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Quotes / Tzetze

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" But if you think about it it's probably normal for gay porn, besides the hydrocephalic midget of course"

"The difference between coding and debugging is analogous to the difference between writing a story and being slowly skinned alive by papercuts over a period of several weeks."

Bah I say.

"It's MY CHOICE so just SHUT UP about my loli tentacle Anne Frank doujin obsession you BIGOT"

I'm smoking all the drugs. ALL OF THEM. [grin]

"FUCK YOU SPAIN MY MOM WAS KILLED BY SOMEONE SAYING HELLO TO HER"

TZETZE ANGRY

FLIRTING MAKE TZETZE ANGRY

TZETZE CRUSH PATHETIC COUNTRY STAR!!

I'm not seeing how you drew your conclsudfl

I'm glad I'm not part of Rottweiler's culture, it's depressing and boring, there are zombies everywhere, and shotguns haven't even been invented yet.

"Reading porn and shojo at the same time, I am a genius!"

Zudak: ALEX RANT ABOUT SOMETHING
Tzetze: NO FUCK YOU
— Tzetze and Zudak in Vent.

"Thermal expansion."
— Tzetze summing up Math, Evangelion, and Sex.

"BZZHEIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU GRAAAAAAAH BOOOOOOM"
— Tzetze impersonating Ramiel

"You are a cheating cheater who cheats ಠ_ಠ"
— Tzetze

"I ma cancer taht will coesty the whole worls@ hahahahahah! "
—Tzetze.

"Stalin wasn't a Nazi, and neither was Hitler."
— Tzetze, dazed after a troll attack.

"You Tube is random shit! SHIT!"
— Tzetze, on YouTube.

"People on the internet are _watching me_"

"If the rest of the internet is as bad as everybody keep saying it is, I am going to get _raped_.

"Just how many people have quoted me?!"

"I lost count a while ago, but Furiko Maru quoting me in her signature means that I have been quoted... too many times."

"I'm too good. I can't beat me. I must concede defeat to myself. I win! :D"
— Tzetze, on Vent talking about... something.

"My favorite Kingdom Hearts character is Bugs Bunny."

Tzetze: How the hell are you bored
Tzetze: This is THE INTERNET
Tzetze: There is NEAR-INFINITE information.
Tzetze: You could spend EVERY SECOND of EVERY DAY of the rest of your life reading/watching it
Tzetze: and you would NEVER RUN OUT
Tzetze: HOW ARE YOU BORED
— Tzetze on Vent again, to Kris Mahai

You are all going to die in a fire. Not one fire, though. Several fires. Over time and space. Many, many, many fires.
— Tzetze on this page

Never ends well, sockpuppetry.
—Tzetze, not talking about Venhax...but he might've

I AM THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THEW HEOSLE WOR
—Tzetze, hopped up on sleep deprivation

*speechless*
* head explodes*
—Tzetze, responding to Haven okay these are two non consecutive occasions WHATEVER CHOKE ON THE RULE OF FUNNY

Welcome to the internet.
—Tzetze, concerning hamsters on pianos.

"By the way, the principle /b/ 'hack' 4chan uses, D Do S, is the technological equivalent of shouting at somebody until have to they cover their ears."

"And once I said 'Oh Your God!' in front of my Mormon friend and yeah I'm not doing that again."

"I am going to punch you all WITH FIRE."

"I don't like where this is going. Or where it is. Or where it started."

"What if we talked about having sex while talking about having sex while talking about the boy the dog the girl the boy the girl the tree the lumberjack fell while he had beans up his nose fell on while it had beans up its nose flirted with while she had beans up her nose hit on while he had beans up his nose hit while she had beans up her nose bit while it had beans up his nose that ran into the store the man the woman the monster Echidna bore while she had beans up her nose ate while it had beans up its nose fired while she had beans up her nose founded while we had beans up our noses while we had beans up our noses while we had beans up our noses while we had beans up our noses while we have beans up our noses?"

"Today: claimed that a friend of mine was the lovechild of Hitler and Margaret Thatcher, thus making him future dictator of the Netherlands."

"Concrete-Encased High School Girl.
Not a manga, actually, but an infamous crime. "
—Tzetze.

Why would they ever masturbate, what with all the absurdly rapeable women around?

Maybe we should make a rerelease of An Inconvenient Truth, but with scantily-clad women instead of bears.

IT'S NOT A MYTHOLOGY IF IT'S JUST RANDOM VERBAL DIARRHEA OF A MADMAN OKAY.
MYTHOLOGIES HAVE TO BE THE DIARRHEA OF SEVERAL PEOPLE.

I figure that if a nice deity exists, they'll be nice enough to not smite me for something so minor as not believing that they exist (I mean, I know several people who don't believe that I exist, do I smite them?)

