Line #9 Funny/WhatcultureWrestling


1	!!'''From Top 10 Lists'''
2	* ''10 Things WWE Wants You To Forget About Ric Flair''
3	--> ''"Ric Flair retired from professional wrestling in 2008 after his [[Tearjerker/RicFlair excellent retirement match]] against Wrestling/ShawnMichaels at [[Wrestling/WrestleMania WrestleMania XXIV]]. However, after years of living his gimmick as the jet flying, Rolex watch buying, tax avoiding, credit destroy...ed-ding..., h--yeah..."''
4	* ''15 Worst Physiques In WWE History'' (with Wrestling/{{Rikishi}} at no. 6)
5	--> ''"On his wrestling résumé, under skills, he just puts the word "ass"; [[ReadingTheStageDirectionsOutLoud in brackets, "all about that", close brackets.]]"''
6	* Speaking of physiques, ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_mzv0Nfv24 10 Times Vince [=McMahon=] Loved Big, Sweaty Men]]'' all because of [[LargeHam King Ross.]]
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8	* ''10 Wrestling Moves That Could Legit Kill You''
9	** The description of a piledriver causing a depressed skull fracture and brain herniation isn't very funny. The accompanying graphic of a cartoonish skull popping open to reveal the brain, which (via Adam) promptly says "Hello!" followed by "Goodbye, I'm dead!" in the most deadpan tone imaginable, on the other hand? [[BlackComedy Hilarious.]]
10	** Adam Blampied gives an accurate summation of Wrestling/{{Goldust}}'s [[GroinAttack Shattered Dreams]]:
11	---> ''"Now, let's make one thing very clear: the idea of someone taking a running punt at my [[UnusualEuphemism flobberdobbers]] makes me upset with a totality I find hard to express. This noise best sums it up: NYAAAAAWAYFROMMYTOTS."''
12	** And later, an equally-accurate summation of Wrestling/{{Yokozuna}}'s [[AssKicksYou Banzai Drop]]:
13	---> ''"Plus, of all the ways to die... a fat guy sitting on you. If that happens to me, lie to my mother and tell her I died doing something more dignified, like erotic asphyxiation."''
14	* Similarly, ''10 Wrestling Moves WWE Banned For Being Too Dangerous'':
15	** Adam Blampied discusses no. 8, the Curb Stomp.
16	---> ''"It was seen as, [[ReadingTheStageDirectionsOutLoud quotation marks, "too dangerous", quotation marks]], for the kids at home."''
17	** No. 5, the [[Wrestling/ManamiToyota Victory Star Drop]] [[note]]A top rope bodyscissors ''backflip'' into a back-to-back kneeling piledriver. If your first reaction to reading those words was a mental shriek of existential terror, then congratulations, you're both a wrestling fan and still sane.[[/note]] is accurately summarized by Adam as being "Next in the [[CensoredForComedy "F@!# You Necks!"]] World Tour,". Upon number 4 being shown (The Dragon Screw Neck Whip [[note]]Elevated DDT where the legs are suspended from the top rope and the performer twists the target's head around as they're brought down; this results in significant force being exerted on the head and neck[[/note]]) he promptly lets out this incredibly appropriate line:
18	---> ''[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Why do wrestlers hate necks?!]]''
19	* Adam Blampied's [[RhymesOnADime rhyming names]] for the WWE or WWE events, that usually namedrop Wrestling/VinceMcMahon.
20	** "Vince's House of Winces"
21	** "Vince [=McMahon=]'s Punchbox Lunch Box"
22	** "Vince [=McMahon=]'s Tan 'n Slam Caravan" or "Vince [=McMahon=]'s Grapple Van"
23	** "Sweaty Vincent's Muscled Contingent"
24	** "Vince's Company of Rugged Thuggery"
25	** "Vinnie Mac's Attack Shack"
26	** "Dr. Vinnie's Hussle and Tussle Kerfuffle"
27	** "Big Vincent's House of Incidents"
28	** "Vince's Thump 'n Bump Company"
29	** "Vince's Community of Violent Impunity"
30	** "Vince's Marketplace of Kicks to the Face"
31	** "Two for Wrestling/WrestleMania: "The Glittering Meat and Fireworks Circus", and "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment The Momentous 'Momentum of Moments' Moment]]"
32	* ''10 Things WWE Wants You To Forget About Kane''
33	--> ''"Wrestling/{{Kane}} (wearing a welding mask for some reason) tried to get John Cena to [[FaceHeelTurn turn bad]], which is like trying to [[ImpossibleTask get a boat to turn chocolate]]."''
34	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0_zOs98Hdg "10 Things WWE Wants You To Forget About The Rock"]]:
35	** Adam's disgusted reaction to an actual Brahma bull, calling it "a cow with a goiter".
36	** Adam discusses Wrestling/TheRock's gynecomastia surgery:
37	---> ''"The Rock having breast reduction surgery is not funny. It's not funny. Don't laugh. The Rock having breast reduction surgery is not funny. Stop laughing. It's not funny."''
38	* Any time Adam takes a shot at Wrestling/VinceMcMahon, most notably calling him "Madder than a Sex frog".
39	* Adam getting distracted by Wrestling/ShawnMichaels ''Playgirl'' photo until Bingley snaps him out of it.
40	* ''10 Most Protected Finishing Moves In WWE'': Adam talking about Wrestling/RandyOrton's punt kick.
