Line #12 WesternAnimation/CrossingSwords


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crossingswords.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:''[[{{Tagline}} The dark ages are about to get lit.]]'']]
3
4	''Crossing Swords'' is an adult animated comedy premiering on June 12, 2020 on Hulu, created by John Harvatine IV and Tom Root, who were previously best known for their writing and directing duties on ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken''. Just like ''Robot Chicken'', it is in StopMotionAnimation, but instead of Barbie doll-like figurines, small wooden peg-like dolls not unlike the ones you see from vintage Fisher Price toys are used. Despite what this would have you believe, the show is ''far'' from being for kids, as you would expect from a SpiritualSuccessor to ''Robot Chicken''.
5
6	The series takes place in the TheMiddleAges and follows young [[LoserProtagonist Patrick]] who achieves his life-long dream of becoming a squire for the [[TheCaligula tyrannical]] and [[UpperClassTwit inept]] King Merriman and Queen Tulip, and instantly regrets it after finding out [[BrokenPedestal the truth about them]]. Even worse, his [[BigBrotherBully criminal siblings]] have also returned to make his life hell. Throughout the series he is forced into all sorts of misadventures that go completely against his morals.
7
8	The show was cancelled after two seasons.
9	----
10	!!''Crossing Swords'' provides examples of:
11	* AbusiveParents: Patrick is heavily TheUnfavorite in the family and even his father seems to regret having children in general. His mother is at least more sensible, if apathetic to Patrick’s problems
12	* AdvertisingByAssociation: “From the minds behind Robot Chicken”. Complete with a cluck!
13	* AerithAndBob: Along with normal names like Patrick, Barry, and Glenn, there are also weird names like Broth, Blarney, Keefer, and Blinkerquartz.
14	* AlcoholInducedIdiocy: In the Season 2 HalloweenEpisode, Patrick going into full heavy-drinking "Party Patrick" mode is the reason why [[spoiler:he doesn't pay attention to Blossom being stuck in the mirror dimension, and has sex with her undead aunt]].
15	* AloofBigBrother / [[AloofBigSister Sister]]: Ruben and Coral are this to Patrick, though Blarney gets some level of respect from them.
16	* AmusingInjuries: In "Let Them Eat Clown", the rival kings get mauled by a bear, shot by arrows, and their heads smashed by swinging logs, and in the next scene are shown completely fine with only a few bandages on their heads.
17	* AwwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther: In the season one finale Patrick's siblings come to the castle to loot after the royals have been kidnapped, while at first dismissing him they eventually unite to help him fight of [[spoiler:Sloane's]] army. Again in season two [[spoiler:when Patrick was sentenced to gladiatorial combat by the new king and about to be eaten by a dragon, all his siblings [[MamaBear along with his mother]] jump into the arena to act as human shields.]]
18	* BadassFamily: Patrick is a squire, his siblings are a pirate queen, a Forrest bandit and an alcoholic birthday clown. Though none of them besides Coral are taken very seriously, the season one finale shows each of them to be a CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass.
19	* BaitAndSwitchPerformance: In "In The Line of Squire", when Princess Blossom takes the stage with her new boyfriend Keefer to sing at Beast Feast, she sings a very high energy duet with him, one that gets the crowd very excited. Cut to her actual performance, it's just her singing, she's incredibly off key and screechy, and the crowd is silent and uncomfortable.
20	* BarbieDollAnatomy: Entirely averted; the dolls have carved out private parts, which tend to be shown at least once every episode.
21	* BlackComedy: Just like its [[WesternAnimation/RobotChicken predecessor]], the show revels in this.
22	* BreadEggsMilkSquick: "An execution is a sometimes treat, like ice cream, dancing, and butt stuff."
23	* BrokenPedestal: In the Season 2 finale, Patrick is finally in position to work with the knights he's idolized for so long. Unfortunately, [[spoiler:they completely refuse to help Patrick save their people, plan to just flood the mole people civilization to kill both the moles and the human hostages (including the king and queen), break their promise of delaying the flood for an hour to give Patrick a chance to enact his plan, and celebrate by stabbing the corpses of the drowned mole people as Patrick tries to explain that he had nearly been able to resolve things peacefully]]. It's enough to make Patrick finally demand to quit, but [[spoiler:King Merriman forcibly knights him (and a pizza delivery girl that forgot the garlic knots) to deal with an incoming invasion of multiple kingdoms]].
24	* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Everyone on this show is this to a degree, the queen actually bought Patrick being a pregnant young girl virgin in the first ep, The king agrees that torture shouldn't be mandatory, seeing it as a 'sometime treat'. Special mention goes to Broth, who chases butterfly for their butter, calls the other recruit a 'white asshole' due to being a diversity hire due to mother being a Viking (not realizing viking are Caucasian).
25	* CheatersNeverProsper: Averted; cheating is what everyone does in the squire competition and nobody bats an eye at it.
26	* CruelAndUnusualDeath: In the second episode, the king orders the creation of an execution device that causes this in addition to NoKillLikeOverkill, as a twisted attempt to increase his public approval by getting them excited for a public execution. The audience turns out to be so horrified at the device that they start to respect him out of fear.
27	* CruelTwistEnding: Pretty much every episode’s ending involves Patrick accidentally killing someone.
28	* DisappointingPromotion: Throughout the series, Patrick dreamed about becoming a knight, complete with fantasies of splendor. At the conclusion of the second season, because the kingdom had fallen to the mole people, Patrick is hastily promoted to knight. Instead of the pageantry he thought he get, the knighting consisted of Princess Blossom tapping Patrick with a sword and saying "Boop, boop, you're a knight", which she repeats on Broth and herself, to his disappointment. [[spoiler:When the kingdom is faced with the prospect of war, King Merriman has to repeat the motions as Blossom never had the authority to knight anyone, even as Patrick angrily attempts to resign due to his frustration over the kingdom's greed and incompetence.]]