Oh gods it's spreading.
— Tzetze on J Bridge's quotes page.

I'M SO ANGRY AT NOTHING I COULD FUCKING DESTROY THAT TH

I AM NOT SPARKLE INTERNET BOY

You people have no idea how unnerving it is for everybody to act like me.

DO YOU WANT A FLAMING SHIT CAMEL?! WELL, DO YA?!

Cereal was invented by the vegetable people to trick you so that you wouldn't eat them. Popsicle!
—Tzetze on no one's really sure..

i have to EAT METAL LIKE GODDAMN SAMURAI JACK

I still feel guilty about not keeping in contact with my friends after I moved. I mean, I was only nine or so, but it still makes me feel terrible.
—Tze Tze: odd confessions

I'm all covered in grease and shit on the inside. Shit my neck.
—Tzetze, high on sleep deprivation. Again.

Anyway, battleships are smarter than incestous murderers, so Yuki Nagato is the smarter of the two
—Tzetze, on whether Chiyo or Yuki is smarter.

"Pacific couldn't draw me, his hand would explode."

"TURKEY IS WHERE FOOD GOES TO DIE"

Look, if I have to construe reality in a certain way to prove a point, I'm going to do so.

"And if you donate right now, folks, well, this is a special offer, you can't get this anywhere else - 10% of your donation will go DIRECTLY to God. Yes, you heard me right. 10% will go DIRECTLY to the big Jee Man hisself."
—Tzetze mimicking an Evangelist.

"This troll is really courteous. He makes "ever fuck a goat?" seem like a perfectly logical thing to say."

Tze Tze: don't worry guys
Tze Tze: I figured out a use for my quotes page
Tze Tze: eventually I'll die
Tze Tze: and then
Tze Tze: You'll make a puppet
Tze Tze: and train it
Tze Tze: to say the quotes
Tze Tze: and it will be indistinguishable from me!
Tze Tze: INDISTINGUISHABLE.
Tze Tze: INEXTINGUISHABLE.
Tze Tze: A GOD IN PUPPET FORM.
"We will all move to Nebraska and then bomb it and then we will move to Mars which we will eat then, rape"

"fuck this i'm going to go light shit on fire"
—Tze Tze signing off Vent.

We do this so that we can reassure each other that we're actual human beings, and not cabbages in disguise or suchlike. Those cabbages are tricky. Tricky.
—Tzetze, on small talk.

"It's all a deep metaphysical and epistemological explanation. Like a Philip K Dick book. But

Okay I'm pretty sure this song isn't incoherent screaming about fellatio - oh god damn it >_<

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, NOT CHINESE CARTOONS

LISTEN TO ME YOU BITCHES
I AM GOING TO SEW YOUR SKINS TOGETHER TO MAKE FESTIVE COATS
FUCKING. HELL. YOU ARE AWESOME PEOPLE. FUCK. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHAT PERVERSE MALADY HAS INFECTED YOUR THRICE DAMNED SKULLS TO GIVE YOU SUCH FUCKING UNCONFIDENCE. I WOULD DOUBLE ALLCAPS THIS IF YOU COULD. YOU ARE THE MOST AWESOME PEOPLE THAT I EVER MET. FUUUUUUCK
FUCK YOU I'M ASLEEP.

- Tzetze giving a motivational speech.

"@I forget who this is aimed at: I forget how I was going to respond to your statement, or in fact what your statement was."

What does Burn My Dread even mean? That doesn't even mean anything.

I was going to shitpost but instead may I suggest castrating yourself.

"Melting people with yuri LIKE A BOSS"

And it reminds you of Polish because Polish is known for its use of dollar signs and parentheses in normal speech, of course!

"I'm actually kind of loathe to read old Eastern religious texts, because I like them way more than old Western religions texts, which makes me some kinda stupid hippie."

So I pretty much completely wasted today. Feeling good about it, though.

Yes. I am actually approximately half a megabyte of machine instructions and data. BUT IN WHAT SENSE CAN I BE SAID TO EXIST

Yes yes, you watched a video on the internet and now you know all about us. Calm down.

You don't understand, it's like finely aged wine. The shards of glass are part of the experience.

- Tzetze on vintage yuri.

CL-USER> (let ((tzetze 'tzetze)) (check-type tzetze humanity))
The value of TZETZE is TZETZE, which is not of type HUMANITY.
[Condition of type SIMPLE-TYPE-ERROR]
- Tzetze on his humanity

You know what else is fun? Orgies. Where do orgies put you? HELL.

"HOW WILL THE GUITARIST AND HOBBYIST DRAUGHTSMAN EVER DEAL WITH THIS"

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