Line #77 Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFourteen


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4	[[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Main]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdPilots Pilots]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonOne Season One]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTwo Season Two]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonThree Season Three]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFour Season Four]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFive Season Five]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSix Season Six]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSeven Season Seven]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEight Season Eight]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonNine Season Nine]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTen Season Ten]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEleven Season Eleven]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTwelve Season Twelve]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonThirteen Season Thirteen]] \| '''Season Fourteen''' \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFifteen Season Fifteen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSixteen Season Sixteen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSeventeen Season Seventeen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEighteen Season Eighteen]] \| [[Funny/AngryVideoGameNerdTheMovie The Movie]]
5
6	----
7	[[foldercontrol]]
8
9	[[folder:''Raid 2020'']]
10	* The first thing the Nerd does is complain about being forced to make good on a supposed promise from what was just supposed to be a throwaway line he said as a joke in a video 11 years ago.
11	-->'''Nerd:''' I wish I didn't say that. It was like pissing up a drainage pipe. It ''all'' comes back to ya.
12	** His trial playthrough in the intro features Shadow using the Jet Pack and getting knocked down into a landmine/[[UnfortunateNames poop-splattered anus]] by an off-screen insect. The Nerd looks at the camera and says, "''[[DeadpanSnarker This]]'' [[DeadpanSnarker is what we all been waiting for]]?"
13	* "Winners Fight Drugs": In the future, it's not enough to merely say "no" to drugs; you have to physically ''fight'' drugs.
14	* The Nerd's reaction to the game's intro text, whose first sentence reads, "A.D. 2020. A plague of narcotics transcending the bounds of race, economy and time have put a strangle hold on America."
15	-->'''Nerd:''' Transcending time? The drugs are transcending time? What, like, they're coming from the future? You're going into the future to get the drugs? Or the people from the future are travelling back to sell ’em? I don't know what, but if you had the capability of TimeTravel, you got to be really doped up if the first thought on your mind is getting more drugs!
16	* Describing drug-dealers in a unique way.
17	-->'''Nerd:''' [[Literature/OneFishTwoFishRedFishBlueFish Some are tall, some are short; some are sad, some are glad and some are very, very bad. Why are they sad, and glad, and bad? I do not know - go ask your Dad!]]
18	* "Poop-Splattered Anuses"
19	* The Nerd {{Corpsing}} and losing his mind over the mention of a "drug satellite".
20	* The Nerd's spectacular rant on the absurdly complicated level skip code, telling the viewers [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer they'll think he's making it up]]. [[note]]You have to plug in the Player 2 controller when the game is for 1 player only, then hold Up and A on the first controller while simultaneously holding Up on the second controller. Back to the first controller, you then have to press B, and then hold B and Select. If that isn't horrendous enough, you can't input the code on the title screen or while paused, so you have to do this ''during gameplay''. Not to mention, the code only skips one level at a time.[[/note]] He demonstrates an analogy where you have to input the KonamiCode with four controllers plugged into an [[Platform/NintendoEntertainmentSystem NES]] Four Score. Controller 1 = Up, Up, Controller 2 = Down, Down, Controller 3 = Left, Right, Left, Right, Controller 4 = B, A, Start.
21	* "Evil Motherfucking Molecules"
22	* This moment from the game that the Nerd describes, which basically [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext makes about as much sense in context.]]
23	-->'''Nerd:''' Just imagine this scene: A cop jumping off a drug dealers head to shoot a giant ant. And this game is anti-drugs? Well the developers had to be on something.
24	* The Nerd's ''[[OverlyLongGag long]]'' speech at the end of the review about the games with future years in their titles that he'll have to review in their year, complete with illustrations of the Nerd aging with each game that has a further and further year into the future. It goes on so long that it plays over the Cinemassacre logo at the end.