29	* EternalSexualFreedom: One episode had [[TheRival Holden]] engaged to the prince of another kingdom and his father the king hosted the wedding with Queen Tulip and King Merriman in attendance.
30	* EvenEvilHasLovedOnes:
31	** King Merriman and Queen Tulip are both very protective and caring of their daughter, Princess Blossom, even despite how much of a [[BrattyTeenageDaughter disrespectful brat]] she is.
32	** Due to character development when Patrick pleaded for his sibling to help him, they decided to fight the bad guy's grunt for Patrick's sake.
33	* EveryoneHasStandards: Despite admitting that she's okay with [[PedoHunt underage sex]], Queen Tulip still wants the sex to be completely "consensual" because in her words, [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil "I'm not a monster"]].
34	* FantasyKitchenSink: In addition to the usual wizards, fairies, and dragons that are present in the medieval fantasy genre, the show's universe also has a minotaur and gorgon (which are from Greek mythology) and krakens (which are Scandinavian).
35	* GirlPosse: [[AlphaBitch Princess Blossom]] has one of her own, though she isn't very kind to them and treats them merely as servants rather than [[WithFriendsLikeThese friends]].
36	* GoodAdulteryBadAdultery: Zigzagged in the sense that it more gray then either good or bad. Queen Tulip and King Merriman are obviously unhappily married and are constantly cheating on each other. They never find out though, even despite it being extremely obvious, as Patrick lampshades.
37	* GroinAttack: Patrick has suffered this a lot as a kid from his sister and his method around it proves useful when everyone starts doing it to each other in the squire competition.
38	* IgnoredEpiphany: Coral, Ruben, and Blarney spend a day taking care of a rapidly aging creature they call Beanie. After Beanie is killed in a SuicideByCop, the three siblings wonder if their experience has taught them to be better people, as well as better children to their parents. This is quickly thrown out the window when Doreen comes home and the trio promptly start acting like dicks to her.
39	* ImAHumanitarian: As it's revealed in "Let Them Eat Clown", the cult that King Merriman is part of hunts and eats clowns as part of a ritual.
40	* {{Pirates}}: Yes, there’s also pirates, and Patrick's sister Coral is a very successful and ruthless PirateGirl.
41	* PurelyAestheticEra: The show is meant to take place in medieval times, yet still throws in entirely modern things like [[NewAgeRetroHippie New Age Retro Hippies]], [[WildTeenParty Wild Teen Parties]], rock festivals, and water parks. It also has things from other time periods, such as [[UsefulNotes/TheGoldenAgeOfPiracy 16th-17th century pirates]], a [[EgyptIsStillAncient pharaoh]], and even a cowboy.
42	* RulingFamilyMassacre: [[spoiler:Sloane plans to do this with the current ruling family so she and her mother can be in charge (And even then is planning to throw her mother under the bus to sway Patrick to become an ally)]].
43	* SequelHook:
44	** The first season ends with [[spoiler:Sloane meeting the Old King, presumably with a new plan to usurp the throne]]. ToBeContinued...
45	** The second season ends with [[spoiler:the kingdom under attack by rival kingdoms]].
46	* ShoutOut:
47	** Ruben's subplot in "The A-mooo-zing Race" is a parody of ''Film/CallMeByYourName''.
48	** During the RollercoasterMine segment in the Season 2 finale, [[Film/IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom Indiana Jones, Short Round, and Willie Scott]] arrive riding another minecart before [[spoiler:an armored mole man]] knocks them off the tracks.
49	* SpeakOfTheDevil: The Season 2 HalloweenEpisode, "Knight of the Fucking Dead", has Princess Blossom dared into reciting the in-universe version of [[UrbanLegends the Bloody Mary legend]] and end up trapped in a mirror dimension while [[spoiler:her deceased Aunt Donna]] is let loose in her world.
50	* TakenForGranite: Happens to one of the knights-in-training during a trip to a gorgon-inhabited island and he stays like that throughout the series. [[MummiesAtTheDinnerTable The others continue to treat him like he's still part of the program]]. [[AndIMustScream It turns out that he's still alive and aware]] in the penultimate season 2 episode.
51	* TranslatorMicrobes: Lampshaded in the Season 2 finale, when Patrick is instructed to stand underneath a giant crystal while trying to understand [[spoiler:the mole people]]. He thinks it will grant him knowledge in a semi-scientific, semi-magical fashion... but it just falls and knocks him on the head, giving him temporary inner ear issues that lets him understand [[spoiler:the mole people]]'s incredibly high-pitched voices (though from other people's perspectives, he's now capable of talking in an equally unintelligible pitch).
52	* UnexplainedAccent: A lot of the characters speak in English accents, yet some characters like Patrick and Broth speak in American accents. Princess Blossom oddly has a ValleyGirl accent despite her mother sounding British and her father speaking in a normal American accent.
53	* VagueAge: Patrick's age is never explicitly stated, though he's heavily implied to be 18 or 19.
54	* VirginShaming: Patrick's virginity is often brought up to emphasize how much of a "loser" he is. He finally loses it in the Season 2 HalloweenEpisode... but unfortunately, it's to [[spoiler:the revived corpse of Aunt Donna]], instantly tanking any newfound respect that "Party Patrick" had earned from his peers.

Context WesternAnimation / CrossingSwords