Line #31 Quotes/IntimidatingRevenueService


1	->''"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."''
2	-->-- '''Creator/BenjaminFranklin''', ''Letter to Jea-Baptiste Leroy'', 1789
3
4	->''"Internal Revenue Service. This was one of those rare government buildings in which someone who uses a calculator for a living can wield more power than a person who carries a gun."''
5	-->-- '''Nick Bilton''', ''American Kingpin''
6
7	->''"Are the neighbors watching me?\
8	Well, is the mailman watching me?\
9	And I don't feel safe anymore!\
10	Oh, what a mess!\
11	I wonder who's watching me now?\
12	The '''''[[AnythingButThat IRS]]'''''?!"''
13	-->-- '''Rockwell''', "Somebody's Watching Me"
14
15	->''"If you drive a car, I'll tax the street\
16	If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat\
17	If you get too cold I'll tax the heat\
18	If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet"''
19	-->--'''Music/TheBeatles''', "Taxman"
20
21	->''"Perhaps ''everyone'' runs from the 'tax-man'?"''
22	-->-- '''Leela''', ''Series/DoctorWho'' - "[[Recap/DoctorWhoS15E4TheSunMakers The Sun Makers]]"
23
24	->''"This was a noble house once, lad! [=McDucks=] sailed forth in fear o' no man born o' woman ... except maybe the tax collector!"''
25	-->--''Comicbook/TheLifeAndTimesOfScroogeMcDuck''
26
27	->'''Lister:''' Relax, it doesn't matter now. Not gonna catch you now, are they?\
28	'''Rimmer:''' What? Just because we're three million years into deep space and the human species is extinct? That means nothing to these people. They'll find us.
29	-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf'', "[[Recap/RedDwarfSeasonIIBetterThanLife Better Than Life]]", after Rimmer receives an ancient tax bill from Outland Revenue.
30
31	->''"Commander, the IRS has been called a terrorist enclave. Rest assured, we are."''
32	-->-- ''VideoGame/StrikeCommander''
33
34	->''"When Creator/ChuckNorris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself crouched and ready to attack. Creator/ChuckNorris has never had to pay taxes. Ever."''\
35	\
36	''"...That's not true! That is '''not''' true!''"
37	-->-- ''[[https://youtu.be/WYLvdLWkhk8?t=108 Chuck Norris hears his own facts...]]''
38
39	->''"Uncle Sam: Reaching into your shirt and squeezing your tit till it's purple."''
40	-->-- '''Captain Byron Hadley''', ''Film/TheShawshankRedemption''
41
42	->''"Gosh! I never get mail! I wonder who sent this.\
43	\
44	There's no return address! In its place there's a crude human skull with X's for eyes and its tongue hanging out!\
45	\
46	Maybe it's the IRS."''
47	-->--'''Calvin''', ''ComicStrip/CalvinAndHobbes''
48
49	->''"[For] the Taxxons, [[HorrorHunger who were massive worms that lived in a constant state of insatiable hunger that at times drove them to cannibalism]], we’re pretty sure they were invented on or around April 15[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke The day when Americans are supposed to pay their taxes]][[/note]]."''
50	-->--Creator/KAApplegate on one of ''{{Literature/Animorphs}}''' more outstanding alien species
51
52	->'''Miles Cramer:''' I can't reach you... I can't beat you... [[{{Determinator}} and you won't give up]]?\
53	'''ComicBook/TheFlash:''' Nope. I promised to collect these taxes.\
54	'''Miles Cramer:''' [[KnowWhenToFoldEm Very well]].
55	-->-- ''The Flash Vol 2 #52''
56
57	->'''Saul:''' Humor me for a second. You know you need to launder your money, right? Do you understand the basics of it; placement, layering, integration?\
58	'''Jesse:''' I ain't buying no damn hair salon, so just forget it.\
59	'''Saul:''' Well, you want to stay out of jail, don't yah? You want to keep your money ''and'' your freedom? 'Cuz I got three little letters for you, I-R-S. If they can get [[UsefulNotes/AlCapone Capone]], they can get ''you''.
60	-->--''Series/BreakingBad'', "[[Recap/BreakingBadS3E9Kafkaesque Kafkaesque]]"
61
62	->'''Government:''' You owe us money. It's called taxes.\
63	'''Me:''' How much do I owe?\
64	'''Government:''' You have to figure that out.\
65	'''Me:''' I just pay what I want?\
66	'''Government:''' Oh, no we know exactly how much you owe. But you have to guess that number too.\
67	'''Me:''' What if I get it wrong?\
68	'''Government:''' You go to prison.
69	-->--Website/{{Twitter}}, on why dealing with taxes are both frustrating and intimidating.

Context Quotes / IntimidatingRevenueService