Line #16 DarthWiki/VillainousTravelAgency


1	(See the discussion for details. Now we've summoned it from the burning hells that is.)
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3	Hello there, welcome to [[HonestJohnsDealership Honest Johns Travel Agency.]] Maybe you've [[HeroicBSOD had a]] [[VillainousBreakdown bit of a]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation hard time]] from all that [[JustForFun/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife endless wiki walking?]]. Perhaps you need to [[TenMinuteRetirement get away from it all for a while?]] Look no further!
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5	Our exhilarating range of [[TownWithADarkSecret exciting locales]] and exotic locations includes everything you could imagine, [[ThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow and a few things you can't,]] including [[HauntedHouse beautiful old buildings]], nature walks, and [[TempleOfDoom mysterious old temples]]. For our wealthy interworld travellers, please choose from our excellent selection of [[DeathWorld relaxing destinations]], ranging from [[LethalLavaLand hot and fiery scorchers]] to [[SlippySlideyIceWorld cool, crisp shelters from the relentless summer sun.]]
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7	* Greetings! I am the Monitor of Installation 04. I am 343 Guilty Spark. During your visit, you can expect to find [[CannonFodder funny, high pitched aliens]], [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy reptilian alien who say "Wort, Wort, Wort!!"]], [[TheBrute Wookiee knockoffs]], and even bird aliens. You will also find the wildlife, including an intelligent parasite! [[spoiler: Installation 04, Franchise/{{Halo}}]]
8	* A [[DeathWorld bright, vibrant world]] recently colonized by [[CorruptCorporateExecutive Dahl]], this world has various towns and settlements. What little crime there is is handled by beloved prison warden [[EvilOverlord Flynt]], and when he can't do the job, he has the elite soldiers of [[MurderInc Crimson Lance]], led by Commandant Steele to do it. The world's most well known attraction is an ancient museum that houses [[EldritchAbomination the remnants of an ancient civilation]]. Be sure to visit during the springtime, as that's when [[EverythingTryingToKillYou the local fauna comes to play with the settlers.]] [[spoiler: Pandora, ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands}}'']]
9	* Looking for a more urban scene? Then do we have the place for you! [[SecretPolice With low crime rates]], whether enjoying their famous "Victory Gin" or taking an extended tour of the [[SuperFunHappyTropeOfDoom Ministry of Peace]], the nightlife is just full of excitement![[note]]the same way getting an adrenalin rush from being on fire is ''Exciting''[[/note]], and their [[{{Brainwashed}} cheery staff]] will be almost like a [[BigBrotherIsWatching family to you]]. Consistently rated [[{{Newspeak}} TwiceDoublePlusGood]] in ''Ingsoc Today'' 300 years in a row. [[spoiler: Oceania, ''Literature/NineteenEightyFour'']]
10	* Enjoy long travel and modern comforts? Hate dirt, water and ''especially'' sand? You should definitely visit our [[ThatsNoMoon large cruise planetoid]] as it travels from system to system! Meet the [[LaResistance friendly locals]], enjoy [[SealedEvilInACan stunning ancient ruins]] and meet [[TheDragon famous]] [[EvilOverlord celebrities]] along the way! Meet us in the [[DoomedHometown Alderaan System]]! [[spoiler:Death Star, ''Franchise/{{Star Wars}}'']]
11	* [[StockAmericanPhrases Howdy, pardner!]] Let us take you on an unforgettable, hands-on journey of the Texas meat-packing business! We'll take you on tour through a [[NothingExcitingEverHappensHere small, rural community]] where you'll have a chance to meet some of the [[AxCrazy colorful locals]], who will engage you in exciting, hands-on approach to slaughtering tools and equipment. After going by a meat packing and processing plant, we'll take an afternoon excursion to meet [[CannibalClan a great big family]] of meat specialists who have lived on the same plot of land since before [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar the war]]! [[RememberTheNewGuy Hey, look, it's Grandpa!]] What's that, Grandpa? Is dinner ready yet? [[UnfortunateImplications Don't worry, Grandpa, I'll cut that up for you!]] [[spoiler: "the backwaters of 1970's rural Texas", ''Film/TheTexasChainSawMassacre1974'']]
