1 | A drinking game for Facebook. Go ahead and take a shot whenever: |
2 | |
3 | * You see a meme. |
4 | * Someone shares a screenshot from Reddit or Twitter. |
5 | * You get hacked. |
6 | ** Take another sip if the hack is on the news. |
7 | * Facebook asks you to download Messenger, or asks if you want to open the page in the Facebook app. |
8 | * Facebook disables another small feature on the browser version of the site in order to gradually force you to get the app. |
9 | * Someone rants. (Warning: may cause cirrosis of the liver!) |
10 | * Someone posts a picture of a cute animal. |
11 | * You see an ad for something you were just talking to someone about, or something you just purchased at the store, because Facebook is spying on you. |
12 | * You get a targeted ad for something you would never buy. |
13 | * You like one page about a topic, and Facebook assumes you’re absolutely obsessed with the topic and suggests fifty more pages like it. |
14 | * Someone shares an untrue news article. |
15 | * Someone shares an article from a parody news website, thinking it is true. |
16 | * Someone reacts to a shared article after only reading the headline and not the whole article. |
17 | * Someone shares a Kelly comic from Website/TheOnion and it either outrages someone on the left or someone on the right agrees with it, neither realizing it’s a satire. |
18 | * You share an opinion that offends a distant family member you rarely speak to. |
19 | * You find out a distant relative has extreme political views that horrify or disappoint you. |
20 | * You have to snooze a relative because you're tired of seeing the irritating posts and memes they share, but you don't want to cause drama by unfriending them or blocking them. |
21 | * You see UsefulNotes/MisplacedNationalism. |
22 | * You post a comment anywhere and a random stranger feels the need to correct or contradict you. |
23 | ** Two drinks if the person either has an anime character or Donald Trump as their profile picture. |
24 | * Someone links to a tag group instead of presenting a counter argument. |
25 | * Someone uses a laugh reaction instead of presenting a counter argument. |
26 | * Someone uses the laugh reaction on a serious post just to troll. |
27 | * Someone shares a fundraiser or petition. |
28 | ** Take two sips if that fundraiser or petition has far more likes and reactions than donations/signatures. |
29 | * Someone makes a controversial comment that ends up with dozens of replies in a flame war. |
30 | * An administrator has to disable comments because of flame wars. |
31 | * A group gets taken down for frivolous reasons that are anybody’s guess. |
32 | * You get “zucc’d”, or go to Facebook jail. |
33 | * One of your favorite bands announces they are touring, and someone in the comments begs for the tour to come to a town (or country) not on the tour. |
34 | * Someone shares one of those copy-and-paste "50 questions about me" lists that must have been passed around since the days of Website/MySpace. |
35 | * Someone posts something political or religious in a Facebook group that has nothing to do with politics or religion. |
36 | * A bot trying to sell t-shirts or other useless products infiltrates a fan group. |
37 | * Someone posts a picture of Jesus, a police officer or a veteran with a caption saying "I bet 98% of you won't share this" or something along those lines. |
38 | ** Two drinks when it's a parody of one of these posts done by someone on the political left. |
39 | * Someone uses the phrase "thoughts and prayers" or “amen”. |
40 | * Drink whenever you accidentally like an old post while stalking someone's profile. |
41 | * Your elderly relative shares a badly drawn comic or meme complaining about how kids are on their phones all the time and don’t read books, drink water from a hose, recklessly ride bicycles without helmets, or write in cursive. |
42 | * You have to stop doom-scrolling and go do something else because dwelling on the sorry, dystopian state of the world is starting to affect your mental health. |
43 | * Someone is spreading conspiracy theories. |
44 | * A post with misinformation (or since 2020, any mention of COVID-19) triggers a fact checker. |
45 | * A Facebook memory reminds you of something that bums you out for the rest of the day, like an old ex, a deceased relative, or seeing how much younger you looked ten years ago. |
46 | * Someone asks the original poster to make their post “shareable” from a private group, which isn’t possible. |
47 | * Special Facebook Marketplace round. Drink whenever: |
48 | ** Someone asks if whatever you’re selling really is that price, when the price is right there in the post. |
49 | ** Someone tries to low-ball you and offer much less than the price you’re selling it for. |
50 | ** Your product languishes unknown for days or weeks. |
51 | *** If someone finally does notice it after that long of a wait, suddenly twenty other people want the product too. |
52 | ** Someone ghosts you. |
53 | *** Two drinks if you lower the price and suddenly the person reappears out of the blue after ignoring you for days. |
54 | ** Someone says they’re going to come pick something up from you and then never shows up. |
55 | ** You end up having to block someone. |
56 | ** Someone you’re trying to buy from sells the product to someone else who got there faster than you. |
57 | ** A bot tries to talk you into giving out your phone number so it can be sold to telemarketers. |
58 | ** Your post is taken down for violating Facebook’s vague and never adequately explained community standards, even if the product you’re selling is completely innocuous. |
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