Line #97 Quotes/HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Comic Books]]
4	->'''Midnighter''': ...it was just this pathetic little man going of to meet his ultimately quite ''mundane'' fate...\
5	'''Timecop''': It's ''always'' some pathetic little man. I seen ninety percent of the greatest scumbags in history up close, an' I can tell you: [[UsefulNotes/GenghisKhan Khan]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Cambodia}} Pol Pot]], [[UsefulNotes/{{Caligula}} Caligula]], [[UsefulNotes/TheSpanishInquisition Torquemada]], whoever, you look at any one of these worms an' you wonder how people didn't spot 'em a mile off. But they always end up on top anyhow, somehow...\
6	'''Midnighter''': Because people want them there. Adolf got elected, let's not forget.\
7	'''Timecop''': True, Dave. [[HumansAreBastards People suck]]. [[TheDungAges The past sucks]]. But [[TheAntiNihilist that ain't no excuse for not trynna change the future]].
8	-->-- ''ComicBook/TheAuthority''
9
10	->''"Ach, another time traveler. [[IgnoredEpiphany I must have done something]] '''[[IgnoredEpiphany terrible]]''' [[IgnoredEpiphany in a past life to face so many assassins.]]"''
11	-->-- '''Adolf Hitler''' after killing a time traveler, ''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}} #26''
12	[[/folder]]
13
14	[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
15	->'''Rhodey:''' Lemme ask you something. If we can do this - y'know, go back in time - why don't we just find baby Thanos, y'know, and... ''([[CrossesTheLineTwice makes a gesture of]] [[WouldHurtAChild strangling a baby with a rope]])''\
16	'''Banner:''' ''[shocked]'' First of all, [[DudeNotFunny that's horrible...]]\
17	'''Rhodey:''' It's ''Thanos!''\
18	'''Banner:''' ...And second, [[OurTimeTravelIsDifferent time doesn't work that way!]]
19	-->-- ''Film/AvengersEndgame''
20	[[/folder]]
21
22	[[folder:Literature]]
23	->Shoot the dictator and prevent the war? But the dictator is merely [[InherentInTheSystem the tip of the whole festering boil of social pus from which dictators emerge]]; shoot one, and there'll be another one along in a minute. Shoot him too? [[KnightTemplar Why not shoot everyone and invade Poland?]]
24	-->-- ''Literature/LordsAndLadies''
25
26	->''"My mission is done. Future generations will be spared the horrors of that madman's ambitions for all time."''
27	-->-- '''Paul Driscoll''', triggering the rise of an even ''worse'' Fuehrer in ''Literature/WebersGermanyTheVeterinarianTotalitarian''
28
29	->"The name Hitler does not offend a black South African because Hitler is not the worst thing a black South African can imagine. [[ProtagonistCenteredMorality Every country thinks their history is the most important, and that’s especially true in the West]]. But if black South Africans could go back in time and kill one person, [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cecil_Rhodes Cecil Rhodes]] would come before Hitler. If people in the Congo could go back in time and kill one person, Belgium’s [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leopold_II_of_Belgium King Leopold]] would come way before Hitler. If Native Americans could go back in time and kill one person, it would probably be UsefulNotes/ChristopherColumbus or UsefulNotes/AndrewJackson.
30
31	->"I often meet people in the West who insist UsefulNotes/TheHolocaust was the worst atrocity in human history, without question. Yes, it was horrible. But I often wonder, with African atrocities like in the Congo, how horrific were they? The thing Africans don’t have that Jewish people do have is documentation. The Nazis kept meticulous records, took pictures, made films. … Six million killed. We can all look at that number and be rightly horrified. But when you read through the history of atrocities against Africans, there are no numbers, only guesses. It’s harder to be horrified by a guess. When Portugal and Belgium were plundering Angola and the Congo, they weren’t counting the black people they slaughtered. How many black people died harvesting rubber in the Congo? In the gold and diamond mines of the Transvaal? So in Europe and America, yes, Hitler is the Greatest Madman in History. In Africa [[ButForMeItWasTuesday he’s just another strongman from the history books.]]"
32	-->-- '''Creator/TrevorNoah''', ''Literature/BornACrime'', deconstructing this trope
33
34	->"I could go back and kill Hitler. Isn't that every time traveler's dream?"
