| 1 | * Snowpuff the Elf, otherwise known as a cow-poke named Nolan, is a walking CMOF. |
| 2 | ** The face he makes when told that elves "act happy" is pretty wonderful. |
| 3 | ** "My father always told me it's better to go out in a blaze of glory than to rot in a state correctional facility!" |
| 4 | * Max the cop asks Jake to tell his waitress wife Marjorie that if she doesn't come for Christmas, he'll die. One AnswerCut later: |
| 5 | -->'''Marjorie:''' Good! Die! |
| 6 | * Max's reason for why he kissed an ex-girlfriend: |
| 7 | -->'''Max:''' Marjorie, it wasn't me kissing her, [[AlcoholInducedIdiocy it was the Jägermeister]]! |
| 8 | * When Jake lies to Allie about needing to be home by 6:00 "'Cause that's when dinner will be ready?", she grabs, yanks and rips his Santa hat off his head all in one fell swoop when it was so difficult for him to get it off himself. His yell in pain also totally sells it too. |
| 9 | * Before that, when Eddie's bragging about the mistletoe kiss he and Allie had, he's only wearing a towel having just got out of the shower and Jake rips it off. Eddie's private area is first hidden behind an orange juice pitcher and then he covers up using one of the stuffed animals to rush into the room to put his clothes on. |
| 10 | -->'''Eddie''': Foul! Fighting foul! |
| 11 | * Jake's reaction to being stuck in the desert, dressed in a Santa costume. While understandably upset, it's learning the hat has been glued on that pushes him over the edge. |
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