12	* Bored of [[BadFuture home?]] Wanting to escape the [[CrapsackWorld doldrums of Earth]]? Then come join our pioneering venture to colonize a newly discovered [[DeathWorld planetoid!]] With [[AbandonedLaboratory spacious scientific research areas]], comfortable lodgings, and [[BlatantLies adorable alien fauna]] who just [[FaceFullOfAlienWingWong love getting close to you]], this is the home for you and your family! [[spoiler: the homeworld from ''Film/{{Aliens}}'']]
13	* Who needs the quiet day-to-day dullness of [[{{Arcadia}} where you live now?]] Come to our custom resort, located on prime real estate near a [[LethalLavaLand beautiful volcanic plain]], and spend your days in [[TailorMadePrison peace and relaxation]]! Our [[EvilTowerOfOminousness main complex]] is fully equipped to deal with [[ColdBloodedTorture all your needs]], no matter what they might be. And when you get tired of the facilities, take a stroll around our gardens, where if you're lucky you might even find something growing! And don't worry about [[TheAlliance potential invaders.]] Our [[EvilOverlord quite]] [[RedEyesTakeWarning capable]] [[GiantEyeOfDoom president]] watches over the whole estate from his penthouse office. [[spoiler:{{Mordor}}]]
14	* You like big cities? Have I got a place for you. The [[{{kaiju}} locals]] are a little rough, but that's just part of the adventure. Enjoy our hot springs! Your children will enjoy our [[HumongousMecha robots]] and seeing the [[ThatsNoMoon secrets]] inside the buildings. It's all a very interesting city, except [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial over there]]. And all the Tang you can drink. [[spoiler:[[Anime/NeonGenesisEvangelion Tokyo-3]]]]
15	* Tired of that little backwater village that you live in? Ever wonder if there's anything more out there for you? Then perhaps the [[BigApplesauce Big Bacon]] itself should be your next destination. As you arrive there in a stretch limo, you'll see the bright lights and the hustle and bustle of the [[WelcomeToCorneria crowds]]. With an arcade, movie theatre and even a funfair within the urban grounds, you'll never get bored, and the pleasant ladies working in the restaurant will ensure that your meals are enjoyable. Marvel at the [[LivingStatue gigantic statue]] overlooking the east side, said to be the city's protector! Gaze at how impossibly high the state building is (surely that '''can't''' only be [[ItsAllUpstairsFromHere 100 floors]])! Sample the unique hotdogs that the vendor outside the cinema sells ([[ForeignQueasine you really won't find anything else like them]])! You'll certainly be a [[BrainwashedAndCrazy nicer person]] once you take a dip in the springs here. [[spoiler:New Pork City from ''VideoGame/Mother3'']]
16	* Hey there, human! Care to go somewhere truly [[EldritchLocation exotic]]? Look no further than our humble land! Encounter our [[AnimalisticAbomination unique creatures]] and feel the [[MeatMoss soft, damp moss]] between your toes! The [[HumanoidAbomination locals]] will be happy to welcome you [[NightmareFace face-to-face]] with our [[HellIsThatNoise cheerful greeting]]! Don't be afraid of the [[BigCreepyCrawlies bugs]], [[BlatantLies they're not too big or harmful at all]]! Take a nice trip over here, [[TheCorruption it might be closer than you think]]! [[spoiler:The Crimson from ''VideoGame/{{Terraria}}'']]
17	* You looking for a sunny place, but want somewhere colourful, but concerned about the crime rate? Look no further, this place is filled with cheery locals and a well-known shapeshifting artist. The police here care about their job that they will even hold a trial as soon as they suspect someone of the crime and are extremely confident that they are never wrong. [[spoiler:Delfino Plaza from ''VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine''.]]
18	* Want a big, [[CrapsackWorld warm city]]? Looking for a place for the [[BlatantLies chaste and the pious]]? Fancy living in the [[DecadentCourt city of royalty]]? Look no further than here, where can sample the [[AllBeerIsAle finest wines]] and taste the [[IAmAHumanitarian most exotic foods]]. Visit the [[IDontLikeTheSoundOfThatPlace Red Keep]] and hear the [[TheCaligula King]] give his [[ColdBloodedTorture just]][[OffWithHisHead ice]]. In fact, even if the city bores you, you can take a stroll around the countryside. See the [[DroitDuSeigneur High Lords]] going about their realm, and you might even be lucky enough to see a band of [[RapePillageAndBurn soldiers going about their daily business]]. Certainly a must-see if you fancy some sun and sea! [[spoiler:King's Landing, ''Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire.'']]
