Next slide, Gertrude.
Living buildings are surprisingly rare in this day and age, but there are some buildings that the uneducated consider 'alive'. These structures are, more likely, possessed by some thaumaturgical, demonic, or spiritual force.
How does one find a building that is truly alive? Next slide, Gertrude. Firstly, most living buildings, particularly houses, are very old, run down, and usually abandoned. Look for more modern neighborhoods- post-1950s especially- that have buildings in them that seem to date back to before 1900. If you see Beaver Cleaver's house next to the Addams Family's, there's a good chance the latter is alive.
Next, they are going to generate waste. That means that it is going to smell squalid. This is a picture of the basement of a specimen of Colonialis gigantis from Louisiana; as you can see, the dung resembles that of an elephant, but with- Gertrude, next slide-
But with inclusions of human bone and what we believe to be a small dog-
Oh, god dammit. There's a reason we provide the bags, you know. No matter, happens at least once a year. Next slide, Gertrude.
Living buildings are surprisingly rare in this day and age, but there are some buildings that the uneducated consider 'alive'. These structures are, more likely, possessed by some thaumaturgical, demonic, or spiritual force.
How does one find a building that is truly alive? Next slide, Gertrude. Firstly, most living buildings, particularly houses, are very old, run down, and usually abandoned. Look for more modern neighborhoods- post-1950s especially- that have buildings in them that seem to date back to before 1900. If you see Beaver Cleaver's house next to the Addams Family's, there's a good chance the latter is alive.
Next, they are going to generate waste. That means that it is going to smell squalid. This is a picture of the basement of a specimen of Colonialis gigantis from Louisiana; as you can see, the dung resembles that of an elephant, but with- Gertrude, next slide-
But with inclusions of human bone and what we believe to be a small dog-
Oh, god dammit. There's a reason we provide the bags, you know. No matter, happens at least once a year. Next slide, Gertrude.
—Architectural Zoologist, "Excerpts from Training Seminars for Lesser Known Foundation Careers", SCP Foundation