41	--> ''"It put Wrestling/{{Batista}} [[PutOnABus on the shelf]], [[Wrestling/MickFoley Foley]], Wrestling/JohnCena's dad, titans of the industry, all of them, and it hurt Husky Harris so much, [[FromNobodyToNightmare he went mental and became]] Wrestling/BrayWyatt."''
42	* A brief but hilarious VisualPun in the introduction to [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRJJNpqmGjw "10 Things WWE Wants You To Forget About Bayley"]]- while Simon was describing how Bayley had been "dragged over the coals" by poor booking, a quick animation played of a giant hand pulling Bayley across a bed of hot coals, with the heads of Wrestling/MichaelCole and Wrestling/AdamCole sticking out of it.
43	* ''10 Shocking WWE Plans That Almost Happened'' features Adam's side-splitting summary of Wrestling/HulkHogan's WagTheDirector tendencies:
44	--> ''"Hulk Hogan is about as difficult to do business with as someone who doesn't speak your language, [[ShapedLikeItself doesn't want to do business with you]] and is dead."''
45	** From the same video, his description of Wrestling/VinceRusso:
46	---> ''"Vince Russo was a creative madman, like [[Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory Willy Wonka]] [[ToiletHumor but that wasn't chocolate in the factory]]. [[LampshadeHanging Poo joke!]]"''
47	** Adam mentions that Wade Barrett was considered to break Wrestling/TheUndertaker's Streak if his NXT heat kept building. The very next image is that of Wrestling/JohnCena advancing on the camera with a [[VisualPun shovel in his hand]] as a deadpan Adam comments "We all know what happened to ''that''."
48	* ''10 Best Tales From Wrestlers' Court'':
49	** When Adam mentions Wrestling/BobHolly going to the funfair:
50	--->'''Adam:''' "Because of course, [[SarcasmMode this is a face that says "Fun"]].\
51	''[Close-up on Holly's glaring face. The background shifts to a large fire, which Holly's eyes reflect.]''\
52	'''Adam:''' "Look at his "Fun" face."
53	** The infamous Divas Dodgeball is referenced with a pair of amusing visual gags: when discussing the male locker room's reaction to the match, Undertaker is shown with [[DeathGlare his usual ominous expression]] contrasted by [[PassThePopcorn the massive bucket of popcorn in his lap]]. When the female locker room are hauled into the eponymous KangarooCourt, Adam verbally double-takes upon hearing that Wrestling/ValVenis was the prosecutor, before dropping this gem:
54	---> ''(As a [[CastingCouch couch and video camera]] appear beside Venis)'' "This sounds like how one of his "Special Movies" starts."
55	** The visual representation of Wrestling/Goldberg's run with the WWE: [[TakeThat two cars crashing into one another with a very annoyed-looking Goldberg in one and the WWE logo on the other.]]
56	* ''10 Worst Botches In WWE History''
57	** On Wrestling/SidEudy's [[MemeticMutation issues with cutting promos]]:
58	---> "The words would leave his brain fine, but then they'd stop off for a few beers on the way to his mouth; [[AlcoholInducedIdiocy a few would turn into a lot, and then the words would die of alcohol poisoning]]. And that's a [[{{Narm}} Sid promo]].
59	** When discussing Hulk Hogan's [[EpicFail inability to jump more than an inch off the canvas]] when the Undertaker went for a chokeslam at ''Judgement Day'' 2002, Adam notes that it could be the result of [[RingOldies Hogan's age...]] or because gravity is ''not'' in fact a [[MemeticMutation Hulkamaniac]].
60	** Adam refers to Brock Lesnar's infamous botch of a Shooting Star Press at Wrestlemania as "[Lesnar] soaring through the sky with the grace of an eagle [[BlackComedy being snatched out of the sky by a screaming bear.]]"
61	* ''10 Things WWE Wants You To Forget About CM Punk''
62	** 'No. 8: His time with TNA' is a humorous look at the lengths WWE goes to ignore [[Wrestling/ImpactWrestling TNA]] in their programming.
63	---> "WWE [[PersonaNonGrata doesn't talk about TNA--ever!]] When a wrestler like [[Wrestling/RobVanDam RVD]] disappears for a bit to be on TNA, Vince is like, ''[='=]Oh, RVD? No idea. Where is he? He's probably...dead! Yeah, that's it! RVD stands for [[HashtagForLaughs [=#ReallyVeryDead=].]] Hey, [[Awesome/MoneyInTheBank RVD's back!]] Where've you been, RVD? DOESN'T MATTER. Oh, he's gone again, he's dead.[='=]''" [...] "WWE was happy to mention Wrestling/RingOfHonor [on the "Best in the World" DVD] but TNA? T-N-Noooo-way." (Shot of a [[LamePunReaction tumbleweed.]]) "[[PrecisionFStrike Bugger]] off."
64	*** When Blampied says "ever", it is [[VisualGag punctuated]] by a scene from an episode of ''WebVideo/TheEdgeAndChristianShow'' [[note]]https://www.wwe.com/videos/wwe-network-edge-and-christian-induct-aj-styles-into-the-mullet-club at 0:56[[/note]] which shows a TV screen displaying "The company that Wrestling/AJStyles wrestled for, between 2002-2014".
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67	!!'''From Adam's Pipebombs'''
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69	* Blampied's love affair with Toots Mondt is mentioned again in the [[https://youtu.be/eqx9eoEvuoo?list=PLnUzD-I9acZeo_FHX6hHBhBIfnTyzloA3&t=75 pipebomb about El Santo]].

Context Funny / WhatcultureWrestling