35	-->--'''Far''', ''Literature/{{Invictus}}''
36	[[/folder]]
37
38	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
39	->''"It's 1928. You meet this Bohemian student in a café, and he tries to sell you one of his third-rate watercolors. You refuse. He gets furious. You can see the evil in his eyes. And then someone tells you...that this impudent little twit will one day exterminate six million Jews. What do you do?"''
40	-->-- '''Angela''', ''Series/AmericanGothic1995'', [[Recap/AmericanGothicS1E12DoctorDeathTakesAHoliday "Dr. Death Takes a Holiday"]]
41
42
43	->''"If someone who knew the future, pointed out a child to you and told you that that child would grow up totally evil, to be a ruthless dictator who would destroy millions of lives... could you then kill that child?"''
44	-->-- '''The Fourth Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Genesis of the Daleks"
45
46	->''"Let's see... You've got a time machine. I've got a gun. What the hell. [[TitleDrop Let's kill Hitler!]]"''
47	-->-- '''Mels''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Let's Kill Hitler"
48
49	->'''Hitler:''' Thank you, whoever you are. I think you have just saved my life.\
50	'''The Eleventh Doctor:''' [[NiceJobBreakingItHero Believe me, it was an accident]].\
51	'''Amy:''' What do you mean, we just saved his life? We cannot have just SAVED HITLER!
52	-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Let's Kill Hitler"
53
54	->''"Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled when I suddenly thought 'Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Führer.'"''
55	-->-- '''River Song''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Let's Kill Hitler"
56
57	->''"Listen, we went to dinner in Berlin in 1937, right? We didn't nip out after pudding and kill Hitler. I've never killed Hitler. And you wouldn't expect me to kill Hitler."''
58	-->-- '''The Doctor''', ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Kill The Moon"
59
60	->'''Pierre Chang:''' [[[TimeMachine the Orchid]]] will allow us to manipulate time.\
61	'''DHARMA Workman:''' And then what, you're going to go back in time and kill Hitler?\
62	'''Pierre Chang:''' Don't be ridiculous. There are rules.
63	-->-- ''Series/{{Lost}}''
64
65	->'''Jennifer Goines:''' You wanna save Hitler? That's the ''opposite'' of what you do with a time machine.
66	-->-- ''Series/TwelveMonkeys''
67
68	[[/folder]]
69
70	[[folder:Video Games]]
71	->'''Assistant''': Did you find him?\
72	'''UsefulNotes/AlbertEinstein''': Hitler is... [[RetGone out of the way]].\
73	'''Assistant''': Congratulations, professor! With Hitler removed-\
74	(Einstein holds up his hand to stop the assistant from speaking, then starts winding his stopped watch)
75	->'''Einstein''': Time will tell. Sooner or later... time will tell...
76	-->-- ''VideoGame/CommandAndConquerRedAlert'''s [[https://youtu.be/lJnMaTx4yjI?t=14 opening sequence]]
77
78	->''"Ever wondered what a parallel universe you might be like? Well, stop wondering, [[TomatoInTheMirror because you're just Hitler]]. Every parallel universe ever. You. Hitler. We can't figure it out. Anyway, if you meet him in the next test, don't kill him. I know, I know. But trust me, it'd be bad."''
79	-->-- '''Cave Johnson''', in a DummiedOut line from ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}''
80	[[/folder]]
81
82	[[folder:Web Comics]]
83	->''"Time travel and Hitlers are always a bad combination."''
84	-->-- ''[[http://www.webcomicsnation.com/andrew/bazillion/series.php?view=archive&chapter=19152&mpe=1&fromwhich=5 The Chronicles of William Bazillion]]''
85
86	->'''Jane Goodall''': We have an alternate history, and time travelers are all over the place.\
87	'''[[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Totally-Not-]][[Series/CrocodileHunter Steve Irwin]]''': And we've killed a dozen Hitlers already! We're ''winning''!
