Line #18 Literature/OurDumbCentury


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/images_304.jpg]]
2	[[caption-width-right:350:[[{{Tagline}} 100 Years of Headlines from America's finest news source.]]]]
3
4	''Our Dumb Century'' is a mock 20th-century retrospective by the writers of ''Website/TheOnion''. It consists of fake front pages whose look and feel parodies that of each era of the century, with headlines and articles making fun of news stories throughout the century.
5
6	-----
7	!!This book provides examples of:
8
9	* AbsurdlyLongLimousine: "GM Unveils New '55 Cadillac Dreadnought", which rolls on eight wheels, seats twenty-four people, has three-foot-tall tail fins, and comes equipped with a dashboard-mounted martini mixer, basement, and optional three-season patio.
10	* AlternateHistory: Some articles have traits of this, such as Archduke Franz Ferdinand showing up alive after UsefulNotes/WorldWarI, UsefulNotes/RichardNixon refusing to resign and instead being arrested, sent to prison, breaking out, and [[GoingPostal going on a killing spree]] which leads to his being gunned down after an extensive manhunt, and the US not just losing UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar, but actually surrendering to them.
11	* AmericanEagle: Despite the name of the paper, it only adopted an onion as its logo in 1968. Before that, most versions were accompanied by an eagle.
12	* AngryBlackManStereotype: "UsefulNotes/MalcolmX: 'I Also Have a Dream'
13	--> 'I Have a Dream That [[WhosLaughingNow One Day Little Black Children Will Beat the Living Crap out of Little White Children]]'
14	* AntiquatedLinguistics: Utilized quite profusely in the earlier parts of the book.
15	* ArtEvolution: Aside from the design of the paper itself, the logo of ''The Onion'' at the top of the page is repeatedly redesigned as the decades pass until it becomes the current one in the '90s.
16	* AsskickingLeadsToLeadership: "Mussolini Becomes Italian Dictator After Closely Contested Fist-Fight"
17	* BananaRepublic: "CIA Subdues Fruit-Hatted Peoples of Lesser Americas"
18	* BankToaster: During TheGreatDepression, UsefulNotes/HerbertHoover introduces a Free Toaster Premium Initiative (bread not included) to boost confidence in the nation's banks.
19	* BigBallOfViolence: A map of Europe at the start of the Great War looks like one with all the arrows showing countries declaring war on each-other.
20	* BlackComedyRape: Along with all the cartoons featuring Art/LadyLiberty, there's also "US Troops Pull Out Of Vietnamese Peasant Girl".
21	* BlasphemousBoast: "Music/JohnLennon: 'I'm Higher Than Jesus Right Now'"
22	* ButtMonkey: UsefulNotes/RichardNixon is the most prominent one ("Should Nixon Be Brought Back to Kick Around Some More?", "Nixon Vetoes Federal Love and Happiness Act"), but UsefulNotes/WarrenGHarding doesn't even get articles, [[DemotedToExtra just two headlines]]: "Harding Elected, Forgotten About" and "President Harding Dies Several Months Ago"
23	* CandidCameraPrank: "Allen Funt Lets President In on Hilarious 'Cuban Missile Crisis' Prank"
24	* ChainedToARailway: An advertisement for a railroad claims that this happens less frequently on their railroad than on competing lines.
25	* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: The French surrender ''ten minutes'' after UsefulNotes/NaziGermany invades. They do it again when Pearl Harbor is bombed, and AGAIN when the Americans drop [[NukeEm a different kind of bomb]] on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
26	* ClusterFBomb:
27	** "Holy Shit, Man Walks on Fucking Moon. Neil Armstrong's Historic First Words on Moon: 'Holy Living Fuck'"
28	** "Last Night's [[UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt Fireside Chat]] Just a Stream of Cuss Words"
29	** Richard Nixon gives one during a shootout with police.
30	* CompanionCube: "President Ford's Pet Rock Dies", resulting in messages of condolence from other world leaders and "National Day of Bumming Declared"
31	* ConspiracyKitchenSink: "Kennedy Slain by CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters, Freemasons" posits that every conspiracy theory about who assassinated UsefulNotes/JohnFKennedy was true simultaneously. A subhead reports, "President shot 129 times from 43 different angles".
