Blog by Cory "Ovid" O'Brien in which he recounts myths and legends from various cultures in his own irreverent vernacular. Also features some multi-part video retellings.
The mythologies covered on the blog include Classical Mythology, Norse Mythology, The Bible, Arthurian Mythology, Fairy Tales, Celtic Mythology, Arabian Nights, Native American Mythology, Egyptian Mythology, Hindu Mythology, Japanese Mythology, The Cthulhu Mythos, the works of William Shakespeare, and more.
A collection of the myths (along with several new ones) has been published as Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes: A No-Bullshit Guide to World Mythology. A second collection, focusing on American history, mythology, and folklore has been published as George Washington is Cash Money: A No-Bullshit Guide to the United Myths of America.
This blog contains examples of:
- all lowercase letters
- Black Comedy Rape: Inevitable and unavoidable with the content of many of the myths, especially ones concerning Zeus. Ovid goes out of his way to laugh only at the ridiculousness of the rapes (as many involve weird myth stuff like turning people into animals) or people reacting to it in blase or irrational ways (such as falling in love with the rapist, or punishing the victim), rather than just laughing at the act of rape in itself.
- Evil Laugh: In "WHOOPS":and then he's like goodnight girlssleep welltry not to die brutally during the nightHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: These are myths. They are being retold.
- Familial Cannibalism Surprise: Referenced in an Overly Long Gag in "This Turkish Princess Gets a Little Salty," which features a dinnertime revelation that isn't this for once.and this is when the sultana stands up at the other end of the tableand revealsno wait i meanno wait i meanNOWAITI MEAN
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: The multi-part video myths tend to go this way. For instance, part one of the Genesis series was called "Did somebody say GENESIS?", and subsequent entries continued to speculate on whether or not anybody had indeed said Genesis.
- Metaphorgotten: Used from time to time, such as in "Medea Kind of Sucks Also".so medea has effectively killed 2 birds with one stoneor 2 birds with one robe i guessone poisoned robeand instead of birds it is noblesbut the metaphor holds
- Mundane Utility: In "Krishna is a Butterface", Krishna uses the divine effulgence of the many precious gems on his body to help him steal the neighbors' butter.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Medea is a "barbarian witch robot dinosaur."
- No Punctuation Is Funnier: The writing uses very Little punctuation, and is written like your average tweet or Tumblr post.
- No Punctuation Period: The earlier stories had very little punctuation; with time Ovid shed even what little there was, so that most of his myths are completely unpunctuated (emphasis and pacing is provided instead by line/paragraph breaks and frequent use of ALL CAPS).
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: In "The Miller is one Drunk Motherfucker":[THIS IS LITERATURE GUYS. THIS IS FUCKING LITERATURE]
- A Rare Sentence: In "Robin Hood is for Pussies":so the next morning the thief shows up at the count's placeand he's like yoyou should check your closet full of dovesthere are religious personages in thereand the count is like boyhow did I get to a point in my life where that sentence makes sense
- Record Needle Scratch: Inserted into a myth in "It is hard for Set to not be a douchebag".
- Running Gag: Several ones.
but the place where daphne finally gets tiredis right on the banks of this river Peneushaha peneus
- Dwarves sure do love themselves some gold. Like, carnally.
- Consulting the Oracle at Delphi is a terrible, stupid idea.
- Ovid keeps sniggering at anything that sounds a little dirty.
- Satellite Love Interest: Ovid notes that the princess from Prince Ivan and the Grey Wolf is an extreme example of this, considering she does not say or do anything in the entire story.
- Shown Their Work: He often shows extensive knowledge of the myths he is retelling, such as pointing out how Beatrice in The Divine Comedy is actually based on a woman that Dante basically stalked in real life.
- Sophisticated as Hell: A key element of Ovid's writing style.one of my favorite things about having this blogis I get to routinely use words like fucking and seminaryIN THE SAME GODDAMN SENTENCE
- Space Whale Aesop: A natural result of trying to synthesize a moral out of most mythology.so the moral of the storyis if you are going to have a goddess for a momtry to have a less shitty one than auroraone that can save your life in battleinstead of turning your smoking corpse into some angry birds
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: In "ENOUGH with the cows":and the gods go and bring it to fenrirand are like i bet you cant get out of this ribbonand fenrir is like come ON guysthere is no fame to be gainedfrom breaking a fucking little girls pretty bowand i dont think youd even be asking me to break thisif you had not magicked up some ridiculous bullshitthat means i will likelose my ballsor my face will come offwhen you tie me upand the gods are like no no nowhy would we do thatwhat do you think we aredesperately afraid of you or something
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Ovid often goes shirtless in his videos. He lampshades this in part 4 of his Inferno retelling.good thing I forgot to wear a shirt today
- Work Off the Debt: Little Ajax offers to wash Athena's dishes to atone for rape.
- Your Mom: Apparently The Iliad did the nasty with her. Your dad too.