Line #85 Quotes/AlmightyJanitor


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Comic Strips]]
4	->'''Garbage Man:''' Pardon me, sir, but I couldn't help noticing these equations in your garbage. I took the liberty of correcting a few quantum calculations.\
5	'''Dilbert:''' Gosh. Why are you a garbage man?\
6	'''Garbage Man:''' I think the question is "Why are ''you'' an engineer?"
7	-->—- ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}''
8	[[/folder]]
9
10	[[folder:Fan Works]]
11	->''"To make the cut, one must undergo strict training in [[RealMenCanCook Cooking]], [[NeatFreak cleaning]], [[CaringGardener groundskeeping]], [[TheDriver chauffeuring]], serving, [[GoodOldFisticuffs unarmed combat]], armed combat, firearms, [[PerfectPoison poisons]], [[ImprovisedWeapon improvised weapons]], [[TheNavigator Sailing]], [[BadassDriver Driving]], [[AcePilot Piloting]], [[StealthExpert Stealth]], [[MasterOfDisguise Infiltration]], [[ProfessionalKiller Assassination]], [[DisposingOfABody Body Disposal]], and [[TheMedic First Aid]]."''
12	-->-- '''[[TheAce Harry]]''' describing to Draco how one becomes a [[BattleButler Butler]] for the Hellsing Organization, ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheEndlessNight''
13	[[/folder]]
14
15	[[folder:Films - Live Action]]
16	->'''Col. Trautman''': You're the last of an elite group. [[SuicideByCop Don't end it like this]].\
17	'''John Rambo''': Back there I could fly a gunship. I could drive a tank. I was in charge of a million dollars of equipment. Back here I couldn't get a job '''''PARKING CARS.'''''
18	-->-- ''Film/FirstBlood''
19
20	->'''Dr. Ray Stanz:''' This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a 10-meter cattle prod.\
21	'''Dr. Peter Venkman:''' You're always so concerned about your reputation. [[UsefulNotes/AlbertEinstein Einstein]] did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk.\
22	'''Stanz:''' [[AnalogyBackfire Do you know how much a patent clerk earns]]?!\
23	'''Venkman:''' No!
24	-->-- ''Film/Ghostbusters1984''
25
26	->'''Jordan Tate:''' You're not a cook.\
27	'''Casey Ryback:''' Yeah, well... I ''also'' cook.
28	-->—- ''Film/UnderSiege''
29	[[/folder]]
30
31	[[folder:Literature]]
32	->'''Yerin:''' You say you're from the Blackflame Empire. Who are you?\
33	'''Eithan:''' Young lady, I am the greatest janitor in all existence. I am the son of a janitor, last in a long line of janitors that stretch all the way back to the Sage of Brooms...and beyond!\
34	'''Yerin:''' Janitors?\
35	'''Eithan:''' Lest you think I'm speaking figuratively, let me clarify. My clan organizes the street sweepers in Blackflame City, we supervise sewer maintenance, we dig ditches and light lamps and sweep chimneys. "Dirty hands are a mark of pride," those are the words by which we live.\
36	'''Lindon:''' ''[looking at Eithan's very rich robes]'' Please excuse me if I still seem... untrusting... but surely such a role does not fit your esteemed station. Do you perhaps mean that you keep the streets clean of ''crime'', or you're a clan of assassins ridding an empire of the unworthy...\
37	'''Eithan:''' I grew up in the sewers of Blackflame City, ankle-deep in what you might call "sludge."
38	-->-- ''Literature/CradleSeries'' book 2: ''Soulsmith''
39
40	-> A magician's house is expect to have certain peculiarities, but the most peculiar feature of [[GentlemanWizard Mr Norrell]]'s house was, without a doubt, [[HyperCompetentSidekick Childermass]]. In no other household in London was there any servant like him. One day he might be observed removing a dirty cup and wiping crumbs from a table like a common footman. The next day he would interrupt a room full of admirals, generals and noblemen to tell them in what particulars he considered them mistaken. Mr Norrell had once publicly reprimanded the Duke of Devonshire for speaking at the same time as Childermass.
41	-->-- ''Literature/JonathanStrangeAndMrNorrell''
42
43	->The dojo master stood up. "Hold!" he commanded. "Do you not want to know the name of the man you are about to destroy?"\
44	The fighter held his stance, glaring at Lu-Tze. "I don't need to know name of a sweeper," he said.\
45	Lu-Tze rolled the cigarette into a skinny cylinder and winked at the angry man, which only stoked the anger.\
46	"It is always wise to know the name of a sweeper, boy," said the dojo master. "And my question was not addressed to you."
