It begins on a black screen with the words THERE IS NO GAME. "Hello, user", says a deep voice. "I..I have bad news. Actually, there is no game". He goes on to say that you can do all these other things (like reading and watching TV) but that there is nothing to do here, and you can quit and leave him alone. He then tells you not to touch the title as it's not quite dry yet, especially the letter "o".
You click the "o" anyway and it falls off. The narrator is not impressed and tells you to put the letter back, but as much as you try it keeps falling down. The narrator decides he will fix it next time someone relaunches the game. He then hastily adds "The non-game" and reminds you that there is no game.
You keep trying and it doesn't work, but then you notice something white fall from the sky gradually, and then break, revealing a speaker icon. The narrator is once again unimpressed and says "No reason to use that icon as you were on the point of leaving. Don't you?"
When you click the speaker icon, the narrator goes mute, then tells you not to touch it as he's a voice and a speechless voice is like death. Touching it again results in the narrator saying "You're trying to kill me! Okay then" and making it pop up all over the place. "As you love to click everywhere, what do you think about that?" he says.
When you catch it, the narrator puts it in a wooden box, and when you break it, he declares you stubborn as a mule and puts it in a metal box, even adding Kryptonite so you can't call Superman (yes, he knows Superman doesn't exist, but as we're in ga...no we're not.)
You lift the box up and it comes crashing down, making the letters fall down and revealing screws. The narrator is not impressed.
Unscrewing the screws reveals a screen with four spaces to put letters in with the words "THERE IS A". The narrator tells you not to, but you make the word GAME.
You arrive at a standard hit-the-bricks game and the narrator warns you not to play or else "they" will come and they can kill him. You play anyway and he tells you to stop and tries moving the bricks around. When that doesn't work, he takes your ball, telling you there are no other balls, but you find one on the side and keep playing. He doesn't feel well, and soon there are multi-coloured squares everywhere.
These squares are glitches, and the narrator needs you to make a goat with the letters in order to attract users. You find a cave with a waterfall and a goat in a cage. The cage is locked, so you need to find the key.
When you come back to the "There Is A" screen, the key is seen, but a flying squirrel takes it, so you need something to climb. That something is a tree, but you get a small tree. Thankfully, you can water it by using the trophy you won from the game to collect water from the waterfall. It grows and you climb the tree. The flying squirrel won't give the key back, but he does when you take the nut off the tree, use the steel box to crack it, and give it to the squirrel.
Then, you free the goat, but it doesn't work and the screen fills up with glitches.
Back to the black screen, everything is alright and the narrator apologises, but still, as he says, there is no game. Alternatively, the player can choose not to forgive him, in which case he tells them a simple "Go to hell!"
