, delicious cookies. That is enough to fill about 14, 195 Olympic swimming pools.
And if you crumbled all of the cookies up, you'd have a big fucking mess.
Just in case anyone wanted to know.
Ha ha! Interesting factoid time. The Inca empire did make incursions in Chile, getting as far down as the central region. But that was inhabited by the Mapuche, a people that, in contrast with the advanced Inca empire, lived in mud huts and played with sticks (this is not me being disparaging, those are actual traditions). As it turns out, though, the Mapuche were (and are) very very good at guerilla warfare and generally fucking shit up for invaders. They were organized in scattered tribes, only uniting under a common banner in times of war. The Incas got sent back to Peru, starting one of the proudest Chilean traditions. And when the Spaniards came, the Mapuche (and other peoples of the center-south area) kept up the fight for some three hundred years. There are some interesting historical accounts slash folktales about some of their heroes, like Lautaro, who carried a tree's trunk for three days and knights then threw it as a javelin to prove himself (and later went on to be captured by the Spaniards, serve under them for years, escape and use their tactics, like horse riding, against them), Caupolicán, who was killed by the Spaniards by making him sit on a spike, and Galvarino, who (and what little reliable historical accounts there are suggest that this was legit) got his right hand chopped off as punishment, then set his left hand on the cutting stump as a fuck you and got that cut off too. But when he put his head on the stump, they denied him a quick death, sending him back to his people. And then he tied hatchets to his stumps and continued the fight, because quitting is for pussies.
...naturally, the Mapuche are currently fighting to have their lands and traditions respected, with varied success, and some rather nasty incidents from both sides. This has been Completely Unbidden Factoids Hour with Ninety.
Galvarino, who (and what little reliable historical accounts there are suggest that this was legit) got his right hand chopped off as punishment, then set his left hand on the cutting stump as a fuck you and got that cut off too. But when he put his head on the stump, they denied him a quick death, sending him back to his people. And then he tied hatchets to his stumps and continued the fight, because quitting is for pussies.
@Ozzy: There were two statues in a park; a male and female one facing each other longingly. A genie saw them and granted them life for one hour. They immediately went behind the bushes and could be heard giggling for half an hour. They came out and the genie said "You guys still have thirty minutes left." The female statue turned to the male statue and said "Okay, now you hold down the pigeon and I'll crap on it."
- Bacon Maniac 5000
"Yeah, but those were Parisians. They don't count as real people." - Chabal 2
"I wonder why I wonder why. I wonder why I wonder. I wonder why I wonder why I wonder why I wonder!"-Richard P. Feynman