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1!!Administrivia/SpoilersOff applies to all Funny pages, so all spoilers are unmarked. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned!
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3* Alex Mercer being ''[[MuggingTheMonster mugged]]'' is hilarious enough, but Alex's reaction to it is even better.
4-->'''Alex''': [[ImAHumanitarian Thanks for bringing me takeout.]]
5* Alex trying to flush [[ItMakesSenseInContext the plasma weapon he ate down a toilet]], only to get confused when it clogs. He keeps pumping the handle until it breaks, sending [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes water]] everywhere. Cue Alex leaping to the ceiling like an angry, hissing cat.
6* Cain's opinion of the Followers? "They weren't trying to beat her up, extort her for caps, throw her in jail, or [[BreadEggsMilkSquick tie her up and shoot her over an unbelievably sketchy casino chip]], and that was more than she could say for [[CrapsackWorld pretty much everyone else in the desert]]."
7* "She had a sudden mental image of Alex Mercer sitting in a wooden crate, scowling like [[BuffySpeak some avatar of scowliness]], and saved that thought for later."
8* Arcade learning that Alex was the one who ripped down the Followers' gate.
9-->'''Arcade:''' Wait, that was ''you'' a few days ago? The gate was torn to ''pieces''!\
10'''Alex:''' [[BlatantLies No]].\
11It didn't sound convincing even to him.
12* [[OnlySaneMan Arcade]] in general, really, when playing off [[WildCard Cain]] and [[BloodKnight Alex's]] antics.
13-->'''Arcade:''' I am about to die.\
14'''Cain:''' Hey, look at it this way. If you die, we're going to die too, so it's not like you got off worse or anything.\
15'''Alex:''' I probably won't.\
16'''Cain:''' Alex, shh. We're supposed to be a team.\
17'''Arcade:''' You're insane. Both of you. Did it occur to you that [[ItMakesSenseInContext you're going to light this place up like a bonfire while we're still inside of it?]]
18* When the group reports to Hildern that he won't be getting his data, as they thoroughly incinerated the inside of the vault to clear out an infestation of plant zombies, he unsurprisingly isn't happy. When he starts berating Cain for her actions, she points out that it was actually Alex who did the destroying. Hildern looks over at him to deliver a scathing diatribe, immediately notices that Alex is ready to violently murder him if he says one wrong word, and quickly shifts his attention back to Cain.
19* Alex's FishOutOfWater status, when it isn't sad, often leads to moments like this, like wondering why people are so hell-bent on collecting bottlecaps or why ''anyone'' would be afraid of a golf club.
20* Cain once comments that you can hop up on Med-X, Jet, and stimpaks all at once, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial then backpedals into denials that she would ever do that when Arcade glares at her]].
21* Cain's reaction to learning that Alex's clothes are part of his biomass.
22-->'''Cain:''' So, what you're saying is, you've actually been walking around naked this whole time.
23** Then she starts thinking about other clothes he could shapeshift into that would make him look a little less scary. "Maybe a nice muted brown? Or something blue. Blue would bring out your eyes." Alex's reaction is to roll those eyes.
24** And later, when seeing that HeCleansUpNicely, she comments that it's a good look.
25--->'''Cain:''' Like, you normally look like you hate everything, but this is a little better.\
26'''Alex:''' Believe me when I say I hate everything just as much as I did a minute ago.\
27'''Cain:''' I never would have pegged you for wavy hair. Kind of curly, actually. You ever think of doing something with it?\
28'''Alex:''' Actually, I changed my mind. I hate everything more.
29* After days of hard work, danger, and running all over Freeside to collect 2000 bottlecaps to get into the Strip, Cain learns that Ralph sells visas into the Strip for only 500. It actually strikes [[MotorMouth her]] speechless with [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot how much time she wasted]].
30* Cain learns about Mr. House's sexbots.
31-->''Okay. Don't judge, Cain. Lots of people like weird...things. A bit more than regular people do. Or should. And if this guy's as old as I think he is, he probably wouldn't be able to get some any other way and ah fuck how am I supposed to look at him now.''
32* Alex's determination to never let Cain live down how she screwed up while confronting Benny. Cue him frequently bringing up how it would never have happened if he'd been there, and her exasperated responses that she ''knows'', can he just let it go already?!
