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Drinking Game / Facebook

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A drinking game for Facebook. Go ahead and take a shot whenever:

  • You see a meme.
  • You get hacked.
    • Take another sip if the hack is on the news.
  • Facebook asks you to download Messenger, or asks if you want to open the page in the Facebook app.
  • Facebook disables another small feature on the browser version of the site in order to gradually force you to get the app.
  • Someone rants. (Warning: may cause cirrosis of the liver!)
  • Advertisement:
  • Someone posts a picture of a cute animal.
  • You see an ad for something you were just talking to someone about, or something you just purchased at the store, because Facebook is spying on you.
  • You get a targeted ad for something you would never buy.
  • You like one page about a topic, and Facebook assumes you’re absolutely obsessed with the topic and suggests fifty more pages like it.
  • Someone shares an untrue news article.
  • Someone shares an article from a parody news website, thinking it is true.
  • Someone reacts to a shared article after only reading the headline and not the whole article.
  • You share an opinion that offends a distant family member you rarely speak to.
  • You find out a distant relative has extreme political views that horrify or disappoint you.
  • You have to snooze a relative because you're tired of seeing the irritating posts and memes they share, but you don't want to cause drama by unfriending them or blocking them.
  • Advertisement:
  • You see Misplaced Nationalism.
  • You post a comment anywhere and a random stranger feels the need to correct or contradict you.
  • Someone links to a tag group instead of presenting a counter argument.
  • Someone uses a laugh reaction instead of presenting a counter argument.
  • Someone uses the laugh reaction on a serious post just to troll.
  • Someone shares a fundraiser or petition.
    • Take two sips if that fundraiser or petition has far more likes and reactions than donations/signatures.
  • Someone makes a controversial comment that ends up with dozens of replies in a flame war.
  • An administrator has to disable comments because of flame wars.
  • A group gets taken down for frivolous reasons that are anybody’s guess.
  • You get “zucc’d”, or go to Facebook jail.
  • One of your favorite bands announces they are touring, and someone in the comments begs for the tour to come to a town (or country) not on the tour.
  • Advertisement:
  • Someone shares one of those copy-and-paste "50 questions about me" lists that must have been passed around since the days of MySpace.
  • Someone posts something political in a Facebook group that has nothing to do with politics.
  • Someone posts a picture of Jesus, a police officer or a veteran with a caption saying "I bet 98% of you won't share this" or something along those lines.
    • Two drinks when it's a parody of one of these posts done by someone on the political left.
  • Someone uses the phrase "thoughts and prayers".
  • Drink whenever you accidentally like an old post while stalking someone's profile.
  • Your elderly relative shares a badly drawn comic or meme complaining about how kids are on their phones all the time and don’t read books, drink water from a hose, recklessly ride bicycles without helmets, or write in cursive.
  • You have to stop doom-scrolling and go do something else because dwelling on the sorry, dystopian state of the world is starting to affect your mental health.
  • Someone is spreading conspiracy theories.
  • A post with misinformation (or since 2020, any mention of COVID-19) triggers a fact checker.
  • Special Facebook Marketplace round. Drink whenever:
    • Someone asks if whatever you’re selling really is that price, when the price is right there in the post.
    • Someone tries to low-ball you and offer much less than the price you’re selling it for.
    • Your product languishes unknown for days or weeks.
      • If someone finally does notice it after that long of a wait, suddenly twenty other people want the product too.
    • Someone ghosts you.
    • Someone says they’re going to come pick something up from you and then never shows up.
    • You end up having to block someone.
    • Someone you’re trying to buy from sells the product to someone else who got there faster than you.
    • A bot tries to talk you into giving out your phone number so it can be sold to telemarketers.
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