Line #65 Fanfic/HarryPotterBecomesACommunist


1	[[quoteright:300:[[https://moorzilka.deviantart.com/art/Harry-Potter-becomes-a-communist-452805468 https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/harry_potter_becomes_a_communist__by_moorzilka_d7hl6xo.jpg]]]]
2
3	''Harry Potter Becomes a Communist'' by [=HardcoreCommie=] is a ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' CrackFic which is generally regarded as SoBadItsGood. It ran for 191 chapters, posted on Website/FanFictionDotNet from 2013 to 2017. The final chapter was posted on November 7, 2017 -- [[MeaningfulReleaseDate the centennial of]] UsefulNotes/RedOctober, naturally.
4
5	The story opens with Harry meeting up with Ron and Hermione on the Hogwarts Express, and explaining how he converted to communism over the summer. Upon arriving at Hogwarts, they discover that Dumbledore, a libertarian, has sold out to the bourgeoisie and hired an evil capitalist named Professor Pepsi for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post. As a petit-bourgeois liberal, Hermione thinks this is just fine, but Harry begins organizing his classmates for revolution. Most of the rest of the plot can be summed up as Harry and his allies fighting against various "bourgeois" enemies while vaguely working towards their apparent eventual goal of freeing Hogwarts from Dumbledore and Pepsi's regime.
6
7	Read it [[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9655837/1/Harry-Potter-Becomes-A-Communist here]]. There's also [[https://ficbook.net/readfic/7636904 a version translated into Russian]].
8
9	----
10	!!''Harry Potter Becomes a Communist'' provides examples of:
11
12	* AdamAndEvePlot: [[spoiler:Hermione suggests that she and Harry repopulate Hogwarts after the school and almost everyone in it is destroyed by Obscurials.]]
13	* AdaptationPersonalityChange: Everyone is way more political here compared to the books, among other changes.
14	* AnatomicallyImpossibleSex: Of course. Most notably, at one point the author says "clit" when he clearly means "vagina". In the next author's note, he excuses himself by saying, "it doesnt matter if i make mistaks about female anatomy becuz I support abortion anyway."
15	* AntiAdvice: Uncle Vernon's opposition to communism was Harry's inspiration for reading ''The Communist Manifesto'' in the first place.
16	* AuthorTract: The entire fic could be considered one about the merits of communism and the faults of various other political ideologies. If it’s a trollfic, then the opposite may be true.
17	* AxCrazy: Harry and his allies kill many of their fellow students [[spoiler:and eventually destroy Hogwarts itself and everyone in it]].
18	* BackFromTheDead: [[spoiler:Sirius Black]].
19	--> “[[spoiler:Sirius]]!” I said in a radical working man’s voice. “I thought you were killed by [[spoiler:drapery]]!”
20	-->“I came back BECAUSE I FUCKING FELT LIKE IT!” [[spoiler:Sirius]] explained. “Any questions?”
21	* BeautyEqualsGoodness: Harry's female supporters are all sexy while his female opponents are all ugly. His narration repeatedly insists that it just happened to work out this way.
22	* BigBadDuumvirate: Dumbledore and Professor Pepsi are the principal targets of Harry's revolution and the most explicitly capilatist characters in the fic.
23	* BigBadWannabe: Voldemort's role in the story is rather small and more of an after-thought, compared to the threat of Dumbledore and Pepsi.
24	* BiggerIsBetterInBed: When Harry ends up naked:
25	-->I wasn't aroused either, although you might have thought I was based on my penis. However, I didn't have an erection at all and was just that big normally.
26	* BlackAndWhiteInsanity: Harry is uncompromising in his belief that anyone who isn't a Leninist/Stalinist deserves to die in pain.
27	--> "False consciousness is when people think communism is bad. Since communism is good, it means they're obviously insane."
28	* ChickMagnet: Most of the girls in Hogwarts are attracted to Harry, and he himself has sex with several women over the course of the story.
29	* ClusterFBomb: Harry's dialogue especially, but ultimately the whole story.
30	* CultOfPersonality: Even as the Warsaw Pact grows more and more admiring of Harry, he denies forming one.
31	* CrossOver: Features brief crossovers with ''FanFic/HarryPotterAndTheMethodsOfRationality'', ''FanFic/MyImmortal'', and ''Fanfic/TheDracoTrilogy'', consisting of appearances by rationalist!Quirrell, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, and Rhysenn Malfoy respectively.
32	* CruelAndUnusualDeath: A disturbingly sizable number. Examples include [[spoiler: Professor [=McGonagall=] being [[KillItWithFire incinerated]] in midair, Draco Malfoy being strangled with his shirt till [[YourHeadASplode his head explodes]] and Voldemort ending up [[AssShove sodomized]] [[OutWithABang to death]] by the Big Fucking Broomstick.]]
33	* DramaticReading: Several: [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=puTsy7ncU2M here is one]], and [[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G_Eqoa2zbpE this one]] is even plugged by the author.
34	* DoubleStandardRapeFemaleOnMale: [[spoiler: Anthony Goldstein, who is framed as a misogynistic, horny creep, [[YourSoulIsMine gets his soul slowly sucked out]] during intercourse with Rhysenn Malfoy. Harry immediately commands him to stop "raping" her (although it's the other way around), and when Anthony is powerless to get her off of him, Harry responds by killing him and turning his body into an avocado.]]
35	* EnemyMine: Twice. First, Harry allies with the Death Eaters to fight against Dumbledore. Then, after the Death Eaters betray Harry and take over Hogwarts, Harry allies with Dumbledore and Pepsi to fight the Death Eaters.
36	* EverybodysDeadDave: [[spoiler:Everyone (except for Harry and Hermione) dies in the final chapter. Hermione doesn’t live much longer after that.]]
37	* EvilAllAlong: [[spoiler:Draco Malfoy, Voldemort]], and [[spoiler:Bellatrix Lestrange]]. [[spoiler:All of them were only pretending and quickly pull {{Face Heel Turn}}s]].
38	* FaceHeelTurn: Happens to many characters, including [[spoiler:Hermione Granger, Romilda Vane, Draco Malfoy, Alastor Moody, Dean Thomas, Bellatrix Lestrange]], and [[spoiler:Ron Weasley]].
39	* FanDisservice: Every time someone opposite of Harry strips naked, it is treated as this, but the main examples would be [[BrawnHilda Hildegard]], [[BrainBleach Dumbledore and Umbridge.]]
40	* GoingCommando: Many members of the Warsaw Pact, especially (but not exclusively) the girls, have little to no clothes, but Harry insists that he's not at all objectifying them when he describes their nudity in excessive detail.
41	* {{Hypocrite}}: Professor Pepsi apparently is one for being the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher despite following capitalism, the “darkest art of all.”
42	** Harry himself is guilty of this, saying how oppressive and reactionary all his opponents are, never mind the fact that he maimed 19 of his classmates for being "counter-revolutionaries", and killed everyone he deemed a threat or a traitor including [[spoiler: Dean, Romilda, Sirius, Ron and Hermione.]]
43	** According to Harry, it's only propaganda when The Enemy does it - what he does is "spread the revolution".
44	** The author also qualifies, fully admitting to purchasing Che Guevara T-Shirts by taking advantage of a Black Friday deal, despite constantly criticizing those who engage in capitalist driven consumerism.
45	* IDoNotOwn: "I dont own HP. JKR does butt it should be owed by the stat cuz privacy property is evil lol. Workers of the world urinite! If you flam you have false consciousness."
46	* InformedAttribute: Professor [=McGonagall=] is repeatedly called a racist despite almost never expressing any explicit prejudice toward people because of their race. She even screens an Indian film in class, though to Harry this is just further proof of her racism as it means she is appropriating Indian culture.
47	* InsistentTerminology: The broom that Harry and Tonks steal from Hildegard's office is always called Big [[PrecisionFStrike Fucking]] Broomstick.
48	* KilledOffscreen: [[spoiler:Angelina Johnson, Lee Jordan, and Parvati Patil. In the end, the last surviving characters, including Harry's harem and Professor Pepsi, are destroyed by the Obscurials.]]
49	* MaliciousSlander: According to the author, [[UsefulNotes/JosefStalin Josef Stalin]] himself is a victim of this.
50	--> I must disagree with u about Stalin. He never killed any1. Have you read “Khrushchev Lied” by Grover Furr?
51	* ANaziByAnyOtherName: The Death Eaters are even more obvious about it than in the Canon, being constantly identified as Alt-right fascists and intending to destroy the "Mudblood Occupation Government" to stop the interbreeding of muggles and wizards.
52	* NotDistractedByTheSexy: Almost constantly on the part of Harry.
53	-->Several arousing females with sensual bodies of feminine shapes were staring at my manly chest of comradely hair, but I didn’t pay any attention to that because the revolution was more important.
54	* NotSoDifferentRemark: Quirrel points out that Harry attempting to force the spiders' culture to conform to his communist ideals is no different than Quirrel's own WhiteMansBurden attitude towards the centaurs. Harry ignores this.
55	--> ''"Oh, is that all?" laughed Quirrel sardonically in a sardonic voice. "I think you're just as much of a white savior as I am."''
56	* NWordPrivileges: The author claims to have these with regards to UsefulNotes/BarackObama. ("Et waz not racist when I called Obama a nigger. Barock Obongo betrayed the black proletariate to work for the FUCKING WHITE CAPITALISTS. Even tho im not black, I can see he truly is a real uncle tom nigger.")
57	* ObligatorySwearing: When even characters like Hermione and Professor [=McGonagall=] are dropping the occasional F-bomb, you know this trope is in effect.
58	* PoesLaw: Even with 191 chapters, it's notoriously difficult to determine whether the author is pro-communist or anti-communist in RealLife.
59	* {{Revenge}}: Harry vows not to wear a shirt until he has avenged [[spoiler:Tonks’ death]].
60	* RougeAnglesOfSatin: Averted in the text proper, but in author's notes this is very prevalent.
61	* RuleAbidingRebel: According to the story, anyone on the left who doesn't support Marxist-Leninist ideology.
62	* SirSwearsalot: In the first few chapters Harry is the only one who swears in pretty much every sentence. After a certain point basically every character starts dropping the F-Bomb at least once per line.
63	* StrawMisogynist: Alastor Moody is made into an exaggerated "red-pilled" HeManWomanHater who introduces himself by [[spoiler: killing Tonks ForTheEvulz]].
64	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: One of the most persistent RunningGags of the fic is that Harry constantly emphasizes how hot his often naked female supporters are, then immediately points out that he only sees them as part of the proletariat and not as sex objects.
65	* TakeThat: [[FanFic/HarryPotterAndTheMethodsOfRationality Rationalist Quirrell]], [[FanFic/MyImmortal Ebony,]] and [[FanFic/TheDracoTrilogy Rhysenn Malfoy]] are presented as antagonists to Harry's revolution, two of which are killed by Harry himself.
66	* TearsOfBlood: Ebony Way, as per usual. [[spoiler: Only this time she dies from blood loss as a result.]]
67	* TheWarOnStraw: Just about any political ideology you can think of is reduced to a cartoonish over the top caricature of its real life iteration.
68	* TrollFic: [[PoesLaw As usual, we're not entirely sure]], but those familiar with far-left politics tend to think so, citing such things as the author's reference to [[https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Stalin_apologetics#Grover_Furr Grover Furr]] as evidence of trolling.
69	* VillainProtagonist: Harry is obsessed with ideological purity and will violently murder anyone who stands in his way, even those who simply have a different position than him.
70	* WeAREStrugglingTogether: Harry's two main enemies on the left are Romilda Vane (an anarchist) and Dean Thomas (a Trotskyite). Both are portrayed as tools of the bourgeoisie.

Context Fanfic / HarryPotterBecomesACommunist