25	-->'''Nerd''': Maybe I'll play ''WesternAnimation/Phantom2040'' in the year 2040, or ''[[VideoGame/SanFranciscoRush Rush 2049]]'' in the year 2049. Then it's only a couple decades until ''Cyberball 2070,'' and if the new game ''VideoGame/Cyberpunk2077'' sucks, I can play that in 2077. But then, in all honesty, I might have the perfect excuse not to, because I'll be 97, or dead. But then, in 2084, after my body is replaced by a [[Franchise/TheTerminator T-800 endoskeleton with human skin]], I can review ''VideoGame/Robotron2084'', or ''[[TheProblemWithPenIsland Robot Ron]]'' if you prefer. In 2142, I'll upload my consciousness into the cloud, transcending physical existence and becoming everything and nothing, so I can review ''VideoGame/Battlefield2142''. I'm glad that one's not for a while. In the year 3000, I'll play ''VideoGame/SimCity 3000'' for the remaining humans, after my self-aware mechanical herd of Nerds wipes out the majority of the human population. Then, the machines will make a time displacement device, and send me back to the years I wasn't reviewing games, and review those also! I'll play every ''VideoGame/{{Madden\|NFL}}'' in the year they came out, ''Madden '94'', ''Madden '95'', ''Madden '96''. And once I get through all the ''Madden'' games, I'll go back to the year 64 and do ''[[VideoGame/SuperMario64 Mario 64]]'', ''VideoGame/{{Pilotwings}} 64'', and all the [[Platform/Nintendo64 N64]] games with [[SuperTitle64Advance "64" in the title]]! And then, just in case you thought it was 1964, I'll go to the year 1964 and do them all over again! Speaking of which, no one will know the difference because they've never seen a video game, in fact, they'd be so impressed with it, it would be like some kind of technological miracle. "Who is this weird robot guy who came from the future and brought electronic video TV games?" Then I'd decide, "Well, maybe I should've started them with Platform/Atari2600, because that would be simpler, rather than making somebody play a 3D game who's never seen or heard of a video game," but then I figure, "Well, why not go to the ''year'' 2600 to play Atari 2600, and then to the year 7800 for Platform/Atari7800, and wow, that's a long time from now, and I don't even think video games exist anymore." Or, the complete opposite. I'd play Platform/AtariJaguar in the year Jaguar, because now Creator/{{Apple}}'s naming all of them, and because numbers actually ran out by now, and, you know, everything else is going on. [-Poopity poopity turd fuck fuck fuck! And shitsauce!-] [--And...you know...n'ah...what were they thinking?--]
26	** When the Nerd mentions he'd probably be dead by the time he'd have to review ''Cyberpunk 2077'', we get an image of his gravestone in a cemetery:
27	--->'''[[WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead Here Lies NERD]]'''\
28	[[WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButthead He never Reviewed Cyberpunk 2077]]
29	** Him uploading his consciousness into the cloud is represented by him dragging a file folder titled "NERD CONSCIOUSNESS" and copying it into another folder titled "THE CLOUD".
30	[[/folder]]
31
32	[[folder:''Mortal Kombat 1 Ports'']]
33	* The mock-up of ''Mortal Kombat'' character select screen... with Nerd just standing around in confusion.
34	* The Nerd starts things off with:
35	--> '''Nerd:''' So how do these ports stack up against each other? Like this. ([[LiteralMinded holds up the cartridges stacked on each other as well as the Genesis and Sega CD boxes.]] They start slipping off.)
36	* Noting how the "sweat" in the [[Platform/SuperNintendoEntertainmentSystem SNES]] port is more disgusting than blood:
37	--> '''Nerd''': I mean, how sweaty ''are'' these fighters to begin with? They only just started fighting, and, like a gallon of sweat came out of Scorpion! I hope they're slammin' down Gatorade in between matches, otherwise they're gonna have some serious dehydration issues.
38	** Complete with [=MK11=] versions of Scorpion and Sub-Zero holding Gatorade bottles.
39	* The SNES version has an opening animation of Goro punching the Acclaim logo off screen. Given that Acclaim ended up buying out the Nerd's nemesis LJN, the Nerd is all too happy to see him do it.
40	* The World's Shittiest Fatality Award ([[CallBack YOU'RE WINNER!]]) goes to Johnny Cage's disappearing foot-kick to the chest from SNES version.
41	* If you don't use the blood code on the Platform/SegaGenesis version, the censored fatalities are somehow worse than the SNES ones: Sub-Zero just uppercuts you really high, Johnny Cage shadow-kicks you off-screen, and Kano... pulls some unidentifiable black object out of your chest instead of your beating heart. Nerd theorizes that Censored Kano steals your wallet, and the shock of such an act is enough to kill you.
42	* When mentioning the Platform/GameBoy port's selection screen, he says that Raiden's portrait looks like someone walked in while he's in the bathroom, Liu Kang has one huge tooth and Sonya has some pretty scary black soulless eyes.
43	* The Platform/GameGear version of the game has Goro about the same size as everyone else. Kind of like the pet Goros in the ''Judge Dredd'' arcade game.
44	* That fact that there's Tiger Electronics games for ''Mortal Kombat'' isn't enough to break the Nerd. Nor is the fact that they're '''somehow making a comeback'''. What's worse, is that there's ''emulators'' for them. Also, the [[XtremelyKoolLetterz Tiger Barcodzz]] game is pronounced "Bar cods" by the Nerd.
45	-->'''Nerd:''' Unfortunately, [[SarcasmMode yeah, unfortunately]], my Tiger Handheld of ''Mortal Kombat'' doesn't work, you know, so I can't play it. All I see is a jumbled mess of a person on the screen so we can just forget about this one. (folds arms) Except for the fact, that they made Tiger Handheld ''Emulators!'' '''WHAT.''' '''''THE FUCK?'''''
