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"Shadow Magic"? Pardon, but were you a fan of Yu-Gi-Oh! when you wrote this? Because that's what they call magic in that world. Also, as a book, TV show, or movie, this would be, yes, awful, however, you needn't change much storywise were you to make it a video game. And some extra chara, reveal she's not related to her uncle, make it so the early stuff doesn't happen until she's about sixteen, or start with her remembering it, and you are on the way to a decent dating sim!