Sponsor, by Teairra Mari feat. Gucci Mane and Soulja Boy, represents the shallowness and materialism of today's pop music quite well.
(feat.Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy)
ALL: NOOOO!! NOT THESE TWO AGAIN!!
I know you see the colors in the colors in my chain
Shorty see the diamonds in the diamonds on my ring
TOM: So this guy has colours in colours and diamonds in diamonds? We haven’t made it to the first verse and already I’m confused.
I can get cha I can get cha get cha anything
MIKE: Except for lessons on how to get over your stutter.
Cha ching money ain't a thang
[Verse 1: Gucci Mane]
Gucci
CROW: That saying your name thing is really annoying. Crow!
I can be da co pilot
You can do da drivin
MIKE: Is Gucci Mane so lazy that he has to have someone else drive his Benz around the city?
You can be da star baby
I can be ya stylist
TOM: Oh, what would you know about women’s hair, Gucci?
No my name not gilligan
But let's go to an island
CROW: We can practice cannibalism! It’ll be fun!
Love to make you smile
But id rather by ya diamonds
MIKE: Gucci Mane cares not for human emotions! Gucci Mane only cares for material possessions!!
And if I'm far away from you the ring will be remindin
That nobody can do ya better do I treat ya kindly
TOM: Did two ideas just fuse into one sentence?
And I ain't tryna flatter you but I think you the finest damn you gettin thick
I hope you don't go on a diet
I just bought you a dress cause tonight I will be blindin
CROW: But how will anyone see it if they’re blinded?
Watch, chain, ring, earrings
And they shinin
Gucci Mane La'Flare
MIKE: Is the worst stage name ever.
But baby you can call me icy
So tell me fi they hate on me
Cause I don't want him to like me
TOM: Wait, who’s the “him” in this equation? What’s going on?
[Verse 2: Teairra Mari]
CROW: Who?
TOM: I have no idea.
MIKE Me neither.
He put them low profiles on my car
He treats me to a pedi plus manicure
CROW [singing]: He throws money to starving orphans so they can buy diamonds too!!
Anything I ask for from my sponsor he go and bu-bu-bu-buy buy
A baby blue madalion I just got
My feet they speak italian walk so hot
TOM: Hey, Mike? What language do your feet speak?
CROW: I think they’re mute, but they sure smell bad!
MIKE [offended]: Hey!
I tell him baby thanks alot
My sponsor he go and bu-bu-buy buy
MIKE: Remember, girls, always date rich men! You’ll never have worry about supporting yourself again!
[Hook:]
He ain't no square
CROW: He’s the bee’s knees, Daddy-o!!
He just likes to share
In love with a tip for throwin hundreds in the air
Throw some over here
And loui drop the loui drop the loui in my lap
TOM: I know a guy who has an anvil named Loui. I’ll see if he’s around.
[Chorus:]
Yeaaah (and all my ladies say)
MIKE: Female empowerment? What’s that?
Yeaaah (the go go girls say)
Yeaaah (hey hey)
I got myself a sponsor
CROW: Y’know, I’d never thought I’d say this, but I really want to hear some Beyoncé right now.
Yeeaaah (to fill up a drank for me)
Yeeaaah (to fill up a tank for me)
TOM: Yeeaaah (to get me some more plastic surgery)
Yeeaaah (to put something in the bank for)
I got myself a sponsor
MIKE: Good for you. Now get a job!
[Verse 3:]
Every weekend I see dominicans in the chair
She can bring out the featurs in my hair
CROW: Mike? Who are all these other people they keep referring to?
MIKE: Their imaginary friends?
Add a couple tracks for flare
My sponsor he go and bu-bu-buy buy
He must be a rapper, baller, doctor, dentist
Corner boy, cook chef, chemist
TOM: Well, temp’s not in there, Mike. Guess you’re out of luck.
MIKE [feigning disappointment]: And I was looking forward to being her sponsor too…
I don't even care
Just so long as he goes and bu-bu-buy buy
CROW: Remember, this song is on iTunes ™ right now, so go out and bu-bu-buy-buy!!
[Hook:]
He ain't no square
He just likes to share
MIKE [Teairra]: Just not with any of you poor folk.
In love with a tip for throwin hundreds in the air
TOM: Now what does that lyric mean?
CROW: Yes.
Throw some over here
And loui drop the loui drop the loui in my lap
[Chorus:]
Yeaaah (and all my ladies say)
Yeaaah
MIKE: (all the riffers say)
BOTS: Noooo!!
(the go go girls say)
Yeaaah (hey hey)
I got myself a sponsor
CROW: I have a sponsor too!! He’s the reason why I can buy so many delicious Egg Mc Muffins™ at Mc Donalds™!!
Yeeaaah (to fill up a drank for me)
Yeeaaah (to fill up a tank for me)
TOM [singing]: Yeeaaah (To bulldoze the houses of poor people away so that my own personal mall can be built!)
Yeeaaah (to put something in the bank for)
I got myself a sponsor
[Verse 4: Soulja Boy]
MIKE: Strap in, guys, things are about to get a lot more pointless around here.
Baby girl like the way I tote the loui bag
CROW [falsetto]: Oh, wow! It’s sooo hot when the bag hangs off your shoulder like that!
Soulja boy tell em got a million dolla swagg
We gettin money
All about the dollar
TOM: This makes “Omaha Mall” look subtle.
Poppin these tags
Like I'm poppin my collar
Hit her on twitter
So she can follow me
MIKE: Hey, this song must be a prequel to “LOL Smiley Face”!!
Later on you end up with me
We gon end up on TMZ
CROW: As the least talked about celebrity couple of all time.
I'm so fly
ALL: But are you fly like a G6?
I'm fly as I can be
I can take you out to go shoppin
Then to get somethin to eat
TOM [sarcastic]: What woman wouldn’t be charmed by those vague plans?
Soulja!
[Bridge:]
Yeeah (yeeah)
CROW: Do we have to riff this?
Yeeah (yeeah)
Put yo hands in the air
If you don't care
MIKE [Teairra,defiant]: That’s right, I don’t support myself! What are you going to do about it?
Say yeah
If you tryna get it
That's some work
TOM: Boy, does this bridge belong in a different song.
Then come with it
[Chorus]:
Yeaaah (and all my ladies say)
Yeaaah (the go go girls say)
CROW: Support the Goldiggers Society?
Yeaaah (hey hey)
I got myself a sponsor
Yeeaaah (to fill up a drank for me)
MIKE [Teairra]: What do you expect? I’m rich now! I can get someone else to do my basic tasks!
Yeeaaah (to fill up a tank for me)
Yeeaaah (to put something in the bank for)
I got myself a sponsor
MIKE: I dunno. I wouldn’t feel too proud if I had to rely on Soulja Boy for my source of income.
Buy buy
TOM: The song’s over! We can leave! Yay!
Bu bu buy buy
Bu bu buy buy
Bu bu buy buy
CROW [announcer] : That was Teairra Mari encouraging you to buy more crap!
Well? You heard Teairra Mari! Go out and bu-bu-buy-buy!!
Comments
I know you see the colors in the colors in my chain 