46	[[/folder]]
47
48	[[folder:''Mortal Kombat Rip-Offs'']]
49	* In ''Time Killers'', one of the characters ([[UnfortunateNames Rancid]]) is from 2024. [[CallBack The Nerd preemptively shoots down the assumption that he'll review it in the year 2024]] because he's doing it ''now''.
50	* Noting how ''Mortal Kombat'' itself was a class... but the first rip-off on the list, ''Time Killers'', was a "dirty 50-cent hooker you came across in an alley".
51	** "[[FinalBoss Death]] is a fuck." He even puts ''Shang Tsung, Goro and Shao Kahn'' to shame given how difficult he is!
52	** The music in Sega Genesis port sounds like London Symphony Orchestra... although Nerd notes ''it would've been'' if musicians would replace the instruments with deceased roosters.
53	** "I'd rather play ''Fred Savage's Savage Fury: Tournament Fighter''"... complete with Fred Savage's head imposed over Shao Kahn's head.
54	* This comment about ''Street Fighter: The Movie - The Game:''
55	-->'''Nerd:''' Capcom had to redo the game from the ground-up, but ''[[ColonCancer Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game: The Arcade]]'' will forever be another skid mark on the Street Fighter bath towel. Bath towel that E. Honda took a shit in...
56	* ''Jackie Chan in Fists of Fire'' provides some other funny comments:
57	-->'''Nerd:''' Oh, I don't care if the game sucks or not. It's Jackie [[PrecisionFStrike FUCKING]] Chan in a Mortal Kombat style fighting game!
58	** And:
59	-->'''Nerd:''' [[SoBadItsGood This game is ass... but it's fun ass]].
60	* ''Tattoo Ass-Ass-ins'' makes ''even Mortal Kombat'' a pussy... by having a large amount of Fatalities - ''a whopping 2,196'' (''244'' '''''per character''''')[[note]]This is technically a lie; the game has a pool of fatalities shared across the cast, and the devs multiplied the number of communal fatalities by the number of characters to get the inflated number[[/note]]!
61	-->'''Nerd:''' Thank God to [[Franchise/BackToTheFuture Bob Gale]] and Data East Pinball!
62	** Saying that [[ActionGirl Karla Keller]] is a cross between Sub-Zero and real-life figure skater Nancy Kerrigan.
63	* While playing ''Shadow: War of Succession'', the Nerd defines another meaning for S.H.A.D.O.W. acronym... in his classic foul-mouthed fashion, that is:
64	-->'''S'''hitty '''H'''eap of '''A'''ss '''D'''oused in '''O'''rangutan '''W'''izz
65	** "This game is a suckbitch"
66	** Imposing Pepsi logo over Shadow King with "PEPSIMAN!" jingle.
67	* Of course, beating ''War of Succession'' didn't gave the Nerd any satisfaction whatsoever.
68	-->'''Nerd:''' Truthfully, I'd rather lick a cat's asshole - [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs a catshole]]! Yeah, you know, if you had a black cat like mine, the brightest part of the cat is the asshole? It almost glows in the dark - when he runs down the basement, it looks like a white dot that's bouncing down the steps. Catshole... looks like a broken-off banana! But before I start elaborating further on "catsholes," I'd better come up with the ending... unfortunately, I've got nothing. So, I'll just have to rip-off some previous AVGN episodes!
69	--> '''(Cue the Nerd doing just that: placing the cartridge of ''Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game'' into the toaster and blowing it up; showcasing Karla Keller's ending as if it was "[[SarcasmMode the best ending in gaming history]]" just like in ''Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu'' episode; shooting Jason Voorhees in the head with the Zapper, but imposing the head of Death from ''Time Killers'' over his hockey mask; and finally, capping the montage off by shooting the case of ''Shadow: War of Succession'' with an arrow.)'''
70	[[/folder]]
71
72	[[folder:''Dennis the Menace'']]
73	* While going into ''[[ComicStrip/DennisTheMenaceUS Dennis the Menace]]'''s backstory, the Nerd mentions that the comic strip came out on the exact same day as [[ComicStrip/DennisTheMenaceUK a British comic strip sharing the same name]], which later became known as ''Dennis the Menace and Gnasher'' to distinguish itself. He then compares it to calling ''VideoGame/TheWizardOfOz'' shitty diarrhea and ''VideoGame/LesterTheUnlikely'' (which he calls "Lester the Unlikable" in this video) shitty diarrhea and puke.
74	* "Let's break out ''Dennis the Motherfuckin' [[Film/DontBeAMenaceToSouthCentralWhileDrinkingYourJuiceInTheHood Menace... 2 South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood."]]
75	* The Nerd calling Ocean Software, the company that developed the ''Dennis the Menace'' video game "The British version of [[Creator/LJNToys LJN]]".
