Line #35 Quotes/ShopliftAndDie


1	->''"My Lords, if we suffer this bill to pass we shall not know where to stand - we shall not know whether we are upon our heads or our feet! [...] Repeal this law and see the contrast – no man can trust himself for an hour out of doors without the most alarming apprehensions that on his return, every vestige of his property will be swept off by the hardened robber"''
2	-->-- '''Lord Ellenborough''' [[ValuesDissonance explaining]] [[http://books.google.fr/books?id=UmY-4xBtZzwC&pg=PT26&dq=%22My+Lords,+if+we+suffer+this+bill+to+pass+we+shall+not+know+where+to+stand%22+theft&hl=fr&sa=X&ei=8SRgUv-9D4fE0QWxy4H4CQ&ved=0CDIQ6AEwAA here]] to the House of Lords why shoplifting should remain a [[SeriousBusiness capital offense]].
3
4	->''Same with those mindless teenyboppers who go to the Hickory Farms store, and then take double samples of fruitcake and cheeselog, you warn them that they will be charged with a [[ArtisticLicenseLaw felony(grand theft)]], and that if they attempt to fight and run, they will be, unfortunately, first tazered, and if they continue to resist violently with intent to maim, then wounded. Fortunately, wounding fire to suppress teenage kleptomaniacs is relatively easy, they all run in straight lines, and [[KneeCapping a hit in the knee]] will be relatively simple from the second floor.''
5	-->-- All in a days work for a mall security guard [[http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/ according to the infamous Mall Ninja]]
6
7	->'''Ryan:''' I gotta ask Geoff, are they...familiar with how I like to shop?
8	->'''Geoff:''' No, but I have two diamond swords.
9	->'''Ryan:''' Is that a threat?
10	->'''Geoff:''' Yes.
11	-->-- '''Ryan''' and '''Geoff''' in Episode 130: Top Chef Part 1 of ''[[LetsPlay/AchievementHunterMinecraftSeries Let's Play Minecraft]]''
12
13	->'''Caught you red-handed!'''
14	->''The clerk does not take kindly to your shoplifting. His magnum makes a permanent impression on you. (And, IN you!)''
15	-->-- '''Narrator''', ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry1InTheLandOfTheLoungeLizards''
16
17	->''"Waddaya tryin' to do, peahead! You're not gonna stiff me, and get away with it! Step outside, Deadbeat!!"''
18	-->-- '''Taxi Driver''' if Larry attempts to leave the cab without paying him, ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry1InTheLandOfTheLoungeLizards''
19
20	->''"Waddaya mean, 'no money!!'" snarls the driver. "Step outsid'a ma office, chump!"''
21	-->-- ''VideoGame/LeisureSuitLarry1InTheLandOfTheLoungeLizards'' if Larry has an insufficient amount of money to pay the cab fare.
22
23	->''"You dare to steal in my presence? [[LargeHam That will cost you your]] '''[[LargeHam LIFE]]'''!"''
24	-->-- '''[[WelcomeToCorneria Every guard in the holy land]]''', ''[[VideoGame/AssassinsCreedI Assassin's Creed]]''
25
26	->''"My precious merchandise! Catch that thief!"''
27	-->-- '''[[VideoGame/PokemonMysteryDungeonExplorers Kecleon]]''' after you steal an item. The quote he says is different depending on the game. Also, once you steal from him '''[[ZergRush prepare to have several high-leveled Kecleon attack you]]'''
28
29	->''"According to the latest report.. You attempted unsuccessfully to shoplift from Charon himself? And were consequently slain? An utterly ignoble end, even for you."''
30	-->-- '''Lord Hades''' to '''[[KleptomaniacHero Zagreus]]''', ''VideoGame/{{Hades}}''
31
32	->''"Pete hates thieves. Pete shoots people he hates."''
33	-->-- ''VideoGame/DejaVu1985'' (Macintosh version), if you try to steal from the gun store
34
35	->''"Shopkeepers in gaming are pretty much past heroes that just have a lot of shit to sell."''
36	-->--Matthew Toad commenting on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDK12vYTqVg Triggered: Shopkeeper's Theme]] from ''VideoGame/OneStepFromEden''.

Context Quotes / ShopliftAndDie