Line #69 Quotes/IHaveThisFriend


1	->"Daddy, I have this...friend, and, he's real nice, but he spends half his time running around the playground, kicking kids in the shins and mashing dirt in their faces." \
2	'''Best Possible Fathering:''' "Focus on your studies and don't make pals with kids like that." \
3	'''Worst Possible Fathering:''' "I'm not your friend, son."
4	--> --''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal''
5
6	->''Well, um, I have this friend, it's not me!''
7	-->--'''Doug Funnie''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Doug}}''
8
9	->'''Reverend Lovejoy:''' I have a friend, I mean, a friend of a friend...\
10	'''Homer:''' ''(loudly)'' Sex problem, eh?
11	-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS18E18TheBoysOfBummer The Boys of Bummer]]"
12
13	->'''Homer:''' Moe, I need your advice...\
14	'''Moe:''' Yeah?\
15	'''Homer:''' See, I've got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo...\
16	'''Moe:''' That's the worst name I ever heard.\
17	(''a man, apparently the real Joey Jojo, runs out of the bar, crying'')\
18	'''Barney:''' Hey! Joey Jo-Jo!
19	-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS5E9TheLastTemptationOfHomer The Last Temptation of Homer]]"
20
21	->''I've gotta tell (an annoying old guy at the State Department) [[ARareSentence I lost a submarine]]. Can I make something up, like "say a friend of mine hypothetically..."''
22	--> -- '''President Bartlett''', ''Series/TheWestWing'', "Gone Quiet"
23
24	->'''Talisman''': Here at Talisman Saloon, we only discuss the affairs of others. Is it okay, Lemonade Candy?
25	->'''Lemonade Candy''': Okay. A friend of mine is in quite a bind right now. So I'd like to talk about her, Talisman.
26	->'''Talisman''': With pleasure!
27	-->-- ''Anime/PsychoPass'', ''Nobody Knows Your Mask''
28
29	->'''Robin''': I would fain consult you--\
30	'''Rose''': Truly?\
31	'''Robin''': It is about a friend.\
32	'''Rose''': In truth I have a friend myself.\
33	'''Robin''': Indeed? I mean, of course--\
34	'''Rose''': And I would fain consult you--\
35	'''Robin''' ''(Anxiously)'': About him?\
36	'''Rose''' ''(Prudishly)'': About ''her''.\
37	'''Robin''' ''(Relieved)'': Let us consult one another.
38	-->-- ''Theatre/{{Ruddigore}}''
39
40	->'''Kaguya''': I need... to ask you for advice, Kashiwagi.\
41	'''Kashiwagi''': I had a feeling that was the case. \
42	'''Kaguya''': It's about '''a friend'''.\
43	'''Kashiwagi''': ''(Thinking)'' It's about her.\
44	'''Kaguya''': A boy she's interested in recently had a drastic change in appearance.\
45	'''Kashiwagi''': ''(Thinking)'' [[EveryoneCanSeeIt It's about Shirogane]].
46	-->-- ''Manga/KaguyaSamaLoveIsWar''
47
48	->'''Simba:''' What are you doing?
49	->'''Timon:''' ''[screams]'' Good question. ''[stammering]'' Let me ask you one.
50	->'''Pumbaa:''' Hippothetically.
51	->'''Timon:''' Very ''hypo''thetical. There's this guy...
52	->'''Pumbaa:''' But he's not a lion!
53	->'''Timon:''' No, no, he's not a lion. Yeesh, ''definitely'' not a lion. And... his daughter... say... vanished?
54	->'''Simba:''' ''Kiara's gone?!''
55	-->--''WesternAnimation/TheLionKingIISimbasPride''
56
57	->'''[=SpongeBob=]''': This is getting a little out of hand. All I did was throw a peanut. I didn't mean to make the oyster cry. I just wanted to see it perform spectacular stunts! Aw, everyone's gonna ''hate'' me! I-I need some advice! Now let's see now, who could never hate me no matter what I do? [''Cut to [=SpongeBob=] knocking on Squidward's door''] Squidward? Squidward! Oh, Squidward!\
58	'''Squidward''': [=SpongeBob=]! Do you have to knock so loudly?!\
59	'''[=SpongeBob=]''': Oh, sorry, neighbor.\
60	'''Squidward''': Oh, that overgrown clam is giving me a headache! I can't even take my afternoon beauty nap!\
61	'''[=SpongeBob=]''': Funny thing you should mention that old oyster, because I... uh... was kinda wondering, um... Let's say I know this guy who may have something to do with the oyster.\
62	'''Squidward''': (''eagerly'') You know the guy who did it?!\
63	'''[=SpongeBob=]''': [''[[BigGulp Gulps!]]'']\
64	'''Squidward''': Oh, this is great! You and I can go turn him in! And then I'll get so much sleep, I'll be ''gorgeous!''\
65	'''[=SpongeBob=]''': Um, actually, I-I'm just talking hypothetically.\
66	'''Squidward''': You mean you don't know who did it?\
67	'''[=SpongeBob=]''': Well, um... I... uh... no.\
68	(''Squidward slams the door in [=SpongeBob=]'s face'')
69	-->--''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E12PressureTheSmokingPeanut The Smoking Peanut]]"
70
71	->''"Well, okay, I'll tell you. [[SubvertedTrope Look, the friend is me]]"''
72	-->--'''Noemí Argüelles''', ''Series/PaquitaSalas''
73
74	->'''Lincoln Loud''': ''(who's trying to play matchmaker with his coach and teacher)'' "So my friend really likes this girl..."
75	->'''Lori Loud''': "OMG! You're talking about yourself, aren't you? Who's the girl?"
76	->'''Lincoln Loud''': "No, no, it's not me. So, he likes her, but I'm not sure if she's into him."
