Line #28 Funny/MissFishersMurderMysteries


1	* From "Cocaine Blues":
2	-->'''Aunt Prudence:''' At this hour? It's not safe! What makes you think you can just walk off on your own?!
3	-->'''Phryne:''' ''[casually]'' 'Cause I'm carrying a gun. ''[pulls out her revolver]''
4	-->'''Prudence:''' ''[aghast]'' PHRYNE!
5	** Also earlier from the same episode, when Phryne gets an invitation in the mail:
6	--->'''Phryne:''' A luncheon. Today! With Lydia Andrews, how lovely. ''[disappointed]'' Oh, and Aunt Prudence.\
7	'''Mac:''' [[SarcasmMode Shame I have to perform an urgent bowel operation]].
8	* From "Murder on the Ballarat Train":
9	** Cec and Bert are intending to take up new jobs, saying that their old taxi can't handle Miss Fisher's furniture, as she'd asked them to move it. She accepts, and gives them an address, saying that there's an "expression of her gratitude there." Cue Cec and Bert staring at a CoolCar, which Cec drools over, while Bert mutters about having left the docks to get out from under the heel of capitalist overlords. Further cue Mr Butler, who arrives with a drink for each of them... and reveals that it's been arranged for them to pick up the furniture. The expression change is hilarious.
10	** And the investigation...
11	-->'''Jack''': So if the compartment door was locked, how did you get in?
12	-->'''Phryne''': [[BlatantLies I hit it with my shoe.]]
13	-->'''Jack''': [[DeadpanSnarker Your shoe seems to have the ballistic capabilities of a .38 caliber revolver.]]
14	-->'''Phryne''': Fancy that.
15	** Later in the investigation, Phryne decides to take matters into her own hands, with her new [[CoolCar Hispano Suiza]].
16	-->'''Phryne''': Isn't it glorious? They say it can reach up to 85 mph, but I'm sure we can do better. drives off in a blur of dirt
17	-->'''Jack''': ... Collins, has Miss Fisher just kidnapped our murder victim's daughter and a suspect?
18	-->'''Collins''': She has now, sir.
19	** Mr Butler's hilariously inaccurate assumption that Miss Fisher is a spinster with a regular routine and preference for the quiet life. After Cec sprays half his drink on the ground, the two wear identical smirks of, "Oh, this is going to be ''great''." When she turns up later, casually revealing that of her two new houseguests, one is the daughter of a murder victim and the other is street urchin thief, then advising he be careful with her luggage - her pistol's still in there, and it might be loaded. Mr Butler then looks up at Cec and Bert, who're gleefully watching the show from the balcony, and says: "Thank you for the warning, gentlemen."
20	* From "The Green Mill Murder", Phryne attends an autopsy and the old-fashioned coroner objects. Jack allows her to stay on condition that she utter not one word.
21	-->'''Coroner''': Most likely, the weapon was some sort of thin knife. A stiletto, perhaps.
22	-->'''Phryne''': [''wordlessly pulls out a hatpin and mimes stabbing it into the corpse'']
23	-->'''Jack''': Or a... hatpin.
24	* In "Murder In Montparnasse" Phryne and Jack recreate a hit-and-run using Hugh's nephew's toy cars, complete with ridiculous sound effects. Phryne rolling a toy car along and making "vroom" noises is funny enough, but the normally stoic and serious Jack contributing a "beep beep" makes it ''hilarious''.
25	** From the same episode, the bored look on Jack's face as he responds to Chambers' bribery is priceless:
26	-->'''[[ConMan Hector Chambers]]''': The Police Association clubrooms must be in need of, what, a couple of new punching bags, yeah? ([[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney pulling notes out of his wallet]]) Some new table tennis paddle sticks, yeah?
27	-->'''Jack''': [[DeadpanSnarker Add bribery to the charges.]]
28	-->'''Hugh''': Yes, sir.
29	* In "Ruddy Gore", Phryne gives Hugh a very illustrated book called "Erotic Secrets of the Far East", ''ostensibly'' so he can make sure it doesn't violate any obscenity laws, but really so he can get some relationship advice for himself and Dot. Hugh's obvious discomfort just sells it further.