32	* CreepyCrossdresser:
33	--> "War Rationing Board Restricts Nylon Use to Armed Forces, J. Edgar Hoover Only"\
34	''Frilly Panties and Garters Especially Needed Now, FBI Director Says''
35	* DeliberateValuesDissonance: Aside from the blatant racism and sexism featured in the earlier pages, some headlines that mock specific ideas of the time are "Man Ventures Outside Hatless", "Surgeon General Warns Against Smoking Any Brand of Cigarette Other than Chesterfields" and "Secret Pac-Man Patterns Fall Into Russian Hands".
36	* DemonicDummy: How Series/HowdyDoody is written about.
37	** Another article describes how [[Creator/EdgarBergen Charlie McCarthy]] went off script during a radio show, [[SuicideDare telling the audience they should kill themselves]].
38	* DidntThinkThisThrough: "Japan Forms Alliance With White Supremacists in Well-Thought-Out Scheme"
39	* DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength: [[Literature/OfMiceAndMen "Cute Little Mouse Crushed To Death By Petting"]]
40	* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything:
41	** "Aristotle Onassis Killed by Lone Gunman in Athens Motorcade"
42	** The entire Watergate scandal, which instead plays out like the Gary Tison prison break, up to and including Nixon being gunned down by police outside of a Motel (Spiro Agnew still at large).
43	* DracoInLeatherPants: Invoked with "Armed Federal Agents Shoot, Kill Our Beloved Dillinger", which mentions how he was never rude to any of the people he robbed or murdered.
44	* EarWorm: "Irving Berlin Publishes 1000th Annoying, Clamorous Ditty"
45	* ElvisLives: "Elvis Dead; Is Elvis Alive?"
46	* EveryCarIsAPinto: Which gets Ralph Nader killed when test-driving one of the {{Trope Namer}}s. He is memorialized with a sculpture of a Pinto with an eternal flame rising from its exploding engine.
47	* {{Expy}}: [[ComicStrip/LittleOrphanAnnie Little Orphan Maggie]], an orphan girl acquired by T. Herman Zweibel.
48	* FailedFutureForecast: The iconic photo is on the back cover, altered with [[UsefulNotes/HarryTruman Truman]] holding a copy of ''The Onion'' with the headline "Other Guy Defeats What's-His-Face". A page of the book itself includes the correction that in fact, What's-His-Face defeated the Other Guy.
49	* FelonyMisdemeanor: Tax evasion is the only heinous crime UsefulNotes/AlCapone is even accused of.
50	* ForTheEvulz: "Nagasaki Bombed 'Just For The Hell Of It'"
51	* FullBoarAction: "[[UsefulNotes/WilliamMcKinley McKinley]] Killed By Wild Boar"
52	* GoofyPrintUnderwear: During World War II, a cartoon shows the Statue of Liberty menaced by the Axis leaders. While Tojo is about to bash her head in with her tablet and Hitler is brandishing her torch menacingly, Mussolini is standing there with his hands on his hips and pants around his ankles, revealing his heart-spotted undershorts.
53	* GoYeHeroesGoAndDie: "[[UsefulNotes/FranklinDRoosevelt New President]] Assures Nation, 'The Only Thing We Have to Fear is a Crippling, Decade-Long Depression'".
54	--> ''"'All is Lost', says 32nd President in Address to Nation; America Doomed''
55	* HaveAGayOldTime: "Earth-Quake Marks Least Gay Day in San Francisco History".
56	--> "Garment District Still Flaming"
57	* HeavenAbove: A spoof headline from the week after the airplane was invented is about the government planning airplane expeditions to Heaven. The story reveals that within ten years, it will be possible for the average American to vacation there.
58	* HeroicBystander:[[ItMakesSenseInContext "Japanese Zeroes Held Off by Boy with Dick Tracy Decoder Ring"]]
59	* HypocriticalHumor: "Dastardly Japs Attack Colonially-Occupied US Non-State"
60	* ImAHumanitarian: "UsefulNotes/IdiAmin Praises Former Ugandan Defense Minister As 'Delicious'"
61	* TheInternetIsForPorn: "Computer-Industry Leaders Call For Creation Of Masturbation Superhighway"
62	* KarmaHoudini: "Horrible Asshole Richer Than Ever"
63	* KillSat: "US Launches [[KillThePoor Orbiting Homeless Incinerator]]"
64	* KingOfTheHomeless: There's a small article in 1932 about UsefulNotes/HerbertHoover signing an accord with King Gus II, sovereign of all hobos. Also in attendance were the Duke and Duchess of Junkland, Emperor Lazlo of Trashville, and the ambassador to the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
65	* KissingInATree: "Ken Star Taunts [[UsefulNotes/BillClinton Clinton]] With 'Sitting In A Tree' Song."