76	* The Nerd saying that the difficulty of the auto-scrolling levels make video games like ''VideoGame/{{Contra}}'' and ''VideoGame/NinjaGaiden'' look easy by comparison, and showing the victory screen of ''VideoGame/StreetFighterII'', with the box arts for the three respective games covering the respective faces of Zangief, M. Bison, and Sagat.
77	* The Nerd describing the first boss, a deranged girl on a swing, as having an exaggerated ''[[WesternAnimation/TheRenAndStimpyShow Ren and Stimpy]]''-style expression, and calling Dennis "Dennis the Murderer" when he defeats her. This is followed by a clip from the ''WesternAnimation/TheCritic'' episode, "Sherman, Woman, and Child" of the fictional ''Dennis the Menace II Society'' movie, where Dennis destroys Mr. Wilson's house with machine guns.
78	* The Nerd noting how some of the enemies in the sewer level are [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtles]].
79	* After replaying the game, the Nerd looks up a walkthrough, as he cannot use a level skip code since the game doesn't have it, but the only walkthrough he is able to find stops after the third park level.
80	-->'''Nerd:''' The writer quit after four levels!
81	* The Nerd loses it after playing the game for three hours and getting a Game Over in the second woods level, so he becomes desperate to find out how the game ends. He looks up some screenshots of the game, where he finds out that the final boss is Switchblade Sam, the film's villain, and that his reward is an AWinnerIsYou ending if he defeats him.
82	-->'''Nerd:''' I'm not restarting this shitty game just to see Suckbitch Sam roll by me in a fucking wheelbarrow while some pixelated assholes stare at me under credits!
83	* "Dennis the Menace? More like "Den-'''ASS''' the Men-'''ASS'''!"
84	* The Nerd gets rid of the game by firing it with a slingshot, where it breaks through his window and flies through its own levels before landing in Mr. Wilson's head, using actual footage from the 1993 movie with the game photoshopped over a flaming marshmallow.
85	* In a much more meta sense, the [[https://i.imgur.com/jWHCbC9.jpeg episode's thumbnail]]. A lot of people had to remind themselves it was a slingshot Dennis was holding, and actually thought it looked like a dick! The thumbnail has since been changed to reposition the artwork of Dennis so it's more obvious that it's a slingshot.
86	[[/folder]]
87
88	[[folder:''The Incredible Crash Dummies'']]
89	* "Today we have the NES game, ''The Incredible Crash Dummies'', based on the cartoon based on toys based on the public service announcements."
90	* While talking about [=PSAs=], the Nerd mentions that he had a friend who learned about marijuana from a PSA involving [[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 the 1987 incarnations of the Ninja Turtles]].
91	-->'''Nerd:''' Could you imagine that conversation? "What's a marijuana, mom?" "Where'd you hear that, son?" "Oh, from the Ninja Turtles." And from that, he was never allowed to watch ''Ninja Turtles'' again. True story.
92	* While going into the backstory of the Incredible Crash Dummies, the Nerd mentions that he used to collect the toys of the Crash Dummies, and the main reason is because the whole point of playing with them is to break them, especially if you put them in cars and set them up in stunt scenes. The only downside is that sometimes you could lose pieces behind the furniture. The Nerd says he's going to find the Crash Dummies' limbs in his game room for years to come.
93	* As he goes over the action figures of the Incredible Crash Dummies, the Nerd mentions that he had a friend whose mom wouldn't let him play with them because they made kids think crashing cars was cool. The Nerd, having been in real car accidents twice, knows that real car accidents are not fun, but the Crash Dummies are harmless because they aren't real people, until he finds out that the Crash Dummies also had dog, cat, and baby characters.
94	-->'''Nerd:''' Okay, I take it back. These things were pretty fucked up. What were they thinking?!
95	* "You could also run over a skunk... which would make it a roadkilled skunk... that I'd rather eat the rotten asshole out of."
96	* The Nerd playing a casette tape of ''Music/CrashTestDummies'' on his Commodore 64, only to find out that it's not a game based on ''The Incredible Crash Dummies'', and it causes his computer to crash.
97	-->'''Nerd:''' Oh, wait. That's not a game. It's the band. Okay.
98	* The Nerd [[LampshadeHanging lampshading]] the fact that he's covering the LJN logo on the game's box with his finger and his fans are expecting him to reveal it, complete with dramatic music.
99	** Said reveal being immediately followed up with a parody of ''Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm''.
100	-->"Once... There was this nerd who... Got ''Incredible Crash Dummies'' on the [=NES=], but when... He saw [[Creator/LJNToys that logo]]... He... Knew... The game would be extra shitty! He said he'd rather smash his own nutsack with a crooooowwwww baaaaarrrrr... Mmm mmm mmm mmm, mmm mmm mmm mmm.."
101	* This line from the Nerd when he starts up the game:
102	--> '''Nerd:''' ''"[[OscarBait It takes place in a dystopian, post-apocalyptic world, where car crashes have caused the entire human race to go extinct. A group of sentient crash-test dummies spend their days trying to create the safest vehicle for the next wave of dominant organic life-forms]].''" [[BaitAndSwitch Nah, the real plot is way more boring than that]].