30	--> '''Phryne''': You might enjoy it. There's an excellent chapter on kissing.
31	--> '''Hugh''': ''[utterly amazed]'' ''A whole chapter'' on kissing?!
32	--> '''Phryne''': Oh, yes. When it comes to seduction, the East have a few thousand years' head start on us.
33	** The look of ''abject horror'' on Hugh's face as he opens it and catches an image on the page.
34	* "Murder in the Dark" gives us the [[StiffUpperLip very proper]] Mr. Butler eating some of Phryne's cousin's weed-laced fudge. [[RuleOfFunny Predictably,]] he goes completely nuts, splashing in a fountain, squealing and being chased across Prudence's garden by Bert and Cec.
35	-->'''Phryne''': How many pieces did you have?!
36	-->'''Mr. B''': ''[counts up to four, giggling, before running off squealing]''
37	* The context is ''[[IHaveYourWife very]]'' dark, but Jack tries to take Phryne into protective custody in the Series 1 finale, to prevent her from haring off into danger[[note]]yes, again--but worse than usual this time[[/note]]. When she protests by kicking him in the shin, he arrests her for assaulting an officer, and Hugh carries her bodily to a cell, trailing terrified apologies the whole way.
38	* In "Dead Man's Chest," Phryne first calls Jack from her vacation to ask him to look into the theft of a valuable coin collection. The next time she calls him, a dead body has turned up. Jack takes the news with characteristic deadpan:
39	-->'''Jack:''' A murder? I hope you didn't go to any trouble on my account.
40	** Mr. Butler is similarly unfazed when Dot informs him of the development on his arrival:
41	--->'''Dot:''' You're just in time, Mr Butler. There's been a murder. \
42	'''Mr. Butler:''' Will that be one less for dinner, then?
43	** In the same episode, Bert and Cec drop by the City South police station to deliver some evidence to Hugh, and Bert is stinking drunk off a bottle of rum he bought during their errand. Hugh comments to Cec that he should lock Bert up in the cells for being drunk and disorderly - at which point both of them turn to watch as, in the background, Bert stumbles and falls flat on his face.
44	--->'''Cec:''' [''plaintively''] Couldja? Just for a bit?
45	* From "Murder À La Mode" - Dot shows off her new suit:
46	--> [''Fashion house model walks past in a SexyBacklessOutfit'']
47	-->'''Dot''': It's elegant with a twist, wouldn't you say?
48	-->'''Hugh''': [[DistractedByTheSexy Hmm? Sorry?]] No, yeah, very ... very nice.
49	-->'''Dot''': You don't think it's too sensible?
50	-->'''Hugh''': [[DiggingYourselfDeeper Yes, no, I love the ... twisty parts. And that's a gorgeous shade of ... of brown.]]
51	** Shortly afterwards, Hugh gets DistractedByTheSexy again, after he opened the doors of the police station for the female suspects. The model politely thanks him, and Hugh distractedly closes the door ... and almost locking out his boss.
52	-->'''Jack:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You might need me, Collins.]]
53	** Later on in the episode Dot (still anxious about not being stylish enough) asks Hugh what his favourite outfit of hers is. He obviously has no idea, and says the outfit she was wearing the day they met. Dot crossly points out she was wearing [[{{Meido}} a maid's uniform]].
54	-->'''Dot''': Ms. Fisher's right about one thing. Dressing to please a man is definitely beside the point.
55	* From "Death at the Wheel" - Mr. Butler is helping Bert and Cecil create a fake Russian driver's license for Dot so she can go undercover:
56	-->'''Mr. Butler:''' Is your friend from the Communist Party sure this is a driver's license?
57	-->'''Bert:''' It's either that or a fishing permit.
58	** Cec gleefully says that he's come up with a beaut of a name for Dot's false identity, which we hear in the following scene when Phryne introduces her as the ladies' team replacement driver: Miss Valentina Runemallova[[note]]"run 'em all over"[[/note]].
