I must be having one of those epic Slendy-induced bouts of short-term memory loss, because somehow it completely slipped my mind that in my last marathon attempt I had also managed to sneak in Episode 3, "Dreams & Eating." No big deal, except that it means that the episode after this one shall be when the fecal matter shall officially get real for me. (Not unless all that will happen after Episode 6.)
Fortunately I have developed yet another new viewing strategy: Eat one full meal before attempting to view as many episodes as you can in one sitting.
Anyway, let's move on.
0:01 - The "Cookies, Cookies, Cookies, And Cookies" intro, as memefied by the fandom. Say what you will about supermarkets, but the beauty of them is that they're so bright, bland and well-lit that you hardly ever expect anything horrible to happen inside them. (The exception is when you find yourself in the middle of a zombie movie, in which case you can pick up some non-perishable food and say your prayers on your way out.)
0:11 - I imagine this bit made a lot of viewers jump out of their seats, then pissed them off.
0:18 - They changed up the style of the credits, this time to more of a "Nature Sounds Meets Cliche Floating Title Text" motif. (That's a fence lamp. Get a grip.)
0:23 - Daaaah, static! (I really need to acclimate to these jump scares more.) Vince returns for another opening narration segment. The dummy in the background is now in more of either a Stick 'Em Up pose or a "Y in YMCA" pose. (Hey, you'll never know.)
0:29 - Junk food affects your dreams. If this guy in the middle of a horror vlog series didn't mention it, I never would have believed it. There's something new written in the white card in the background this time (the one where we saw "Next Week: Dreams"), and I'm having trouble making out the writing. Dangit. (Now I'm guessing it must have said "Next Week: Cardio", because that's the title of the next episode.)
0:30 - We cut back to Evan in the Supermarket Where Nothing Bad Can Possibly Happen (Except In A Zombie Movie). Wow, wall-to-wall Chips Ahoy. And I'm more a fan of the strawberry-flavored Fig Newtons myself. Does that make them Berry Newtons?
0:52 - Suddenly I had this random impulse to turn my volume down. Don't want another one of those Jump Scare heart attacks.
1:02 - Aaaaah! Nuts! RUN AWAY!
1:36 - Other people must be watching this part right now and wishing the Slender Man would just show up already. Not me. No sirree bob.
1:55 - "This has been another installment of Consumer Advice With Evan the Doomed Fitness Guy. We now return to your regularly scheduled programming."
2:05 - Am I the only one seeing those eerie deep recesses around Evan's eyes? Can those be counted as actual symptoms of insomnia yet? Or am I just bad at identifying normal-looking human faces?
2:13 - Am expecting some strategically-timed static/distortion any minute now.
2:16 - How long is Vince supposed to just sit there saying nothing anyway?
2:21 - The door is ajar. Get a grip.
2:31 - That's an odd, faraway expression on Vince's face. Has he had some bad dreams lately? Or is the pacing on this episode just that messed up?
2:37 - Is that a pinball machine in their room? Lucky.
2:41 - Oh, there you are, Vince's voice.
2:53 - Thank you for leaving out the part about you being naked while falling from a great height.
3:02 - Okay, now I see it. Evan looks really stressed/tense/disturbed in the scene. Maybe he could use a hug. Or coffee.
3:06 - Now he looks like he has a headache. Excellent timing on that question, Vincent.
3:10 - When Evan says "What?", I could've sworn he was trying to suppress a small smile. They must really be enjoying this vlog project of theirs. Aaaand there goes the static again.