103	* The Nerd calling Slick and Spin "The Incredible Crash Dumbasses."
104	* The Nerd points out that one thing he likes about the game is the music, which was composed by AwesomeMusic/TimAndGeoffFollin, who also composed the soundtrack for ''VideoGame/SilverSurfer1990'', which he even has on vinyl.
105	* The Nerd giving the game cartridge a truly IronicDeath by placing it into an ''Incredible Crash Dummies'' playset and [[CarFu ramming it repeatedly with the launchable toy car that comes with it]]; all while a parody cover of the Primitives’ "Crash" plays in the background.
106	** For bonus points, [[https://youtu.be/fVsMIaXIMfE said cover]] is not only [[SugarWiki/AwesomeMusic actually very good]] and [[HiddenDepths features James Rolfe himself on guitar]], but has Creator/ElsieLovelock on vocals. It's worth the admission price ''alone'' to hear her sing lines like "shitty games falling out your ass!". Made even funnier by the fact that the song she recorded was raised to a slightly higher pitch when it was used in the episode, and the end result sounds like a cute anime girl singing an extremely vulgar J-Pop song.
107	[[/folder]]
108
109	[[folder:''Bad Final Fight Games'']]
110	* Before playing ''VideoGame/FinalFight Revenge'', the Nerd spends a full minute criticizing the Action Replay Plus box art, specifically the different fonts they used.
111	* The Nerd gives his final analysis of ''VideoGame/FinalFight Revenge'':
112	-->'''The Nerd:''' "Overall, it makes my bowels bubble. Not spray diarrhea or anything like that, just, uh, you know a wet fart makes the "kind of" gesture eeehh."
113	* The Nerd says that Belger [[Film/TheIncrediblyStrangeCreatures stopped living and became a mixed-up zombie]].
114	* His analysis on the rarity of the game and if its worth paying the high online asking prices:
115	-->'''The Nerd:''' "...It's not worth it to me. You'd either have to be a ''VideoGame/FinalFight'' mega fan in order to pay money for this or be somebody whose addicted to buying shit and have no concept in the value of money. You'd have to be a ''total'' loser. [[BaitAndSwitch Thanks Matt McMuscles for sending me your copy]]!"
116	* While playing ''Final Fight Streetwise'', he states that as a teenager, he may have found the game's attempts to be edgy with a sign saying "Cum Get Some" to be funny, but he's now older and more mature, having moved on... [[HypocriticalHumor to]] [[ToiletHumor shit jokes]].
117	* Turns out the Nerd may or may not have stolen his copy of ''Final Fight Revenge'' from good ol' WebVideo/MattMcMuscles as opposed to his original claim of having it [[BlatantLies "sent"]] to him.
118	* On that note, Matt himself showing up to tell the Nerd exactly [[{{Pun}} wha happun]] with the development of ''Final Fight Streetwise'' and how the plot goes from a typical gangsta respec' storyline to full on ''Resident Evil''.
119	* After finishing his story synopsis, Matt asks if he should send the Nerd his (Matt's) address to get the game back. The Nerd wordlessly hangs up his [[TwoDecadesBehind early 90's flip phone]] without so much as a goodbye.
120	[[/folder]]
121
122	[[folder:''Mission: Impossible'']]
123	* The Nerd is given his "mission" via his ''Film/MissionImpossibleII'' soundtrack, which he listens to on his Platform/PlayStation1. Unfortunately, [[ThisPageWillSelfDestruct the disc self-destructs after three seconds]], not enough time to save his [=PlayStation=].
124	* Nerd demonstrating "sudden-jumping-while-trying-to-pick-up-items" gig.
125	* The montage of head shots causing enemies to do a 360 head-over-heels flip, something that defies even loose video game physics.
126	* After completing the game, a bonus level starts where you can talk to the developers. Attack them and they ''kick your ass''. The Nerd's incredulous reaction is ''priceless''.
127	-->'''Nerd (a bit later):''' To be fair, the programmers had some good ideas that didn't pan out well... but kicking my ass was the best idea.
128	* The ''very'' bad voice acting in the [[Platform/PlayStation PS1]] version which makes the much maligned ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil'' acting seem like [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Shakespeare]].
129	* The Nerd pointing out that he would play the aforementioned version... if his [=PlayStation=] didn't [[CaptainObvious blow up]].
130	* The TwistEnding in which the Nerd unmasks to reveal he is ''Creator/TomCruise''.[[note]]Played by CelebrityImpersonator Evan Ferrante.[[/note]] Turns out Cruise was both the Nerd in this and [[CallBack the Power Glove episode]] where the Nerd landed the plane in ''VideoGame/TopGun''. He ends up getting so pumped with Cruise's (in)famous enthusiasm, ''he explodes''.