66	* TheKlutz: "UsefulNotes/GeraldFord Sworn In; Promises Awkwark, Bumbling Transition", in reference to that one time he fell down the stairs.
67	* MegaCorp: The final page, for the year 2000, includes the article "All Corporations Merge Into Omnicorp" which also assumes control of all world governments, just for convenience.
68	* MillenniumBug: "Planet Temporarily Closed Due To Computer Crash"
69	* NukeEm:
70	** "Nagasaki Bombed 'Just for the Hell of It'"
71	** "US Army Finds Last Place on Earth Untouched by War, Blows It to Hell"
72	** "H-Bomb Test a Success! Eniwetok Atoll Islanders Return to Their Home, a Mile-Wide Crater on the Ocean Floor"
73	** "Reagan Nukes Libya"
74	* NostalgiaFilter:
75	** The section dedicated to the years 1929 to 1946 is titled "[[AddedAlliterativeAppeal Dust, Despair and Death]]: Those Were the Days". The title of the next one (1946-1963) is "The Swell Years", which are immediately followed by the years 1963 to 1981: "Peace, Love and Other Bullshit".
76	* OfCorpseHesAlive: "Roosevelt's Remains To Run For Fifth Term".
77	* PerilousOldFool: Just as in real life, UsefulNotes/TheodoreRoosevelt tried to enlist in the Army to fight [=WWI=]. In the article, he's accepted, but assigned to mess hall duty to keep him out of danger.
78	* PoliticalOvercorrectness: One of the news stories is about an Iowa family being attacked for having only white members.
79	* PoorCommunicationKills: All of UsefulNotes/WorldWarI was caused by Archduke Ferdinand picking a horrible time to do some KingIncognito and not tell anybody.
80	* RadiationInducedSuperpowers: [[DeconstructedTrope Deconstructed]] in [[ComicBook/SpiderMan "Boy Bitten by Radioactive Spider]] [[TakeThat Dies of Leukemia."]]
81	* RasputinianDeath: "Russians Continuing To Kill Rasputin" details how he was not only repeatedly stabbed, shot, and poisoned, but also [[ChainedToARailway run over by a train]], [[XRaySparks electrocuted]], [[HollywoodAcid dissolved in acid]], [[ManOnFire set on fire]], [[ImpaledWithExtremePrejudice impaled with a cavalry spear]], BuriedAlive, [[OffWithHisHead beheaded]] ''twice'' and [[LudicrousGibs chopped into tiny pieces]], but ''still'' refused to die.
82	* RealDreamsAreWeirder: "UsefulNotes/MartinLutherKingJr: 'I Had a Really Weird Dream Last Night'", in which he meets Creator/JackieGleason and is threatened by [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever a giant roll of paper towels]], among other nonsense.
83	* RedScare:
84	** "Senator [=McCarthy=]: 'I Hold in My Hand a List of 205 Liquor Stores'"
85	** "New Medical Report Finds Heavy Petting Linked to Communism"
86	** "[[Creator/FrankSinatra Sinatra]] Warns Ruskies to Knock It Off"
87	** "Secret [[VideoGame/PacMan Pac-Man]] Patterns Fall Into Russian Hands"
88	* {{Retraux}}: Despite ''The Onion'' having been founded in 1988, all the pre-'80s newspapers shown in the book have period-accurate typefaces and layouts that reflect the style of the time they're supposedly from.
89	* RunningGag:
90	** A number of major trials are referred to as the "Trial of the Century."
91	** There's also the running gag of cartoons featuring Lady Liberty [[BlackComedyRape being sexually assaulted]] by [[UsefulNotes/SpanishAmericanWar "The Wretched Spaniard"]], [[UsefulNotes/PrussiansInPickelhauben "The Hun"]], [[UsefulNotes/TheRoaringTwenties a Lounge Lizard]], [[TheGreatDepression a "Capitalist Plutocrat Bastard"]] [[CorruptCorporateExecutive ("I've raped everything else in sight, why not you too, Sister?")]], UsefulNotes/BenitoMussolini, UsefulNotes/NikitaKhrushchev, [[UsefulNotes/TheSixties a dirty hippie]], and [[UsefulNotes/TheWarOnTerror an Arab terrorist]].
92	** During World War II, the French kept surrendering.
