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1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/if_i_ran_the_zoo.jpg]]
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3''If I Ran the Zoo'' is a 1950 picture book by Creator/DrSeuss. A young boy called Gerald [=McGrew=], looking at his local zoo, muses about the wondrous creatures with which he could improve it if he were the zookeeper.
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5!!This book contains examples of the following tropes:
6* {{Bambification}}: One of the animals Gerald plans to put in his zoo is a tiny, cute deer with incredibly large and complex horns. He goes so far as to say the horns are the only reason the deer couldn't sleep next to you.
7* ElSpanishO: When Gerald claims to have brought an animal into his zoo from Russia, some of the words in his description end in "ski".
8* FoodAsBribe: Gerald mentions a creature called a Natch who won't emerge from his cave long enough to be caught. He plans to lure out the Natch using fancy cooking.
9* GiantFlyer: The Fizza-ma-Wizza-ma-Dill is a bird gigantic enough to eat whole pine trees, which Gerald says he'll capture as the ultimate addition to his zoo.
10* HeliCritter: One of the creatures Gerald says he'll catch is a bug with a propeller that allows him to travel cross-country.
11* ImagineSpot: The entire book is Gerald imagining the improvements he would make to the zoo.
12* LongNeck: The Tufted Mazurka has a throat so long it takes about a month and a half for food to make it to its stomach.
13* PickyEater: Many of the creatures Gerald talks about catching only eat very specific things:
14** The Obsk, which eats corn and rhubarb
15** The Bustard, which eats custard with mustard sauce
16** The Flustard, which eats mustard with custard sauce
17** The Fizza-ma-Wizza-ma-Dill, which eats pine trees.

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