59	** Later in the same episode, the subtitles reveal that the Russian Phryne speaks to "Miss Valentina" is just [[FunWithForeignLanguages an assortment of random phrases]].
60	* From "The Blood of Juana the Mad", Phryne explaining to Mac just why she and Jack are currently at odds with each other:
61	-->'''Phryne''': He had a nasty scare. Thought I'd killed myself in a car accident, and now he thinks I'm too much trouble.
62	-->'''Mac''': You are!
63	-->'''Phryne''': So he's running scared.
64	-->'''Mac''': [''eyeroll''] Coward.
65	* From "Murder Under the Mistletoe" - After Dot has called Hugh at the station to tell him a death has occured and Phryne thinks it's murder. Jack overhears the conversation.
66	-->'''Jack:''' What was all that about?
67	-->'''Hugh:''' Oh, Miss Fisher's gone on holiday again, sir.
68	-->'''Jack:''' Huh. [[DeadpanSnarker Anyone dead yet?]]
69	-->'''Hugh:''' Only one so far, sir.
70	* Watching the Abbottsford team practice in "Marked For Murder".
71	-->'''Jack:''' Don't feel like helping out, Collins? Do your bit for Abbottsford?
72	-->'''Hugh:''' [''sulking''] No, there's no point, sir. Harper's gone and his vice-captain's locked up for carrying on with his wife.
73	-->'''Jack:''' That was his motive, Collins, not the reason we locked him up.
74	-->'''Hugh:''' Anyway ... [[SeriousBusiness I just need you to know, sir, I've burnt my footy scarf.]]
75	** Also from "Marked For Murder": Dot and Hugh follow [[OpposingSportsTeam rival football teams]], and Bert comments to Dot she'll have to convert when they get married. She says [[TakeAThirdOption she'll divide the family instead]]: the boys can cheer for Abbotsford and the girls for West Melbourne.
76	--->'''Bert:''' It's people like you who bring footy clubs down, Dottie!
77	** Actually, nearly every scene talking about how Aussie Rules football is SeriousBusiness. Including Phryne admitting to Jack that she's a 'lapsed' Collingwood fan.
78	* The gang sees Miss Fisher undercover at the burlesque in "Murder Most Scandalous". Dot is shocked, [[MaleGaze Bert and Cec seem rather pleased,]] Hugh - eyes wide as tennis balls - can't believe what he's seeing and wants to die of embarrassment on the spot... then the camera pans over to Jack, who just closes his eyes wearily, clearly telegraphing the thought: "It's her, isn't it. Of COURSE it's Miss ''bloody'' Fisher doing the ''bloody'' fan dance... Christ, I need a drink."
79	** The best part is that he is, at the same time, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny clearly trying not to laugh.]]
80	** Immediately following Phryne's performance, Jack tactfully explains to Hugh what's got Dot so upset: namely that the young lady - the young escort - who was just none-too-subtly flirting with Hugh is Dot's estranged sister. Hugh's eyes promptly bug out in a priceless OhCrap face and he books it after Dot without another word.
81	*** The very idea that the very sweet, naive (to begin with), and quietly devout Dot has a sister who is... a prostitute. And none of those things.
82	* In "Death & Hysteria", Phryne, Mac, Jack and his temporary constable examine the murder victim's body and Phryne suggests that the victim's "electrical massager" electrocuted her. At first, Jack is unclear about what she means, but when she finally narrows it down for him, he gets all flushed and relates how he has seen something similar before:
83	-->'''Jack:''' I was once ordered to raid a brothel in Chinatown that employed all manner of... interesting devices.\
84	'''Phryne:''' There's a tale I haven't heard.\
85	'''Jack:''' I confess I failed to see the point of most of them.\
86	'''Mac:''' ''[gestures towards [[LovableSexManiac Phryne]]]'' I have a friend who can enlighten you.
87	* In "Game, Set & Murder", Phryne turns out to be [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes terrified of spiders]] and Jack starts [[{{Troll}} messing with her relentlessly]] over it:
88	-->'''Phryne:''' ''[about a jar containing a captured spider]'' Do you think you can get rid of that now?

Context Funny / MissFishersMurderMysteries