131	[[/folder]]
132
133	[[folder:''Ecco the Dolphin'']]
134	* While going into Ecco's backstory, the Nerd mentions that unlike Sega's other mascots at the time, such as ''Franchise/SonicTheHedgehog'' and ''VideoGame/ToeJamAndEarl'', both of which were TotallyRadical, Ecco was just a relatively mundane dolphin. He didn't ride a skateboard, have a mohawk, shoot lasers from his eyes, or make wisecracking jokes.
135	* The Nerd calling ''Ecco Jr and the Great Ocean Hunt'' a "Pico Shit".
136	* After the Nerd brings up ''Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future'' for the Platform/SegaDreamcast, he finds out that the Dreamcast is now officially 21 years old, which is the legal drinking age in the US, so he pours some Rolling Rock into his Dreamcast, [[DidntThinkThisThrough which causes it to shut down]].
137	-->'''Nerd:''' Hmmm. What a lightweight.
138	* At the beginning of the game, when Ecco jumps out of the water and all his friends get sucked into a tornado while the screen flashes, the Nerd says it's one of the most traumatizing moments in video game history, and that he once knew someone who was so traumatized by that scene, he hid the game under his bed, where it remained for many years. He then says it might have done more damage to kids' minds than ''Franchise/MortalKombat''.
139	* When the Nerd brings up Ecco's OxygenMeter, he mentions that he read in an issue of ''Magazine/{{Zoobooks}}'' that real-life dolphins can hold their breaths for eight to ten minutes, whereas Ecco can only do so for one minute and twenty seconds. He then asks if Ecco is a chain smoker, and shows the game's box, with its cover art edited to have Ecco smoking cigarettes.
140	-->'''Nerd:''' Chill out on the fuckin' Newports, Ecco!
141	* The Nerd drinking Rolling Rock becomes an EscalatingPunchline in this episode:
142	** The Nerd encounters trouble when trying to unlock the first door glyph he encounters. When he manages to do so the first time, he's low on air, so he goes back and resurfaces for oxygen. Then when he returns, the door respawns. The Nerd replaces his usual glass bottle with drinking two cans at once.
143	** When the Nerd attempts to complete the second level, the Undercaves, which involves such tasks as pushing a sharp shell to clear away boulders and swimming slowly past an octopus, he ends up running out of air just as he nears the end. He then pulls out a keg of Rolling Rock and drinks from it.
144	** After he completes the Undercaves, the Nerd is tasked with [[RuleOfThree rescuing three dolphins]] in the third level, the Vents. Finding all three dolphins upgrades Ecco's sonar ability, allowing it to defeat enemies. Although the level can be completed without finding the three dolphins, Ecco doesn't get the sonar upgrade if he does. After he accidentally moves onto the fourth level, the Lagoon, after rescuing only one dolphin, the Nerd drinks from the keg a second time.
145	** After the Nerd successfully rescues the three dolphins in the Vents and gets the sonar upgrade, he finds out that the Lagoon's task involves rescuing three more dolphins. He then empties every can, bottle, and keg of Rolling Rock he can find into a hot tub and screams in it, eventually drinking a Rolling Rock can ''while still submerged in Rolling Rock''. After that, he dries himself off with a ''WesternAnimation/DanielTigersNeighborhood'' towel.
146	* When the Nerd finally gets to the third and final dolphin in the Lagoon, he questions how it was able to get to the furthest depths of the maze, considering all of the obstacles, including the giant octopus, the tentacles that grab Ecco, crabs and jellyfish that swim into him, and boulders that require pushing sea stars to clear them away. He also questions how said dolphin [[SuperNotDrowningSkills hasn't drowned]], since Ecco can only hold his breath for one minute and twenty seconds.
147	* After rescuing the three dolphins in the Lagoon, the Nerd gets another sonar upgrade which [[PowerUpLetdown only confuses Sharks]]. The Nerd then tries to finish the level, as he is low on both health and air, but ends up getting killed by a crab, which causes him to become so angry, he chirps like a dolphin, or as fans of ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' would call it, "[[Recap/SpongeBobSquarePantsS2E18SailorMouthArtistUnknown says Bad Word #11]]". Further cementing the connection, he says that the difficulty of ''Ecco'' makes him want to cram a Krusty Krab up his cornhole. He then pulls Ecco out of the game, punches him, puts a funnel in his blowhole, and defecates in it.
148	[[/folder]]
149
150	[[folder:''Countdown Vampires'']]
151	* When the Nerd goes into the game's backstory, he compares it to ''VideoGame/TimeKillers'', then says [[InsultToRocks that comparison sounds mean to]] ''[[InsultToRocks Time Killers]]'', and instead compares it to ''VideoGame/ShadowWarOfSuccession''. He soon finds out that the game's company, K2, was acquired by Creator/{{Capcom}} in 2008, and even helped develop ''VideoGame/ResidentEvil5'', and that he didn't realize how accurate his comparison to ''Time Killers'' was.
