Welcome back.
Previously...Zero kidnapped Sabrina. That's just about it. :/
So let's jump right back to the madness with...
Episode 2: Enter the Mystic Darkhog -- Venomous
We get our opening credits, which means, it's also time to replace "Crawling" with a new song. Today's theme song is "Blow" because dammit, I'm feeling rather goofy.
...God, "Crawling" wounds my soul. Why does that song even exist. Why.
So after the credits, Gyro stands up, realizing that Sabrina's gone. And why yes, we do get the same Speakonia voice, why do you ask? He knows that Zero has taken her away from him, and he decides to go after him.
Dude, Zero kicked your ass...I guess. In fact, what kind of powers do you even have?
Oh, wait, he decides to power up. And we cut to a jarring-as-hell moment when he does, with some sort of scream and lame-ass special effects. It's kinda like a screamer, except that had better effects on people. Scared as shit effects, but still.
And the "powering-up" sequence? Just a slideshow. Hate to really kill it even further.
So Gyro does power up, and his special ability...is going fast. Yeah. Aaaaaand he had the gall to state this: he's faster than Sonic the Hedgehog himself.
...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Where was that "speshul ability" when you tried to defeat fucking Zero? I mean...fuck, man, had you activated it earlier, you would have solved the damn plot by now!
In fact, this is simply a huge problem. Because, with Gyro being a Copy Cat Sue, "logically," you'd think that he would just power up, kick Zero's ass without any effort, everyone goes home happy, the end. But nope, somehow, he is always taken down without much of a fight.
And this is supposed to be our hero, to boot.
Then Gyro sees a dark hedgehog. This is Venomous. Our hero asks what he's doing here, and the Mook of the Week, his fist glowing, states that he should be asking the same thing. Gyro, being a dumbass, confuses Venomous for Zero. Understandably, Venomous is confused as to what in the living fuck Gyro's ranting about.
...and to the part where I find amusing. Gyro says to Venomous that he can't fool him with, and I quote, "stupid fur-color changes". Funny thing, that...the reason why I found it amusing is because...every single damn character have stupid color changes.
GyroHedgie453 poking fun at his own failures, or hypocrisy? You decide!
Venomous has a "WTF?" look on his face, and Gyro's determined to kick his ass. The foe decides to shoot Gyro with the Chaos Spear attack...which kicks his ass. Gyro concedes that Venomous isn't like Zero after all. Uh...dude. The next time you decide to kick someone's ass, first, introduce yourself and make a Badass Boast, then ask the foe their name. I'm not sure if it ever works, but...
Then Gyro offers Venomous a chance to join him. He's...joking, right? After accusing him of being a foe...what. If I was Venomous, I would say, "hell no".
Oh, wait, Venomous totally joins Gyro. God, this film.
The part ends with Venomous introducing himself, thus formally joining the team. And we get a picture of him with metal music.
Two parts down, three to go! Will the duo manage to defeat Zero? Will Gyro stop being a weak moron?
All these questions and more will be revealed on the next liveblogging of Gyro: Dark Chronicles!