33* Caesar's joke about having the PlayerCharacter killed can be a tense moment in the game. Here, it's BlackComedy of the highest order, because [[PersonOfMassDestruction Alex Mercer]] is standing right next to Cain and could easily kill everyone in the room without moving from where he's standing. Caesar and his mooks had no idea how close they came to death.
34* Arcade and Alex. Playing pool. It's a touch surreal and more than a little awkward as the two try to make amends and talk while playing pool. Double points for when Arcade startles Alex, who shoots the cue ball into the wall of the room, breaks the table, and snaps his cue in half, all in one accidental motion.
35* While infiltrating the White Glove Society, Alex gives Cain a JumpScare by spending a fair amount of time shapeshifted, then returning to his usual appearance while her back is turned.
36* After the business with the White Glove is wrapped up, Cain and Arcade decide to get absolutely wasted. [[NoodleIncident What occurred is off-screen, but what is implied sounds absolutely hilarious.]]
37-->'''Arcade:''' Were we all...hugging?\
38'''[[HatesBeingTouched Alex]]:''' Yes. Don't ever do that again.
39* Cain's FlatWhat when she walks back into the King's School to find Alex in the middle of a NeckLift interrogation of Pacer, when she had specifically told him to be subtle.
40* Alex constantly finds new ways to upset Arcade's scientific knowledge. Trying to work out how Alex can run a hundred and twenty miles per hour visibly breaks his mind, and upon seeing him running straight up a wall, Arcade can only whimper "b-but...''physics''."
41* Meeting God makes Cain think that Alex is practically a gentleman in comparison.
42* Cain is not amused to learn the [[MeaningfulName meaning]] behind her [[ThatManIsDead current]] name, which she picked out entirely because [[RuleOfCool it sounded cool]].
43-->'''Cain:''' Wait...oh, come the fuck ''on''. You mean I've been introducing myself as Murderface [=McFractricide=] to everyone I meet?\
44'''Alex:''' Yeah, I guess.\
45[[ActuallyPrettyFunny He'd thought it was kind of funny.]]
46* Alex tries to eat one of the Ghost People. The result is pure NightmareFuel, but afterwards he starts kicking himself for [[IdiotBall being stupid enough to try]], despite knowing the Ghost People had bright green blood and "precisely ''nothing'' with that color had meant anything good for him, by the Mojave's standards." A few moments later he says it felt like consuming explosives, and [[NoodleIncident yes he has personal experience]], thinking "At least ''those'' had only gone off once."
47* With the heist into the Madre ready to get underway, Elijah orders the group to split up and do their jobs, with Alex's being that he has to bodyguard them. Cain points out the little problem [[LogicBomb that Alex can't be in four places at once]]. "At least, she didn't think so. He might surprise her."
48** It's also pretty funny that, for such a ControlFreak, Elijah overlooked that little detail. There's even a {{Beat}} before he clumsily tries to save face.
49* Dean Domino tries to buy off [[UndyingLoyalty Alex]]. It goes about as well as you'd expect.
50-->'''Dean:''' Straight to the point, eh? I like that in a partner. I'm thinking...a contract, you could say. A little protection detail, a change of handlers. Oh, you can still do lookout for your eye candy, I'm not interested in her – but when it comes down to the wire, let money do the talking, yeah?\
51'''Alex:''' Fuck off.\
52'''Dean:''' ''[[FlatWhat What]]'' did you say?
53* When Alex tells Cain about the above moment, he adds that Dean is still around, if she wants to shoot him. For a moment she's absolutely stumped whether he's being serious or [[BlackHumor actually trying to crack a joke]].
54** Also, when Cain asks how trying to buy Alex off worked out for Dean, he responds "[[ImpliedDeathThreat about as well as you'd expect]]." [[{{Beat}} There's a heavy pause where that sinks in]], before Alex hastily amends that [[ThatCameOutWrong he's still alive.]]
55** Following that, Cain takes a dip into BlackHumor herself:
56--->"I can tell. Since, y'know. Head intact."
57* Cain muses that putting the Super Mutant Dog / God in charge of flipping a giant lever is one of the few sensible things Elijah's done so far.
58-->When life gave you guys with super strength, you used them for the heavy lifting. Vault doors, rusty levers, really stuck jar lids. That was only logical, right?

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