19	* Is humdrum life in the city just too much for your taste? Take a break at our comfy little dwelling away from the noise and chaos in the city. Run by a lovely [[SerialKiller man]] and his [[MyBelovedSmother mother]], you can bet there will be no worries for you. You've deserved it! Take a relaxing break, enjoy the peace and quiet, maybe take [[PsychoShowerMurderParody a fresh shower]]. Choose from our 12 cabins, each one with it's own luxuries. Ladies, our manager suggests [[ThePeepingTom Cabin One!]] [[spoiler: Bates Motel, ''Film/{{Psycho}}'']]
20	* Everyone, from famous presidents to ambassadors arriving in our nation, has stayed in our esteemed [[EldritchLocation hotel]]. A relaxing stay here in the Rockies of Colorado is just what you need to refresh yourself! Hundreds of [[HellHotel suites]] are available, so come visit and explore our [[IndianBurialGround illustrious past and nature]]. An exciting array of attractions are featured within our property, such as a intricately designed HedgeMaze and a vast ballroom. Our staff is amazing at their jobs, from preparing fine dining, to making sure this place doesn't [[{{Foreshadowing}} burn down]]! And don't even worry about our lodging during closed season. Our [[AxCrazy lovely]] caretaker will look after this place until we open once more! [[spoiler: The Overlook Hotel, ''Film/TheShining'']]
21	* Here it is! The place of your [[NightmareFuel wildest dreams!]] Go on an [[LiteralMinded intoxicating, breathtaking]] vacation here, in the [[BlatantLies happiest place]] that [[EasyRoadToHell everyone goes to!]] Our [[NobleDemon friendly employees]] will work their hardest to make sure you get the experience [[LaserGuidedKarma that you deserve]]! [[LavaPit Our warm climate]] makes for a fun getaway, with [[BloodyBowelsOfHell a clean environment]] for a variety of [[ColdBloodedTorture fun activities]]. This exotic vacation spot has a [[OlderThanDirt rich past]] which you will [[ThingsManWasNotMeantToKnow love to learn about it!]] We promise to [[IronicHell personalize every experience for you,]] so that no one's trip is the same. So, come on down; you may never want to leave! [[spoiler: {{Hell}}, Various Beliefs and Religions]]
22	* Enjoy our [[TownWithADarkSecret quaint, yet friendly little hometown,]] with interesting residents and a culture to blow you away! Meet our [[BewareOfViciousDog friendly town animals]] and illustrious citizens, like [[DevilInPlainSight pleasant shopkeepers]], [[CorruptPolitician aspiring politicians,]] and [[DysfunctionalFamily loving families]]. Maybe [[DealWithTheDevil buy a souvenir]] from our renowned gift shop! Settled in Maine, you might say we are the [[Creator/StephenKing king]] of hometown fun! [[spoiler: Castle Rock, Creator/StephenKing]]
23	* Visit this thrilling and scenic city by the sea! [[DysfunctionJunction Meet very interesting people wherever you go! ]] There’s never a dull moment here, especially around lunch time! [[spoiler: Brockton Bay, Literature/{{Worm}}]]
24	* Bored of ol' Earth?. Visit this exotic, shining, planet and enjoy its [[DeathWorld warm climate!]] [[ItsAlwaysSpring You need clothes just for one type of weather!]] If you like overcast skies this is the place for you! [[LethalLavaLand Thrilling, hot, landscapes]]! Discover a new form of walking and moving! Climb mountains to see [[WeirdWeather snow]] like Earth does not know[[note]]Lead sulfide[[/note]]! Plenty of time to both have fun in the day and sleep! So exciting that spacecrafts sent there cut shortly contact with Earth to fully enjoy it! [[spoiler: UsefulNotes/{{Venus}}, RealLife]]
25	* Fancy a trip to an island? Than this paradise is the vacation spot for you! Beautiful mountains, a wonderful pond, and lovely fields! Plus, if you're [[SarcasmMode really lucky]], you'll meet the locals who [[SealedEvilInACan live in the mountain]]! Just one [[GhostShip fun boat trip]] away! Don't mind the rocky outcroppings in the water, the experienced crew can handle that. [[spoiler: Shoreless Isle, ''Literature/{{Fablehaven}}'']]
26	* Want to get away from it all? Try a vacation to this lovely planet in the Outer Rim today! With [[RedAndBlackAndEvilAllOver breathtaking scenery]], [[DeathWorld unique and beautiful flora and fauna]], and [[WrongContextMagic a thriving]], [[OurZombiesAreDifferent living history]] rich with [[DoubleStandardAbuseFemaleOnMale fascinating cultural practices]], this place is sure to [[EldritchLocation enchant you]] and [[FallenHero your fellow tourists]]! [[spoiler: Dathomir, ''Franchise/StarWars'']]
27	* Our diverse and wonderfully rich country is just waiting for you! Juicy green plantations, golden wheat fields, adventurous caves or more urban adventures, something is to discover everywhere. Nevertheless, you will be well guarded wherever you go. And our capital is just the best of it all! Experience a wonderful ShiningCity, try on super-expensive clothes, eat everything you can imagine and show off your ability and stamina to everyone in our annual, televised sports events! Especially your children will love it! [[spoiler: Panem, ''Literature/TheHungerGames'']]
28	* Fancy a trip to a cozy New England seaside town just outside Boston? Then come on down to our town! [[CrapsackWorld A wonderful locale]] with fantastic nightlife, loads of recreation opportunities and [[BlatantLies friendly people on every corner]]! There's never a dull moment whenever you're here, especially when you meet our [[CorruptPolitician loveable mayor]], or visit the brewery that makes [[ATankardOfMooseUrine a great American beer]]! Our people say we're "Freakin' Sweet!" [[spoiler: Quahog, ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'']]

Context DarthWiki / VillainousTravelAgency