47	-->—- ''Literature/ThiefOfTime''
48	[[/folder]]
49
50	[[folder:Live Action TV]]
51	->'''Dean Pelton:''' Real Dean coming throu-- ''(notices how spacious Laybourne's office is)'' Oh my goodness... Spacious? Vice Dean... Is this where Greendale's money is going?\
52	'''Vice Dean Laybourne:''' More accurately, Dean, it's where Greendale's money comes from. ''(closes the office door with the push of a button under his desk)'' Our air conditioning program has a job placement rate five times higher than the rest of your school combined. Our alumni donations comprise 80% of your entire school's budget. And you want to know ''why we think we deserve [[SuddenlyShouting AN ESPRESSO MACHINE]]?!''\
53	'''Dean Pelton:''' ''(panics)'' Well, I guess I didn't know! I--\
54	'''Vice Dean Laybourne:''' And you never ''had to'', Dean! You could have lived the rest of your life [[IgnoranceIsBliss in blissful ignorance]] and died a happy pansexual imp! [[DrunkWithPower But]] ''[[DrunkWithPower you]]'' [[DrunkWithPower wanted to feel power this year]]... [[BadassBoast Well, now you are going to feel]] ''[[BadassBoast my]]'' [[BadassBoast power]], [[ColdHam as it surges downward from me straight through you, from nostril to rectum, now until the end of time]]. ''And that's''... '''''[[IronicEcho whassup]]'''''.
55	-->-- ''Series/{{Community}}'', "Biology 101"
56
57	->'''Donna''': Sick days. There aren't any. Hundreds of people working here and no one's sick. Not one hangover, man flu, sneaky little shopping trip, nothing. Not ever! They don't get ill.\
58	'''Colonel Mace''': ...That can't be right.\
59	'''Donna''': You've been checking out the building - should've been checking out the workforce.\
60	'''Martha''': I can see why he likes you. You are good.\
61	'''Donna''': Super temp!
62	-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "The Sontaran Stratagem"
63
64	->'''Krax:''' But father, I am ready! I ''am'' ready! You saw for yourself. [[KlingonPromotion I was about to grab power!]]
65	->'''Zek:''' You don't ''grab'' power. You accumulate it, quietly, without anyone noticing.
66	->'''Krax:''' But, but, I don't understand...
67	->'''Zek:''' The ''bar'', you fool; that was the key! All those visitors stopping by on their way to and from the wormhole. You could have sat there quietly at your leisure and gathered up ''all'' the information you needed about the Gamma Quadrant.
68	->'''Krax:''' But what about him?
69	->'''Zek:''' You could have let him hold the sceptre, while you controlled everything from the shadows. And then, when everything was running smoothly, only ''then'' would you take over.
70	-->-- ''Series/StarTrekDeepSpaceNine'', "The Nagus"
71
72	->'''Picard''': At the Academy, there is someone who meant a great deal to me. He has been there ''forever''. You must get to know him; his name is Boothby. Tell him we were friends. When I was there, he helped me. Listen to him.
73	->'''Wesley''': What does he teach?
74	->'''Picard''': He's the groundskeeper.
75	-->-- ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "Final Mission"
76
77	->'''[=McNulty=]:''' [Seeing a beat cop writing up a ticket on a parked car] What's the violation?\
78	'''Officer Baker:''' Parking in a bus stop, expired registration.\
79	'''[=McNulty=]:''' [[SarcasmMode First class police work there, Baker]].\
80	'''Officer Baker:''' Yeah, well, this is the word we got from up on high. [[DaChief Straight from the 8th floor downtown]]. I know you think it's bullshit, but [[JustFollowingOrders I spend my shift where they tell me]].\
81	'''[=McNulty=]:''' Baker, let me tell you a little secret. A [[MeddlesomePatrolman patrolling officer on his beat]] is the one true dictatorship in America. We can do anything, we can lock a guy up on a petty charge, lock him up for real, or say "Fuck it, let's pull under the expressway and drink ourselves to death", and our side partners will cover it. So no one... and I mean ''no one'' tells us how to waste our shift.
82	-->-- ''Series/TheWire'' explains how the lowest level police can do whatever they want regardless of what DaChief says.
83
84	->'''Coal Minister:''' I need all one hundred men to gather their equipments and get on the buses.\
85	'''Glukhov:''' Do you? To where?\
86	'''Coal Minister:''' That's classified.\
87	'''Glukhov:''' ''[looks at the 2 armed soldiers accompanying the minister]'' ...Go ahead. Start shooting. You don't have enough bullets for all of us. Kill as many as you can, whoever's left over will beat the piss out of each of you.\
88	'''Soldier:''' You can't talk to us like...\
89	'''Glukhov:''' '''''Shut the fuck up!''''' This is Tula. This is ''our'' mine. We don't leave unless you tell me why.\
90	'''Coal Minister:''' You're going to Chernobyl.