93	* SelfAbuse: There is an advertisement for an "Anti-Masturbation Harness and Genital Pouch" that not only locks away the manly parts, but also includes [[GroinAttack a blade]] to discourage erections.
94	* ShoePhone: "Alger Hiss Evades Capture with Secret Evapo-Spy Wristwatch; [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon Rep. Nixon's]] Emergency Jet-Pack Ambush Fails"
95	* ShortTitleLongElaborateSubtitle:
96	** T. Herman Zweibel's introduction to the book contains a picture of the [[invoked]][[HumbleBeginnings earliest existing issue]] of ''The Onion'', which is titled: "''The Mercantile-Onion. Being a Helpful Chronicle and [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe Digeſt of Publick Events]] of Significant Note, and Well-Found'd Advices, &c., for the General Enlightenment of Letter'd Yankees''."
97	** This has been simplified to "The Best Source of News-worthy Items in our Great Republic"[[note]]the hyphen is removed in 1908[[/note]] by the 1900s, and gets shorter and shorter as the decades pass:
98	--->'''1913:''' The Best Source of News in Our Great Republic\
99	'''1922:''' Finest Source of News in Our Great Republic\
100	'''1928:''' Finest Source of News in America\
101	'''1950:''' Finest News Source in America\
102	'''1968:''' Finest American News Source\
103	'''1981:''' America's Finest News Source[[note]]this is the one ''The Onion'' uses in RealLife[[/note]]\
104	'''1998:''' America's News Source
105	* ShoutOut: "Do you have [[WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends yesterday's newspaper, an extra bootlace]], and some grass?"
106	* ShownTheirWork: The newsprint style of each individual decade is painstakingly reproduced. There are also lots of period-accurate historical and literary references.
107	* SituationalSexuality: "Let's Work Together to Pretend Our War-Time Homosexual Experiences Never Happened"
108	* UsefulNotes/TheSpaceRace:
109	** "Bleeping Two-Foot Tin Ball Threatens Free World; America Suffers Major Defeat in Space-Gizmo Race"
110	** "Outer Space Falls to Communists; Russian Man is First in Orbit"
111	** "'''HOLY SHIT'''; MAN WALKS ON FUCKING MOON"
112	* StayInTheKitchen: "War Department Gears Up To Fire 3 Million Women"
113	* SubliminalSeduction: "Creator/BingCrosby Record Reveals Secret Message When Played Backward: 'Have a Swell Day, Ladies and Gents'"
114	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: [[UsefulNotes/PeaceThroughSuperiorFirepower "Nothing Going On In New Mexico"]]
115	--> "Top Physicists 'Just Camping' Say Army Intelligence Officials"
116	* TakeThat: An article about [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Peter Parker]]'s death by leukemia, noting that it's the sixth radiation-related death in the past month, following [[ComicBook/FantasticFour Reed Richards and his crew]] and [[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk Bruce Banner]].
117	* TheTreacheryOfImages: "Giant Poster of [[UsefulNotes/MaoZedong Mao]] Seizes Power In China"
118	* TuttiFruttiHat: When talking about a BananaRepublic: "CIA Subdues Fruit-Hatted Peoples of Lesser Americas"
119	* VerySpecialEpisode: "Nancy Reagan Ends Nation's Drug Problem with Very Special ''Series/DiffrentStrokes'' Appearance"
120	--> "Youths, Addicts Learn They Can 'Just Say No'"
121	* WaxingLyrical: "US Navy Intelligence Reports [[Theatre/SouthPacific 'There Is Nothing Like A Dame']]"
122	--> "Nothing Looks Like A Dame, There's No Books Like A Dame"
123	* WhoShotJFK: Parodied in "Kennedy Slain by CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters, Freemasons: President Shot 129 Times from 43 Different Angles".
124	** Then all 70+ suspects were shot outside the courtroom by Jack Ruby, leaving the whole thing a mystery.
125	** A headline in the next issue is "Warren Commission Admits to Killing JFK".
126	* WorstNewsJudgmentEver: "Death of 500,000 Somalis Momentarily Distracts Nation from Dream Team Excitement"
127	** "[[UsefulNotes/WarrenGHarding President Harding]] Dies Several Months Ago"
128	* YouHaveFailedMe: "God Kills Oral Roberts For Fundraising Shortfall", referencing the televangelist's [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer real statement]] that the Lord would "call him home" if he couldn't raise a particular sum of money by the end of the year.

Context Literature / OurDumbCentury