152	* After the Nerd finishes the game's backstory, he is about to play it, only to find that [[CallBack his PS1 self-destructed in his]] ''[[CallBack Mission Impossible]]'' [[CallBack review]]. He decides to test the game anyway, and surprisingly, it works.
153	* When the Nerd starts up the game, he finds out that the game takes up three memory card slots to save, so he plugs his WCW/NWO Bill Goldberg memory card into his [=PS1=].
154	* In the name entry screen, the Nerd names his character "Diarrhea Dickwaffles", and selects his blood type as AB for "Astrobastard".
155	* Among the random characters who show up in the intro cutscene, the Nerd decides that he likes the gray cat the best, as it reminds him of [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Meowth]].
156	* In the game, vampires are turned back into humans not with holy water, but "white water". The Nerd suggests the next time one gets chased by vampires, they can be beaten by using a raft and traveling down some rapids.[[labelnote:*]]This could also be a reference to the stereotype of vampires being unable to cross running water.[[/labelnote]]
157	* The Nerd thinks that if the game just wants its title to refer to two things that are in the game ("countdowns" and "vampires"), he says they'd be better off calling it ''Shit Graphics, Fucked Voice Acting''.
158	* The Nerd pointing out the game's atrocious English. Some highlights include "Thank again. With much gratitude." "mysticalstrength", "bepouring", "Stun Globe", and "There's an elevator, but it doesn't to turn on the power."
159	* The Nerd finds out that it takes two discs to play the full game. After defeating the first boss, he thinks it's the game's FinalBoss and he can finally stop playing it, only to discover that it was a literal example of a DiscOneFinalBoss.
160	* At the end of his review, the Nerd finds out that there's an additional Story Mode that gets unlocked if the game is beaten in under eight hours. However, the Nerd didn't unlock it because it took him nine hours and thirty-seven minutes to beat the game. The Nerd decides [[WeAreNotGoingThroughThatAgain there's no way he's going to play the game again, let alone for another eight hours]], so he destroys the game by stabbing it with a dagger. The game actually bleeds as this happens.
161	[[/folder]]
162
163	[[folder:''The Legend of Kage'']]
164	* The Nerd begins his review by saying that he got his Nintoaster fixed, and it now has an HDMI output so that he can play 8-bit games in higher quality. He then pulls out a bread bag with NES games in it, with ''The Legend of Cage'' at the top.
165	** Superimposing the "You Don't Say?" Creator/NicolasCage meme face onto the NES box art.
166	* Calling the titular hero "Ninja Dad".
167	** Also, this:
168	--->'''Nerd:''' And when Ninja Dad jumps 80 feet in the air, he flashes his balls and ass to everyone on the ground! What a shitty day when you get a shuriken thrown in your face, just before you get treated to a nice view of his [[{{Pun}} ningenitals]]!
169	* The idea for ''The Legend of Kage Controller'': just stick a bunch of gum on the Up button.
170	* "Let me say: the character you play as is called an Iga Ninja... as in "I'm [[{{Pun}} eager]] to throw this game into a fucking woodchipper!"
171	* "NO. FUCKING... '''CONTINUES!'''"
172	** Complete with ''biting the controller''.
173	* Interpreting the screen-clearing attack as Kage unleashing an ultimate Hot Dog fart, and saying that dying ninjas drop down like ''Tennessee fainting goats''.
174	-->'''Nerd:''' Have fun googling that one.
175	* His comments on the AWinnerIsYou ending screen, but most notably:
176	--> '''Nerd:''' "This was a story of a young ninja in old days in Japan." Oh, I wasn't aware 'til now. He's a ''young'' ninja, in ''old days, in Japan.'' Sounds like the opening to a story, not the ending! It might as well say, "You successfully 'shit' the turd of this 'ass' game. The smell pervaded. This was once upon a time."
177	[[/folder]]
178
179	[[folder:''Taito Legends 1 & 2'']]
180	* The Nerd noting he can now play [=PS2=] games in his Nintoaster. Cue the disc sitting in there ''very'' loosely. There was a lot of bread crumbs inside the bottom, which led to ''Kage'' looking a bit...crap.
181	* These two compilations contain '''68 games''' in total - ''which is more than Action 52.''
182	-->'''Nerd:''' That is some ''Value of the Motherfuckest!''
183	* ''Space Invaders '95: The Attack of the Looner Loonies'' - one of the 6 Space Invaders-like games - features creatively-named characters to choose from: Toilet 1 and Toilet 2, the former of which is described as "Japanese-Style-Toilet Type Super Weapon".
184	-->'''Nerd:''' ''How in the sweet name of '''shit''''' could you NOT choose the Japanese-Style-Toilet Type Super Weapon?!