91	-->''Series/{{Chernobyl}}''
92	[[/folder]]
93
94	[[folder:Tabletop Games]]
95	->The men and women who [[TheManBehindTheMan actually run]] [[EvilInc Endron]] are well-hidden. They have titles like [[UnusuallyUninterestingName "Senior Advisor on Energy Exploration," and "Assistant Financial Officer."]] They have offices in Endron HQ, but not corner offices. They make a fair bit of money, but not an ostentatious amount - at least, not in any way that can be traced or taxed. They are scattered throughout the corporate structure with seemingly no rhyme and no reason, though there is not a department or operation to which they don't have some connection. Most have plaques on their office walls thanking them for 10 or 15 or 25 years of service to Endron, and their workspaces are generally [[BeneathNotice so banal as to arouse no comment]], [[BeneathSuspicion no suspicion and no interest]].
96	->That's exactly how They want it: [[HiddenInPlainSight hidden in plain sight]], they are effectively invisible. After all, [[ApparentlyPowerlessPuppetmaster they seem to have no power, no ambition and no say]]. It is only the very keenest of observers who will note that the head of R&D seems to stop by that one accountant's one office more than would seem necessary, or that certain upper-mid-level executives always seem to have lunch just before a major policy shift is made. If an observer of this sort keeps his head down and his eyes open, he may be approached to become one of Them. [[HeKnowsTooMuch If he talks, or tries to raise suspicions, or even lets on that he knows]], [[KilledToUpholdTheMasquerade he vanishes]].
97	->That's the way They work.
98	-->-- ''TabletopGame/WerewolfTheApocalypse - Subsidiaries: A Guide To Pentex''
99	[[/folder]]
100
101	[[folder:Video Games]]
102	-> You are ushered into a closed meeting with the Fraught General Manager and his Prudent Secretary. In it, you offer several pieces of strategic advice that would increase Her Majesty's prospects in the region. When you have done so, the Manager casts a glance at his Secretary, who nods. "Of course, of course," the Manager says, hurriedly. "We'll ensure this reaches the proper ears back home."
103	-->-- ''VideoGame/SunlessSkies''
104
105	-> ''Fourth squad leader of the Vespers, the Arquebus Group's augmented human squad.\
106	Discovered through the recruitment program operated by Schneider, an Arquebus affiliate, Rusty so quickly distinguished himself that he was selected to join the upper echelons of Vespers in less than half a year.\
107	Rusty received augmentation surgery prior to joining the Vespers, and though the precise details are unclear, he has declared himself to be of the eighth generation.''
108	-->-- '''V.IV Rusty's''' Arena Profile, ''VideoGame/ArmoredCoreVIFiresOfRubicon''
109	[[/folder]]
110
111	[[folder:Web Original]]
112	->''The essential premise of the film ''{{Film/Ghostbusters\|1984}}'', when you get down to it, is that three upper middle class academics have to [[TallPoppySyndrome slum it in a working class job]] like exterminators. Yes, it layers all sorts of wacky paranormal goofiness onto that, but at the end of the day, that's what it's about -- the absurdity of working class paranormal experts.''
113	-->-- '''[[http://projectnes.blogspot.com/2011/04/number-you-are-calling-has-been.html Dr. El Sandifer]]'''
114
115	->''I bet a higher percentage of janitors survive this mess more than any other type of employee. If they were holding a mop, they already had a weapon in their hands; they know the entire building; and they have the keys to everything.''
116	-->—- '''Gordon Freeman''', ''WebVideo/FreemansMind''
117
118	->''"The real eldritch horror is the butler we found along the way."''
119	-->-- '''[[https://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/691063258316226560/the-real-eldritch-horror-is-the-butler-we-found Out of Context D&D Quotes]]''' on Website/{{Tumblr}}.
120	[[/folder]]
121
122	[[folder:Real Life]]
123	->''"In [[UsefulNotes/BritsWithBattleships my army]]. You'd work for '''me'''."''
124	-->—- '''British NCO to visiting Soviet Colonel, [[UsefulNotes/ColdWar Berlin 1985]]'''
125
126	->''"I've a friend who's a janitor. He knows a lot of dirt."''
127	-->-- Overheard in an IRC channel
128	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / AlmightyJanitor