88	-->-- ''Webcomic/IrregularWebcomic''
89
90	->'''Commander Badass:''' Ah, I'm a commanding officer a' th' Navy TIALS. Y'know, Time Air Land Sea. Th' government commissioned a handful'a platoons of us in th' future. Get t' jump back and punch Hitler, win [[UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar Vietnam]], that kind of thing.\
91	'''Jonesy:''' But... we ''didn't'' win Vietnam...\
92	'''Commander:''' Yeeeaaaaah, The Man decided people couldn't handle a world where America took 'Nam an' they sent me back again to sabotage myself.\
93	'''Jonesy:''' ''What?!''\
94	'''Commander:''' Take a moment to imagine yer livin' in a world where th' ''Franchise/{{Rambo}}'' movies didn't get made.\
95	'''Jonesy:''' (''thinks about it, looks horrified'')
96	-->-- ''WebComic/ManlyGuysDoingManlyThings''
97
98	->3 Possibilities:\
99	A: Time travel is impossible\
100	B: Future people are dicks\
101	C: Future people are ''really'' bad at killing Hitler
102	-->-- ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal''
103
104	->"I am not wasting my time travel ticket trying to kill Hitler. Either I fail at it or I succeed and something even worse happens instead. I'll just enjoy my EVO moment and maybe be buying some Google stock."
105	-->-- Josué "Jo" Pereira, ''WebComic/NerfNow''
106	[[/folder]]
107
108	[[folder:Web Original]]
109	->''"Okay. If I kill Hitler, that will be good. Unless, by doing that, [[EverythingsDeaderWithZombies I somehow create zombie Hitler]]. What if it creates an alternate reality with twenty Hitlers? [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere I can't take this anymore! I'm going home to play]] Platform/{{Xbox}}."''
110	-->-- '''Fafa''', ''WebVideo/GloveAndBoots''
111
112	->''"Also, don't kill Hitler, even if it really seems like a good idea. Just trust me on this one."''
113	-->-- '''{{Creator/Tailsteak}}''', "[[http://tailsteak.com/archive.php?num=491 Basic Time Travel Etiquette]]"
114
115	->''"Apparently the Russians were not too happy I killed UsefulNotes/JosephStalin... The Americans, not wanting World War Three, blamed the Hungarians... who had no capability to dispute, the Soviet Union declared war... however China joined the Hungarians... America saw this as their chance to get on the Russians' good side and ALSO went after China... And it became a mess..."''
116	-->-- '''Imca''', ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''
117
118	->International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum\
119	Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War - Page 263\
120	\
121	11/21/2104\
122	At 02:21:30, [=SneakyPete=] wrote:\
123	Vienna, 1907: after numerous attempts, have infiltrated the Academy of Fine Arts and facilitated Adolf Hitler's admission to that institution. Goodbye, Hitler the dictator; hello, Hitler the modestly successful landscape artist! Brought back a few of his paintings as well, any buyers?\
124	\
125	At 02:29:17, [=SilverFox316=] wrote:\
126	All right; that's it. Having just returned from 1907 Vienna where I secured the expulsion of Hitler from the Academy by means of an elaborate prank involving [[NoodleImplements the Prefect, a goat, and a substantial quantity of olive oil]], I now turn my attention to our newer brethren, who, despite rules to the contrary, seem to have no intention of reading Bulletin 1147 (nor its Addendum, Alternate Means of Subverting the Hitlerian Destiny, and here I'm looking at you, [=SneakyPete=]). Permit me to sum it up and save you the trouble: no Hitler means no Third Reich, no World War II, no rocketry programs, no electronics, no computers, no time travel. Get the picture?
127	-->-- [[http://www.tor.com/stories/2011/08/wikihistory "Wikihistory"]] [[note]]Also, since he brought the paintings via TimeTravel, the paint is still somewhat fresh and no one will think they are originals.[[/note]]
128
129	->''"Side note: Why the hell do the time travelers always go after Hitler? He's got to be the luckiest man alive. Look into the possibility of his [[Website/SCPFoundation SCPness]]."''
130	-->-- '''Dr. Light''', ''[[http://www.scp-wiki.net/annon Annon]]''
131	[[/folder]]
132
133	[[folder:Real Life]]
134	->''"Time travelers! You can go back in time and fuck Hitler, but you can't kill him!"''
135	-->-- '''Unknown'''
136
137	->''"People always say that if they had a time machine, they would use it to kill Hitler. If I had a time machine, I don't think I would kill anyone. I don't think time travel is the one thing holding me back from taking a human life. There are Hitleresque dictators out there right now and I have never even considered personally killing them. Saying you'd kill Hitler if only you had a time machine is like saying you would kill Assad if only you had a plane ticket."''
138	-->-- '''Jeremy Kaplowitz'''
139	[[/folder]]
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Context Quotes / HitlersTimeTravelExemptionAct