Line #9 Blog/MythsRetold


1	Blog by Cory "Ovid" O'Brien in which he recounts myths and legends from various cultures in his own irreverent vernacular. Also features some multi-part video retellings.
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3	The subjects covered on the blog include Myth/ClassicalMythology, Myth/NorseMythology, Literature/TheBible, Myth/ArthurianLegend, {{Fairy Tale}}s, Myth/CelticMythology, Literature/ArabianNights, Myth/NativeAmericanMythology, Myth/EgyptianMythology, Myth/HinduMythology, Myth/JapaneseMythology, the Franchise/CthulhuMythos, the works of Creator/WilliamShakespeare, and more.
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5	A collection of the myths (along with several new ones) has been published as ''Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology''. A second collection, focusing on American history, mythology, and folklore has been published as ''George Washington is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America''.
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7	The blog itself is found [[http://bettermyths.blogspot.com/ here]]. His multi-part video retellings can be found on [[https://www.youtube.com/user/frostyobsitnic his Youtube channel]].
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9	----
10	!!This blog contains examples of:
11	* AllLowercaseLetters
12	* TheAllSolvingHammer: In "The Bible Took Out All the Coolest Shit About Solomon," when the title character gets another case to judge.
13	-->and Solomon's first instinct is to [[JudgmentOfSolomon chop the goats in half]]
14	* AttentionWhore: In the Exodus videos, God makes events unnecessarily protracted to give Himself more chances to show off, because He wants to be "''famous~''!"
15	* BlackComedyRape: Inevitable and unavoidable with the content of many of the myths, especially ones concerning Zeus. Ovid goes out of his way to laugh only at the ridiculousness of the rapes (as many involve weird myth stuff like turning people into animals) or people reacting to it in blase or irrational ways (such as falling in love with the rapist, or punishing the victim), rather than just laughing at the act of rape in itself.
16	%% * ClusterFBomb: The F-words are plentiful.
17	* DisappearedDad: Billy the Kid has "an Irish mom and an invisible dad."
18	* DisproportionateRetribution: The sultan in "This Turkish Princess Gets a Little Salty," who orders his daughter executed because she used the wrong simile.
19	%% * {{Edutainment}}: Sort of.
20	* EvilLaugh: In "WHOOPS":
21	-->and then he's like goodnight girls
22	-->sleep well
23	-->try not to die brutally during the night
24	-->HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
25	* ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin: These are myths. They are being retold.
26	* FamilialCannibalismSurprise: Referenced in an OverlyLongGag in "This Turkish Princess Gets a Little Salty," which features a dinnertime revelation that ''isn't'' this for once.
27	-->and this is when the sultana stands up at the other end of the table
28	-->and reveals
29	-->[[http://bettermyths.com/why-am-i-awake/ that he was actually eating his kids the whole time]]
30	-->no wait i mean
31	-->[[http://bettermyths.com/thyestes-is-one-massive-asshole-parade/ that he was actually eating his kids the whole time]]
32	-->no wait i mean
33	-->[[http://bettermyths.com/titus-andronicus-more-like-titties-assdronicuss-am-i-right/ that he was actually eating his kids the whole time]]
34	-->NO
35	-->WAIT
36	-->I MEAN
37	* IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming: The multi-part video myths tend to go this way. For instance, part one of the Genesis series was called "Did somebody say GENESIS?", and subsequent entries continued to speculate on whether or not anybody had indeed said Genesis.
38	%% * InvincibleHero: Ovid sees Sir Galahad as this.
39	* JudgmentOfSolomon: One of the stories unique to ''Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes'' covers the original. Solomon himself is incredulous at the response.
40	-->Seriously, lady\
41	what were you even planning on doing with the top half of a baby?\
42	You’ve already got 100 percent of a dead baby\
43	no questions asked.\
44	What are you, making a casserole?
45	* {{Metaphorgotten}}: Used from time to time, such as in "Medea Kind of Sucks Also".
46	-->so medea has effectively killed 2 birds with one stone
47	-->or 2 birds with one robe i guess
48	-->one poisoned robe
49	-->and instead of birds it is nobles
50	-->but the metaphor holds
51	* MundaneUtility: In "Krishna is a Butterface", Krishna uses the divine effulgence of the many precious gems on his body to help him steal the neighbors' butter.
52	* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: Medea is a "barbarian witch robot dinosaur."
53	* NoPunctuationIsFunnier: The writing uses very Little punctuation, and is written like your average tweet or Tumblr post.
54	* NoPunctuationPeriod: The earlier stories had very little punctuation; with time Ovid shed even what little there was, so that most of his myths are completely unpunctuated (emphasis and pacing is provided instead by line/paragraph breaks and frequent use of ALL CAPS).
55	* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: In "The Miller is one Drunk Motherfucker":
56	-->[THIS IS LITERATURE GUYS. THIS IS FUCKING LITERATURE]
57	* ARareSentence: In "Robin Hood is for Pussies":
58	-->so the next morning the thief shows up at the count's place
59	-->and he's like yo
60	-->you should check your closet full of doves
61	-->there are religious personages in there
62	-->and the count is like boy
63	-->how did I get to a point in my life where that sentence makes sense
64	* RecordNeedleScratch: Inserted into a myth in "It is hard for Set to not be a douchebag".
65	* RunningGag: Several ones.
66	** Dwarves sure do love themselves some gold. Like, carnally.
67	** Consulting the Oracle at Delphi is a terrible, stupid idea.
68	** Ovid keeps sniggering at anything that sounds a little dirty.
69	-->but the place where daphne finally gets tired
70	-->is right on the banks of this river Peneus
71	-->haha peneus
72	* SatelliteLoveInterest: Ovid notes that the princess from ''Prince Ivan and the Grey Wolf'' is an ''extreme'' example of this, considering she ''does not say or do anything in the entire story''. [[invoked]]
73	* ShownTheirWork: He often shows extensive knowledge of the myths he is retelling, such as pointing out how Beatrice in Literature/TheDivineComedy is actually based on a woman that Dante basically stalked in real life.
74	* SophisticatedAsHell: A key element of Ovid's writing style.
75	-->one of my favorite things about having this blog
76	-->is I get to routinely use words like fucking and seminary
77	-->IN THE SAME GODDAMN SENTENCE
78	* SpaceWhaleAesop: A natural result of trying to synthesize a moral out of most mythology.
79	-->so the moral of the story
80	-->is if you are going to have a goddess for a mom
81	-->try to have a less shitty one than aurora
82	-->one that can save your life in battle
83	-->instead of turning your smoking corpse into some angry birds
84	%% * SpoofAesop: Each story ends with this kind of moral.
85	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial:
86	** In "ENOUGH with the cows":
87	--->and the gods are like no no no\
88	why would we do that\
89	what do you think we are\
90	desperately afraid of you or something
91	** In ''George Washington is Cash Money'':
92	--->This is definitely a grand humanitarian gesture\
93	and not a way to get out of paying [[UsefulNotes/ChristopherColumbus Chris]] his 10 percent
94	* WalkingShirtlessScene: Ovid often goes shirtless in his videos. He lampshades this in part 4 of his Inferno retelling.
95	-->good thing I forgot to wear a shirt today
96	* WorkOffTheDebt: Little Ajax offers to wash Athena's dishes to atone for rape.
97	* YourMom: Apparently The Iliad did the nasty with her. Your dad too.
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