We start off Chapter 8 with Flathoof being treated for his injuries by his mother, who is taking the whole situation remarkably in stride. She has some choice words to say about how this proves her opinion that he never should have gone into law enforcement in the first place, but at this point I think she's just saying these things because she's always said them. I'll bet that she's secretly proud of him.
And she's appropriately saddened about what happened to Snapshot. (D:) It seems a little weird to me though, when did she ever meet Snapshot? I doubt Flathoof ever invited her over for dinner or something like that, and he seemed pretty oblivious to how much she liked him in the first place. Why is he agreeing with his mother when she said she thought it was only a matter of time until Snapshot was a part of the family?
Also, she's blaming Tick Tock for everything.
Applejack shows up...
Shortcake chuckled, “And about time too, if I do say so my-”
“Ma!”
Some more incest-shipping (Applejack/Flathoof. Come on, I'm not that perverted!) later, AJ offers to help him get dressed after his mom leaves the room. They talk about stuff and don't kiss.
Ah, Flathoof explains his feelings for Snapshot (D:). Basically, he thought there might be something there, but was too lazy to find out.
We meet some more of Flathoof's family. It's all pretty much unimportant, but fleshes out the setting and characters a bit so I don't mind that it's there. I hope they're not all slaughtered because Flathoof let the mane six and Tick Tock stay there. I don't think they will because Ganon already lampshaded that possibility, but you never know.
But really, if he doesn't provide a good answer to the shipping problem between the mane six and the native ponies, I'm gonna be real pissed. That's an issue that needs to be addressed.
Tick Tock is sad about what happened to Snapshot (D:).
Oh! Twilight's asking if there's other ways to restore the balance than sending them all back home. Purely for academic understanding of course. Let's see where this goes.
First idea, Princess Celestia choosing new elements of harmony. Drawbacks I can think of off hand, 1. She might not be able to if they're bonded to the mane six, 2. That still leaves the problem that the balance in this world is thrown off as far as they know. (They don't know about the evil clones, and I'm only guessing that they restore the balance anyways.) Tick Tock, what is your rebuttal to Twilight's solution?
Ooh, Tick Tock doesn't have her Time-Keeper. Seems that's a lot like the Doctor loosing his sonic screwdriver. She's screwed. And from what she said, it might not even be possible to get it back at all, because she left it in the Tardis and she needs it to open the Tardis. It all depends on if the door is still open or closed. If it's open and the baddies have access to it now, that could lead to all sorts of crapola. I really hope the baddies are smart enough to occupy her apartment, because that's one hell of an oversight if they haven't.
Wait no, she left it on the desk. I don't think that was in the Tardis. So, will the baddies recognize it for what it is?
Twi asks if they can go back for it. TT makes the rational decision of "no" because that's suicide. And it seems she really did leave the Tardis door open. Somehow, I get the feeling that this isn't going to play as much of a role in the "how can we fuck over the mane cast" part of the storyline as it should.
Wait, I forget. Was there any shipping flags with Twilight? I don't think there was. So far it's only Flathoof/Aj, Lockwood/Rarity, and Pinkie/Dash. That leaves Twi and Fluttershy forever alone.
And now it's time for them all to go to bed. Original plan to go to the Gate is unchanged.
Fluttershy and Rarity are sleeping in the same bed. I'll just let your imaginations run with that little fact.
Scene change to the next day and the Gate District. It's clean. And that makes it sinister.
They're talking about mutant ponies living underground. This may or may not become important later.
Pinkie Pie is being Chaotic Stupid again.
"I'll be honest, Pinkie, when I'm in your room the last thing on my mind is your weird hobbies," Rainbow chuckled.
Pinkie grumbled, “Yeah yeah, you’re more interested in my toys. And I ain’t talking about my action fig-”
“Pinkie Pie! Geez!” Rainbow flustered.
The Gate is big, and Twilight is wondering why. Normally I wouldn't care, but it gets the narrative away from Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash so as far as I'm concerned, it's the most important issue in the world. Also, why don't the pegasi just fly over the wall?
Nobody knows why it's big, and Rarity has a bit of a dirty mind. I like that.
Come on guys, it's not that weird for a city to have a large gate. Typically gates like that are only closed when there's no traffic or a threat to the city. How come nobody's bringing that up?
Approaching the gate itself...
Lockwood is talking about how they're using fake passports. In public. In the dystopian city. Fuck man! Haven't you ever heard about remote surveillance? Security cameras? Microphones? Flying robot drones?
Their passports are working and RD is complaining about how it's all too convenient. I agree with her, even though she's an idiot.
Tick Tock is last to scan her passport. She's being hesitant. Ooh, I get it. She has a real one. What if they've put out an APB on hers?
And Pinkie Pie starts singing. I'm going to take my usual "song lyrics appear in a story" route and ignore it completely. Because song lyrics in a story are never important to the story itself.
Oh look! I seem to be halfway done with the chapter. Hopefully Pinkie Pie gets vaporized in the second half by flying robot drones after Tick Tock's passport doesn't work.
Her passport worked. Doesn't mean I still don't think it's alerted the authorities to her presence though.
Fluttershy is huddling against Rarity as they walk through the spooky gate. I'll just let your imaginations run with that little fact.
Rarity does the lady-like thing and uses this conversation as an excuse to go flirt with Lockwood.
I hate it when Pinkie Pie is observant too. It just somehow makes her even more annoying. There's several rather graphically bloody derpibooru images that I won't link to showing what I want to happen to her.
Pinkie Combo alert!
It's a new one. They don't know what it means.
Wait no! It's reversed "watch for opening doors." That can't be good.
They start to run, but it's too late. They're trapped.
Debate about why this happened, and nobody seems to realize that Tick Tock is using a legit gate pass and is known to the authorities! Not to mention that they were talking in public about how they're using fake passes!
Military ponies are coming to take them away. Good. Because fuck these stupid ponies. With a nail-studded coconut.
Lockwood shot a hurt look at Rainbow Dash, “Really now, this isn’t my fault. Just a misunderstanding, I’m sure.”
Rainbow grumbled to herself, “Misunderstanding, right.”
Oh yeah, Flathoof has a valid pass too, doesn't he? Two ponies that are known to them. And it seems they had the rest of their names on file anyway.
Ooh, they're getting Flathoof for the murder of Snapshot. (D:) Good on you evil minions! I'm glad to know that you can properly frame a legit excuse to take ponies into custody. I mean, really, they practically wrote out the arrest warrants for you with all the stupid shit they've been doing. However, evil minions doing this stuff shouldn't have stupid grins like that. They should be cold and calm and unruffled. You gotta do it with a straight face, keep up appearances.
Twi's about to intervene. I wonder if she has enough MP for the spells she's gonna need to force her way out of this situation. The military ponies won't be much of an issue, but it is a big gate that she's gonna have to break open.
Ah, she's gonna form a magic gestalt with Rarity and Titty to open the doors. Dunno if they're even going to matter though. That's like turning on a flashlight while the sun is in the sky.
Anti-magic field on the gate. How you gonna solve this one Twi?
Tick Tock glared back, "Cute. You want an idea? Here's one. Take that ‘oh I’m the Element of Magic and the Princess’ prized pupil and I’m so special’ crap and shove it right up your-”
Cut to the most boring fight scene in the history of literature while the others try to keep the soldiers off of them.
Oh, Pinkie Pie is gone. I wonder if she's using her offscreen teleport abilities to get to the other side of the gate and open it. Ah no, she's just showing Titty where the control panel is so she can hack it. Because for Pinkie, metagaming is a legitimate strategy.
Cut back to boring fight combined with Pinkie Pie annoying.
And Twilight's still being stupid.
My "I want them to die horribly list" now looks like this. In descending order:
1. Pinkie Pie. (Because I hate her.)
2. RD. (Because I hate her.)
3. Rarity (Stupid cunt. Really, who abuses their friendship like that when somebody is scared and vulnerable?)
4. Twilight. (Because she's an obstinate, willfully obstructive, know-it-all asswipe whenever Tick Tock is around.)
Rarity heads back to the Battle of the Boring, because she fulfilled her only narrative purpose in going to the gate, getting Twi and TT to stop trying to verbally skewer each other while the rest of their friends are in mortal peril.
Pinkie Pie and RD decapitate one of the soldiers. That's kind of funny. I think they might have been robots anyways. Which is another reason they should have lost those stupid grins back when they were going to arrest all of the good guys.
Yup, they're robots. I honestly don't know how this is stupid, but my inner storyteller has been yelling "Bullshit!" ever since the mane six arrived at the Gate, so I'm gonna go ahead and say that the robots are stupid too. But at least they have the saving grace of not being Pinkie Pie.
Oh never mind. I guess Jetstream isn't a robot after all. I take back the emotion part, but they're still smarter than the mane six.
Titty just screwed up the gate, but she says she can fix it! To tell the truth, I've been getting a bit annoyed with how unreasonably antagonistic she's been acting towards Twilight too. She's catching the stupid. And she fixes it, with Percussive Maintenance. Time to open the door.
You know, I think it would be awesome if one of them accidentally killed a real soldier while thinking it was a robot.
And everypony makes it to the far side of the gate just in time to keep from being squished into little squishy bits of squish. The doors behind them are also conveniently broken so that nopony can follow.
—-
Post chapter summary. I fucking hate the mane six. Everything else has alternating moments of "neato" and "this could prove lame down the road, but I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for now.
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