days and had her dad executed in front of her. Also, there's guards all over the city looking for her.
As of the start of this chapter, things aren't looking much better. Yes, she escaped from the city with Yoren (Of the Night Watch), and is currently headed for Winterfell, her home, but now she has to pretend she's a boy, and is faced with... middle school bullies, medieval version. Lommy Greenhands and Hot Pie, skinny and fat, respectively, both orphans. There's another orphan too, Bull; tall, strong, dark haired, and strangely attached to a horned helm... probably no one important! Let's go back to children antics.
Arya's sword catches Lommy's attention, and he doesn't fail to tease her about it, Hot Pie then demands her to hand it to him. Bad idea, after some threats on their part, Arya decides she's had enough of their bullshit and beats the crap out of the fat kid with her training sword. Yoren is not pleased by this, and makes sure she'll remember it... spanking? what is this, the dark ages?
Things get quieter after the incident, Hot Pie can barely move at all, and Greenhands is terrified. This gives Arya the chance to be melacholic, she longs for Winterfell, yes, but she misses her half-brother even more.
Sansa
Sansa's life hasn't been dresses and parties either... well, actually, it has. But also beatings, insults and all kinds of abuse. Not right now, though, Ser Arys, who came for her, is a strange case of a member of the Kingsguard that isn't a complete toolbag (a case might be made for Sandor Clegane, but the Hound's chain is short). They're discussing the comet, and it becomes apparent that Sansa's love for Joffrey is long gone; hard to blame her, with that of his executing her father, threatening her permanently and having her beat frequently. Today's his birthday, it would seem, and they're hosting a tourney for it. A lame one, at it; as it happens, it's hard to gather a lot of knights when there's war raging throughout the continent. We've got the Kingsguard, an exile prince, two functional prisoners a bunch of of other losers and rejects.
In any case, they reach the place where the tournament is held, and find Joffrey, his siblings and, of course, his bodyguard. News of Viserys death have finally arrived to Westeros, the king seems relieved to have one less contender for the throne, if only he knew it's his sister he should take care of.
The tourney began, and it was as disappointing as they expected, with the only noteworthy event being the match between Lothor Brune (you might remember him as "that guy who's marginally better at jousting than Jory") and Ser Dontos the Red. Or rather, the lack of it. Ser Dontos shows up drunk, unable to ride his horse, and more concerned about getting more wine than the joust. Despite being the high point of of the day, entertainment wise, Joffrey gets mad and tries to get Dontos killed, yet he relents thanks to Sansa's pleas (and machinations) and Clegane's backing. Instead, he names him the court's fool, which many would agree is a better fate than being literally drowned with wine.
The tournament gets called off, yet Tommen gets his chance to ride against a straw knight. He fares poorly, but you've got to give him props for trying, he's a sweet kind, like his sister and much unlike his brother. Must've taken after his uncle (the real uncle, I mean).
Speaking of which, guess who's back in town? Leading his loyal savages and trustworthy sellswords, Westeros' favourite dwarf rides into the Red Keep, sporting a beard to go with his shadowskin cloak. After a warm welcome by his nephews (the good ones), he approaches Joff & Co, and much mockery ensues. After the not!Baratheons leave, he shares a few words with Sansa.
While the Imp displays kindness she might've long forgotten, she does not let her guard down, after seeing what trusting Cersei got her, it's not hard to see her point.
It's hard to say who of the girls has it worse... In any case, Arya's chapter was rather uneventful, but it's good to keep track of where's everyone. I'd like Robert's bastard to have a large role but my red herring senses are tingling. In Sansa's side, the chapter emphasizes the Hound's kind... nah, too strong a word, his "decency" would be more fitting. Joffrey may not be a real Baratheon, but he's no less a fool than his "father"; luckily for them, Tyrion has arrived and, if we're lucky, he might be able to bring peace to the realms...
... OK, OK, that can't possibly happen. But at least he'll keep us entertained while everything goes to hell.
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