77	->'''Lori Loud''': "Oh, have Clyde ask her for you."
78	->'''Lincoln Loud''': "It's not me! Can you focus, please? Now, how do I get her to be interested in him, too?"
79	->'''Lori Loud''': "I'm sure she'll be interested in you, Lincoln, you're so great!"
80	->'''Lincoln Loud''': "Lori, I swear I will walk out of this room and go ask Lola!"
81	->'''Lori Loud''': "Fine, I'll help you with your (air quotes) 'friend'."
82
83	->'''Lincoln Loud''': "Okay, so I followed your advice, and now the girl seems interested in my friend. What's the next step?"
84	->'''Lori Loud''': "Uh, duh, you literally have the green light, Romeo."
85	->'''Lincoln Loud''': "Lori, it's not me!"
86	->'''Lori Loud''': "Fine, tell your (air quotes) 'friend' ''he'' literally has the green light."
87
88	->'''Lincoln Loud''': ''(who's now trying to play matchmaker with his teacher and ''the janitor'')'' "Hey, Lori! Listen, I've got another friend who needs my dating help. ''(Lori squeals)'' No, it's not me!"
89	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheLoudHouse'', "Teachers' Union"
90
91	->''"So, does the company that makes your bra make a girdle? I'm asking because a friend of mine..."''
92	-->-- '''Zapp Brannigan''' after his girdle breaks in a planet's high gravity but Leela's bra doesn't, ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', "Brannigan Begin Again"
93
94	->'''Julius:''' Can I ask you a hypothetical question?\
95	'''Court Clerk:''' This oughta be good.\
96	'''Julius:''' Suppose there was somebody who got married, then thought he got divorced, then got married again and had some kids.\
97	'''Clerk:''' Hypothetically?\
98	'''Julius:''' Yeah.\
99	'''Clerk:''' Well he could ''hypothetically'' be arrested and go to jail as a bigamist.\
100	'''Julius:''' I see.\
101	'''Clerk:''' But between you, me and your hypothetical friend, as long as you get your final decree, file these papers, and everyone around here stays lazy, you'll be fine.
102	-->--''Series/EverybodyHatesChris''
103
104	->'''Twilight Sparkle''': "I have this friend..."
105	->'''Celestia''': "Is this friend sitting right next to me?"
106	->'''Twilight Sparkle''': "No, but she asked me to keep her name a secret."
107	->'''Celestia''': "I see. And what did this friend want to ask me?"
108	->'''Twilight Sparkle''': "Well, you see, my friend has... another friend. And she's liked this friend for a long time."
109	->'''Celestia''': "Oh? Does this friend of yours have a crush?"
110	->'''Twilight Sparkle''': "Yes, she's known this friend for a while and isn't sure how to, you know, approach them."
111	->'''Celestia''': "I see. And does this friend of a friend have a name?"
112	->'''Twilight Sparkle''': "I... should probably keep that a secret too."
113	->'''Celestia''': "I see. And why does this friend need my advice?"
114	->'''Twilight''': "Well, you see, it's kind of... complicated."
115	->'''Celestia''': "In my experience, matters of the heart are often made more complex than they need to be."
116	->'''Twilight''': "Hehe, yeah. I told her the same thing. But... well, I think she might kind of have a point this time."
117	->'''Celestia''': "Let me guess: this friend of yours likes another mare."
118	->'''Twilight''': "Eheheh, yeah. Not me, of course! It's some other mare."
119	->'''Celestia''': "Well, I should hope so. It would be rather awkward asking the subject of your affection for advice from me."
120	-->-- ''Fanfic/IHaveThisFriend'', a fanfiction of ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''. [[note]]Actually, Twilight is telling the truth.[[/note]]
121
122	-> ''"How's Peach? Is she okay? Comfortable? Does she have a good book to read? Asking for a friend."''
123	-->-- '''Bowser''', ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheOrigamiKing''
124
125	->'''Todd:''' So I have this friend, and his name is… Darnarius [=McQuimberton=].
126	->'''Diane:''' Oh, yeah, I think I read about him in the Real, Not Made-Up Person Magazine.
127	-->--''WesternAnimation/BoJackHorseman''
128
129	->'''Ben Sobel''': I think... your friend is you.
130	->'''Paul Vitti''': You... you... you got a gift, my friend.
131	-->--''Film/AnalyzeThis''
132
133
134	->'''Hamilton:''' ''I have this friend\
135	He's quite a guy\
136	He's in a bit of a bind and he needs advice''\
137	'''Washington:''' ''How can I help you?''\
138	'''Hamilton:''' ''Not me, this friend; it's a friend''
139	-->--"I Have This Friend", a CutSong from ''Theatre/{{Hamilton}}''
140
141	->''"Are you ever overcome with feelings of complete and utter helplessness? I'm asking for a friend, of course."''
142	-->-- '''Monica''', ''VideoGame/FireEmblemWarriorsThreeHopes''
143
144	->'''Commander Cody:''' Rumors are, more and more Clones have been questioning the order.[[note]]Order 66[[/note]]
145	->'''Crosshair:''' Then they're traitors then, like the Jedi.
146	->'''Commander Cody:''' Well, [[JustFollowingOrders good soldiers follow orders]].
147	-->--''WesternAnimation/StarWarsTheBadBatch'', "[[Recap/StarWarsTheBadBatchS2E3TheSolitaryClone The Solitary Clone]]"
148
149	->'''Jason''': Now, hypothetically, [[ComicBook/ADeathInTheFamily if a very bad man killed your son]], wouldn't ''you'' —
150	-->--''Webcomic/BatmanWayneFamilyAdventures'', "[[Recap/BatmanWayneFamilyAdventuresEpisode14Unaccompanied Unaccompanied]]"

Context Quotes / IHaveThisFriend