185	** Referring the entire ''Space Invaders'' franchise as ''[[ShoutOut Space Invaders Cinematic Universe]]''.
186	* ''Plump Pop'' is a cross between ''Arkanoid'' and ''Breakout'' but with a weird twist... as in, ''the child'' serves as the projectile launched by a trampoline held by two parents.
187	-->'''Nerd:''' Imagine if the only way to save the world was to [[ItMakesSenseInContext launch your only child into the]] '''[[CallBack FUCKING STRATOSPHERE]]''' SMASHING INTO THE [=UFOs=]... ''all just for the Medal of Goddamn Honor!''
188	* ''Bust-A-Move Again'', one of the ''Bubble Bobble'' sequels, weirds out the Nerd by an image of what looks like a Bigfoot [[TheImmodestOrgasm having O-face]].
189	-->'''Nerd (shocked):''' Oh, fuck this game... I never wanna see it again!
190	* ''Cameltry'' - a precursor to ''Sonic the Hedgehog'' Bonus Stage's idea of navigating the ball through the rotating labyrinth - doesn't feature any camels at all (besides the title screen, at least). Cue the Nerd imposing an arcade cabinet of the game into the desert [[VisualPun with an actual camel who wants to try]] said game.
191	* In ''Insector X'', an enemy that resembles the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee gets killed off and the Nerd displays a memorial for said character.
192	* The Nerd briefly encountering ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfKage'' again.
193	-->'''Nerd:''' Next, we have ''The Legend of Kage''... oh no! It already got its own episode! That greedy son of a bitch can go suck a shit out of an orangutan ass!
194	* When reviewing ''Nastar Warrior'':
195	--> '''Nerd''': The sequel is ''Nastar'', which is ''Rastan'' spelled backwa- wait, no, it isn't. It's just ''Rastan'', scrambled up. I mean what kind of gimmick is ''that''? It'd be like making a sequel to ''Super Mario Bros.'', and calling it ''Maroi Brothers''.
196	* ''Growl'': He is highly amused by the insert coin sound byte and presses it over and over:
197	--> "Hey, come on! Hey, come on! Hey, come on!"
198	* At the tail end of the video, Nerd unearths the new legend in the world of fighting games... ''VideoGame/ViolenceFight''. And more importantly he meets the new unsung hero of fighting games that make the likes of Ryu and Scorpion look like dead old men, the legend that is '''''Lick Joe'''''. And finally, Lick Joe unleashes the mother of all insults, the new standard of trash talk: "SAMMY YOU!"
199	** "The first rule of ''Violence Fight'' is you '''TALK''' about ''Violence Fight''!"
200	[[/folder]]
201
202	[[folder:''Bartman Meets Radioactive Man'']]
203	* The video's intro being done in the style of the opening credits sequence from ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', with the Nerd as Homer, the ''[[VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing Big Rigs]]''/Brutal Chex Spokesman as Marge, [[VideoGame/RoboticOperatingBuddy R.O.B. the Robot]] as Bart, the Floating Green Head as Lisa, and Shit Pickle as Maggie. And there's even a [[StockScream Wilhelm Scream]] when the Nerd is running away from the car... which is now Super Mecha Death Christ 3000.
204	* The ad for Express VPN starring Dr. Nick Riviera and Fat Tony that occurs just afterwards.
205	* When the Nerd talks about how in Christmas of 1992, kids were hyped for toys, as well as [[Film/{{Toys}} the film of the same name]] on VHS, he says that he personally preferred ''Film/DemonicToys''.
206	* The Nerd says that [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons the TV show the game is based on]] was great back in 1992, but [[FranchiseZombie has gone on way too long and needs to stop]]... [[HypocriticalHumor just before saying "Okay, on to AVGN Episode 180-Something"]].
207	* The Nerd brings up previous games he's reviewed, pointing out that they were all made by [[Creator/LJNToys LJN]], and says that ''Bartman Meets Radioactive Man'' stands out because it was made by Creator/{{Acclaim}}... who bought out LJN.
208	* The Nerd pointing out Dr. Julius Crab's resemblance to [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Zoidberg]].
209	* After making it through a particularly frustrating level when he's on his last life, the Nerd saves Radioactive Man, who teams up with Bartman to defeat the final boss, Braino the Magnificent. The Nerd expects Braino to be difficult, but to his surprise, [[AntiClimaxBoss Braino is really easy to defeat]], since he only takes five hits and can hardly hurt Bartman. The Nerd then points out the irony of a giant brain being extremely dumb, and after defeating him, says that he doesn't have to play another shitty game for a while... but for how long? For a little bit, at least.
210	* After having played all three ''Simpsons'' NES games, the Nerd says that he's so angry, he's gonna have a cow... and promptly shits a whole cow out.
211	[[/folder]]

Context Funny / TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFourteen