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1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/calliopes_update_girl_cover.png]]˛[[caption-width-right:350:No, the second fic is ''not'' "Calliope's Update Girl - Book Two".]]˛˛->The life of a Webcomic/{{Homestuck}} character, within the bounds of Homestuck, is hard. The life of a Homestuck character, taken entirely outside of the context of Homestuck and placed in a universe where Homestuck exists, is somehow even harder. It doesn't help that, whenever you go anywhere, people are always insisting you are a roleplayer and/or a cosplayer, but yet, somehow things become even worse when a madman, one who calls himself Creator/AndrewHussie, makes you read about the adventures you never had.˛˛->Little do you know, though, that you're literally entering an epic of space and time, of joy and sorrow, of hilarity and sobriety, and that it'll change your lives. Is it for the better? Is it for the worse? You will have to decide for yourselves.˛˛...Yup, [[FanFic/PortalThe4thMillenniumFranchise yet another]] [[FanFic/ITSMYLIFEExpandedUniverse shared universe]] by [=ASBusinessMagnet=]. What else is new?˛˛Calliope and Caliborn are your average InnocentAliens who are pretty much hospitalized on Earth. Lately, however, people keep referring to them as "{{cosplay}}ers" of "Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}". The weird goes up when four close friends move into the same town as them, and are identified as more "cosplayers", and the six immediately get the attention of Creator/AndrewHussie, who formally introduces them to ''Homestuck''...˛˛Described by the author as "an open love letter to the ''Homestuck'' fandom", ''Calliope's Update Girl'' featured a rather impressive scope of topics, ranging from Andrew Hussie's daily life to the interaction between him and the fandom, as well as the characters, and the prospect of both the characters encountering ''Homestuck'' and the fandom encountering the characters. It also has spawned a series of related fanfics that, even though they're not quite in the same universe, share themes.˛˛This series includes:˛˛* ''Calliope's Update Girl - Book One'' ([[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10726027/1/ FF.Net]], [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/2382974/chapters/5264753 AO3]]), the first fic, which follows the premise in the most straightforward way. Roughly half of its text comes from UsefulNotes/NaNoWriMo [[http://nanowrimo.org/participants/asbusinessmagnet/novels/calliope-s-update-girl-book-one 2014]]. It has been released as an e-book with at least an author's note on every page; [[http://calliopes-update-girl.tumblr.com/post/152279155311/calliopes-update-girl-book-one-post-retcon the download links are here.]]˛* ''The Homestuck Character Support Group (Volume 2)'' ([[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10862873/1/ FF.Net]], [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/2703128/chapters/6049556 AO3]]), the second fic. The characters have largely abandoned the goal of reading ''Homestuck'', as Her Imperious Condescension and company are planning to do ''something''.˛* ''Calliope and the Final Update'' ([[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10078433/1/ FF.Net]], [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/1173063/chapters/2389401 AO3]]), to which ''Calliope's Update Girl'' is a SpiritualSuccessor. Here, Hussie organizes a CharlieAndTheChocolateParody tour to read all of ''Homestuck'' after the infamous "[[SeriesHiatus Gigapause]]".˛* ''Inception of a Masterpiece'' ([[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10723573/1/ FF.Net]], [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/2637977/chapters/5888429 AO3]]), another SpiritualSuccessor to ''Calliope and the Final Update''. Hussie is looking to continue his webcomic career after ''Webcomic/ProblemSleuth'' when he is messaged by a 12 year old fan on a chat client that no one uses.˛* ''The Trials and Tribulations of Homestuck'' ([[http://archiveofourown.org/works/6554764 AO3 only]]), a spinoff told in the MSPA style, intended to focus on the production history of ''Homestuck'' and the lives surrounding it, using MSPA Reader and Sans from ''VideoGame/{{Undertale}}'' as the main characters.˛* ''Calliope's Update Girl - Unreleased Stuff'' ([[http://archiveofourown.org/works/12491636 AO3 only]]), which announces ''Update Girl'' as a DeadFic and showcases the many WhatCouldHaveBeen[=s=] and work-in-progress chapters (up to and including ''a whole game'' based on the verse) related to it.˛* An in-universe blog, run (mainly) by Rose Lalonde. The same blog was also used by [=ASBusinessMagnet=] in our world to talk about ''Calliope's Update Girl'' and announce updates. However, it was eventually deleted by the author, with some writing being rescued in the form of ''Calliope's Update Girl - Musings from the Tumblr Blog'' ([[https://archiveofourown.org/works/19224247 AO3 only]]).˛˛----˛!!Tropes:˛˛* AndImTheQueenOfSheba - Two different statements of this kind:˛** "If that's Calliope, then I'm Her Imperious Condescension." - commenting to Calliope that YourCostumeNeedsWork. The line, interestingly enough, is picked up [[BrickJoke stages later]] by the characters and discussed once it turns out that the Condesce is really out there.˛** "Yeah, and I'm Creator/AnnaSophiaRobb" - by [=ASBusinessMagnet=], once he first meets the ''Homestuck'' characters and doesn't believe them. They, of course, think that's really [=AnnaSophia=].˛* ArgumentOfContradictions - Known as "the Equius way of settling arguments" in-universe (due to its use in ''Homestuck''), Karkat attempts to be GenreSavvy about it and cut Equius off after a single "D --> No", but ends up doing it anyway. Hussie and Eridan also partake in this.˛* CharacterBlog - Rose begins one for her "support group". [[http://calliopes-update-girl.tumblr.com/tagged/ic Here are all the in-character posts.]]˛* CharlieAndTheChocolateParody - The original idea for the story, ''Calliope and the Update Factory'', was to be this. Though later fics moved away from the premise, and by the fifth (apparently) story idea there are little to no ''Chocolate Factory'' elements left.˛-->In it, Hussie's role would have been exagerrated ''[sic]'' to feature an "Update Factory" where Homestuck is produced... and you can already see where this is going. John falls down into a river of cake, Rose becomes a "grimberry", Jade is teleported to a landfill by Bec and Dave is shrunk via spacebending powers, etc.˛** One of the last remnants of the parody is the title itself: "Charlie's Chocolate Boy" was the name of an early draft for ''Chocolate Factory'', and "Čarlis šokolado rojuje" (Charlie in the Chocolate Heaven) was the name of an early Lithuanian translation.˛* CreatorProvincialism - All the trolls reside somewhere in the United States, while the kids (plus Calliope and Caliborn) have all moved in much closer together to Easthampton, Massachusetts, where Andrew Hussie lives in RealLife. It is easy to forget that the author of ''Calliope's Update Girl'' is actually from Lithuania.˛** The ''fans'' of ''Homestuck'' (and, by extension, ''Calliope on the Update Gravestone''), on the other hand, come from all over.˛--->'''Andrew Hussie:''' Homestuck is more popular than you think. People would still find out [if we were in a foreign country].˛* DeweyDefeatsTruman - It seems that [=ASBusinessMagnet=]'s favorite pastime is writing something TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture, and then getting it wrong. From the author's notes:˛-->My prediction for the future: You will be able to say "Webcomic/{{Jailbreak}}" without anyone thinking that you're talking about [[Recap/StevenUniverseS1E49JailBreak the Steven Universe episode]].˛˛-->Prediction status: X[[note]]The chapter was written in October 2014. It is set in April [[{{Retcon}} 2017]]. ''Jailbreak'' (the episode) premiered in March 2015.[[/note]]˛** Among other things, [=ASBusinessMagnet=] didn't foresee ''herself coming out as {{Transgender}}''.˛** A {{retcon}} has been announced, which is a consequence of another DeweyDefeatsTruman event: as Homestuck is actually ending on April 13, 2016, the setting of the story has been pushed one year forward to 2017.˛* DifferentWorldDifferentMovies - This fic's counterpart in the fic itself is ''Calliope on the Update Gravestone'', apparently set in an universe where ''Homestuck'' never gained popularity.˛* DistantPrologue - The first chapter doesn't have a specified date, but deals with the main characters' backstory. The second chapter is set in the summer of 2012, and only from the third chapter on the plot moves on to [[{{Retcon}} 2017]].˛** There is no ''indication'' that we're in [[{{Retcon}} 2017]], though, until the very last chapter of Stage 1. It was a deliberate choice, used to invoke a distinct "when ''Homestuck'' is done" future, until [=ASBusinessMagnet=] realized that it wouldn't work.˛* EldritchAbomination - It isn't particularly clear what Andrew Hussie is, but he's obviously not ''human''.˛** For the sake of posterity: he has space-manipulating powers allowing him to create additional floors to houses, make [[TrademarkFavoriteFood arrow candies]] that are glued with air and never run out, spies on private conversations (altough, the ability isn't unique to him) and apparently built the Frog Temple all by himself, also implying that he [[TimeAbyss really is at least 413 million years old]]. [[note]]By comparison, Her Imperious Condescension, the second oldest character, has been an empress for "only" 413,612 solar sweeps, or ca. 900,000 years.[[/note]] That, and there's hinting that he's the cancer that Karkat gave to the universe. [[note]]Well, part of it; the other part is apparently our ''own'' [[SelfInsert ASBusinessMagnet]].[[/note]]˛*** If you count ''Calliope and the Final Update'', he can also move houses to the middle of the ocean, and [[SuperCellReception still have network connectivity there]]. Not to mention ''[[MonumentalDamage uproot the Statue of Liberty]]''.˛*** The only thing he ''can't'' do, apparently, is make himself think faster, or else ''Homestuck'' would have been completed much earlier.˛** Oh, and it turns out [[spoiler:"Andrew Hussie" is actually not the name of whatever entity this is, but rather just a name it began claiming as its own (despite also, via DemonicPossession, also being Creator/RandallMunroe and, in the past, Creator/RoaldDahl)]].˛* FanDumb - The ''Homestuck'' fandom, at times. Most notably, they insist that ''Homestuck'' is all about the trolls, and even infect the actual characters with the thought. [[invoked]]˛-->Even when a cherub cosplayer is right in front of this guy, he still thinks that the trolls are more memorable, to the point where he thinks that the cherubim aren’t even worth mentioning.˛* {{Foreshadowing}} - [=ASBusinessMagnet=] either loves this trope, or otherwise only uses the fic itself as inspiration. If you look carefully (or read the comments for Book One), there's foreshadowing for [[spoiler:Andrew Hussie and Randall Munroe being the same "person" in the second fic, ''in chapter two of the first fic'']].˛* GodwinsLaw - Hussie, the Condesce and Karkat are all, at some point, compared to Hitler.˛-->Wasn't there a Godwin's Law which posited that whoever mentions Hitler or the Nazis first loses the argument?˛** This doesn't even mention that [=ASBusinessMagnet=] used to make WebVideo/HitlerRants parodies sometime prior to the events of ''Calliope's Update Girl''.˛* InterchangeableAsianCultures - [=MeAndMyReflection=] is from Indonesia, while davespritenotdave is from the Philippines. Nevertheless, Dave is convinced that they both are Japanese.˛* NoNameGiven - None of the ''Homestuck'' fans in Easthampton and vicinity (other than other webcomic artists, such as [[Webcomic/{{Overcompensating}} Jeffrey Rowland]]) are ever identified.˛* RealDreamsAreWeirder - Calliope's dream between April 14 and 15, [[http://calliopes-update-girl.tumblr.com/post/116628692128/in-case-anyone-asks-if-calliopes-update-girl-will posted as a chapter separate from the fics]], outright switches to the style of writing of [[Creator/SueMary MarissaTheWriter]] to emphasize how weird it is.˛* RougeAnglesOfSatin - Non-native English speakers, such as [=MeAndMyReflection=] and davespritenotdave, speak in broken English. Regular [=ASBusinessMagnet=] is rather impartial towards that, but Crockertier [=ASBusinessMagnet=] instantly gives them a hard time, especially when they misspell the name of Her Imperious Condescension, his superior.˛* ShouldntWeBeInSchoolRightNow - Neither John nor Dave got into college, and Rose finished her second year early. Jade, as an island native, has been largely homeschooled by her grandpa. Calliope and Caliborn used to go to school, but don't have the need for higher education, as both are supported by commissions that Calliope does.˛** It is heavily implied, though, that Karkat is actually skipping school to meet up with Hussie. It is also humorously implied that despite his age, [[HeldBackInSchool he is actually in the eighth grade]].˛* SignificantMonogram - The suspect who shot Rose's mother in 1998 is only known as "L. E.", as an allusion to Lord English.˛** The Dave roleplayer whom John messages in 2010 only refers to themself as "SH", a reversal of "HS" (Homestuck).˛* SpiritualSuccessor - Besides ''Calliope's Update Girl'' and ''Inception of a Masterpiece'', ''Calliope and the Final Update'' has also spawned ''Caliborn's Stories'', a series in which Caliborn comments on everything from ''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'' to ''Film/BackToTheFuture'' to ''VideoGame/KerbalSpaceProgram'' to ''WesternAnimation/InsideOut'', in the familiar Homosuck style.˛* TrademarkFavoriteFood - Arrow candies, for the Homestuck read at Hussie's home. He even advertises them as if they were merchandise:˛-->Self-replenishing Homestuck arrow candy. Should be keeping you good for all the time when you'll be reading Homestuck, and all the time after that. [...] Also come in green, red and purple. Guaranteed to be a hit when I release them. Though, I do not guarantee they will self-replenish in your home.˛* TropaholicsAnonymous - Thoroughly averted with the Homestuck Character Support Group, which is nothing like an actual support group in the traditional sense. Or a group which is supposed to read ''Homestuck''. Or a group, for that matter. Mostly, it's just a girl with a blog.˛* TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture - The only noticeable difference between the present and the future is that ''Homestuck'' is done. They even discuss years-old memes.˛** Parodied with Future Karkat Vantas, a whopping ''hour'' into the future. This is what he has to say on the future:˛--->FCG: BASICALLY, [it is] DYSTOPIAN.˛--->FCG: THERE WAS A METEOR STRIKE FIFTY MINUTES AGO.˛--->FCG: THAT IS TO SAY, THERE WILL BE ONE TEN MINUTES FROM NOW.˛--->FCG: NOW THE WORLD IS IN CHAOS.˛--->FCG: FOREST FIRES ARE EVERYWHERE, AND PEOPLE ARE ALREADY DYING FROM SMOKE.˛--->FCG: BECAUSE THE METEOR STRUCK A POWER PLANT, ELECTRICITY AND TELECOMMUNICATIONS IS SEVERED EVERYWHERE.˛--->FCG: THE GOVERNMENTS OF THE WORLD HAVE ALREADY COLLAPSED.˛--->FCG: MAFIA GANGS ARE GATHERING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW AS I'M WRITING THIS.˛* TyopOnTheCover - All the ''Homestuck'' characters' chumhandles are not what they are in canon, though for varying reasons:˛** The beta kids vary between different chumhandles (though, Rose prefers to just add numbers to hers), ostensibly because those keep getting taken by different people.˛** The trolls each have their own misspelling, which they stick to consistently; as Kanaya has figured out, a roleplayer with a particular misspelling will stick to it, and therefore there's no need to constantly switch around.˛** Calliope and Caliborn have come up with entirely distinct chumhandles fitting the UU pattern.˛** Then there's [=MeAndMyReflection=], who misspells her chumhandle because she is not a native English speaker.˛* UnusualChapterNumbers - One of [=ASBusinessMagnet=]'s favorite tropes. The chapters of ''Calliope's Update Girl'' and, after some rearranging, ''The Homestuck Character Support Group (Volume 2)'' are grouped to "stages" with 14 chapters each, and the chapter number is typically given as "stage.chapter", with two exceptions: Loading Screens 1 and 2 (Loading Screen 1 is in ''Calliope's Update Girl'', between Stages 2 and 3, and Loading Screen 2 is at the beginning of ''The Homestuck Character Support Group (Volume 2)''), for which the Roman numerals are used, and Stage 3, which only has 7 chapters.˛-->Of course, if I establish a pattern, I must break it at some point.

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